This follows on from 'Arrivals' which saw the birth of Han and Leia's first grandchild and the return to the fold of their eldest son, Jacen. Still healing from the loss of his first love, Jacen has further worries to face whilst his sister, Jaina, struggles to cope with the early days of motherhood and for Han and Leia...more angst lies just around the corner.
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"It's okay son. She's gone." Han told Jacen who had taken to hiding back in his self-made cushion den until his mother had left the apartment.
Han stood, thumbs hooked in the rear band of his pants and watched as his eldest son crawled from his comfort zone. "You're gonna have to face her sometime kid." He said, perching against the arm of a chair.
"She's gonna hate me!" Jacen croaked.
"Your mother's not capable of hate." Han shook his head.
"I hate me!" Jacen spat, looking up at his father from dark, pained eyes.
Han sighed inwardly and shrugged. "You gotta let go the hate Jace. Let it go or let it destroy you. Your choice."
"That the same speech you gave Mom?" Jacen asked.
Han considered before nodding. "Pretty much."
"She listen to you?" The boy queried.
"She's still here." Han pointed out.
"Bet you can just talk your way outta any situation, can't you?" Jacen questioned.
"Oh I don't know. I'm struggling with this one." Han sighed.
"So how did you get through to Mom?" Jacen asked.
Han disguised the roll of his eyes as an examination of the ceiling while he thought back.
"You and your sister were about six months old. We'd just learned your Mom was pregnant again and we'd invited your Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara over to dinner to tell them. She was pretty mad at me for getting her pregnant again." Han smirked. "Though in my defence, it's not like I did it on purpose."
His chuckle was met with stony silence from Jacen. Han cleared his throat before continuing. "Anyway. We'd had dinner and we were sat at the table talking..."
….. Han, confident their secret was safe, was about to announce the news when Luke asked. "Hey, whatever happened to that picture you had of our father?"
The silence was deafening.
"Picture?" Leia queried, stiffening.
"Yeah, you remember. The one Han bought for you at that auction on Tatooine." Luke prompted.
Anyone else. Han thought. Would have recognised the signs and shut up, but not sweet, innocent, inoffensive Luke.
"You have a picture? An actual picture of Vader?" Mara asked. "I always thought of him as camera shy."
"Not of Vader. This was of Anakin Skywalker when he was a boy growing up on Tatooine." Luke explained.
"I don't know. I think we got rid of it." Leia told them toying with the remainder of her dessert.
"Why would you do that?" Luke asked.
"Because I've told you, more times than I care to remember Luke, that I want no part of that man in my life." Leia responded coldly.
"'That man' was our father." Luke reminded her.
"'That man' was a monster and nothing you say will ever make me see him any other way." Leia spat.
Han rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. "Actually...I'm pretty sure I had it put into storage."
Leia glared at her husband. "I asked you to get rid of it."
"I know you did sweetheart. But I figured one day you might regret that decision." Han replied.
"Oh. You did, did you?" Leia's big brown eyes burned fire.
"Honey, we talked about this before the twins were born." Han said. "We agreed that when the time was right, we'd explain to them about Vad...about Anakin. I just thought the picture might help them to see that, before anything else, he had been a normal little kid, just like them."
"Han's right." Luke agreed.
Seriously kid. Han thought. You really need to learn when to just shut the Hell up!
Leia's head turned slowly to regard her brother.
"This hatred you have for him Leia, you have to let it go." Luke continued.
Ideally before you said that. Han thought.
"I will not have this conversation with you again Luke. Not here. Not now." Leia stated, slowly, so there could be no misunderstanding.
"But if you continue to let it fester..." Luke started, halting when Leia's hand slapped hard against the table.
"I said no!" She barked.
Han tentatively covered Leia's hand with his own, gently caressing it. Her hard stare softened at the lift of his lip into a loving smile.
"We're having another baby." Han said, his smile transforming into a grin while his eyes held hers.
Luke looked between his sister and brother-in-law, his own face breaking into a broad smile. "All the more reason to..." He began.
"Luke." Mara touched his arm lightly and Han had the distinct feeling they were conversing silently with each other.
"How about fresh caf to celebrate?" Han asked, arching an eyebrow. "Leia's made biscuits."
The caf was enjoyed with mint baked flat biscuits that had begun life as vanilla twists and conversation around the new baby, when he or she was due and whether he or she would be Force-sensitive.
Luke and Mara had left without pursuing the question of the portrait of young Anakin Skywalker and, following their nightly ritual of feeding, bathing, changing and reading to their twins, Han and Leia had retired to their own comfortable bed.
Han might not have been considered by many to be the most sensitive of men, but he'd shared enough female company to know when to talk and when to listen. As he lay with Leia spooned to his side, he was very much aware now was the time to listen.
He'd slipped one arm beneath her pillow to wrap across her shoulders, his other hand lay splayed upon her hip.
He felt her smile against his arm at the sound of their baby twins gurgling to one another. Their conversation seemed as intense as the grown ups had been earlier.
"I wonder what they're discussing." Leia commented, a hand hooking around Han's wrist to draw circles with her fingertips.
"Probably deciding which teat they fancy for breakfast." Han mused. "Or wondering what all the shouting was about earlier."
"Oh. That." Leia said sourly.
"Luke has a point you know." Han told her softly. "Maybe the kid needs to learn when to voice his opinions, but he does have a point."
Leia twisted to lie flat on the bed while Han, still on his side, looked down at her.
"I can't just forgive him the way Luke has. I don't hate him, but I still can't forgive him. Not yet. I'm not ready." She said.
"I can understand that. He took your whole world away. I get why you're not ready to forgive and forget. But the twins pick up on your moods and your feelings, even without their abilities. Take their Force-sensitivity into account and those emotions could be a recipe for disaster. You've got to find a way of reconciling your feelings for him Leia. If not for your own sake, then for theirs. Not to mention this little fella." He slid his big hand to her abdomen and squeezed very gently.
"I'm not angry with him for me." Leia told him. "I knew the score when I joined the Rebellion. I knew if I was caught I'd be tortured, or worse. I can't even be mad at him for Luke, he was only following his paternal instincts I suppose."
"Then what?" Han queried, searching her face for some clue.
"Bespin. I can't forgive him for what he did to you at Bespin." She whispered.
"I'm big enough an' ugly enough to fight my own battles sweetheart." He said, leaning forward to rub the tip of her nose with his own. "Besides, you're not the only one who knew what they were getting into associating with those rebel types."
"I love you Han." She said, her eyes drinking in his features.
"I know." He grinned down at her.
Leia smiled up at him.
"You're not just talking about the scan grid though are you?" Han asked.
Leia shook her head.
"He gave you away." She said, swallowing. "He wanted Luke as his apprentice. He wanted me dead as a Rebel spy. But you?...He didn't want you at all. So he gave you to the Bounty Hunter." She reached up to trace the scar on his chin with a fingertip. "You were nothing to him. Utterly unimportant. Invisible. That's what I can't forgive him for."
Han rubbed the tip of his nose the length of Leia's, his lips descending to press against his wife's. His movements were slow, practised and precise. When the kiss ended, they were both at peace.
"I'll talk to Luke." Leia promised. "I'll find a way to make him understand how I feel. I may never be ready to forgive our father completely, but I don't hate him. I came from love, I'm not capable of hate." …..
"If you can't stop hating for yourself, then do it for your Mom." Han said when he'd finished reminiscing.
"I'm tired. I'm going back to sleep." Jacen sulked, then crawled back into his den.
Han sighed inwardly again. It was beginning to feel like a habit.
His eyes scanned the room, resting on a bottle of pretty expensive whiskey Lando Calrissian had brought for him a while back. Han contemplated getting completely womp rat-assed before dismissing the idea as foolish.
His attention returned to the cushion-den and the boy hiding inside. And he made a decision. Dropping to his knees, Han shouldered his way into his son's hiding place.
"Dad? What are you doing?" Jacen exclaimed.
"Son, we need to talk and we can't do that with me out there and you in here." Han explained.
"This is my haven!" The boy wailed.
"Actually, this is my home. The one I share with your Mom and your brother when he's home from school. Which he will be later, only he and and your Mom are bunking with your sister, her husband and their new baby because, kid, you and I both know Jorj will have the poodoo scared outta him if he sees you like this." Han said. "So, meet me half way here would you and just help me to understand what it is that's going on inside your head."
Han spun to sit cross-legged opposite his son, head stooped forward to avoid knocking the roof off the boy's hideout.
"You know that's about the longest sentence you ever said to me." Jacen noted.
"You know how absurd we both look about now?" Han countered.
"I...I find you intimidating." Jacen said.
"I'm your father!" Han stated, exasperated.
"Who intimidates me." Jacen repeated. "If I were anybody else, you wouldn't invade my space the way you just did."
"This isn't your space. It's my living room floor." Han argued.
"If I were Mom, you'd wait for me to come to you." Jacen shot back.
"If you were your Mom I'd be looking forward to it!" Han growled.
Jacen blanched and Han exhaled, regretting his words.
"Look, Son, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply..." Han started.
"It's okay Dad. I get it." Jacen interrupted sullenly.
"Great. Then maybe you can explain it to me." Han suggested.
