Chapter 4

Azula awoke hours after her forced sedation to a dark cell. Night had fallen. She sat up and put her head in her hands, feeling groggy. A fresh wave of shame came over her as she remembered what happened earlier that day. She lost control in here, just like she used to do all the time.

Why? Why can't this just go away? Why can't I be perfect again? She laughed bitterly to herself, knowing she'd never been perfect in the first place. It was all just a brittle illusion. An illusion that had quite a few people convinced, until that untimely breakdown.

Subconsciously, Azula heated her hand and put it around her neck. The pain was sharp, but she didn't immediately remove the source of heat. She let it linger for longer than usual until she couldn't stop a shout from escaping her mouth.

She removed her hand as she heard someone stir in the guest portion of the room. Someone's on the couch. It was dark, but Azula could tell it wasn't a guard. The clothing that rustled was soft, not like the clinking plates of a guard's armor.

"Azula? Are you okay?"

Ty Lee. What was Ty Lee doing here at this time of night? She must not be real. After all, she wasn't restrained for a real Ty Lee visit. Though having two hallucinations in one day was rare...

The princess asked, "Why are you here?"

Ty Lee sat up from under a thick blanket on the couch and stretched, her skin prickling in the cold air. It was late, maybe two or three in the morning, and pitch black in the room. She could sense the single guard they posted during the night dozing in the chair next to her. She kept her voice low, "I came to visit and heard what happened. Just wanted to make sure you slept okay."

Azula heard her yawn. She had a sudden desire to see Ty Lee, touch her, confirm that she was real. So she stood from her bed and approached the bars.

Ty Lee heard the bed creak and the next time she spoke, Azula's voice was much closer.

"Are you really here?"

Ty Lee thought Azula's voice sounded strangely vulnerable. The vision of her mother must have really shaken her. That or she was still in the grips of the sedative. But now, once again, Azula thought Ty Lee was a figment of her mind. She stood up, back cracking from the awkward position she'd been sleeping in.

"Of course I'm here. I'm right here. I came in the evening, but I kinda forgot that the ferry stops running back to the capital after dark, so here I am! I was supposed to sleep in one of their unused rooms upstairs, but it looks like I didn't make it," Ty Lee grinned sheepishly, although she knew Azula couldn't see her.

"I don't believe you. Come closer."

Ty Lee was wary of that request. She didn't sense any anger flowing from the girl behind bars, but with Azula, you never knew what was lurking beneath the surface. Maybe it was because she was still sleepy, or maybe she was totally crazy herself, but Ty Lee quelled the doubts piling up in her mind and stepped towards the bars.

She whispered, "I'm right here, Azula. It's me."

Azula followed the sound of her voice and positioned herself in front of where Ty Lee was standing. She reached through the bars and with too much effort, managed to bend a tiny orange light. Ty Lee's face was outlined dimly in the dark. Her eyes were still heavy with sleep, but she looked at the flame with caution.

The princess was gutted at the sight of the color, "This is all I can do right now. You don't have to be afraid." Her brain battled itself inside her head. Part questioned why on earth she was worried about traitorous Ty Lee being afraid of her, when normally she would revel in the fear. It wanted her to act, summon a larger flame, scare her! But the other… The other desperately wanted to be comforted by her after today's events.

For all the teasing she endured for being able to read people's auras, Ty Lee could tell from Azula's that she was in no immediate danger. The usual cerulean and gold was swallowed by gray. Ty Lee looked at her through the bars and felt intense sadness for this girl. Azula looked exhausted, thoroughly beaten by whatever she was fighting internally. The dark circles under her eyes had worsened over the past few weeks, and she still hadn't gained any weight. Though, thankfully, the cut on her forehead had vanished. She trained so hard in her youth to reach her dream. But she ended up sinking in her father's negative influence and now was in a mental hospital, leaving Zuko and everyone else to live their lives like they'd always wanted. She lost everything.

