IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ:

I was a little hesitant to post for awhile due to trolls but I realized there's constructive criticism and then there are a**holes with no lives who hide behind guest reviews… (Disclaimer: Not all guest reviews!)

I never said I was the best writer out there nor am I an English grammar wiz which I have stated multiple times, so to point out every error I make or criticize every aspect of this story is just exhausting. Honestly if you don't like this story then stop reading. I appreciate all reviews both good and bad (as it helps me better my writing) but when you're cruel, it just shows you have nothing else to do with your time. So I will now be moderating guest reviews.

I do try to improve with each chapter so thank you to everyone who's been reading this story even if I do take forever to post lol . I was 17 when this story started and nearly six years later I know there's room for improvement

I have gone through the chapters of this story and made various edits/rewrites hence the very LONG wait. Some big and some minor but just enough to make the story flow better. All chapters have a note stating that its been edited. So I suggest re-reading.

But if not and you want a quick recap of changes:

Story setting is now in Seattle. It was originally placed in NYC but at the time I didn't really understand the area and now that I actually live here, realize how inaccurate I was and felt that it was easier to keep the locations canon.

Minor adjustments to names of people, appearances, places, ages and even genders lol.

I've edited and added lemons… (my old ones made me cringe!) I've tried to catch all my little misspelled/autocorrected words so if there are still some forgive me.

I've also added time stamps and mini scenes just to make the story flow better. Usually when there is a (…) it's to indicate that some passage of time has occurred from the previous section or is shown in italics. Hopefully this aids in avoiding confusion towards passage of time that many of you have stated.

Okay enough of that, here's Edward's side of things.

Chapter 18

It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire, which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Edward's POV

A few days after Bella meets the family and before the events of ch. 17…

"Why do you look constipated?" Dad asks, startling the shit out of me.

"I do not look constipated. I'm thinking over here." I reply moving a few of my papers aside. My desk is a jumbled mess. Papers were strewn everywhere and even on the floor. I wait for a response but see that his attention is elsewhere as he attempts to enter my office backwards.

Wait backwards?

I'm momentarily confused by his sudden visit and watch as he struggles to pull something over the edge of my office rug. Dad's troubles are soon revealed when I hear a soft mew and see that he's not alone.

Briefly turning around, he reveals a disgruntled Joham strapped to his chest; to which he was rapidly becoming agitated at being confined and a large stroller with a slumbering Val inside. He makes it over the hump and pulls the stroller inside, closing the door behind him.

Dad unstraps Joham from his chest with ease and settles him on the floor with a blanket and a few toys. He leaves Val in the stroller but rolls down the hood, as he was still asleep. After making sure that the two of them are okay, he lets out a sigh of relief and proceeds to flop down into one of my armchairs. Dad looks exhausted. I fix him a cup of coffee from my Keurig and hand it over to him to which he gratefully accepts.

"How did you end up with them?" I questioned, watching as Joham begins to chew on one of his toys.

"Well your brother and Angela have the stomach flu so they left Joham with your mother and I. It was all fine until Jess stole your mother away for last minute preps for the wedding. You know she is a little crazier than normal since the wedding got pushed back… " He grumbles taking a sip. I nod my head.

"And then Jess roped Jane into it. The twins are at school and infants aren't allowed at the shop they wanted to go to so I ended up with Val AND Joham." This would be fine except that they thought I was in the way of their planning and I was promptly kicked out of my own house." He huffs pinching the bridge of his nose.

Hmm, so that's where I got that from….

I can't help but chuckle at the horrified expression on his face.

"Ha ha son, laugh it up." He blanches looking at both Joham and Val.

"Don't get me wrong, I love being a grandfather but I don't like being kicked out of my own home. Do you know how hard it is to get two infants in and out the car without one screaming bloody murder? I thought someone was going to call the cops with the way this one put up a fight." He gestures to Joham who greets him with a toothy grin.

"Well at least it will over soon and we can all get back to normal… well as "normal" as it gets for us Cullens." I sigh. I look back down at the mess of papers on my desk.

"Rough day?"

"I guess…" I drawl, leaning back in my seat. I let out a groan as my thighs ache in protest at the sudden movement. A coy grin spreads across my face at the realization that it was the good kind of ache as I remember the previous night's activities.

Sweet-scented skin; pale and soft, dark wavy locks wrapped around my fingers as we mutually found our release in the early hours of the morning. One would think I would be thoroughly sated after the number of times we explored each other's bodies and yet I still felt like it wasn't enough; I wanted more.

Something was missing.

Don't get me wrong, Bella was amazing and everything I've dreamed of and wanted in a woman. These past few weeks were some of the best I'd experience but this feeling in my chest was becoming harder and harder to ignore.

It was hard to describe.

When Bella and I are together the world ceases to exist. We're in our own little bubble consumed with nothing but each other. She was the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last before I went to sleep. I physically ached when she wasn't in my presence and I wondered if something were medically wrong.

I wanted to spend every waking hour with her.

Without Bella in my life, I felt like I was missing a piece of my soul.

I felt empty.

Geese that made me sound like a girl. Damn it Cullen, what is going on with you?

My inner musings are interrupted when I realize that my father is studying me curiously, his blue eyes bright and questioning. I feel like I'm ten and in trouble again as he continues to look at me.

"Can you stop that?" I grumble. He tilts his head and begins stroking his jaw and I'm reminded once again of how similar he and I are in out mannerisms.

"Why are you distracted son?" He asks.

"I am not distracted." I respond like a petulant child.

"Well answer me this. How long have we known each other?" He asks, briefly glancing at Joham on the floor.

"Um, all my life?" I watch as he nods his head. His train of thought confuses me and I suddenly become a little weary as his blue eyes begin to get a mischievous glint in them.

"Okay, since its been established that we're familiar with one another, one can conclude that I know a lot about you right?" Dad continues and I groan suddenly realizing where he's going with this spiel. I hated when he did this but decided to play along. I nod my head.

"So one can also make the assumption that since I've known you all your life then I must know all your little ticks that tells me you're distracted right?"

"Dad!" I grumble pinching my nose. He winks at me but continues.

"Tick number one, your desk is a mess. You're a neat freak; practically OCD about your organization to the point of insanity." He gestures the papers strewn all over my desk and I quickly try to clear a few papers, knocking over various others in the process all over the floor.

I let out a groan at the even bigger mess I made.

Fuck me….

I hear a hearty chuckle erupt from Dad's mouth as he gets up and helps pick up some of the papers off the floor. I arrange the papers in a neat pile.

"See? Neat freak. Something you most definitely picked up from your mother. She drives me up the wall when starts cleaning." He huffs and I chuckle. My mother was just as bad as I was if not worse when it came to the cleanliness of her office and home.

"I can't wait to tell Mom what you think of her cleaning habits." I tease. I watch as he pales and gives me the stink eye.

"Don't you dare tell your mother or I'll tell her you were the one who broke the glass vase Senna gave her." Now it's my turn to pale. My mother may be small, but damn if she didn't have the men in her life in check and afraid of her wrath.

"Tick number two," he points out " The vein in your forehead is prominent and usually it only appears when you're thinking about something hard or you're aroused."

I feel my ears burn. How in the hell did he figure that out?

"Yes aroused. Especially when you would sneak girls in and out the house when you were sixteen." I blanch at his words at the sudden realization that he was aware of my adolescent activities. "You weren't as sneaky as you thought you were." Dad winks at me again. "Since it's clearly not the latter, as that beautiful girl of yours isn't around, we are going to go with the former."

" Tick three, your hair is messier than normal; meaning you're running your hands through it, signaling you're anxious about something…then again that could also just be a bad habit you got from me." He drawls, running his hands through his own reddish hair. I let out a sigh finally having enough of his shtick.

"Okay dad, I'm distracted okay. Now stop with the interrogation." I grumble. Dad smiles triumphantly at me.

"See that wasn't so hard now was it? Now tell your old man what's going on in that head of yours. Is it work? You aren't taking on too much are you? I told you to take it easy." He chides. I roll my eyes.

"Says the workaholic himself." I retort. He raises his hands in surrender.

"I'm retired now, so it doesn't matter what I do."

"No work is fine. My commissions are better than ever."

"If it's not work, then what is it? Is it that girl of yours, Bella? Such a lovely girl. Your mother, and sisters just love her, especially Jane which is shocking. You know how scary she can be at times."

"Yes….well no…maybe..I..I… Bella is just amazing." I stutter under his glare, suddenly feeling my heart beginning to pound faster in my chest. A corner of his lips rises as I begin to fidget.

The nervousness and tightness started about a month ago. These emerging feelings began on a late night that resembled something out of some cheesy romantic-comedy. Bella and I had just returned from a night out downtown when the skies suddenly opened up.

With no umbrellas on either of us and not a taxi in sight (as we had opted to leave our cars at home), we both decided to make a run towards the nearest bus station, which was about two blocks away. By the time we made it towards the station, we were soaking wet and out of breath. One look at each other and we were both cackling like a bunch of idiots.

Bella's dress was molded to her body and she could barely see; random strands of her hair plastered to her reddened face and her shoes were nearly hanging off her feet. I was sure I look no better. This only made us laugh harder and in that moment I didn't care that everyone was looking at us like a bunch of idiots. I remembered pulling her towards me and kissing her sweet lips thinking that I was the luckiest man in the world.

There were a few moments afterward where the same feelings arose but that night stands out vividly in the recesses of my mind.

I wanted to pause that moment so I that I could immortalize it forever.

Bella Swan was my life now.

Was this what love was supposed to feel like? I wasn't sure.

I mean, I guess with a few of my past escapades I felt something close to love but even what I had back (even with Angela) was nothing compared to how I felt when I was with Bella. The inner turmoil I was experiencing was making the simplest tasks hard to complete.

Why was I turning into such a girl?

Feelings weren't supposed to interfere with my work and yet it had. I was sure I was making some progress when I notice a text from Bella saying she missed me and suddenly I was distracted all over again.

"Ah, so you are having girl problems. Are you and Bella fine? I mean you two are still together right?" He asks.

"Yeah we're still together." I reply. I'm silent for a moment as I ponder my thoughts for a few moments. My thoughts rage from one to the next; a muddled confusion of words and emotions with no clear legibility.

"Dad…how did you know that you were in love with mom?" I question suddenly. I watch as he eyebrows nearly rise into his hairline before lowering, a soft smile spreading across his face.

"Ah, now I know what this is about…." He teases.

"Just answer the question please." I plead. Sparing a quick glance at Joham on the floor, he turns and looks back over at me.

"Well you know I met your mother at work right?" I nod my head, remembering the story of how they met as it was told countlessly throughout my childhood.

"My sweet Lizzie literally stumbled into my life. As you know, I was looking for an assistant. My previous one had decided to go on this spiritual journey…yadda yadda, you know it was the seventies…" I nod my head. "Anyways, I'd practically went through about fifty resumes and none of them were a right fit until I got to one that met all my qualifications. The applicant was under the name Esmeralda Platt."

"You mean Aunt Esme? Mom's sister." I interrupt. Dad nods his head and continues.

"Yes her sister. I was pretty much at the end of my rope when it came to finding a competent assistant and I was desperate. I'd actually met Esme once before briefly at an event as she was dating my old college bud Carlisle. She didn't mention needing a job but I thought why not?" A nostalgic look comes over his face.

"I remember that day vividly. I'd scheduled an interview for to come in early the next morning so that we could talk. I had been waiting for over an hour for her to arrive, which frustrated me to no end. I was just about to call it quits for the day when she finally arrived."

"Imagine my surprise when instead of Esme, in walks this short and petite girl; out of breath, disoriented and apologizing for running late. Elizabeth was a little all over the place with her ruffled clothing and sweaty sheen from running but boy did she catch my attention. Wide, sea green eyes with long blondish curls down her back….a tight black sweater…. Not to mention she was wearing this cute tan mini skirt that showed off her legs…." Dad drawls, licking his lips at the memory.

"Gross… That's my mother…" I blanch. Dad lets out a loud chuckle, startling Val from his sleep.

"Say all you want but your mother was a looker. Then and even more so now. I was attracted to her almost immediately but of course I had to keep things professional."

" She introduces herself as Esme; to which I'm sure she wasn't aware that I knew she wasn't but I decided to let the interview progress as usual. We all know I hate liars and would have normally called her out on her bullshit and kicked her out, but there was just something about Elizabeth that drew me in and I couldn't let her go. By the end of the interview I knew she was perfect for the job but I didn't tell her that. By the time the interview concludes and she motions to leave, I let her know that I knew she was lying. I tell you son… you should have seen her face. She immediately starts blubbering and apologizing for deceiving me. Turn's out she was Esme's baby sister, fresh out of high school and here I was a decade older, lusting after her."

"I guess you could say I was in love with her then, although it's hard to believe given that was our first meeting. She had me by the balls as soon as she opened her mouth but I could never tell her that. She was just a kid. Lizzie had the whole world in front of her and I was an almost thirty-year-old sales agent who was set in his ways. I knew then that I could never act on my feelings but that didn't stop me from lusting after her though…. I told you about her legs..." Dad teases.

"Elizabeth was such a conundrum to me. She had this air about her that people just gravitated towards. I mean her laugh, Jesus her laugh made you laugh, no matter how ridiculous the conversation. Everyone in the office just loved her, she knew everyone by name and would bring baked goods every week. I would even "conveniently" position myself in the break room during lunch time just to get a glimpse of her although I would chicken out and run back to my office like a coward. She terrified me."

"Mom scared you?" I don't believe it.

Nothing scared old Ted Cullen. The man was fearless…He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly.

"What? I couldn't talk to her. Whenever I was around her my brain turned to mush. I was pretty sure she'd already heard about my intimidating habits and how much of an ass I could be, so I continued to keep my distance. We would casually make conversation as she was my assistant but nothing beyond that. A few guys at the office would flirt with her and make attempts to ask her out but I put an end to that. I was the boss and have the power to make or break their positions. It was selfish I know and I would no doubt have an h.r issue, but at the time I didn't care…." Dad stops to think for a second….." No I still don't care…in fact be grateful or you and siblings wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

I can't help but laugh….sounds exactly like me.

" Lizzie was a little frustrated with me. Everyone knew I had a crush on her but I couldn't muster the courage to ask her out. Your mother had been working for me about three months when she finally asked me out…"

"Wait mom was the one who asked you out? I thought you did." Dad shakes his head.

"No son, that what she likes to say to protect my pride, but your mother was the one who asked me out. Apparently, she got tired of waiting for me to make the first move and decided to take some initiative. While she was the one who asked me out, I was the one who planned our date. I wanted to take her out to dinner at a fancy restaurant and maybe see a movie afterward in the park but my plans turned to complete shit."

" On the night of our official first date, not only did it storm and hail, canceling the movie but the restaurant I wanted to take her to had lost our reservation. I was feeling pretty low at this point since I wanted to woo her with the works; but your mother took it all in stride. We ended up eating at some hole in the wall restaurant with smelly seats but it was one of the best nights of my life."

"We talked for hours and I mean hours…. She wanted to know "Ted", the guy who loved reading old encyclopedias, listening to Sly Stone and the Family and watching Bonanza…. not "Edward" the workaholic and worrier who hated small talk. Lizzie didn't care about any of that."

" I'd even paid the owners extra to stay open after their closing hours just so I didn't have to end the night and take her home. I "felt" like I loved her before, but in that moment I knew I was "in love" with your mother and proposed to her less than a week later."

"No you didn't….."

"I did."

"Really a week later?"

"When you know you just know. Just one day alone in your mother's presence convinced me that I wanted to be with her forever. She didn't even look at the ring I ached over before saying yes." Your aunt Esme thought I was crazy proposing to her baby sister after a week of dating…it also didn't help that Jane followed soon afterward." He boasts laughing. I don't join in. I'm still confused.

"I'm not sure if that helped me comprehend if I love Bella or not." I grumble under my breath running my hands through my hair.

"Son you and I are alike in many ways. Affection is very prominent in this family but it does not come easily to us Cullen men. At least… it hasn't always been that way.

