Why? Chapter 2: Why Is The Question?, a twilight fanfic

A/N: Just a reminder that each part was dedicated to someone different. 1st Bella's Pov - twilightromance4ever, 2nd Jasper's Pov - TwiFan99, 3rd Carlisle's Pov - jenn72stamper xx Alexis

Different Oh Yeah! Cont

Jasper

There was a moment of nothin' after Bella left and then chaos, everyone bombarded me with all the emotion inside of them and I ran, there was no way I could cope with that kind of tsunami. It was monumental and would have brought me to my knees, so let them stew, I was stayin' as far away as possible, at least tonight and I didn't care for once how they felt about that, even Alice.

I had so much to think about and I needed to do that away from everyone, so took off to Canada, where I sat at the top of a mountain, perched on the top like a large bird of prey surveyin' the landscape below. It was so peaceful here and freein', nobody's emotions but mine.

I stayed there all night just bein', I knew that I couldn't go back to how it was before, so changes were goin' to be made and if they didn't like it fine, Alice and I would leave, she might not like it but I know she would leave for me, especially now. So with my decision made I set off back to Forks, headin' for Bella's first of all.

I knew some of the others had been to see Bella, I could smell their scent, so I was Bella's next visitor, I told her I had yet to return to the house and decided to come and thank her first. That there was a lot of residual anger still in me and she understood completely. About my mate, family, coven even, failin' me and that without Bella's interference they would have gone right on for well, eternity.

Also how I was torn between orderin' Alice to leave with me and go to my brother's, but how I felt like stayin' and watchin' them struggle, make them pay through the nose, (pun intended) for takin' me for granted. Especially the way Edward and Alice had, and for not even noticin', that would be the other four.

She suggested I stay, but to organise a trip to see Peter and Charlotte, with no shoppin' involved. She also thought maybe I ought to say 'No' more often. That Alice needs to stop interferin' with all her small visions and I needed to put my foot down and take control of our relationship now. She's had it her own way for far too many years.

"You can only be thankful for her finding you and bringing you to Carlisle for so long, Jasper. She's done little else for you, it seems, partnerships are supposed to be fifty/fifty! I'm just saying, Oh and why do you hide your accent might I ask?" She said to me and I looked down and away at that comment,

"Alice!" we both said at the same time,

"Yes, time for you to step up to the plate, my friend or stay downtrodden forever, that's not the real you is it? While you're at it I'd veto her dressing you too!" She said holdin' up her hands and makin' a face at my eighties British preppie school outfit, I'd never changed before I ran yesterday.

I laughed so loudly and set her off, the emotions were bouncin' back and forward between us until I was gaspin' for an unneeded breath,

"Thanks, Darlin' I really needed that, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard!" I told her still sniggerin'. she waved me away sayin',

"You've stalled long enough laughing boy, time to face the family, I've prepped four of them for you, but you're on your own with Alice and Edward, sorry! Make her wait till last okay?" I nodded, motioned as if tipping my Stetson to her and left.

As I neared the house I saw Rose and Emmett waitin' at the edge of the forest, where it met the well-kept lawn. I slowed to a walk and they both looked at me with barely concealed shame, sorrow, guilt and regret,

"Oh, Jazzman, I don't know how to start to try and fix this. All these years we let them berate you, blame you for your thoughts, which it turns out weren't yours but ours! How can you ever forgive us for being so ignorant and selfish?" Emmett pleaded,

"Bella said we should try to guard our emotions like we do our thoughts from Edward. Would that help?" Rose asked quietly,

I knew she was rememberin' every time she had been upset, angry, downright depressed over the years. Her sulkin' and tantrums had definitely taken their toll on me.

"Some, yeah! But I just need you to remember, goin' to your rooms don't stop me feelin' your emotions. Bella's right I need to be out of the house more, especially at night." I answered slowly.

"Oh! Oh! There's a cottage on the grounds! We could fix that up for the two of you, I need to speak to Esme, but that would help wouldn't it?" Rose questioned me with hope in her voice, she was afraid I'd want to leave.