"I disappoint you." Jacen offered. "I'm not a great pilot like Jaina is. I don't have any special abilities the way Anakin did. I don't have Mom's diplomatic prowess or your gift with the ladies. I don't even have special needs to make me stand out from the crowd. I embarrass you."
"You run the business single-handed. You don't think that takes talent?" Han asked.
"Only because I've had to, not because it's what I want to do." Jacen replied. "You don't remember just how bad you were after Chewie died. Mom was scared you'd harm others if not yourself and asked me to look out for you. There were times you got so drunk I as good as had to change your diaper!"
"I...I had no idea." Han confessed.
"Cleaning up your vomit, faeces and urine wasn't the worst though." Jacen added. "It was hauling the garbage you 'negotiated for mates rates' during one drunken conversation after another. It cost us more in fuel than we got back. And all the time Dad, all the time those 'mates' you thought had your back? They were laughing at you behind it. The great Han Solo, the smuggler who said anything was possible with a little hard work and a lot of ingenuity, the guy who proved all the critics wrong by marrying a Princess! That guy, was nothing but a washed up, worthless piss-head."
"Jacen, I'm sorry." Han said simply.
"That guy, the one they were laughing at, he was my father." Jacen added, his voice accusatory.
"He still is Son, if you'll let him be." Han offered and cleared his throat. "You had it rough and I'm sorry, truly. You know, by the time Anakin came along I'd made all the mistakes I thought I could with you. And Jorj, well, I lost count of the number of times I wanted to shake him until his teeth rattled! He was five before he even looked at me like I was part of his family. Your Mom was run ragged and it wasn't like she didn't have her own health worries to consider. But Jorj, bless his pure, innocent heart, he just turned to her for everything."
"I see you with him now and it's like you're a proper father at last. You take him to the beach, build sandcastles with him, tickle him 'til he begs you to stop." Jacen said.
"You wanna go to the beach Son?" Han asked. "Because if you wanna go, I'll take you."
"That's not what I'm saying..." Jacen groaned and wiped a hand across his face.
"Then what is it you are saying?" Han queried. "Because this is where our problems lie, if you have something to say then say it."
Jacen let a long breath escape his lips. "You're a great Dad. The best. I mean, obviously, you've gotten better over time..." Jacen began.
"Spit it out Son." Han prompted.
"I wanna be the kind of Dad you've become. I want my kids to look up to me, to respect me yes, but to love me too." Jacen said, turning to face his father fully.
"Don't you maybe need a girl first to..." Realisation suddenly dawned as Han watched the blush to Jacen's face darken. "Tenel Ka! Her baby is..."
Han pointed a lame finger in Jacen's direction.
"Mine. Yeah." Jacen replied. "She told me after the Wedding. And before you ask, I'm sure."
Han groaned, wiping the back of his neck with a hand. "No wonder you're a mess."
"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm over Tenel Ka. She made her choice and I wasn't it, Tilly made me see that. But, that's my child." Jacen confessed.
"I don't know what to say." Han struggled.
"Say you'll help me." Jacen prompted.
"Help you how?" Han asked, afraid he already knew.
"Thing is...Tenel Ka, she doesn't want to keep the baby when it's born." Jacen went on to say.
"You're over her but you're still seeing her?" Han growled.
"Talking. Not seeing. And she contacted me, not the other way around." Jacen answered.
"So let me get this straight..." Han worried at a frown line on his forehead. "With just a couple of weeks or so to go, your 'ex' decides she not mother-material and what...asks...suggests...begs you to take her baby when it's born?"
"Kinda." Jacen replied hesitantly.
"How 'kinda'?" Han pressed.
"The truth is, this thing with Lang, it's..well..it's more of a financial arrangement." Jacen explained.
"No kidding." Han deadpanned.
"And, the thing is, he's...well...he's just not that into her." Jacen continued.
"Wait one minute." Han held up a hand. "Tell me you're not getting involved with her again."
"I'm not getting involved with her again." Jacen confirmed.
"Because she's played you already Son and I don't want to see you get any more hurt than you already have been." Han persisted.
"I promise you Dad, I'm over her and I have no intention of going back there." Jacen affirmed.
"I need some air!" Han stated and climbed to his feet, knocking cushions hither and thither.
"Daaad!" Jacen complained.
"You wanna be a father, you need to do it in the cold light of day!" Han told his son, stretching his back and shoulders. "Plus, my pelvis can't stay in that position any longer."
"I'm supposed to have somewhere safe, where I can gather my thoughts and stuff." Jacen mewled.
"Come on Jace, all you're doing in there is hiding from that 'stuff'." Han said.
"You pretend to understand, but you don't. Not really." Jacen sulked.
"I don't understand?" Han accused. "I tried running away after Chewie, you remember how that turned out don't you?"
