Chapter 15
One week after the lightning incident, Ty Lee approached the palace, still wondering if talking to Zuko was the right thing to do. She had updated him a few times on her visits with his sister, not of the more intimate details that recently had come to dominate their time together, but enough for him to know that Azula was still stuck between struggle and recovery.
Ideally, Ty Lee wanted to convince Zuko that Azula needed more freedom to get even better. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to stay in the same room for four years with no privacy, no books, no games, no friendly conversation. No training space. For Azula, that was probably the most gutting. Ty Lee shuddered at the thought of being prevented from her own acrobatic movement. What a nightmare.
Still, Dr. Liu's words about Zuko stuck in her mind and sobered her hopes. She remembered his warnings of telling the young Fire Lord about Azula's lightning. Kai was skeptical of Zuko's desire to truly help his sister and the conditions at which Azula was being kept did not help Ty Lee's own doubts. She guessed that perhaps a weakened Azula meant less of a threat towards his throne. After all, this family was too obsessed with acquiring and retaining the role of Fire Lord.
Walking along the streets of the capital, Ty Lee sighed. She wondered what the two siblings' relationship would have been like if they hadn't been pitted against each other from early childhood onwards. A fresh surge of hatred for Ozai washed over her.
She didn't like to dwell on Zuko and Azula's upbringing. Partially because she didn't really know too much about it; both siblings were notoriously tight lipped about anything regarding family. She often hoped that was because of royal business and not for some darker, sinister reasons. But everyone knew of Fire Lord Ozai's reputation. Strict, intimidating, incredibly powerful, harsh. She never heard of anyone talk about his fatherly qualities and suspected that he chose his Fire Lord duties over his own children.
Then again, Ozai wasn't the only parent to blame. Ursa's role in raising Azula was noticeably weaker than Ozai's. Ty Lee knew of Azula's intense jealousy over Zuko's relationship with their mother. It was terribly obvious even as children, though the princess tried her best to hide it. As they got older, Ursa's clear favoritism of her son and inability to understand her daughter only fanned the flames of a quickly burning familial bond; leaving only ashes between the siblings. And it is incredibly hard to rebuild anything from ashes.
She shook her head of the depressing thoughts and maintained her pace, briskly walking through the dim light of dusk towards the palace gates. After several security checks, she was within the palace walls. She laughed lightly at the fact that both royal siblings were housed behind such massive security efforts. Although their circumstances were entirely different.
Ty Lee dawdled through the old hallways, taking in the ornately carved dragon statues and detailed tapestries that lined the walls. For such a stunningly beautiful place, she was always sad to find that it never felt like a home. It was just a big government building that happened to house people.
Before she truly realized it, her feet were guiding her towards a familiar corner of the palace. She glanced around and quietly pushed a giant gold inlaid door open to enter Azula's old room.
It was very dark. Blood red curtains covered the large windows completely. Ty Lee gently clicked the door shut and drifted over to the windows, drawing the curtains open to let the fading light of day in for the first time in who knows how long.
She ran her fingers along the windows and pried the old things open. They creaked with effort but eventually gave way and a fresh breeze of winter in the Fire Nation cut through the air.
Ty Lee looked down at the grounds. Of course Azula's room faces the training compound. She probably hasn't gone a day in her life without at least thinking about bending. The lights of the palace spread across the expansive lawn, orange and yellow patterns bleeding into the well-worn earth. Elbows perched on the windowsill, Ty Lee held her face in her hands and lost herself in memories of days spent in the sun with her two best friends.
This place makes me sad. The thought chilled her, or maybe it was the breeze, and she turned quickly from the window, not wanting emotions to get the better of her right now.
She looked around the room again and found it completely empty. Azula's rather large vanity mirror was missing. No traces of clothes or any belongings. No lingering smell of perfume in the air. Not a wrinkle on the tightly made bed. A thin layer of dust coated every surface. It was as if Zuko wanted to squash all memory of his sister ever having a significant presence here.
Her throat burned and she knew she had to get out of this room. Away from all the bittersweet memories and facts of a harsh new reality. A palace without Azula just seems wrong.