"Your sisters and Benjamin are a lot like your mother; very open and expressive with affection. When it comes to you and me, well let's just say that while we feel it we have a hard time expressing it to another person."

"Did you know that prior to meeting your mother, I had only ever heard one other person in my life tell me that they loved me and it wasn't from my parents?" He asks. I shake my head.

There was no way.

All I'd ever heard growing up was how much my parents and siblings loved me and to grow up without hearing those words even when I sometimes couldn't verbalize it myself was unimaginable.

"My parents were products of the first war and I'd like to think that their experiences growing up with the depression, second world war, etc. shaped the way they were as adults. I mean who wouldn't be changed by all of that? My mother was feisty but distant and my father…. well he was fine before the war but the aftermath turned him completely into a new man."

"Things were already strained between my parents prior to the war but that separation just made it worse. My father had become a drunkard, coping with the after effects and while not physically abusive was mentally destructive. Love was not supposed to be that way. I felt that if you truly loved someone than you wouldn't drink yourself into a stupor and say such hateful words to your wife and son. I was about six or seven when my mother left out of the blue one night never to return."

" What was I to expect then? My mother; the one woman I thought I could depend on to care and love me, left like I was nothing. No goodbye letter, phone number… not even an address. Just gone. My dad had sobered up a little but at that point it meant nothing to me. He eventually disappeared as well, leaving in the care of my grandmother who was pushing 90, near blind, mute and frail as a rail board. Grannie was a sickly little thing and yet she did her best to care for me when it should have been the other way around."

"It wasn't until years later after she'd passed, that I began to understand how much she truly loved me. Love is when you put your needs second to those of another person. They don't complain or cry and go over and beyond to make sure you're okay. Grannie was sick and barely able to see and yet she always made me breakfast in the morning and helped me with my times tables. She'd make sure I washed behind my ears when I took my bath and say my prayers before I went to bed. I didn't think much of it at the time but what was I to expect? We were family; I thought she was supposed to do things like that for me. Nevertheless, I'll always remember the butterflies I felt in my stomach when she would kiss me goodnight. Damn, I miss that woman…." Dad's eyes slightly glaze over with moisture and he discreetly tries to wipe away a few tears. He takes a moment to gather himself.

"Look… I told you those stories for a reason. Whether it's romantic or familial, sometimes you don't need to say the words in order to express it. I don't want you to make the same mistakes that I did. I wish every day that I could tell my grandmother those words or had the confidence to ask your mother out but I didn't. It all worked out in the end but what if it hadn't? Life's too short worrying about "words" to define things."

"I've thought about my life before your mother and realized that it wasn't much of a life. I was merely existing and not living. She made me a better man and for that I am forever grateful. Trust me son, there's no greater feeling than loving someone and knowing that they love you back even when you feel like you don't deserve it.

"I've experienced love three times in my life. The first with my Elizabeth and the second and third with the birth of my children and grandkids. I've watched three of my four kids find love: Jane with Marcus, Benjamin with Angela and Jessica with Mike. I have four grandkids who keep me young and on my toes….and then there's you…." Dad lets out a labored breath.

"What about me?" I ask defensively.

"See? That right there. Look son, my advice is that sometimes life can sneak up on you when you least expect it. You don't need me to tell you what you're feeling when deep down you already know. Now I can't tell you if Bella's your one and only since only you know your own feelings… but if its any consolation, you have that same gleam in your eye that I had when I first laid my eyes on your mother."

A smile spreads across my face.

Dad looked at mom as if she hung the moon.

To me?

Bella held up the entire universe.

My universe.

Maybe this was love.

"Now do your old man a favor." Dad grins. He gets up to pick up a now awake Val from his stroller and hands him over to me where the revolting stench of a full diaper overwhelms my senses.

"Really?" I groan trying not to gag. Dad smiles crookedly at me before reclining back in his seat with his eyes closed.

"I'm getting old remember? Now put your young bones to use and change my grandson." He laughs. Groaning, I grab a diaper and head towards my bathroom when I hear his voice again.

"Think about what I said. When you know you just know."

…. WLTYAS…

This couldn't be happening.