"Yeah. You and Mom are stronger now than ever." Jacen countered, starting to gather his cushions.
"Not before I almost lost her." Han shot back.
"I know. I was there, remember?" Jacen replied.
"Okay. Look. What say we start over?" Han suggested, staying Jacen with a hand. "But seriously, I gotta sit in a regular chair 'cos my butt is killing me!"
With a disgruntled sigh, Jacen capitulated and together they righted the sofa and returned cushions to their place.
"Thanks." Han smiled gratefully at his son as they both sank into self-conforming chairs. "Now, where were we?"
Jacen shaded his eyes from the light.
"I can dim the lighting or close the blinds if that'd help, but I never knew a truth that couldn't stand up to a little daylight." Han said.
Jacen removed his hand, took a breath and licked his lips.
"Truth is Tenel Ka doesn't want me to take the baby when it's born, but she thinks it would be for the best for everyone if I did." Jacen explained.
"Everyone? How is a newborn baby not being nursed by it's own mother in a better position than one that is?" Han queried.
"When that newborn baby is heir to a matriarchal society." Jacen replied, looking through dark lashes at his father. "The baby's a girl. For certain."
"Even so Son..." Han started.
"Tenel Ka knows first hand what it's like to be the sole heir. She doesn't want our daughter to live her life the way she had to." Jacen argued. "It's not like I don't know how to look after a baby, I helped plenty when Jorj was born."
"You didn't breast-feed at two in the morning." Han pointed out.
"And the first diaper's a shocker. I know Dad, I heard you say it a hundred times before. Don't you think I've thought of all that?" Jacen asked.
"Is she going to support you financially, because keeping a kid aint cheap!" Han said.
"I am the baby's father." Jacen reminded his father. "She could just as easily petition me for financial support."
"No doubt you've already worked out a cover story for her being pregnant one day and childless the next." Han sighed.
"Stillbirth." Jacen stated. "Still happens."
"Yes it does. Am I the only one seeing a cruel irony here?" Han said, remembering his own stillborn child.
"Her mind's made up Dad. Whatever happens she's not gonna keep the baby." Jacen shook his head sadly. "If I don't take her, someone else will and I may never get to see my baby again."
"And when it gets tough, you gonna be able to handle that or are you gonna drown your sorrows in booze or spice?" Han asked darkly. "Or do you think your Mom and I are gonna bail you out?"
"I'm not asking, nor do I expect, you or Mom to bail me out." Jacen said. "But there's no denying the past few months have exposed a few issues for me. When alcohol didn't help I turned to drugs which made some things clearer but clouded others. I tried using the moments of clarity to determine what it is that I needed to achieve. How to move forward, you know?"
Han smiled to himself, sometimes Jacen sounded more like his mother than his mother actually did. And sometimes he was his father, through and through.
"Guess that's pretty funny isn't it?" Jacen sulked, noting his father's amused expression.
"I'm not laughing at you Jacen. I'm thinking how much like your Mother you are." Han's smile broadened. "It's nice. But let's cut to the chase, what's the plan?"
"After Tenel Ka's given birth she's got a sympathetic nursemaid who's gonna bring the baby to me." Jacen said.
"Okay. So, let's say, that all goes to plan. Then what?" Han asked. When his son failed to continue, Han arched an eyebrow. "That it? That's what you disappeared for six months planning?"
Jacen's stomach growled.
"Seriously kid, you want my help I need to know it all!" Han insisted.
Jacen eyed his father sceptically, before going on. "I wasn't all that far away actually."
"You weren't home, we had the apartment monitored." Han said. "The port too. An' not just for the Falcon."
"I was with Tilly." Jacen explained. "She's been...incredible really."
Han watched his son's expression soften, his mood lighten.
"She's gonna help you raise the kid." Han stated.
"She and I..." Jacen stumbled. "She's..."
"Would you rather do this with your Mom? Because I can call her if you want." Han asked.
"Aw for kriff sake Dad!" Jacen pushed to his feet and started pacing the room.
Han rose, strode to his son, gripped his shoulders and turned the boy towards him. "I wanna help ya son, honestly I do. But there's this void between us and I just don't know how to close it. You say I intimidate you, well, kid this whole situation is intimidating me. You think I'm embarrassed by you, well let me tell you I grew tall and I grew fast. I was outta my pants faster'n my Mom could fix 'em. Now that's embarrassing." Jacen laughed in spite of himself and Han let go of the boy's shoulders. "Now we can go on trading 'my Dad's bigger'n your Dad' stories all day if you like. But I'd much prefer it if you could just get beyond what it is you think I think about you and tell me what's going on behind the eyes you inherited from your mother. Whatcha say kid, huh?"
"I just feel like you're always judging me." Jacen sulked.