"Yeah, that would be real good, Rose darlin', gettin' away from everyone now and then will help, especially Emoward! But will Alice agree?" I quizzed,

"She will if she knows what's good for her!" was her adamant reply.

I was happy with that and shook Emmett's hand and hugged Rose to let them know we were goin' to be okay. After all, I could have told them, but I choose not to, life's a two-way street and all that. Two down, four to go, Esme like Rose and Em didn't really know or understand, but the other three now that was a different story.

As I reached the house Alice was waiting and I went to walk past her not ready for this just yet.

"Jazzie?" she whimpered,

"Not now Alice," I said keeping walking,

"But I need ..." she started to say.

I rounded on her then, "You need Alice? When did this become about you? What about what I needed from you, my mate? I said not now and stop callin' me Jazzie, I hate it!"

She gasped, I knew she was havin' a vision and for the first time ever I just walked away. Bella was right I have to make a stand, so I entered the house and headed for our room. Started packin' everythin', well except those shit clothes. Esme hovered in the doorway,

"Rose mentioned the cottage, it's a bit of a mess. Nothing a couple of days won't fix, but I don't think Alice will like roughing it" she said quietly.

"Alice will do as she's told for once Esme, but thank you. I'll see to the renovations myself, I don't need a closet bigger than the front room, no one does! Oh and I hate pink, did you know that?" I said tonelessly and she shook her head sadly.

"I'm so sorry Jasper, for not seeing, not even thinking it was possible. I failed you, we all did and for that, I can only beg your forgiveness! I give you my solemn oath to do better and take all my children's feelings into account for once" she whispered before leaving.

There was a tap on the door as I picked up the last bag and Carlisle stuck his head around the door, "Could I talk to you son? If you'd like to come to my study before you leave for the cottage" he said in a strained voice. Did he really think I'd make it that easy for him?

"Too proud to apologise in public Carlisle? Or don't you want the others to know that you knew and ignored it? That we had a conversation when I arrived, you, me and Edward! He read my mind and told you I felt everyone's feelin's as my own and to many could swamp me and make me snap! That the more intense the feelin' the harder it was for me?" I said lookin' him in the eye and for once I was Jasper Whitlock, his equal, another coven leader.

We both heard Esme's gasped "How could you do that Carlisle?", Edward's expletive and Alice's sob! But the unexpected

"What the Fuck?" from Emmett and the,

"That's what we expect from Edward, nasty childish pettiness! But from you Carlisle!" spat Rose, that shook him to his core.

That was enough for me and I picked up our stuff and headed to the door, barely hearing' the whispered "I am truly sorry, I disregarded your needs for the others! I put them all before you in everything, especially him" from Carlisle.

I nodded and carried on, but as I reached the landin' I said, "Think carefully Edward. How you deal with this means more than just our relationship! This could lose you your mate, she's human and can still walk away, but you cannot! Is your pride worth that much? The choice is yours".

As I left the house Rose hugged me and Esme smiled wanly. Alice was still standin' outside and as I drew level she fell into step beside me. Then she took some of the bags off of me and we walked at a human pace to the cottage in silence. This would be the hardest conversation, but the most important, but by her silence, I realised she too knew this. I took a deep unneeded breath and said, "Alice? Things have got to change. I can't and won't put up with the way it was previously!"

Before I could continue she replied, "I know, we will do it your way from now on. I was wrong and selfish, but please believe me when I say, I never meant to hurt you. Your my mate, my rock and I failed you. I'll never forgive myself for that!" That and her feelin's were all I needed to know we were headin' down the right road now, so I pulled her close and accepted her feelin's of love and hope and let them wash over me.

Is Different Wrong?

Carlisle

This as they say had been the weekend from hell! First I, we were taken to task by a seventeen-year-old human girl. Called out for being arrogant, rude, condescending and every other synonym in the book. Esme, Rose and Emmett were beyond horrified when they were made aware of their faux pas, one I could have corrected many times, but did not.

