Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because both Harry Potter and One Piece belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.
Word Count: 1,104
Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #237
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested by: Gabriel Herrol
===============================
To Whom It May Concern,
I must admit that for jokes directed at a guy who is literally near death within a few short days, this really has to be the lamest one ever, especially at a time like this. Imagine my surprise when the prison guards of Impel Down came storming into my prison cell carrying dozens of letters that were sent to me by you people that are 'requesting' my immediate return to some country I have never even heard of before so that I may be married off to some girl I don't know.
Seeing how many letters there are, your letters must have really gotten on the nerves of the prison guards before they finally broke down and brought them to me, in hopes that by 'letting' me reply to one of them will make the onslaught of incoming letters stop, and they only unshackled my hands long enough just so I could write this letter, though they kept on the Sea Foam Manacles so I won't be able to use my powers against them. The guards even admitted that they had tried opening the letters themselves, only to be electructed by the letters for trying. I think they were hoping I'd get shocked as well, but were surprised when I didn't get shcocked as they made me open every single one of those letters for them. Nice trick by the way though.
Since they still can't touch the letters without getting shocked, my jailers have 'requested' that I take the time to write my reply to you and turn your request down in hopes that your army of owls will FINALLY stop bombarding Impel Down with these letters, and they 'ask' that you stop before they track you down and have all of you arrested for causing them this amount of trouble. They've already arrested the group of so called 'law enforcers' who tried to break in, and are currently holding them until they go to trial for illegal breaking and entering of a government facility.
I don't know how you jackasses even got my name in order to try and involve me in this 'marriage law' of yours, though seeing how there is a second one on this letter maybe it's a mistake of some kind. My name is NOT Harry James Potter, never has been and never will be. I never even HEARD of the name before until I read it on this letter above my own name. The name is Portgas D. Ace, remember it and kindly use it.
Even if I was this Harry James Potter person, I'm under no inclination to help you with your repopulation problem if I wanted to, unless you missed the part of my letter where I said my PRISON GUARDS had to bring me your letters. Yes I said PRISON GUARDS, as in I am currently locked away in the high security prison known as Impel Down, very relunctantly awaiting for my public execution which is coming up very soon.
I'm a well known Pirate captain across the world, but if you asked my guards, they would tell you that it mainly ISN'T because of MY crimes as a pirate that I'm being executed for, but I'm being executed simply for the crime of being born to the wrong parents, who have both been dead since I was a newborn baby.
I've known for years that even if I hadn't become a pirate, I could have even been living a normal, criminal free lifestyle, but I knew that as soon ANYBODY found out who my father was, they would STILL come and arrest and execute me, just for the 'crime' of being my fathers son, even though the man has been dead longer than I have been alive.
Even if you somehow did get me pardoned from this farce of a execution trial, or broke me out of prison, I can tell ya right now that I still wouldn't be interested in marrying some girl I don't know. I have more important things to do with my life, no matter how short it currently might be, than to be with someone I don't love or want to be with because of some law made in a country I have never even heard to nor have I lived in it in order for me to be considered a citizen of it.
Insincerely yours,
Captain Portgas D. Ace
Whitebeard Pirates Second Division Commander
P.s. Besides, as much I hate saying this since I'll wind up dying because of it, trust me when I say that I am doing all of you a 'favor' by refusing this marriage law of yours. Though the favor would mostly be directed at my wanna be bride. It'll keep HER alive so that she can LIVE out the rest of her days in peace with some OTHER 'lucky' guy than ME.
Unless you know a way to keep me, my new bride, and any future kids we might have hidden from the World Government and Marines, seeing how they are planning to kill ME just because of who MY dad is, what do you think they will do to MY kids, AND their MOTHER just for being together with me, if it's discovered they exist? They wouldn't care if they are kids who aren't old enough to deserve being killed or not. They just want my fathers bloodline completely erased from the world by any means necessary.
Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently requested to my review box by Gabriel Herrol who wanted a letter written by Portgas D. Ace. lol
Gabriel Herrol asked that I make a letter written by Portgas D. Ace from One Piece gets a letter from the ministry while in Impel Down waiting for his execution. lol If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol
