Chapter two - Damaged and Broken

"Well, well, well if it isn't my favorite architect, I thought you were all talk about joining my flash gym" the big ginger laughed when he saw Sandor walking up the stairs towards the reception desk, Sandor rolled his eyes " yeah, yeah well some of us have a real job and can't spend all day bloody lifting weights and perving on women" he grumbled, looking up seeing the gym owner Tormund smirking at him "Sandor my friend I was only joking, seeing as you helped design all this its only right that your membership is on the house so please, enjoy" he slapped him on the back as Sandor turned his back beginning to put his belongings in the cubby holes provided at the front.

Sandor was startled by the giants loud booming voice again "LOOK OUT FELLAS THEY ARE HERE KICKING ASS AND BREAKING HEARTS" he hollered across the room to the other entry as three women came into view, he followed it up with "I hear you had quite the Friday night girls, Drogo tells me there were drinks thrown, asses kicked the whole circus I wish I had been there, but alas I wasn't" he said faking a sad face

"Oh Tormy you really shouldn't listen to gossip" Arya replied in a teasing way "So what, it didn't happen then?" the giant ginger replied with a confused face, "oh it happened" she smirked "but don't push it, it's a sensitive subject with Sansa" she said quietly.

Sandor was holding his breath, hoping the other side of the cubby would provide enough of a shield from them for him to go unnoticed until he could get the hell out of there.

"Yeah sure, sure" he heard Tormund assure the dark headed girl, before he saw through the squares of the cubby him walk towards Sansa lifting her up and swinging her around

"hey girly we still on for smoothies this morning or what?" smiling at her, she banged on his arms for him to put her down and he heard her reply "of course its Sunday that's our thing, you still good to take me home after the girls have stuff to do" she said readjusting her crop top and bike pants

"yeah sure, got any plans for the rest of the day I was thinking of heading up the coast for a swim" he smiled down at her

"You know what yes that sounds amazing, they say salt water cures all hurt and heals all wounds, I have swimmers in my gym bag so if you have a spare towel sounds good to me" she answered back fixing her hair up into bun on her head

"Ok sounds like a plan, see you after spin class, enjoy" he smirked patting her on the head and walking back to the desk.

Sandor couldn't believe what he was hearing was she really dating him, his little bird dating bloody Tormund Giantsbane,

"Fuck" he cursed out loud catching the attention of Brienne who hadn't walked into the class yet because she was still on her phone, she looked at him with wide eyes, taking a deep breath and walking towards him, Sandor cringed here we fucking go,

"Sandor, what are you doing here, you know stalking is illegal and just plain creepy" she hissed he growled under his breath "look I'm not fucking stalking I helped design this gym and he offered me a membership, I had no idea she came here, she never even used to work out so it's not like I expected her to be here did I" he rasped feeling pissed off Brienne eyed him suspiciously, looking at his face appearing to search it for the truth, he then noticed a visible change in her own eyes, the distinct look of pity fuck my life

"Ok fine, just don't upset her if you see her she doesn't need it" she said quickly before turning to walk away, Sandor didn't know what possessed him to do it, but he quickly grabbed the large women's wrist

"Look I need to talk to her, I know I don't deserve it, but I need too, so if you could please give her this and ask her to contact me I would appreciate it" he said handing her his business card, taking the card from him without saying anything she turned and walked into the class.

Deciding it would probably be safer to go down and run on the treadmill, he walked down stairs with his towel and water bottle deciding a 30 minute run should get him out in time before the class got finished, noting he would avoid the mornings from now, to avoid any more awkwardness.

Sandor began his run and it took exactly 30 seconds before all the memories of Friday night came flooding in.

Bronn had bloody dragged him out, telling him it would be good to go have a beer and catch up without the hassle of work and considering that Sandor was now back in town permanently he needed to start being social again blah blah blah, it's not like he was exactly social before.

That's how he found himself sitting on a lounge chair in the middle of a bar in Wesley, Kings landings newest happening area, with Bronns girlfriend Margery perched on the side of his chair bracing herself on his arm drunkenly chatting away to her friends behind him, he had been chatting with Bronn when he noticed Bronns face change and he looked over and there she was standing there, looking right at him.