Edward, Alice and I were shown up for the cruel, unfeeling selfish vampires we were. Alice, of course, is devastated, she knew and pushed it from her mind as unimportant to her! However, he's her mate and it should have been the most important thing to her. Really, having no memory of being human has done her no favours and me, it seems, compounded it.

Therefore, I've failed them all and I feel small, I feel petty, damn I feel like my father! It was his way or no way at all and I have become him! Once Bella left, chaos descended, Jasper took it for one minute and fled leaving us even more guilty than before. I spend the night soothing and comforting Esme, convincing her all would be well.

But I wasn't so sure, I had hidden so much over the years and I didn't think my dear wife would be very happy if she ever found out. Yes, if she found out, would I tell her myself? Dare I be that honest? I know I should, but I'm not sure I can! Edward took off to his room the minute Jasper left. Acting as if t had nothing to do with him, the stupid boy!

His mate, just shown him up to be a small-minded spoilt brat and he still didn't see it would affect him more than the rest of us. Edward just saw it as a problem between him and Jasper. He had much to learn about woman, even reading their thoughts made him learn nothing! Bella was right; listening to teenager's minds day in and day out was a total waste of time.

Nothing of importance could ever be learned there. Why did I listen to Alice and let them start this stupidity of going to school? Because it fitted in with my picture-perfect idea of a family. Nevertheless, we're not, we're a bunch of selfish vampires playing house and failing at it miserably. How many times have I chastised them for their thoughts to protect Edward?

How many times did I tell them to make up their minds to protect Alice from a vampire migraine? Not to fight or swear to protect Esme's sense of decorum. To be more compassionate in their dealings with Rose on certain subjects! However, not once did I ask them to control their emotions or reign in their lusts, blood or sex to protect Jasper!

What kind of man am I? What makes me think I'm capable of being a father when I clearly ignored one of them, ignored his needs? His which were so much more important than all the rest. Then as the years passed I let Edward convince me to censure him for his thoughts, thoughts that were more ours than his own! Why? Oh, I know why, because I never really saw him as a son, my son.

Edward and Alice were the worst making Jasper's life miserable, censuring his thoughts and his decisions all the time and we wondered why he was quiet and stayed separate most of the time. I am beyond disgusted with myself! He stays only for Alice and if he ever had any respect for me, it's long gone and I don't blame him one little bit.

I couldn't find it in myself to be fair or honest. So much for the compassionate Dr Cullen, I'm a hypocrite! I don't even have a decent excuse, it wasn't fear like Edward or embarrassment like Alice! No, it was plain ignorance, I saw him as my son-in-law, not my son and therefore not my problem! Yet Bella was right he has never slipped, unlike Emmett and Esme, but still, that wasn't enough for me!

Esme has decided we will go to Bella's and apologise. She is not the one who deserves our apologies but I will comply.

"What do we say? How can we make it up to him? Will he ever forgive us?" Esme blurted out close to tears, she was so beyond upset and this was my fault.

"Just tell him you were wrong, that you had never even considered how your emotions really affected him. That you wished you'd have been more considerate and you will never do it again. That's all you can do, Oh and maybe build them a place of their own away from everyone else, so he can get some relief" Bella suggested and Esme looked really pleased and I thanked the young girl for that,

"Alice is beside herself, she feels that she failed her mate!" I said now to Bella, just looking for something to say,

"She did! She of all of you should have known! Alice needs to think of someone else besides herself for a change, this will do her the world of good, eventually" Bella fairly spat back and Esme flinched slightly, I was doomed when Esme found out, I could see it clearly.

"How did you get to be so wise and grown up Bella? Esme asked, she laughed and said,

"Esme, look around you, do you think Charlie runs this house? I've been the grown-up since I was about seven years old. I looked after Renee, not the other way round!" Esme frowned at this bit of information, which Edward obviously didn't deem important enough to pass on to her, just me in passing and I to had ignored it.