She took a deep breath, the cool outside air stirring her long braid against her back. A stray beam of dying light hit something beneath Azula's bedside table, sending a bright glint straight into Ty Lee's eye. She squinted and walked over to investigate.
Kneeling down, she quickly recognized the gleaming object and pocketed it without a second thought.
Ty Lee straightened up and shut the windows. She swished the rich curtains closed, shrouding the room back into shadow, before crossing to the door, running a hand along the large canopy bed on her way. She stuck her head into the hallway and seeing no guards, shut Azula's door and set off to find Zuko.
She guessed he would be done with meetings and official duties by now and so Ty Lee roamed to the other side of the palace towards the most frequented dining room.
The double doors to the room were open and behind the two guards outside, she glimpsed the serious looking Fire Lord hunched over a plate of food.
She greeted him brightly from the hallway, "Hi Zuko!"
His head snapped up and he smiled softly upon recognizing her, nodding to the guards to let her pass into the room, "Hi. It's nice to see a friendly face, all of these meetings with generals and diplomats are wearing me out."
Ty Lee entered the room and took a seat across from Zuko. He looked tired as usual, but she noticed the short, carefully manicured beard he must have grown within the last few weeks since she'd seen him. It made him look so much older than twenty one.
She laughed, "You mean you don't like being surrounded by creepy old men every second of every day?"
The tension in Zuko's face eased at the light hearted conversation, "No, no I guess I don't. Would you like something to eat?"
She was about to decline when her stomach grumbled noisily, "Sure, dinner sounds great."
Zuko gestured to one of the guards and he left to fetch a plate for Ty Lee. The Fire Lord sipped from a steaming cup of tea and eyed his friend, "So, I got your letter. What's going on with her? Dr. Liu's updates haven't indicated any drastic changes."
Her. Ty Lee frowned at Zuko not even saying Azula's name. Was the distance between them really so vast?
"Oh, Azula's fine. I just wanted to update you in person this time. I thought you'd like a visitor instead of another letter," Ty Lee fixed a wide grin across her face.
"I do appreciate that, anything to keep the stack of letters from piling to the ceiling is great," he leaned into the high backed chair and closed his golden eyes, one of the few traits linking him to his sister.
Ty Lee drummed her fingers nervously across the table top, "I did want to ask you some things about her though. Um, just… you know, some recent things have sort of bugged me."
Zuko opened his eyes and cocked his head at her, "What sort of things?"
Ooh boy, okay, just relax and say it. He won't get mad, it's just a comment, it's fine.
Ignoring Azula's past warning she continued, "Well, um, you know the methods that they use to punish, er, treat Azula? The cooling?"
The Fire Lord nodded and Ty Lee smacked herself inwardly, of course he knows, he ordered it!
"It's just that, there was one time I visited her while they were doing it and it was really cold. The whole room was frozen and Azula was unconscious from being too cold. Don't you think that's a little extreme?"
Zuko folded his arms in front of him and looked towards the door, "I think the doctor probably had a good reason to do so. She must have done something to deserve that punishment. They wouldn't needlessly do it."
Ty Lee flinched at the harsh words. He was speaking in an uncharacteristically cold tone, too like his sister, "Um, sure. That's what I thought too, but all she did was burn herself a little bit. I don't think that should mean freezing her to near death."
"I'm aware of all of this, Ty Lee. Dr. Liu informed me of her actions and he has responded in a way that I find acceptable—"
"But Zuko, it was bad! She was barely breathing when I went in to see her and her skin was ice!"
Zuko's brow wrinkled, "You went in her quarters?"
Ty Lee swallowed and her eyes darted up to meet the Fire Lord's, "Oh. Yes. I thought she was maybe, um, not alive, I was worried and they let me in." Her voice wavered a bit, but she regained confidence at the mental image of a blue tinged Azula, "She needed somebody."
He sighed, a look of annoyance flashing across his face, "They shouldn't have let you in there."
Ty Lee felt a swell of anger, "Why not? After four years she still isn't allowed to have contact with another person? Do you hate her that much?"
