Part 2 - all Will's POV and the missing bits from 7x10 for him - hope you like it x

Will would like to say that when he woke up that day, he had a feeling, an intuition that something wasn't right or that not hearing from Jay could've led to him being curious enough, hell, concerned enough to have made inquiries.

Prepared him at least a little for what was to follow.

There's a reason Jay's the detective in the family. Always with that intuition, that gut instinct.

Sure, WIll has it but it's different, two sides of the same coin.

Traits they both started to develop as kids. Jay the one who could step into their home after school or hear the door open bringing their father home and know.

Know they should disappear, know that they should brace themselves for the mood Jay sensed their father was in.

Know that that was the best option but also know that he couldn't leave their mom high and dry, alone.

Will would be the one for afterward. The first one to see the telltale signs of a carefully concealed wince as their mom would try and make their food, leaning against the counter a little more heavily than normal.

It was only later that Will realized how wrong it is that children assigned themselves the roles they did, even though it went unsaid. Even though they've never actually discussed it. Likely never will.

It all means Will had no clue, no intuition at all until he feels the vibration of his cell in his pocket, pulls it out and narrows his eyes at the unfamiliar number.

Maybe it's a sales call and he should leave it?

That's the moment there's a feeling in him that means he takes the call, that's when he hears Hank Voight's voice and that's when it's a good job he's leaning against a wall otherwise he doesn't know what would have happened.

There are a million questions running through his head the moment Voight tells him, to the point as always but slightly softer than Will would ever associate with Jay's boss.

It's only after when he's waiting by the doors, when he's shifting his weight from one foot to the other when he's thinking of all the questions that he didn't ask because "I'm sorry to call you out the blue like this Will but Jay's hurt and he's on his way to Med," his kid brother, that he realizes what he'd heard in Voight was fear, was concern, was worry.

It scares Will more than he could ever articulate.

The ambulance arrives after a few minutes, the sirens of the escort and the ambulance itself announcing its imminent arrival many seconds before, and as the doors open, Will watches as the gurney is lowered to the ground, sees Jay, sees Hailey jump from the ambulance and all the while stands stock-still as they rush past him and into emergency behind him.

It's probably only a matter of seconds that he stays rooted to the spot but it feels like an eternity before he shakes himself and almost has to run to catch up.

Jay's taken to Baghdad and Marcel is there, reeling out instructions as Jay lies there, blood on his head, a bullet in his shoulder.

Too still.

His flesh and blood, the only flesh and blood he has. Will aches to help but really he's thankful he can't, he doesn't think he could hold a cup of water steadily right now much less save his brother.

He notices her just within his eye line and looks to where Hailey's stood, just outside the bay, one hand covering her face, the other hovering in mid-air. Both covered in blood.

Will looks back to Jay, to Marcel and to everyone crowded around his brother, the decision made.

"Hailey?"

She jerks her attention from staring at the activity in the bay to Will and says his name, she opens her mouth a couple of times as if she wants to say something, words fail her though and Will gets it. He's seen it in countless family members and friends.

He takes a step closer to her, reaching his hand out to her shoulder. Full of a million questions in his head except now's not the right time, he doubts Hailey would be able to articulate what he needs to know anyway. He just hopes that he'll still want to know this time tomorrow.

He settles for a reassurance he's not sure he believes as the sound of the machines that Jay's hooked up to compete for attention around them.

"He's going to be okay, he's going to be okay Hailey." In his head, he challenges Jay to not prove him wrong.

Will watches Hailey as words form and then die on her lips once more before she agrees with him though she sounds as convincing as he felt as he said the words and for some reason, it gets to Will, it hits him then. The enormity of all this and he has to blink back tears that sting his eyes.

He brushes at the moisture distractedly before he notices Sharon and he says her name and that's all that's needed for Goodwin to lightly touch his arm and nod before she wraps an arm around Hailey's shoulder and leads her away.

Will turns his attention fully back to Jay, taking a step or two closer till he's in the bay staring and trying to find some way to wake up and find this is all a bad dream, trying not to get in the way.

Then Marcel calls his name and he glances at the other man who talks quickly, calmly and like Will's just some worried relative and not his co-worker, not a doctor who knows enough to realize and understand that this is bad.

"Jay is losing a lot of blood, Will. We've performed a CT, the bullet, it grazed his subscapular artery, we need to repair it so we're taking him to surgery."

Will nods, not taking his eyes from Jay until Marcel calls his name one more time and that's when he tears his attention away.