"My mother is the perpetual woman/child, the female Peter Pan as it were; she has never grown up, ever!" Bella said with a little hurt in her voice. She had needed Esme's counsel and Edward failed her by saying nothing, his hole just got deeper,

"Well I'll make you a deal Bella when you're at our house I will mother you and let you be the child, would that be okay dear?" Esme queried and I smiled as Bella nodded quite choked up at the thought.

As we left, I could smell Edward's scent strongly. He had been here last night but made to move to repair the damage with his mate. I really have failed as a parent; he should have been grovelling at her feet! But then I still haven't come clean to my mate, so maybe it's a learned thing after all! I know it's all going to blow up in my face soon and I'm powerless to stop it. Maybe I don't want to; maybe it needs to be set free!

I heard as Jasper approached the house, then he was met by Rose and Emmett and by the conversation that followed, Rose and Emmett had visited Bella too. Everyone except Alice and Edward had spoken to her, even Jasper himself. She was becoming a vampire therapist, the poor girl! But maybe not, she's insightful and extremely observant. I fear Edward has not seen this or ignored it, dismissed it because she's human.

Rose is being especially contrite as her mood swings and rages must have been hell for an empath and again I feel shame. Why had we never seen his need for alone time, ignorance and blind selfishness that's why?

"Oh! Oh! There's a cottage on the grounds! We could fix that up for the two of you, I need to speak to Esme, but that would help wouldn't it?" Rose questioned Jasper and I could hear the hope in her voice, she was afraid he would want to leave, Rose really saw him as her twin brother.

"Yeah, that would be real good, Rose darlin', gettin' away from everyone now and then will help, especially Emoward! But will Alice agree?" Jasper quizzed her, I heard Edward's hiss from here he too was listening.

Jasper's accent was much thicker than normal, I wondered if Bella told him to be himself, despite us all. Yes, there was another thing he had, had to do to fit in and we expected it.

"She will if she knows what's good for her!" was Rose's adamant reply.

Alice would find she would not get away with half her behaviour from now on. Already things were changing, sides were being taken and if something didn't give, only Edward and I would be left, here on the wrong side! Even Bella was firmly on Jasper's side and she barely knew him, but saw what she felt was an injustice and refused to let it lie! Why could I not have done that?

The man I had become was not a very nice person. I put up this 'Hail fellow well met', a front that was a lie. I wanted everyone to be like me and damn the consequences. Yes, I truly was my father! Instead of praising Jasper for changing his way of life and leaving his terrible past behind him. I held it against him as if it was against me personally!

I disliked his family, yet they were good people who like him had changed their ways. However, because they held onto their diet, I thought them below me! This whole debacle wasn't just showing how unjustly Jasper was treated, but what an arrogant, small-minded person I'd become. A philosophy I hade passed on to Edward and thankfully only him!

I knew Alice was outside pacing back and forward waiting to talk to Jasper. I doubt she heard any of what was being said, too wrapped up in her own wants and needs,

"Jazzie?" she whimpered as he finally made it to the house,

"Not now Alice," Jasper said and I heard him keep walking past her,

"But I need ..." she started to say and I heard the gravel under his feet crush as he rounded on her,

"You need Alice? When did this become about you? What about what I needed from you, my mate? I said not now and stop callin' me Jazzie! I hate it!" he said angrily and that was the first time any of us had heard him raise his voice to her.

She gasped, we all knew she was havin' a vision and for the first time ever I heard Jasper just walked away. He entered the house and headed for their room, more like Alice's room. Jasper started packing although it didn't sound like much. Esme I sensed, hovered in the doorway,

"Rose mentioned the cottage; it's a bit of a mess. Nothing a couple of days won't fix, but I don't think Alice will like roughing it," she said quietly to Jasper, almost timidly and I blamed myself for her feeling like that.

"Alice will do as she's told for once Esme, but thank you. I'll see to the renovations myself, I don't need a closet bigger than the front room, no one does! Oh, and I hate pink, did you know that?" he said tonelessly and she shook her head barely holding back a sob.

Now it was my turn, I wanted to have a long discussion with him. I have much to atone for, much to apologise for but I should have known this would not be being done on my terms. I was still being my most arrogant self and this was not the time.