"I'm not. Jacen I'm your father." Han implored. "And I love you more than a man...more than this man at any rate...has a right to love someone. You, your sister, your brother, your Mom, you all mean everything to me. Without any of you, I'm just that 'washed up worthless piss-head' from back when Chewie died."
Jacen considered his father's words, their honesty and earnest delivery.
"You promise no wise cracks?" Jacen begged.
"Cross my heart." Han demonstrated with a finger. "But you gotta be straight with me. No dancing on eggshells because of what you think I might be thinking."
"Cross my heart." Jacen replied with a soft smile and another demonstration.
"You wanna build your hut again?" Han asked, trying his best to hide his disdain.
"Nah." Jacen blushed a little. "It was a dumb idea."
"See, there's progress right there. We agree on something." Han winked at his son as he retook his chair.
Jacen sat, shuffled until he was comfortable then he began. "I'm not very confident around women. Tenel Ka was about the first female to not seem to care about that. The fact that her father disapproved just seemed to spur her on and, I guess, it felt pretty exciting to me too. But little by little it became clear we really weren't actually meant to be together. For one, she..er..she liked sex a certain way."
"A certain way?" Han asked, curiosity getting the better of him.
"She didn't like a lot of..um..you know...preparation." Jacen said, fighting to keep the blush from his cheeks.
"Dry humper huh?" Han nodded and clicked his teeth. "That's gotta hurt."
"Tell me about it!" Jacen said, rolling his eyes. "Plus, she liked me to do it from behind."
"A back door dry humper." Han noted. "You're well rid of her son."
"Didn't feel like that at first." Jacen sighed. "I figured we were gonna set the world alight. Then, Isolder took her into hiding and it just made me want her more."
"Was she your first?" Han queried. Jacen nodded, unable to meet his father's questioning gaze. "You never forget your first." Han said, changing the subject. "So. The baby."
"Tenel Ka came to my room after the Wedding to tell me." Jacen explained. "She'd already made it clear that she was going ahead with the marriage. Said Lang was a 'good man' and, I guess, he was what Isolder wanted for her. They'd had sex, but I suppose that was because she needed an explanation for the pregnancy. Turns out, he has his own sexual preferences that Tenel Ka would struggle to fulfil. As her pregnancy progressed, she grew more and more concerned for how the baby would have to live it's life. Then when it was confirmed as a girl, she decided she really didn't want her child to live the way she had. Or face the same future."
"She couldn't just wriggle outta the marriage?" Han asked. "I mean, illegitimate child could surely be grounds for divorce especially in Royal circles."
"The negotiations were weighted heavily in Lang's direction. If she left, she'd leave with nothing. She'd be disgraced. No self-respecting suitor would want her or her bastard child and the Hapes Consortium could lose a lot of support, not to mention trading partners." Jacen answered.
"And Isolder wouldn't like that at all." Han noted.
"Lang won't be at the birth. The nursemaid will take the baby, pronounce her dead and wrap her for immediate cremation. She doesn't want to see the baby or to touch it. She wants no further part in her nurturing." Jacen assured his father.
"And how does Tilly fit in the picture?" Han asked, noting again how his son's demeanour changed at the mention of her name.
"She spotted me skulking about by the waste; it's amazing how good half-eaten scraps taste when you're hungry." Jacen recalled. "She took me in, made me clean up and then we talked. She's a really great girl Dad. Really great. Kind. Considerate. Non-judgemental."
"She's a peach. I get it." Han interrupted. "So how come you looked like you'd spent a month in the dumpster you'd been foraging in when you arrived on our doorstep?"
"I was on my way back when I got waylaid. There was some 'stuff' he said I'd ordered. Before I could argue with him, he had the stuff up my nose and his hands diggin' in my pockets for loose change." Jacen said.
"How much do you owe?" Han asked.
"I'll sort it out Dad." Jacen insisted.
"How much?" Han demanded, enunciating each word slowly.
"Couple of hundred." Jacen replied apologetically.
Han tossed Jacen a credit chip. "Call it a loan. And don't you even think about getting more o' that stuff. Your Mom'd kill me!"
"Truth is, I really don't get the appeal. I mean, for the briefest time there's this rush of adrenaline but when the euphoria's gone there's just...nothing!" Jacen said.
"Maybe you should go teach rehab." Han suggested. "Which brings me to what you're gonna do when you get the baby home."
"Well, first I gotta get a job." Jacen said.
"You've got one, flyin' the Falcon." Han told him. "At least until you've worked out what it is you do want."
"Thing is..." Jacen said, while chewing his lip the same way his mother did. "I already know."
Han felt his insides flip.
"Why do I have a feeling a couple o' hundred aint gonna cover this?" Han queried.