Again, the unwanted guilt that Ty Lee played a role in bringing Azula to this place stabbed at her. She wanted so badly to hug Azula in that moment, reassure her that it would be alright, tell her she was sorry for what happened to her, but she knew Azula. And Azula wouldn't want to be coddled. Besides, she could lash out and strangle her or something. Ty Lee's mind screamed at her to stay where she was. But her heart spoke louder.

Forget it, what have I got to lose?

"I'm not afraid, Azula."

Ty Lee reached through the bars as best she could and held the young woman in her arms. What little warmth Azula emitted was probably due to the fact that she was such a powerful firebender. Without her prodigious skill, Ty Lee imagined she'd have frozen solid long ago. The former acrobat could feel every bone in Azula's torso and for the millionth time, tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. Azula made no motion to back away, so Ty Lee clung to her tighter, face pressed awkwardly into cold iron. She released one arm to tuck Azula's hair behind her ear before whispering to her.

"You're alright. Everything's okay. I missed you so much. I lo—" She stopped before that one slipped out.

After a few endless moments, Azula reacted to the contact. The dim glow from her hand extinguished and she lightly touched Ty Lee's back. They stood that way for a long time, with Ty Lee stroking her hair and whispering those same things to her. The warring in her head grew louder, one side yelling to harshly push away, the weak one craving the touch.

For the time being, in the pitch black, Azula felt it was okay to give in to the weak one.

When Ty Lee moved to brush Azula's hair off of her shoulder, her fingers scraped the raw skin of the princess's neck. Azula jumped back as a faint whimper escaped her. In that brief moment of contact, Ty Lee felt like the skin she'd touched was on fire. Azula's hand flew to her neck to conceal the burn she inflicted minutes earlier, but under the cover of darkness it didn't really matter.

"What's wrong?" Ty Lee was concerned. She remembered the hint of a burn she saw weeks ago on Azula's neck and thought there might be another one.

Azula responded coldly with an easy lie, "Nothing. I just remembered who you are." She left Ty Lee standing in the dark and went back to her bed in the corner, tempted to give herself a new burn. Don't be weak. You can't have feelings for her. She betrayed you. She's why you're here. But…

Azula shut her eyes tightly, wondering how she could possibly want to be physical with, yet also emotionally taunt Ty Lee. She liked the idea of hurting her the way she'd been hurt. Betrayed by your best friend, huh? Two could play at that game. The thought sent a vindictive chill through her.

Ty Lee still waited at the bars, stung by princess's retort, but hoping impossibly that she would come back. When it became obvious that wouldn't happen, she returned to her couch to sleep, smiling at the fact that Azula let her touch her.

It was late morning when Ty Lee finally woke up. She rolled off the couch, her acrobatic skills making the action quite graceful, and began to stretch out the stiffness that the night on the couch had given her. The chill of the room hit her like a brick wall and she willed herself to not crawl back under the blanket. Her eyes closed as she went through some old forms to loosen and warm up. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled as she sensed a pair of gold eyes watching her.

"Good morning, Azula," she chimed as she continued to stretch, putting a little more sensuality into it than perhaps was necessary. But she felt motivated from their proximity the night before. Holding Azula sparked a desire for intimacy that she thought had surely fizzled out. There was no response, but when Ty Lee opened her eyes, she found the woman staring at her from the end of her bed.

Ty Lee asked, "Did you sleep okay?"

Azula rolled her eyes and Ty Lee almost laughed at the nostalgia of the gesture.

"As well as anyone could in this place," she crossed her arms, never taking her eyes from Ty Lee's movements. "Guard, I'm hungry. Bring something down here," Ty Lee couldn't help a shiver from travelling down her spine at the command. Her voice still possessed its intoxicating persuasive and demanding tone.

At some point, Ty Lee noted, the two day shift guards had begun their work. One of the men knocked on the door to be let out. Niko, who was waiting in the hallway to escort Ty Lee out at her request, opened it to let the man get a tray of food for Azula.

