Chapter 30

The sun was already peeking through the dark red curtains of Zuko's canopy bed, when he finally woke up that Tuesday morning. He sat up and stretched, mouth slightly open and eyes still half shut with sleep. Zuko rolled off of his bed and began to pull on simple pants and a t-shirt to wear beneath his heavier Fire Lord garb.

A knock at his door prompted Zuko to grant entrance in a raspy voice. Two servants came in, bringing his robes, crest, and a brush. He slipped into the maroon robes that one of the ladies held out blushingly for him. After his clothes were all situated, he sat in a chair and allowed the women to brush his shoulder length hair out and style half of it into a topknot. His crest was fastened in place and the servants retreated back into the hall.

Zuko yawned and approached the small desk in his room, piled high with plans for the meetings that would take place today. Aang and the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribe representatives would only be present for another three days, but if Zuko was being honest, he hoped that they'd made enough progress on colonial property exchanges and fleshing out a new unified city location to possibly cut the week short.

A voice in the back of his head questioned what kind of Fire Lord would secretly wish to be rid of his allies' presence. He answered himself, one that is stressed about other upcoming meetings.

Indeed, Zuko was occupied with thoughts of how his next discussion with Mai and Ty Lee would go regarding Azula. Ever since the tense atmosphere of last Monday, he feared that the same thing would happen: the three of them would argue endlessly about his sister but nothing significant would get done. Perhaps Dr. Liu could be consulted for suggestions. Zuko was sure the doctor would be ready and willing to help.

And then there was Mai… He hadn't spoken to her since they broke up a few years ago, though he had seen her occasionally from a distance, as her Earth Kingdom duties often brought her to the palace to consult with advisors. But her sudden appearance with Ty Lee had flustered him more than he'd like to admit. They hadn't exactly ended on a good note, but even just thinking of her now caused a slight flush to creep across his cheeks. We shared some pretty good times too.

He sighed. Those thoughts can wait until this weekend when we meet. I should give my full attention to the representatives here today. They deserve it, coming from so far away.

Zuko stretched again to try and wake up and walked out of his chambers towards his favorite dining room for some breakfast.

Along the way, he spotted a few of his generals talking cheerfully with some Earth Kingdom guards. It was nice to see them finally getting along. There was so much hostility at first. Though even now, the Fire Nation was surely looked on with hatred from citizens of the other nations. Still so much work to do.

Zuko entered the dining room and sat to begin eating a heavy breakfast of porridge, fruit, rice, and bread. He had to stock up now or he'd be starving by the time mid-morning rolled around.

After a few minutes, a soldier entered the room and bowed before him. He held out a crumpled looking note, "Fire Lord Zuko, this just arrived via messenger hawk."

Zuko took the note, turned it over in his hand, and raised his eyebrow at the man, "Was there no seal?"

The man looked taken aback at the subtle hint that he was suspected of opening the Fire Lord's mail, "No, sir. It is just as I received it."

"Alright, you're dismissed."

The soldier bowed again and retreated from the room, leaving Zuko alone at the table to smooth out the crinkled yellowed paper. He was confused at first as he briefly glimpsed his own face before averting his gaze and reaching for another bite of bread, wondering if this was some kind of joke. The notice we posted about the thief? Who knew how to send a letter directly to me? Most mail from civilians is sorted out.

As he turned back to look closer, his question was answered immediately. Zuko read the familiar handwriting scorched just beneath his face on the poster. He stopped chewing as his blood turned to ice.

Lucky to be born.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he swallowed hard. Not many knew the history of that phrase.

No. There's no way. How did she get this? Maybe Dr. Liu gave it to her. And then let her burn a message into it? Maybe it's her idea of a joke. She always liked to toy with people. Or maybe it isn't her at all. Ridiculous. Zuko knew those thoughts were all ridiculous. So he settled on the one making his stomach churn.

She got out.

"Excuse me sir, there's another letter here for you. Are-are you alright, sir?" A different guard had entered the room.