"It's not nearly as bad as it first sounds." Jacen shuffled in his chair, getting comfortable again as he sat forward to explain. "Tilly and I, we talked a lot about the future and what we'd really like is to open our own tapcafe."
"You got any idea about running a tapcafe Son?" Han asked, curiously.
"I know how to run a business. I know all about profit and loss. I understand customer service. I..." Jacen ticked his reasoning off on his fingers.
"Okay, okay." Han waved a hand in the air. "So you're experienced in the generic requirements of running a business. But what do you know about tapcafes specifically?"
"I know people want good blends of caf and lots of choice. They want comfortable surroundings and great service. Quality food, fresh products and fair prices." Jacen ticked his answers on his fingers again.
"Okay, okay."' Han waved his hand again, a wry smile on his lips. "So you've given it a little bit of thought."
"I didn't say it would be easy Dad. I know it's hard starting a business from scratch. But Tilly and me, we believe with the right backing we could make a real go of it." Jacen added.
"Next you'll be telling me you want to call it 'Leia's'!" Han teased.
"'Leia's'..." Jacen smiled as he let the name roll around his head.
"Okay, okay." Han waved his hand a further time. "You had me at opening a tapcafe. So, the next question is, how can we help? You need money, right?"
Jacen retreated into the chair's cushions nervously. "I need a good business plan if I'm going to get a legitimate loan to fund a cafe."
"Hmm. Never actually wrote an actual business plan before kid. Funded pretty much all of my exploits from sabbac and smuggling." Han said, scratching his chin before dropping into his casual grin. "I bet your Mom knows a thing or two about 'em though."
"Then there's the baby..." Jacen started, again chewing his lip.
Han had a sneaking feeling he knew where this was headed.
"Your Mom an' me, we have enough trouble keeping up with Jorj an' we only got him three nights a week!" Han's gravelly voice intoned.
"Oh...no! I'm not suggesting you and Mom take her. She's my responsibility, I know that. But, when I bring her back, I'll need to get her registered with me as her father..." Jacen licked his lips. "And Tilly as her birth mother."
"Tilly?" Han queried, eyebrows raised.
"No one need ever know." Jacen said, shaking his head.
"Your daughter needs to know. Might not matter much now, but when she's older..." Han advised, shaking his head too.
"So when she's older, we'll tell her." Jacen said defensively. His eyes flitted between his father and the floor a number of times.
"Whatever else it is, I'm not gonna like it am I?" Han asked solemnly.
"The plan..." Jacen started.
"Such as it is." Han interjected.
"The plan works best the fewer people know the truth." Jacen said.
"Ahuh." Han commented, already sure he knew what was coming next.
"So...we need you to be the only one to know." Jacen concluded. "As far as Mom and Jaina and Jorj knows, Tilly never knew she was pregnant. The baby came in the middle of night, shocked us both, but we're resigned to being responsible parents and starting our own business is just an extension of that responsibility."
"You want me to lie to your Mother? After everything we've been through? After all the weeks of pointless yaada-yaada-yaada with that Counsellor she insisted we see to rebuild trust, you want me to break the promise we made to be honest with one another?" Han asked.
"Sounds a whole lot worse when you put it like that." Jacen sulked.
"No Son." Han sighed. "What's worse is I'm prepared to do it."
"You are?" Jacen gasped.
"But!" Han growled, pointing a long index finger at his son. "You gotta tell the kid the truth sometime and when you do, you tell your Mom an' me like I aint never heard the story before. You got that?"
"Sir." Jacen nodded and grinned, his face contorting into a fair imitation of his father's.
"And you treat her right kid." Han added. "That's your blood running in her veins, that means it's your Mom and my blood too. So...you...you just treat her right, ya hear me?"
"I hear you Sir." Jacen confirmed, his grin still as broad.
"Now." Han shuffled uncomfortably, though whether that was his aching joints or discomfort in his rare display of emotions was unclear. "I'm dying for a decent nerf steak. Your Mom's got me on this low-fat, no-red-meat, tasteless, colourless diet that's supposed to extend my life by about a hundred years. Okay, so it's only about ten years, but it'll feel like a hundred eating the crud she keeps putting in front of me. What say we break outta here, go pick up your girl and get ourselves a celebratory meal someplace cheap but good?"
"Sounds great." Jacen's grin broadened even further, if that was possible.
"Maybe we could pay off that debt while we're out too." Han suggested.
"I love you Dad." Jacen said simply.
"I love you too Jacen." Han replied.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
The following afternoon, having talked further, Jacen agreed to go with his father to finally meet his niece for the first time.
Han grinned as Jaina answered the door. "Hi honey."
"Oh great!" Jaina exclaimed grumpily, eyeing first her father then her brother. "More visitors."
