Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.
Word Count: 579
Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #255
By: Sakura Lisel
Requested by: Averageweeb
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To Whom It May Concern,
You Harry Potter fanboys and fangirls are really going overboard with this fandom. A marriage law? Seriously? I read all of the online Harry Potter fanfiction out there that has something like this happen in them, but I for one never thought that I would get a delivery owl of all things telling me that as 'Harry Potter', I somehow have a 'duty' to turn myself over to the Ministry of Magic in order take part in a real life marriage law.
My name is Daniel Jacob Radcliffe, former child star of the Harry Potter movie series. I am an ACTOR, who PLAYED Harry Potter in the movies, and I have not a single lick of magic anywhere in MY bloodline. I have never been Harry Potter outside of the movies, and have no interest in portraying him again in some make believe sham of a marriage law made by a bunch of obviously insane fans of the series.
My answer to your 'request' is BLOODY HELL NO, and for you wankers to go jump off a steep cliff directly into the ocean and drown. How did you people even manage to train the owl to do that? I didn't think it was even possible to train an owl to deliver mail outside of the Harry Potter books and movies.
I am not Harry Potter, and have NEVER been Harry Potter except for the ROLE I played as him in the movie franchise. I don't know where you delusional wankers get off writing to ME of all people to tell ME that as 'Harry Potter' I am SOMEHOW 'obligated' to take part in some kind of 'marriage law'? Dream on dipshits.
If this letter is not some elaborate prank done by some delusional fans, I assure you that you definitely have the wrong guy, if you seriously think I am the one you are looking for, so send your bloody owls elsewhere in your search for your savior.
Even IF I was SOMEHOW the REAL Harry Potter, my answer would STILL be HELL NO to your marriage law. I'm not responsible for helping you people repopulate your society.
Sincerely yours,
Daniel Jacob Radcliffe
Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently requested to my review box by Averageweeb over on Archive Of Our Own who wanted to see a rejection letter written by Daniel Radcliffe. Thanks for the request. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol
Hey everyone who has already Letter #225, back when it was first put up on fanfictionnet. Back when I posted it it accidentally was a copy of Letter #226.
You guys should go reread it because the correct letter is now up, so that you can read the proper letter tha was meant to be there if you haven't alredy done so in the weeks since the mistake happened.