"Just do whatever you gotta do," then quietly, sounding lost, feeling lost and helpless he adds, "He's all I have."

Will's grateful Marcel doesn't respond though he thinks he sees a brief nod, instead, he turns away, calmly issues instructions and moments later Jay's on his way to surgery, Will following for as long as he can be next to him.

In the lift, he squeezes into a spot next to where Jay lies on the gurney, his hand reaching for Jay's before the lift opens and he lets go.

When the surgery begins, he watches from behind the glass or at least he tries to but then he's pushing open the door and stumbling to a set of chairs in the corridor where he hunches over, his hands raking through his hair sending as many prayers as he can muster even though believing was a thing he long since gave up on.

In these types of circumstances anyway but it's amazing or maybe it's not that dire circumstances will have you changing your mind, making any number of bargains if it means Jay makes it.

Will loses track of time, maybe it's just five minutes, maybe it's five hours when he hears footsteps.

"I'm going back in right now, I just wanted to let you know that we're still working on him, still trying to repair it."

Will nods and watches Marcel's retreating back, letting out a shaky breath before he walks toward the lift to go down to where he knows Jay's team will be waiting.

Giving them the update is hard, not being able to make promises that Jay will be okay makes the reality starker.

He stays with them, accepts their kindness, what in the end are just a bunch of platitudes except he knows they're genuine, their concern palpable but soon he can't be there anymore, he needs to be near Jay again.

He needs to be first to know even if it's bad news. Needs to know if it's just him that's left.

He sits down and this time he stares at the clock on the far wall, willing the doors to open, pushing away thoughts that are too negative, too steeped in every single fear you could imagine.

"Will?"

He looks up, "Hey Nat."

Natalie walks closer to him, "I wasn't sure whether to come but I didn't want you to be waiting alone, any news?" she asks, gesturing towards the doors to the OR.

"Still working on him," he replies as she sits on the chair next to him and they sit in silence for a little while but then it's too quiet, "You know I don't know how any of this happened, first I knew was Voight calling me telling me Jay had been hurt and was on his way in and I thought maybe he'd taken a suspect down too hard or hit his head."

The words trail off and Will shakes his head, running his hands through his hair as he hunches over again before he turns his head and adds, "Thanks for coming but I got this."

She doesn't try to disguise her disappointment at his words but WIll's grateful she masks it quickly, accepts it and settles for a small nod as she stands up, walking away before she stops and looks back.

"I know it's different now between us Will, just don't shut us out, remember you don't have to do this alone."

That's just it Will thinks, he does because if Jay's not around then isn't that what he is?

Just a little over an hour later and Will stands alone in front of Jay's bed, watching his brother, hearing the reassuring sounds of the machines, no alarms like downstairs.

"He's going to be fine Will, we repaired his artery and also there's no sign of structural damage, he's lucky."

Will keeps playing Marcel's words over and over in his head. Jay is lucky, sure but true luck would've been not being shot, not living through whatever the hell happened to him.

He walks round to the side of the bed and pulls the chair over, sits down and stares at Jay. Stares at the way his chest rises up and down, stares at the bruising scattered across his face.

He reaches his hand out to Jay's hand, resting it on top, his thumb rubbing gently.

"The only time I could get away with this is when you're unconscious," he chokes out a laugh then sobers instantly, "Remember at mom's funeral and I tried to reach for you when I could see you were barely hanging on and you just pushed me away, you were angry as hell, thought you were gonna knock me out, probably should've."

He pulls his hand away, purses his lips together and sighs heavily.

"Me and you are going to have a serious conversation when you're awake. I'm the oldest and you're going to hear me out because I can't lose you and I particularly can't lose you when I didn't even know that you were in a position where that could happen in the first place."

Will shakes his head, chewing at his bottom lip in an attempt to try and quell the emotion, stop the tears.

"Just wake up Jay, please?" He stares at Jay's face, willing an eye to crack open, willing him to be annoyed, to be angry, to be evasive, anything, predictably he's stubborn and doesn't open his eyes.

"Hey, you remember when you pushed that kid who'd been bullying the scrawny new kid and he pushed you back and you were knocked spark out and you ended up in the hospital and we were scared that dad would be mad at us and you were crying so I hugged you and I promised you I'd look after you always."

And then I didn't, then I walked away. He doesn't say that aloud. Instead, he pushes the chair back and stands up, paces up and down in the small space next to Jay's bed.

"Quit pacing, my headache is growing another headache."