Who knew that the simple request of retrieving keys from a dresser would ultimately prove to be my downfall?

Like an idiot, I was frozen and quiet as a mouse as I watched Maggie spew words to Bella. I could see her mouth moving but the words weren't coming through.

Maggie's sudden appearance had caught me off guard. When I came out Bella's room in nothing but my boxers and keys in hand, I was expecting Bella to be talking to Bree, not the girl I'd fucked to get her out of my head all those months ago.

What guy in their right mind wants the old and new woman they're sleeping together in the same room?

Okay…maybe a guy in their "right" mind could see this as a potential fantasy but this was quickly becoming a horror story…

And I was the main character.

I just hoped it didn't end with my death.

I continue to watch both Maggie and Bella's mouths move in silent conversation until my brain finally catches up with the events occurring. I catch the end of Maggie's words and the sudden expression of betrayal and revulsion spread across Bella's face.

No.

She couldn't be thinking what I thought she was right?

Bella trusted me…right?

My silent question is answered when the color drains from her face as Bella turns to me. Tears begin to stream down her face, her eyes dark and accusing; a glance that would forever be burned into my memory.

I'm still frozen like an idiot and jump out my skin when I hear the door slam loudly behind me. Maggie is suddenly no longer in view and a shoe flies past my face, grazing my cheek. A series of expletives falls from Bella's sweet mouth; a mix of sobs and pure anger.

The only thing that's moving now is my mouth and what comes out is unintelligible and desperate. My idiotic utterances fall on deaf ears as I stumble, various articles of clothing suddenly in my grasp as Bella screams and push me out the door, the cool front of the wood of her front door slamming into my face.

Oh the memories….

How had it gotten to this point?

The night had been going perfectly and maybe just maybe, I was going to build up the courage to tell Bella that I loved her, truly loved her. Bella had shocked me into silence by telling me first and I'd planned to show her all night just how much I loved her in return.

That all went to complete shit with the arrival of Maggie, the girl I'd slept with to fix the "itch" I had and apparently Bella's neighbor.

Fuck. My. Life.

I hadn't slept with Maggie in months, especially when I had decided to actively pursue my mystery girl.

It may have been true that I slept with her after our one nightstand and what initially attracted me to Maggie was her somewhat resemblance to Bella but nothing had ever amounted to anything.

I was a lot of things…

A son… brother…uncle…CEO…secret Beyoncé lover….

But a cheater… I was not.

I pound on Bella's door relentlessly, screaming at her to just let me in. I pound on her door for what feels like hours but in reality is only minutes. Its only the threat of one of her neighbors threatening to call the cops on me that self-preservation kicks in and I reluctantly leave; gathering my clothes that I don't bother putting on, nearly bumping into Maggie whose cowering around the corner.

"What did you do!?" I yell a sudden red haze overcoming me. I know my rage is misguided towards Maggie and that it's my own stupid ass fault for being in this situation but I was blinded by my rage.

"Me? I didn't do anything. How was I supposed to know you were her boyfriend?"

"You didn't need to know! You made Bella think we slept together."

"But we DID sleep together." Maggie points out dumbly.

Fuckkk…she was missing the point.

"In the past Maggie, the past! You basically implied that we were sleeping together as in 'currently'. A look of realization comes across her face.

"Oh…well that's still not my fault. Bella's a little naïve if she believed what I said so easily." she replies nonchalantly.

Was she serious? I wasn't sure of Maggie was aware of Bella's past history with men but as a woman I figured she at least be a little sympathetic.

Guess not….

" Really Maggie…This was all you! I fucking love that woman in there and for you to just fuck it up with a few words and…." I growl and a look of consideration appears on Maggie's face.

" Love? It was her wasn't it? The reason our little situation failed.'' Maggie asks quietly and suddenly all the anger inside me dissipates. I curl inwards on myself towards the ground using my clothes as a cushion. I nod my head.

"Bella's the love of my life…even when I didn't understand it….she was always there…" I whisper remembering that night I called things off with Maggie.