Zuko felt the color drain from his face and he realized his hands were shaking as he held his sister's taunt. "Yes. Yes, I'm fine. Just leave the letter." As an afterthought he added, "and send for Ty Lee at lunchtime."

The man nodded. Zuko snatched up the other letter and felt his hope of being mistaken wither away at the sight of the mental institution's seal. He ripped it open and read it, eyes zooming back and forth across the simple note:

Fire Lord Zuko,

It is with great regret that I must inform you of your sister's disappearance from her room this morning. We sent out a primary search party to comb nearby areas with what little guard force we are equipped with.

I would have delivered this news to you in person, but felt my presence was necessary here to begin investigating how this could possibly have happened. At the end of the day, I will make my way to the palace on the ferry to further talk this through with you.

I am deeply sorry that this happened under my watch. I cannot apologize enough.

Dr. Kai Liu

Zuko sat in utter disbelief, eyes staring blankly down at the two letters in front of him. The breakfast he had eaten settled heavily in his stomach. He put his head in his hands and was surprised at how empty he felt. Shouldn't I be angry? Disappointed? Sad? Afraid? Anything? But he felt nothing, only the numbness that accompanied shock.

Mai's parting words suddenly came back to him. "Keep an eye on her."

His thoughts were bitter. I should have taken her more seriously.

He allowed himself another minute of inactivity, before rousing from his stupor and calling to the soldiers he knew were stationed just outside the door. They entered and he ordered them to send a hawk to Dr. Liu telling him to stay put, that he and Ty Lee would be making their way to the institution at the end of the day.

The rest of the morning was a blur. He was physically present at every meeting, but Zuko was hardly paying attention. He guessed that the other attendees probably noticed, because they stopped questioning him for his opinion early on and instead referred to one of Zuko's highly trusted generals. Feeling a bit guilty, he tried to contribute to the ongoing trade debates just before lunch, but couldn't articulate his thoughts well. In the end, he gave up and left the business to his general.

Sokka approached him at lunchtime, concerned. His sister and Aang had been at a different gathering that morning, more related to healing international relations and establishing a common city rather than settling lingering trade and geographical disputes.

"Everything alright?" Sokka had grown significantly since the war. His head was shaved, aside from his signature wolf tail, and a light coating of stubble spread across his jaw. Because they were in the Fire Nation, Sokka was dressed in lighter clothes than the furs usually seen on Water Tribe members, but they were still dyed blue.

Zuko blinked, the words took a second to register, "Uh, yes. Yeah, I'm fine." He didn't want to bring Azula up right now.

Sokka narrowed his blue eyes skeptically at Zuko, before perking up, "Okay, I'm gonna meet Katara and get some lunch. I've had my eye on that spicy roasted chicken since yesterday." He shook his head to keep from drooling and waved at Zuko.

Zuko couldn't help a small smile at the man's ever present appetite. He glanced out of their meeting room and sobered immediately at the sight of a woman dressed in pink at the far end of the hallway. She was fidgeting restlessly with her braid as she walked towards the Fire Lord.

The sight of a royal guard entering the boutique had nearly stopped Ty Lee's heart. She asked what it was all about, but the man didn't seem to know and insisted she come with him to the palace. She followed, mind racing with gut churning possibilities.

Now, as she approached Zuko, she again felt that heart-stopping sensation. And not the good kind that sometimes came from seeing his sister. The bad kind. The really bad kind that accompanied bad news. The Fire Lord's face was serious. His skin was paler than usual, making his scar stand out starkly. Relax. Maybe he's just telling me I can go visit Azula again. Ha. I doubt it. Oh Agni, is she dead? Why does he look so awful? I wish Mai was here, but she's gone till Friday.

"Ty Lee," Zuko smiled, a strained gesture that tugged oddly at the corners of his mouth. He put a hand around her shoulders and guided her to a chair, before shutting the door to the meeting room, leaving them alone.