Ty Lee restrained herself from jumping with glee. She wants to eat! That's a good sign! She finished her stretching and shook out her long braid. It had tangled into an unruly rope from her night's sleep. While she combed her fingers through the chestnut locks to straighten them out, a few evenings she, Mai, and Azula spent in a tent in the Earth Kingdom flashed into her mind.

"Do you remember when you let me comb your hair sometimes while we were—" should I mention the Avatar or Zuko? Better not. "—spending all those nights in that cozy tent?"

Azula knew what she'd been about to say, but didn't care to respond combatively. She looked at Ty Lee with narrowed eyes, "Yes. As I recall, your combing skills needed improvement. I think someone could have made a small wig from the strands of my hair you left on the ground."

Ty Lee giggled, "Oh it wasn't that bad. I mean, I didn't have professional hair combing servant skills, but I was alright, considering the circumstances." She tied her long hair up in a ponytail before beginning to redo her braid. She saw the remaining guard watching her out of the corner of his eye, but paid him no attention. She was happy that she and Azula had had a normal exchange for all of two or three minutes.

The girl behind bars saw a chance, "I suppose you were better than Mai," she flexed her hand and looked at her nails, "in a few different aspects."

Ty Lee finished with her hair and tossed the long braid over her shoulder, "Huh? What do you mean?"

The golden eyes traveled the length of Ty Lee's body and she schooled her face into a mockingly confused expression, "You don't know?"

"Azula, I really don't—"

"Oh come on, Ty Lee, use that dull little brain of yours for once," she leaned back against the wall, legs crossed. She looked awfully like her old haughty self and Ty Lee was suddenly reminded of a whole bunch of mean things the princess said in the past. Azula continued, "I thought I'd come clean about something this morning. After all, Kai says I should be honest." She shot a wicked glance over at Ty Lee.

The idea of a voluntarily honest Azula frightened Ty Lee. She thought about her words, her gaze, and their implications before her mind jumped to an impossible conclusion. Confused, she blinked as she looked at the smirk on Azula's face. No, Mai wouldn't have… not with…

"You and Mai?"

"I must say, I didn't think you'd be so quick on the uptake," Azula stood from her bed and strode towards Ty Lee.

The princess was speaking too nonchalantly about this. Ty Lee's mind raced, thinking about what she meant. What? When? What exactly happened? How many times? She knew she'd only get acid coated quips back from Azula if she asked those things, so she made a note to ask Mai. As soon as she left here, she would find Mai.

For right now though, Ty Lee blinked as she struggled to respond. Her throat felt constricted and her heart throbbed painfully. She might be lying. She's probably lying to make me feel bad. Mai will tell me everything. Don't freak out until you talk to Mai. Ty Lee was struck with the sudden obvious realization that Azula was a princess; she could have had anything or anyone she wanted. But if it was true honesty, then she had to be pleased Azula told her. Right? For the sake of progress?

If it was the truth, Azula said she'd been better than Mai… Leave it to this girl to smash my heart and give me a compliment at the same time. Always pain and pleasure.

Ty Lee decided to use the latter as inspiration for what she did next. She wasn't going to be a doormat for Azula's cruelty any longer. She'd grown up over the past few years too, maturing after the war.

She pushed the tightness in her chest away and walked forward with a certain sway to her hips to meet Azula at the bars, whispering so the guard wouldn't overhear, "Mm, but you think I was better? Mai always did strike me as a prude."

Clearly this was not the reaction Azula wanted. One of her eyebrows twitched briefly in annoyance that she hadn't caused the former acrobat to fall to the floor in a sobbing mess. But Ty Lee continued as if nothing was wrong.

She bit her lip as she looked at Azula, "Tell me what you liked about me. Did I make you feel good coming back from Ba Sing Se? I think the noises you made that night prove that I did."

Azula's jaw clenched, the action not going unnoticed by Ty Lee. It was rare to render this woman speechless. Ty Lee capitalized on the opportunity. She tucked her loose bangs behind her ear before trailing her hand slowly down her neck and over the swell of her breasts. The frosty air and light touch spread goosebumps over her skin. And the way Azula's eyes followed her hand let Ty Lee know that she also probably noticed the effect this had on her nipples.