…. a few months earlier during the events of chapter 10…

Patience was one thing, but after a while a line had to be drawn somewhere and I had an itch that needed to be scratched…

After agreeing to meet Maggie for the night (in which a ball of anxiety began to form in my stomach), I'd responded to her second invitation of meeting at one of her favorite restaurants beforehand.

In normal circumstances, I would decline given our arrangement, which was just that… an arrangement, but I accepted anyways.

All I really needed was a good fuck. As crass as that sounded, I figured that maybe a night out was just what I needed to get the enigma that was Isabella Swan out of my head.

I had left the ball in her court after hunting her down for weeks and the waiting was beginning to drive me mad to say the least.

I wanted an answer; a resolution and opportunity to explain myself so that I can see if things will progress or if I should move on with my life.

The latter seems more appealing at the moment. A sudden headache appears to accompany my already upset stomach. It was going to me a long night.

Maggie greets me almost immediately as I enter the restaurant.

"I'm so glad you came." She practically beams trying to kiss my lips; my head turning quickly so that her lips graze my cheek instead. Maggie attempts to mask her hurt behind a small smile. I'm not sure why she's stunned. The only time I kissed her was when we fucked, otherwise there was no other real affection between us and she knew that.

Maggie tries to make casual conversation as we dined but it was hard to pay attention when all my thoughts were consumed with my mystery girl.

If my thoughts hadn't been so preoccupied with those of Bella, I would have been aware of Maggie's fidgeting and how she always seemed to be on the cusp of saying something before moving onto some nonsensical topic.

I would have noticed how much of an effort she had put into her appearance tonight; dressed to the nines in a form-fitting dress and heels.

I should have noticed the desperate looks Maggie gave me as she made futile attempts to grasp my hand or the ways her eyes would flicker towards mine with every move I made.

An attentive man would have noticed all these things and yet when I finally put my gaze on Maggie for the "first time" that night, all I could see was that she wasn't Isabella.

She wasn't my mystery girl.

The sudden epiphany hits me and I feel like the vilest man in the world.

While they may have resembled each other in ways, Maggie was no replacement for the real thing and it was unfair to myself and to Maggie to try and put her on that pedestal. I glanced up to her face again. Maggie offers me a broad, bright red-lipped smile when she sees that I'm looking at her.

I could tell she was getting attached to me, which was entirely my fault. Though the sex was good, it was far in between lately, where I would feign tiredness after letting her get her release. It wasn't to say that Maggie was a bad lover, but it was nothing compared to the one night I shared with my MG.

I knew Maggie was aware of how I was subconsciously distancing myself away from her by casually avoiding her texts and calls. I felt like I was betraying Isabella with each response.

Maggie may have been a bit ditsy and obnoxious at times but she wasn't a bad person. She deserved better than my indecisive ass. Maggie deserved someone who wanted her for her alone and not a pseudo replacement for a one-night stand.

Regardless of what happens between Bella and I, Maggie and her affections no longer needed to be a part of the equation.

My life was already complicated enough without an extra woman being involved.

Hell I'm not sure if she even knew my real name and yet I was stringing her along.

Declining desert, I motion for the bill and turn my attention back to Maggie who seemed to be fighting an inner battle with herself.

"Maggie I…." I start the same time she begins to speak.

"I have to…." We both let out an awkward chuckle.

"You first…"She pushes.

"Maggie, I don't think that this…" I motion between the two of us… "…is going to work. It's not you, it's me." I watch as a mix of emotions flash across Maggie's face before shifting to one of indifference.

"How cliché of you. It's not you, it's me? Seriously?" She finally states.

"It is and it isn't Maggie. Look, I can tell you're looking for something more than I can offer at this moment."

"Was it something I said or did?" I shake my head no in response.

"You and I both know what started between us was a temporary situation. Maggie, you're a beautiful woman who deserves a man worthy of giving all his attention to you; a guy who'll go to the ends of the earth to make you feel alive. Unfortunately, I am not that guy. You shouldn't be used as a replacement for something that doesn't even involve you."

"You think or you know? And a replacement? What does that mean?"

"Maggie… I know and you know that I'm not the right guy for you."

"There's someone else then? Another girl who's gotten your affections…." I'm surprised to see that she's calm when she asks me this but I don't question it as I'm grateful she isn't crying or breaking anything.