She spun around, keeping her eyes locked onto Zuko at all times, "What's going on? Why did a guard pick me up from work in the middle of the day?"

Zuko sat beside her, lines of worry creasing his forehead. He hesitated. Just spit it out. She won't take it well, but she still has to know.

"Zuko, please," she took his hands in hers and looked at him, "what happened to her?"

He spoke so quietly that he wasn't convinced the words actually left his mouth, "She broke out of the institute."

Ty Lee's hands slackened their hold on Zuko's and she brought them to twist in her lap. Oh thank the spirits she's alive. She's who knows where, but she's alive.

The relief was overwhelming and she could feel her shoulders tremble as a response. Yet her heart was still heavy at the knowledge that she wouldn't be seeing Azula for a while. And she restrained a gasp at remembering one of the last things the princess had said to her.

"Doesn't it feel awful? To be so suddenly informed that things aren't what you thought?"

She rested her head in her hands. But what more could I have done? I thought things were okay. She could have told me what she was thinking, maybe I could have… What? Helped her escape? That's stupid, I wouldn't have done that. But she could have… she could have said something.

Zuko's voice was shaky when he spoke again and Ty Lee realized he was on the verge of tears, "I'm sorry I didn't let you see her before this happened. It's my fault. If I was… if I had been better to her, maybe she wouldn't have left."

She looked at him sadly, but something about seeing the Fire Lord crumpled over a table, eyes shining with unshed tears for his runaway sister, irritated her. If he cared this much all along, why didn't he do anything sooner?

Ty Lee replied without thinking. She gripped his hand again and waited until he looked her in the eyes, "It's-it's okay, but… she was getting better, Zuko. I think she really was. You should have gone to see her. Then you would have seen for yourself, you could have let her out of there. Maybe just kept watch over her here."

He stared back at her, aghast that she'd reinforced his deepest regrets. But instead of being angry, that hollowness still remained, "I know." He lowered his head, "I'm sorry."

They stayed like that for a few minutes. Zuko quietly talking to himself, voicing regrets and what ifs. Ty Lee replaying her last visit with Azula over and over in her head, finding it harder to keep from breaking down with each playback.

"What should we do?" she asked.

Zuko finally raised his head, "I'm going to see Dr. Liu after the rest of my meetings, if you want to come. He'll tell us more about what happened. As for finding her," he looked away hastily, "I don't know. She won't want to be found by any of us."

Ty Lee knew Zuko was right. Azula excelled at everything and Ty Lee guessed this would also apply to evading recapture. If she didn't want to be found, they would never find her. A weight had settled in Ty Lee's chest. I wish I could see her.

She looked up at the ceiling, tracing the gilded molding with her eyes. Randomly she smiled, a stray thought permeating the gloom, and said, "Do you think she's bending right now? Probably, right? She hasn't done it properly in almost five years."

Zuko followed Ty Lee's gaze and settled his eyes on the ceiling as well. He cleared his throat and responded in a steadier voice, "If I know her at all, that's the first thing she did."

They sat in silence, brooding over the unexpected harrowing news of the morning. Soon, a guard knocked on the door and informed Zuko that the meetings would be resuming shortly. The Fire Lord nodded and told Ty Lee he would meet her outside the palace's front entrance once his meetings were complete.

He stood, having regained his composure, and strode from the room, quickly pocketing the two letters.

Meanwhile, Ty Lee waited a few moments, asked a guard to help her send a message to Mai, and then set out for Azula's room. Upon entering, she flopped down on the untouched bed, desperate to catch a hint of the princess's perfume. When nothing but dust tickled her nose, she let a few angry tears fall freely this time, slamming a fist into the deep red silk sheets.

You idiot. You completely stupid idiot princess. Why did you leave? Why didn't you tell me?

"Doesn't it feel awful? To be so suddenly informed that things aren't what you thought?"

Her chest ached. Yes, it's awful. I hate you too.