Sansa Stark, his little bird, the women plagued his dreams, interrupted his daily thoughts, made it hard for him to function in general, she was looking at him, she looked sad, so hurt, his chest ached for her, then he saw her eyes glance at Margery sitting on the side of the chair, internally he was screaming No little bird, that's not what you think but then when he looked back the hurt was gone, replaced with fury, blind fury, she looked like she was going to explode, he went to stand up and go to her but then he felt the beer, all over his face, over his shirt… soaked.

Then came the yelling or should he say outward crazy screaming at him, he could see the tears flowing down her face, he couldn't breathe he wanted to go to her, wrap his arms around her, beg for her to listen, tell her he was a fucking coward, then out of nowhere Jamie fucking Lannister had his arms around her waist whispering something in her ear.

The jealousy he felt was instant, he wanted to rip his fucking head off, the sight of his hand on her made him feel physically ill, but before he could do anything, he felt Bronns arm on his shoulder

"Come on man let's get out of here, don't do anything stupid" nodding and getting ready to walk

As if it couldn't get any worse it had because before he knew its he was being kicked and punched and yelled at some more, Arya bloody Stark the little she wolf, he had to hand it to her she got in a couple good hard shots too and he had the bruise on his jaw to prove it.

After he watched her drive off in the Uber and she hadn't once looked back, he walked back to where Bronn was waiting "Well fuck me, what the fuck was that?" the man asked reaching out to squeeze his shoulder, "I thought you said you guys were ok, I mean I knew you were lying your ass off on your side of things, walking around like a kicked puppy dog who lost its best friend, but what the fuck did you do to that women, mate she was a shell, an absolute bloody mess, I'm pretty sure you need to tell me what the fuck actually happened you bloody idiot" he said trying in his own Bronn way to be comforting.

Sandor looked up at the sky, the stars were so bright, then it all came out, feeling overcome with sheer violence he turned and began repeatedly punching a trash can that stood behind them. The feel of arms forcibly holding him back, he let Bronn pull him back to sit on the bench seat nearby, spilling his guts and doing a terrible job of hiding the tears as his body betrayed him with all the emotions he had been working so hard to keep at bay.

Sandor had made it a habit not to dredge up memories of her and what was without a doubt the happiest he had ever been, he knew when he first laid eyes on her, he was absolutely fucked she was the most beautiful women he had ever laid eyes on, and as they got to know each other slowly it didn't take him long to realize that the inside matched the outside, she was caring, kind, gentle, funny, loving, sexy as all hell, god she drove him insane with need, he couldn't get enough of her.

When she had asked him out, he couldn't believe it, and definitely didn't expect it to carry on and on as it did, getting better with every text message, call, touch, kiss, just holding her hand made him happier beyond anything he ever believed he would have, he knew he loved her, he was in love and it was wild, beautiful and so overwhelmingly scary, he had never experienced the depth of what he was beginning to feel.

It was after they made love, he scoffs as he thinks " made love" but there is no other words to describe what they did the first time, that night, it was slow, it was gentle, it was amazing and he had never in his whole miserable life experienced anything like it.

It scared him so much so that the second time they had done it, he had intentionally been rougher with her, but she had matched him with her passion and it had been by far the best night of his entire life.

The next day before she had left, he had kissed her with so much passion and held her longer and closer, trying to memorize the smell and feel of her, knowing he was saying goodbye to her, knowing he was a fucking coward because she had no idea that's what he was doing.

He walked inside and sat on the couch, deleting her number from his phone and calling his boss saying he was happy to take any and all overseas assignment, preferably departing the sooner the better, he was given a project in Japan that he would have to leave for in a 5 days.

When he had received the texts during the week he had almost given in, already missing her more than he felt possible, with an ache in his chest that hurt so bad it was hard for him to believe he wasn't openly bleeding, but the fear kept him on track and he did what any cowardly bastard does and he broke up with the women he was in love with via text message.

He tried not to imagine her face, tried not to imagine the tears she undoubtedly shed because of him, tried not to see the hurt or hear the questions she would have had.

He resolved to tell himself she would be better off, he was not meant for someone as perfect as her, she deserved better, he had finally done the right thing and now that he had removed himself from her life she could find the perfect man of her dreams, someone who wasn't, old, scarred, ugly as hell, damaged and broken inside. The man she hadn't realized she really wanted.