Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because both Harry Potter and Fate/Stay Night and Fate/Apocrypha belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.

Word Count: 614

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #292
Submitted by: Quatermass
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Dear Morons,

Wow. Seriously, I thought the wizards of my time were bloody idiots, or else trolls (Merlin, for example), and the Magi aren't that far behind. And yet, here you are, trying to rope Harry into a marriage he doesn't want. Well, newsflash, shitheads, we're already wed. Irrevocably. Thanks to a certain trolling vampire called Zelretch, if you must know. And while I still wanna gut that damned Dead Apostle, he at least had the courtesy to wait until I got to know Harry.

Oh, that's another thing! Why the actual hell did you call him 'Harry Potter' on that letter? He's been 'Harry Fujimura' since our adoptive mother Taiga Fujimura adopted him! He's been registered with the mundane authorities, the wizards, the Magi, Clock Tower...hell, even that old goat you've got teaching at Hogwarts accepted his real name!

Anyway, Harry found me at Hogwarts a few years back. That troll Merlin left me in stasis to heal after I got skewered by my Father. Harry woke me up, and while it was pretty rough at first, I came to like the scrawny bugger. He actually helped me realise, I can be a knight and a girl. Thanks to him, I came to terms with my feelings for my Father, so that, when we met again not long ago, I didn't skewer Father.

Oh yeah, my Father. I forgot to mention, my Father is King Arthur Pendragon...well, actually, technically, she's Arturia Pendragon. And if you're wondering how a woman could conceive with another woman...blame Merlin and a certain gender-changing spell. Besides, it's weird knowing your father is also your own uncle...then again, I'm sure you inbred hicks know a lot about inbreeding!

Anyway, your letter came at a time when we were just recovering from the Fifth Holy Grail War, which we barely survived. So, I'm a bit pissed that you guys want to break me and Harry up to have her marry some inbred bitch. Well, not a BIT pissed. I'm absolutely fucking livid. And so's Harry, and so's Taiga.

So, here's what's gonna happen. You guys are gonna cease and desist with your goddamn letters, or, if you send people to try and force the issue, I will force the issue back...by forcing Clarent up your arses so you can pick your teeth with the pointy end. And I'm sure Mum and Harry will do the same with shinais. I'm sure my Father will have words with you for denying her kid a chance at happiness too.

Yours insincerely,

Mordred Potter, nee Pendragon-Fujimura

PS. Eat shit and die.

Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: And now, my second (and probably last for a while) letter, based on my "Fate/Stay Night" and "Fate/Apocrypha" crossover "Knight of Betrayal and Taiga Cub"...