Ben was about to do something that he'd never done before; fortunately, Rey had shown him how to give. Ben poured everything he had into her, finding hidden reservoirs that he didn't know were there before. She was his everything; it was only fair that he gave her his all.
He didn't know how much time had passed, but the longer it went on the more he could feel doubt creeping into his mind – what if this didn't work? What if everything had been for nothing and Rey was truly beyond his grasp forever? ...It would only be what he deserved, after everything that he had done. He had never been good at doing the right thing, and losing her would only be fair.
Don't say things like that
It was weak and feeble; but he heard her voice inside his head all the same, and his eyes snapped open, watching her closely. Her diaphragm rose with a breath, and he could feel her warm hand on top of his. Rey sat up, almost seeming surprised to see him; but still refused to pull away.
They stared at each other for a moment, and he waited for her to understand what happened. She was alive and it made him feel happier than he could ever remember being.
You saved me, didn't you? It came over to him as almost a whisper, but she was smiling all the same, the greatest gift that she could ever give him.
I did. I couldn't bear to keep living without you. Even if – even if we aren't together. I'm not good for you. The smart thing would be to just leave me -
"Ben," she reached over and placed a hand lightly on his cheek, her constant smile radiating light, "didn't I tell you not to say things like that?" She was glad to see him; glad to be with him in this moment and could think of nothing better to show it then to lean forward, catching his lips with hers.
I love you, and don't you dare think that you're not good for me ever again.
You do? He paused, taking a moment to enjoy the sensation of her kiss, to memorize how sweet she tasted. Ah, you do. His heart was completely full and on second thought, this was the greatest gift she could ever give him.
But as they say, all good things must come to an end, and even as he felt himself at his highest, he started to feel a pull downwards at an alarming rate. Rey pulled away from him, concern etched onto her face; she could feel him growing cold.
Ben smiled at her, giving her the biggest, stupidest grin that he could, even as he could feel his consciousness fading. He wanted her to know, wanted her to feel without a shadow of a doubt that he loved her, that she had always been his sole light in life. With how inexperienced at the technique of giving her his life as he was, he was surprised yet happy nonetheless at the time that he had been given to be with her. He would have loved more than anything to be with her longer, to grow old together. But then he really shouldn't be surprised, he was used to not getting what he wanted.
He didn't know if he would ever wake up again, and as depressing a thought as it was, at least he had managed to give Rey back to the galaxy. It wouldn't atone for the darkness that he wrought, but it was the least he could do. Force only knew how much better the galaxy would be with her in it.
I love you, Rey
Rey continued to clasp Ben's hand as he fell backwards, falling with him in denial out of what was happening. "No, no, no..." She whispered, voice breaking. "Ben..." She reached out to touch his face with her free hand, as if that was all it would take for him to wake up. "Please, please don't do this to me..."
She rested her head on his chest, sobbing openly. He had sacrificed everything for her and for what? Nothing, nothing at all. Neither of them got anything out of this; neither getting the happy ending that they so rightfully deserved. She cried harder, her heart in pieces and her soul tearing itself apart.
"You were supposed to be with me..." Her voice came out broken and uneven, wracked by torment. She pounded his chest in grief and frustration, gripping his cold hand tightly in hers. She finally got to take Ben Solo's hand, only for him to be ripped cruelly away from her. "It's not fair...it's not..."
She didn't care if the world was crumbling around her; didn't care if anyone came looking for her. Ben had left her and there was no possible way that she could see herself moving forward without him. She would die here with him, and then they could finally, finally be together.
"Rey, it's going to be alright." It was only out of the sheer surprise at the gentle hand on her shoulder that she found the strength to look up, seeing the force ghost of Leia Organa kneeling just in front of them.
"L-Leia...?" Her voice came out weak and hoarse, her throat sore from crying.
Leia nodded. "You didn't really think that I would let my only son die, did you?" she gave Rey the softest, kindest of smiles; the kind that only a mother could give. "The two of you deserve more than this." She added, glancing around at the wreckage. She squeezed Rey's shoulder comfortingly before moving so that her hands were on either side of Ben's face.
Leia bent down, so that her forehead was touching Ben's. "My dear boy, it's time to wake up. Didn't I teach you that it's rude to make a girl cry?" The glow around her grew brighter at that moment, strong enough that Rey was forced to look away. When the light faded, she felt Ben take a single, shuddering breath.
"Ben?!" Rey looked up quickly so that could see his face. His eyes were still closed, but she could feel his chest continue to rise and fall, settling into a steady rhythm, and a soft warmth was slowly returning to his hand. He wasn't conscious yet, but he was alive.
Ben Solo is alive
She smiled at the thought, the tears still streaming down her face no longer from sadness, but instead from relief. She knew he was exhausted; she felt it too. She would let him rest, as at least he was alive. As tired as she was, she knew that she didn't have the strength to carry him; instead she reached out, calling for someone who would come to her aid.
It didn't take long for the familiar sound of the Millennium Falcon approaching to reach her ears, and she smiled. If anyone would have heard her, she knew that it would be Finn. The roof of the cavern had long since caved in, leaving enough space for the Falcon to land. Rey knew that no one else shared her thoughts on Ben, but it didn't matter. She knew that she could convince them, and taking Ben with them was not something she was willing to negotiate on.
She would get him help with his injuries and then he would wake up and they could start their new beginning together.