Zuko's own temper flared a little at the accusation, "She could have hurt you! After four years you still don't recognize the threat she poses?"
"For Agni's sake Zuko, she's locked up and restrained in a cell! If I ever felt threatened, I could defend myself against her, we all know that." As she said the words, a prickle of doubt seized her. The lightning incident threw a wrench into her confidence. Respecting Kai's wishes, she did not mention this to Zuko. Ty Lee curled her hands into fists on the table, "Don't you want her to be healthy? How does freezing her and keeping her isolated help her in any way?"
"It keeps her contained!" he nearly shouted, waving an arm, the long sleeve of his robes trailed through the air. The guard outside shifted nervously on his feet as he glanced inside the room. Zuko buried his forehead in his hand, "If I let her… If I loosen restrictions, she'll get out. Somehow, she would. I'd be worried sick if she was roaming around freely. With her abilities, I'd never find her and I have no idea what she'd do."
Ty Lee looked at him, mouth agape, not quite knowing what to say. Zuko took a breath before pressing on.
"I don't want to hurt her," he looked up at Ty Lee, eyes almost pleading with her. "You have to understand that I don't like or want to do this, right? It's the only way to keep her in check."
She shook her head in mild disgust, "I think if you had kept up visiting her, you might have a different opinion. She's restless in there. You think cooping her up will stop her from-from what exactly? From stealing the throne? From launching her own agenda somewhere? Who knows if she even wants those things?"
Zuko gave her a knowing look, "It's Azula. As long as I wear this crown, she'll always want those things."
Deep down, Ty Lee had a sickening feeling that Zuko was right. The more she thought about it, reconciliation between the two siblings seemed impossible.
Their shouting ceased and the sound of clinking armor filled the air. The guard that Zuko sent away earlier returned with a heaping plate of food for Ty Lee. She stared down at the meal in front of her, not feeling nearly as hungry as she was before.
"So then, are you going to keep her in there forever?" she asked softly, prodding at the food with her chopsticks.
Zuko looked genuinely defeated, "I don't know. For now, I think she's where she needs to be. Dr. Liu is there for her, she has what she needs to get better."
Yes, the bare minimum.
"Out of sight, out of mind, huh?" Ty Lee whispered. She regretted it instantly at the look of hurt on Zuko's face, but didn't apologize. No one else seemed to remotely care about Azula anymore and it was starting to wear on Ty Lee's patience.
The two finished their dinner in silence, both thinking too hard about a woman miles and miles away.
Eventually, Ty Lee stood up to leave, "Thanks for the food, Zuko. I… Don't work too hard." She smiled easily, though the expression didn't quite reach her eyes.
He returned his own strained smile, "Get home safely."
She turned from the table, winding her way through the long hallways and out the front entrance towards the moonlit streets of the capital. Such a broken family. Ty Lee decided she would stop by her parents' place on the way home. She hadn't been there in some time.
In the dining room, Zuko lowered his head and scratched the new beard on his jaw. He wasn't quite used to it yet. His head swam with familiar thoughts about his sister. Is she really struggling with the cooling as much as Ty Lee said? Did I overdo it? Am I acting like Father?
The last unsettling thought crossed his mind for the millionth time. Despite how desperately he used to crave his father's approval, Zuko recognized just how fortunate he'd been to be guided by his uncle. Though she was favored since their early childhood years, he knew Azula was forced to train and study obsessively. He also knew their father's temper and was almost certain that no matter how perfect his sister had been, she'd probably been at the receiving end of his anger at some point. In what form and how often, he did not know. Probably more often than I want to know.
He stood from the table and strode over to one of the windows facing a small courtyard outside. Just a sliver in the sky, the crescent moon still illuminated the grounds. Hands clenched behind his back, he breathed deeply. Should I go see her?
Zuko remembered the last time he saw his sister. How long ago was that? Six months? A year? He was in the chilly cell for only ten or fifteen minutes. The entire time was spent in taut silence, with Azula sprawled out casually on her bed acting like he didn't exist.
No. Not yet.