She whispered seductively, "Did you have a dream about me last night? Is that why you brought this up, sweet sugar cakes?"

Azula glared. This was not at all what she'd hoped for. She wanted the upper hand, a repeat of the turtleduck situation. But if Ty Lee felt upset by what she'd said, she was doing a great job at hiding it.

The two women were once again face to face at the divide of freedom and captivity. Only this time, it was in the light from the ceiling and in full view of a guard. Azula's mind searched for a response and she was bothered to find that the former acrobat's little tease was working wonders to distract her from intelligible thought. It's been so long since I've been with anybody…

What actually came out of her mouth was unconvincing, "You're pathetic."

Ty Lee smiled and tilted her head. She knew Azula was flustered, she hadn't raised her eyes from Ty Lee's chest, "Come on, Azula, touch me. Remind yourself why I'm better."

The logical part of the princess begged her to turn away, to not fall for this girl's seduction. Her hormones, however, wanted her to jump Ty Lee then and there. A repeat of the few times they were together would be so delicious. Azula didn't know how much she craved sexual fulfillment until that second. This backfired completely.

Her hand seemed to rise of its own accord, extending through the bars ready to brush the soft flesh in front of her. Just as Azula's fingertips reached Ty Lee's jawline, the door to the room swung open and in walked the guard with the food she demanded earlier.

Azula had never been grateful to anyone really, but she was on the verge of voicing her thanks to the guard for disrupting the show Ty Lee was putting on. She stepped back as he slipped the generously portioned tray of food under a narrow horizontal gap in the bars where they met the floor.

Ty Lee still leaned against the iron division, tingling from the uncharacteristically gentle caress she received. She watched as Azula bent down to pick the tray up. As she did so, her raven hair parted around the left side of her neck and Ty Lee finally saw the severe burn that covered it. It was a bright shiny red color, not yet blistering, and conspicuously shaped like a hand.

"Azula! What happened to your neck?"

Azula straightened up, tray of Fire Nation cuisine in hand, and shrugged, "Consequence of mental healing."

"That isn't healing! I saw another one on my first night here, what's happening?" She furrowed her brows and turned to face the guards, "Are they hurting you?"

They exchanged a glance, "Of course not, Lady Ty Lee. We would never harm a patient."

Azula barked out a laugh, "Yes, tell that to my shins when you force me into that metal chair contraption."

Ty Lee remembered the bruises from that initial visit as well. Her previous arousal was fading quickly.

One of the guards spoke, "Those markings are from securing the patient when she has fits of instability."

Azula picked at the food on the tray, suddenly not as hungry as before, "Well that's an interesting way to put it."

If the bruises were from restraints, that was one thing, but those burns were serious. Ty Lee asked her again, "Where did you get that burn?"

Azula sat on the edge of her bed, tray balancing on her lap, forcing herself to chew a bite of bread. Her eyes warned Ty Lee not to raise this subject right now. Not with both of the guards at full attention.

"It was an accident. It happened during a nightmare I was having, I must have done it to wake myself up." That was half true. Azula often felt like she was living a nightmare apart from the ones that plagued her in the dark, and the burns did usually "wake her up."

She glared at Ty Lee with sharp eyes, "Not that it's any of your business."

Ty Lee wasn't sure she believed her, but it did sound plausible. She knew Azula still suffered from nightmares and since no one was there to rouse her from them, she could have found a subconscious way to do it herself. If that was even possible. The guards whispered to each other. Azula spotted this and her eyes flicked over to them before returning to Ty Lee.

"I think it's time you head back. I expect you'll want to have a chat with Mai," Azula practically spat her name this time, "your traitorous counterpart."

Ty Lee frowned, having briefly forgotten the information about the past that caused her overt flirtation.

"Enjoy your meal," Ty Lee turned from her as the guards knocked on the door to reveal a still waiting Niko. Just before exiting, she glanced over her shoulder and in her sultry voice from earlier said, "Sweet dreams," winking and leaving a fuming Azula to eat.