"Good to see you too." Han muttered and ushered Jacen into the apartment ahead of him.
"Didn't I say this was a bad idea?" Jacen grunted through gritted teeth.
"Jacen! Sweetheart." Leia was immediately by her son's side, hugging him warmly. "Everything all right? You know, are you feeling...okay?"
"You'll have to excuse the mess." Jaina waved a hand at the living area. "The Fel's only just left and Jorj is being a monster."
"Jaina!" Leia hissed.
"What's wrong Jorjie?" Han asked of the small boy, sat with his arms crossed and his face set in a deep, dark pout.
"It's a girl!" Jorj sulked.
Han tried to hide his amusement as he agreed. "Well, sure she is. But girls aren't all that bad."
Jorj's scowl and pout remained unchanged when he glanced up at his father.
"I mean, your Mom's a girl and she's okay isn't she?" Han queried, watching Jorj look at Leia then back at his father. "And Jaina's a girl. And Miss Fizz is a girl."
Han let the words hang and noticed that the darkness seemed to slowly lift from Jorj's face.
"That really my little niece?" Jacen asked, looking down at the tiny sleeping baby wrapped in a soft cream blanket. "She's beautiful Jaina!"
"Yeah." Jaina said, sounding far from convinced. "I'll try to remember that at three in the morning when she's screaming for her feed."
"Can I hold her?" Jacen questioned.
"Why not. Everybody else has." Jaina grumbled and headed into the kitchen.
"She's...tired." Jag explained. "Won't...let...me...help."
"She won't let any of us help." Leia commented.
"I can't believe how beautiful she is." Jacen said, cradling the baby tenderly.
Jaina meanwhile nursed her growing tension headache, standing over a tray full of dirty crockery, eyes closed.
"Your Mom thinks you're struggling." Han's gravelly voice broke through Jaina's solitude.
"I'm not." Jaina denied, opening her eyes and pushing herself toward the caf machine.
"It's not an easy adjustment. Bringing your baby home for the first time." Han said.
"My baby!" Jaina scoffed. "You know, the only time I get to pick her up is when she needs changing or feeding. Jorj wants to play with her; Mom wants to soothe her; Jag wants to love her and now Syal..."
Jaina cursed as a mug slipped from her grasp and bounced across the kitchen floor.
"S'All right, I just dropped a cup." She called, adding under her breath. "Another cup."
Han reached the cup before Jaina did, placing it out of harms way.
"Syal's got you worked up like this?" He asked.
"She feels slighted because we decided to call the baby Lei and with Mom and Jorj here, she feels she's been deliberately excluded." Jaina managed finally to meet her father's eyes. "So when Jorj goes back to school and Mom goes back home, she's decided she's moving in. For a couple of weeks. A month tops, she said."
"Maybe I should leave your Mom here too, to referee." Han offered with a smile.
Jaina laughed.
"Maybe you should. I think she winds Mom up nearly as much as she does me." Jaina said, passing her father to look out at the throng admiring her baby daughter.
"It's an exciting time for everyone Jaina. A new baby, new life. It's like a renewal in the belief for the future." Han said, remembering all too well his own baby girl's birth.
"What future?" Jaina mumbled.
"Okay!" Han crossed to stand before his daughter and tug her into his arms. "First off, I'm gonna order us all take-out for dinner."
"Daad!" Jaina complained, but letting herself be comforted by his big, strong arms.
"Then..." He went on. "I'm gonna get this kitchen looking like it might actually pass a health inspection."
"It's not that bad." She complained, eyeing the appalling state of her kitchen.
"Then..." He persisted. "You and the moon-jockey are gonna go lie on your bed with your baby daughter in between you and get to know her like parents are supposed to while your Mom and I and Jorj and Jacen clean up. And then..."
"Ice cream?" She grinned up at her father, recalling the times he'd added 'ice cream' to a list of duties just to check the twins had been listening.
"Then..." He repeated, tickling the end of her nose with his fingertip. "We're gonna call Syal Fel and tell her you've got...I dunno...cramps or something. That's sure to put her off staying so you and the moon-jockey can start being a family."
"We already are a family Dad. It's just that sometimes I forget how lucky I am to be a part of it." She said, smiling and snuggling against her father's chest.
"You're going to be okay you know. We all are. Solo's, well, we just have to work a little bit harder at it than most other people." He advised.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Resisting the overpowering urge to order nerf, Han sent out for Bilbringi food. The meat filled pastries sent Leia's eyebrow's skyward, though Han managed to placate her explaining it away as comfort food.
Everyone enjoyed it and Han finally got to hold his Grand-daughter.
Leia smiled as she watched him rock Lei gently in his arms, whispering a Corellian lullaby until the babe started nuzzling toward Han's chest.