"Yes… well no….I don't know. Maybe…. Look my point is, it's unfair for you to think our arrangement could amount to something further when my mind is elsewhere. I can see that you were trying to make tonight something special and it was…but I'm not deserving of it." I rest my palm lightly on top of her hand. She pulls it away and places it onto her lap.

"I guess I could say that I'm surprised but I'm not. I should have got the hint when you stopped responding to my texts and calls. I just figured you were busy with work, but maybe I was too blinded to see it for what it really is. I could tell you were distracted. The sex was good but it was missing something and it's no fun when your partner's inattentive."

"And I'm sorry for that. I truly am. I'm just dealing with my own inner issues at the moment." I reply thoughtfully; my mystery girl making an appearance once again.

"You know, I really want to be mad at you, especially since I'd finally mustered up the courage to tell you how I really felt, but then you tell me this… albeit sweetly so now I'm having a hard time trying to figure out if I'm mad at you or not." Her brows furrow in confusion.

"Maggie you should be slapping me across the head and calling me every name in the book. Trust me I deserve it." I can tell Maggie wants more answers behind my reasoning but I don't have all the answers myself.

"I'm annoyed and a little embarrassed but not angry. I think I should go now." Maggie states through a deep breath and for the first time tonight I see a slight sheen of tears in her eyes. I make a gesture to console her but she stops me from coming closer. She gets up to leave but stops briefly to look at me.

"You know Edward, despite what you may think of yourself, you're really not all of a bad guy. From what conversations we did have these two months you seem like a sweet mannered guy. You could have left me hanging with no explanation and yet you didn't. I hope you figure things out and if there's a girl, I hope she knows how lucky she is." Maggie offers me a watery smile and leaves.

Suddenly feeling lighter than ever, the knot in my stomach dissolves and my headache eases; a sign from my subconscious that I had done the right thing.

I had done the right thing, hadn't I?

I had no regrets about my sudden decision and things were becoming clearer.

I had hope.

Someway, somehow this was all going to work out. I just had to be patient…

Well….patient enough not to show up again on Bella's doorstep.

That was the last time I saw Maggie….well at least until today that was.

….

Feeling a few tears run down my cheek and a soft tap on my shoulder, I look to see that the figure above me is no longer Maggie, or Bella like I had hoped….but a cop.

A motherfucking cop.

As if my night couldn't get any shitter, I was about to be arrested potentially for disturbing the peace. After a few questions and a short explanation of my predicament, the cop gives me a sympathetic glance and politely asks me to leave. I oblige and spot a few curious eyes peeking at me from their doors. I reluctantly get up and follow behind the cop, not bothering to hide my embarrassment of being near naked and crying.

I suddenly feel like I'm five years old and aching for the comfort of my mother….but instead, I wanted the comforting arms of the woman I loved…or did love as I was sure she thought the worst of me and wouldn't take me back.

My previous sentiments are no longer accurate.

This wasn't a horror story.

It was a tragedy.

Thoughts? Leave it in a Review!

New readers I hope you enjoyed this chapter and old readers do you like the changes I made?

So if you are still confused:

There is reference to Edward meeting Maggie in Chapter 7. There is a time marker stating two months earlier, meaning Edward met and began sleeping with Maggie two months before he shows up on Bella's doorstep (to which he goes back and forth during this time trying to get Bella out his head before coming to a decision) where he decides to actively pursue her.

Edward had every right to sleep with whomever he wanted during this time since Bella was just a one night stand and to his knowledge would never see again. If you you're still mad at him for that, you're basically saying that any relationship you had before that is considered cheating.

In chapter 10, which takes place after the events of chapter 7, there is reference of Edward meeting Maggie to relieve his "itch" aka have sex. Yes during this time Edward is actively pursing Bella although he is unsure of whether or not Bella would respond to his advances. I purposely left that section vague and didn't directly address what happened after Edward leaves for plot reasons that are evident in this chapter.

Now that's that, if you still consider that cheating and want to stop reading than thank you so far for reading my story.

Much love,

Xoxo Sylvia Cullen