The doctors had allowed Steve to leave the hospital a few weeks later. His condition hasn't changed, but they found it better that he should be somewhere familiar. His condition was still worsening, but since the doctors still haven't found anything to help him, it would be better if he was somewhere he actually wanted to be.

Bucky helped Steve off the bed, slinging his arm over his shoulder and helping him out of the hospital. Steve was still barely capable of walking, so most of his weight was on Bucky.

"Hang in there, pal," Bucky grunted as he lifted the semi-conscious Steve back to his feet.

It took a while, but after about an hour, they made it back to the apartment that they shared. It was about 7 PM, so Bucky insisted that both of them get some sleep. Of course, Steve instantly fell into unconscious not even a few seconds later, so that was easy.

Bucky had pulled a blanket onto the floor into the living room, along with another one and then a pillow. Steve had insisted he would sleep on the couch, so Bucky decided that he needed to watch him, in case he started seizing again.

Though, both of them had fallen asleep, but Bucky's wasn't peaceful.

It was far from peaceful.

The Winter Soldier walked into the dark room. Captain America, his mission, stood a few feet in front of him, shield attached to his arm. Bucky's heart ached watching this, as he knew how much Steve was trying to knock some sense back into him. But this wasn't just a flashback..it was a nightmare, since he noticed the changes to it.

The Winter Soldier only stood there for a few moments, and his gaze had softened somewhat while staring at the man in front of him. It hardened quickly, and he charged, swinging his metal arm to collide with Steve's shield with a large bang. Bucky screamed for it to stop, before Steve got hurt, but he was pretty much forgotten about in the Winter Soldier's tortured mind. HIS tortured mind.

Steve dodged his attacks pretty well, and at a point he managed to knock the soldier off his feet. But it didn't last long, as the Winter Soldier had almost instantly jumped back into attacking him. Multiple times, Steve had attempted to reach Bucky, but it failed miserably.

"Bucky! B-Bucky, please-" the shouts were hoarse, not unlike Steve's voice when he was capable of fighting like he was. It confused him, dazing, even.

The Winter Soldier paused, and then slammed his metal fist into Steve's face, sending him backward onto the floor.

"STOP!" Bucky screamed inside the nightmare desperately. He could already begin to see the blood flowing from Steve's nose.

Another voice, this time weaker, and he could hear wet coughs in between.

"Buck- Buck, please…"

The Winter Soldier paused again, looking around the room to see if anyone else was there, or had been there, but he found that there wasn't.

Another punch to Steve's face, then one to his ribs.

"B-Buc-" the voice was cut off by ragged breathing.

Bucky suddenly realized what was happening, and screamed to be let out of this horrid nightmare. This one, he wouldn't recover from.

Not for a long time.

Bucky snapped back to his senses. He let out a gut-wrenching sob when he saw Steve on the floor, his metal arm around his neck. Bruises covered his face, and he had his arm on his abdomen.

He ripped his metal arm away from Steve's neck, letting himself drop to his knees and crawl to his friend's side, lifting him somewhat upright. A weak groan escaped Steve's lips as he took repeated, heaving breaths. His eyes were only barely open.

"N-N-No...I-I'm s-sorry," Bucky stuttered, tears flowing down his face.

"Bucky.." Steve breathed. His head lolled to the side, blood dripping from his mouth.

Despite the horrid guilt rising inside him, he cupped Steve's face with his hands, lowering his forehead onto his and crying. He didn't care how weak he looked, because he was. For letting himself get trapped in a stupid nightmare that ended up hurting his best friend. Again.

"I-I gotta get you to a h-hospital," Bucky stood up, trying to get Steve to his feet, but he was pretty much dead weight despite being conscious. His feet buckled and he fell to the floor gasping.

"Come on, Steve..You- You gotta get up," He tried to lift his friend again, but he let out a quiet groan and fell to the floor, but this time Bucky caught him, easing them both down to the floor in a sitting position. Bucky instantly eased Steve into his lap, cradling his head while repeatedly sobbing in complete agony.

"Steve, please.." He pleaded, letting his forehead fall onto Steve's horribly bruised one.

Another loud, wheezing breath escaped Steve. His eyes slowly blinked open to look up at his horribly distressed friend. It reminded Bucky of when Steve had asthma, though he was a lot smaller.

"Buck.." he breathed weakly. He took another heaving breath, coughed, and then spoke again. "I'm not- I can't-" He gasped painfully, his grip on his abdomen tightening. His body jerked up, but Bucky instantly wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into an embrace. He could feel Steve collapse against him.

"I'm so sorry.." Bucky muttered.

"It-It's okay.." Steve breathed. "It's-" He seized slightly, but it stopped quicker than Bucky had expected.

Steve's head lolled to the side and he took another heaving breath. Bucky knew that Steve wouldn't survive this, as his system definitely shouldn't even be able to fight the virus at this point, now that he weakened him like this. He could already tell Steve was starting to succumb to it.

Steve coughed violently, his chest heaving.

Despite knowing what Steve's fate would be, Bucky was beginning to deny that this was happening.

"P-please don't leave me, Steve...I-I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to-" Bucky was cut off by Steve's shaky hand reaching up and brushing against his face. Bucky instantly grabbed it.

Steve shuddered again, a weaker breath emitting from his nose.

Bucky let go of Steve's hand, cradling his head against his chest. He allowed more gut-wrenched sobs to escape as he leaned over his dying friend's body.

Why couldn't this have been him?

Why is it always Steve?

"I don't want you to die.." His voice cracked.

Steve opened his eyes slightly, "It's okay.." His voice was soft, but still extremely weak.

"N-No, it's not.." Bucky shook his head.

Steve didn't reply, but his hand shakily moved up and brushed Bucky's cheek, before falling limply back at his side.

"It'll…" Steve took a wheezing breath. "be okay.."

Bucky didn't respond. He only shook his head in denial that Steve was going to actually die. In his arms. From his doing.

It's all my fault..

God DAMN IT, why did it have to be Steve?

Steve let his head fall against Bucky's chest, his breathing starting to become even more unstable as he struggled to pull in oxygen. Bucky's crying didn't subside at all. He picked up Steve's hand, brushing it with his thumb.

Steve gave a weak smile and huffed out one last breath before his body went limp, and Bucky just stared at him, while letting out hiccuping sobs.

He pulled Steve's lifeless body against his own and cried.