Then he handed her, reluctantly, to her mother stating. "What she wants, I can't give her."
"Jorj, you wanna come watch?" Jaina asked.
Jorj looked to his mother for approval which was granted with a nod. Then Jaina and Jag, with Jorj following, exited to the bedroom to feed the increasingly restless infant.
"I think when Jaina's done we should all go home outta their way." Han suggested.
"All of us?" Leia queried, glancing quickly in Jacen's direction.
"It's okay Mom, the nut-job's gotten over himself!" Jacen said, rolling his eyes.
"Jacen, I didn't mean..." She started.
"Yes you did. And it's okay, you were right to be worried." Jacen assured her, clamping a hand on his father's shoulder. "But Dad an' me, we talked a lot about stuff. And, I'm not saying I don't still have my hangups, but I'm not sleeping under the sofa any more either."
"Jacen wants to open a tea shop." Han said with mock sarcasm.
"A tapcafe." Jacen corrected. "With Tilly."
"Tilly?" Leia questioned. "You two still...seeing...one another?"
"Has been all along." Han told her. "While you were worried outta your beautiful little mind, the lothario here was getting his kicks down on street 66."
"Daaad!" Jacen blushed furiously.
"You and she are...together, then?" Leia asked, curiously. "A couple?"
"And talking about their futures. Together. As a couple." Han answered approvingly.
"You're...happy?" Leia queried, throwing a scowl at Han. "And I'm asking Jacen."
"Yes. We're happy." Jacen's soft smile added conviction to his words. "In fact...I was thinking of asking Tilly to marry me."
"You what?" Han and Leia exclaimed together.
"The more I think about it, the more it feels like the right thing to do." Jacen said. "Partners in business and partners in life."
Leia's questioning look to Han was answered by his own puzzled expression. This was clearly not some of the 'stuff' they had talked about.
"Is it what Tilly wants?" Leia asked, clarifying. "I just mean, she spent so many years as a servant to that old couple. Her recent taste of freedom might have given her an appetite to experience even more."
"If she says 'no' then I'll know the time isn't right for her." Jacen shrugged. "But I won't know, unless I ask."
"Mama, Mama!" Jorj's race back into the living room ended the discussion before anything more could be said. The boy's eyes were wide with wonder. "You should see how Lei eats her dinner!"
"Yeah. You should see where it goes after that." Jacen mumbled with a snigger.
"Mama, can we please have a baby just like Lei?" Jorj begged.
"Oh Jorjie. Mama's sorry, but there isn't going to be a baby brother or sister for you." Leia shook her head sadly, lovingly caressing the boy's hair at the nape of his neck.
Jorj's bottom lip sank visibly.
"It's not all bad Jorj." Jacen advised with a grin. "It means you get to ride your big brother's shoulders all the way home."
"Can I Papa?" Jorj squealed.
"Hey! What's with all the noise? I gotta new baby trying to sleep next door." Jaina chided, unsuccessfully hiding her smile as she returned to the living room. "Jag's just settling her. Anyone want more caf?"
"We're gonna go get outta your hair." Han said, rising, Leia and Jacen following.
"You don't have to go." Jaina reassured them, unsuccessfully hiding her relief.
"Yes. We do." Han confirmed, stepping aside to allow Jacen to hug and congratulate his sister. Then Leia to hold, congratulate and thank Jaina for her hospitality. And Jorj to just about peck Jaina's cheek and say goodnight before Han could embrace her and rock her in his arms.
"Remember what I said. Tell Jag to call Syal about your cramps." Han winked at Jaina. "Cramps does it every time."
"Thanks Dad." Jaina smiled back up at her father, embraced one more time and waved them off before heading into the bedroom.
Jag was already in bed with Lei beside him.
"Just you, me and the little one." Jaina said, easing onto the bed to sit with Lei between them.
Jag drew Jaina's hand to his lips and kissed it. Despite all the bacta treatments and all the reconstructive surgery, Jag's lips still felt cold to Jaina. She tried not to let the feeling show. She tried even harder not to let her feelings show when a moment later, he drew her hand beneath the bedcovers to his groin.
"Jagged! Is that..." Jaina started, slightly aghast.
"Popped...up...when...you...were...feeding...Lei. S'why...I...didn't...come...see...everybody...off!" He explained.
Jaina couldn't hold back any longer, her laughter mixed with her tears.
"Dad said we'd be all right." She said, wiping at her moist eyes. "He said Solo's just have to work a little harder at it than most."
Jagged Fel laid back, closed his eyes and revelled in the feel of his wife's soft hand around his aching erection.
"I...can...do...hard..." He hissed with amusement at his own satisfaction.