Will almost doesn't hear him, thinks maybe he imagined it but he turns his attention back to the bed and Jay's staring at him, a grimace on his face that turns a little into a half smile as Will crosses the short distance back to the side of the bed murmuring a soft "Hey," to his injured brother as he does.

"Is Angela okay? And you, you look beat Will" Jay asks, his expression changing to one of concern.

"Angela? Who's Angela?" Will figures it must be the lady who has a cop outside her room and he's so aware that he knows half the story but he's also so aware that this is so typically Jay to worry about everyone else the moment he wakes so he shakes his head "And me? I look beat? Jesus Jay, screw anyone else, how are you feeling?"

Jay's face darkens for a moment then instantly it changes and he gives Will this look that's so much like teenage Jay being snarky as hell, being so done with how lame his brother that the tears that start to fall down Will's face a little free-er are maybe not from fear so much now then Jay hitches a breath and his face pales as his features screw up with pain so Will mutters something about increasing the medication but just as he's about to do it, one of the doctors walks in so Will takes a step back and away from the bed, watching as they take care of Jay, as they check up on him.

"I'm okay, man, go and get some rest, call Voight, Hailey, tell them that I'm okay and then we can talk about when I can get the hell outta here."

Will raises a skeptical eyebrow at that and then rolls his eyes at Jay, has to stop himself from saying 'you nearly weren't' and 'don't even try it asshole', has to stop the tiredness and the relief he's feeling that Jay despite looking like crap he's still so typically Jay. turning into anger and frustration.

There's time for all that, hopefully, none of it to be shown in front of Jay at least until it's simmered because if it doesn't if he doesn't calm then he knows how it goes, how it'll drive them apart, how it'll mean Jay won't reach out.

So he acquiesces and manages a smile and a nod and manages to leave the room even though it's the last thing he wants to do right now.

It's just Hailey in the waiting area.

The sigh of relief, the watery smile as Will tells her Jay's awake almost takes WIll under again.

He rights himself as quickly as Hailey does though and he thinks she's changed her clothes, the bag at her feet confirming it and he takes it from her and they walk together to the break room where he places it in the corner telling one of the nurses that's what he's done as they leave.

They walk together to the lift in silence and Will tries to clear his mind, tries not to ask, he tries but he can't hold it down and as they enter the lift and he presses the button to take them to Jay, he can't stop the emotion. the questions, he'd tried to keep at bay from spilling over.

"What happened to him? Why did I find out only when he was on his way here? I'm his next of kin, I'm his only next of kin, I had a right to know, he nearly died," he shakes his head and like he's only just figuring it out for the first time he repeats it, his voice breaking, "he nearly died Hailey."

Hailey exhales, reaches out a tentative hand to him but he steps away and she nods as though she expected it.

The lift announces they're on the floor where Jay is and they step out together but neither moves.

"We had to keep it inhouse but you're right, we should've told you sooner, we were just so focused on finding him and when we did, he was beaten up but that was it and then." Hailey looks away, to the ground.

"This Angela, was it her, who shot him I mean?"

Hailey's look of surprise followed by her silence tells Will all he needs to know and he looks away then back to Hailey feeling all the anger seep away.

Maybe it'll come back, he banks on it coming back or maybe it'll be more frustration and fear because Will knows Jay will never change and this quiet certainty that this won't be the last time his head is filled with a thousand and one emotions, every single one of them valid feels overwhelming.

"The first question he asked was if she was okay."

Will thinks Hailey's expression, the flicker of a smile, the fondness, the total lack of surprise that of course, Jay would be more worried about someone else, even if that someone else was why he's lying in a hospital bed after life-saving surgery is a mirror image of how he feels, his own expression right now.

"Jay Halstead, right?"

He thinks their smiles are the first true smiles they've exchanged since Jay came in, the first one that didn't feel like it could easily change to a frown or turn so quickly into tears.

"Okay, let's let you go see him, right?"

He watches them for a short time, Jay's bed has been raised now and he's sitting up, there's an easy rapport between them borne of years of being partners and Will feels calmer now.

He feels like he can walk away and not worry that he'll get a call to say something different. Not today anyway.

This wasn't the final memory today, the last memory which would have left every other memory scattered and forgotten, this wasn't the end of everything or the end of hope that one day they'll talk about everything, that one day they'll be able to put everything behind them and only look forward.

And at least now the tears which he doesn't attempt to stop at all now are good tears, tired tears, relieved tears.

Grateful tears.