"Could I talk to you son? If you'd like to come to my study before you leave for the cottage," I said in a strained voice. Did I really think he'd make it that easy for me?

"Too proud to apologise in public Carlisle? Or don't you want the others to know that you knew and ignored it? That we had a conversation when I arrived, you, me and Edward! He read my mind and told you I felt everyone's feelin's as my own and too many could swamp me and make me snap! That the more intense the feelin' the harder it was for me?" he said looking me in the eye and for once, I was not his coven leader but his equal, just another coven leader, who was lacking badly. We both heard Esme's gasped,

"How could you do that Carlisle?" Edward's expletive and Alice's sob! But the unexpected

"What the Fuck?" from Emmett and the,

"That's what we expect from Edward, nasty childish pettiness! But from you Carlisle!" spat Rose, that shook me to my core. Jasper then headed to the door, barely hearing my whispered,

"I am truly sorry; I disregarded your needs for the others! I put them all before you in everything, especially him"

He nodded and carried on, but as he reached the landing, I heard him say,

"Think carefully Edward. How you deal with this means more than just our relationship! This could lose you your mate, she's human and can still walk away, but you cannot! Is your pride worth that much? The choice is yours"

I watched him from the landing window, as he left the house. Rose hugged him and Esme smiled wanly. Alice was still standin' outside and as Jasper drew level, she fell into step beside him. Then she took some of the bags off of him and they walked at a human pace to the cottage in silence.

I drew in a deep breath and announced,

"Would you all meet me in the dining room? I have much to discuss and a few apologies to make! That means you especially Edward; it's time I actually took control of this family before you destroy us all!"

That garnered a few gasps, including him. Rose was chomping at the bit to say her piece and I motioned her to sit.

"You'll get your chance Rose, just let me speak first. Jasper is quite correct Alice, Edward and I knew how much he struggled with other vampire's motions! Especially rage, bloodlust and depression and yes, we said nothing, did nothing to help him. I have no excuse, no reasoning for this. I disrespected him at every turn and it was a conscious decision, I now fully admit that.

He has done nothing to us to warrant my behaviour. In fact, he has saved us from catastrophe many times, when Edward and Alice were allowed free rein. Yet I held his past against him, I never once tried to see anything he said from his point of view. Then when Edward started his campaign of dislike due to his jealousy, I joined in willingly!

Even his own mate is not blameless, her nitpicking his every decision and accepting Edward skewed view of what he thought was wrong! We have much to atone for and it starts today. I am naming Jasper my second in command, if anything ever happens to me, he will lead this coven and family" I said and knew Edward would be unable to stop himself interrupting.

"I should be next, I am your firstborn!" he yelled,

"Tell me, Edward, how many battles have you fought? How many vampires have you killed? How many armies have you led? How many covens have you already led? Without reading someone else's mind how would you cope? You don't have the requirements to lead and unless you change you never will!" I said firmly, there would be no more discussion on this matter.

"Seconded, he's the best man for the job and I would have followed his lead anyway, before Edward's!" Emmett said for once very serious,

"Why?" was all Edward asked and then huffed as he read Emmett mind,

"He's a man, you're a boy! He's a soldier, you're a schoolboy! He thinks first, you jump in with both feet, should I go on?" Emmett said gravely and again I was ashamed, they all saw it, Jasper was a born leader.

"Yes, if you had been treated as badly as we have all been made to treat Jasper. What would you have done, Edward? I'll tell you you'd have whined and sulked and moaned constantly. Told the world how badly you were treated. What did Jasper do? Nothing, for Alice he took it like a man!" Rose sneered at him while staring me down,

Her forgiveness might be a long way off and it was no more than I deserved. My mate and wife had yet to say anything and that was most telling. I knew she thought it was all too little much too late! Emmett was at least taking my changes at face value. Edward was so angry with me and I shook my head, this was the least of his worries. If he didn't start to act like a grown-up Bella would kick his ass to the kerb!

His future would be bleak and the possibility of him walking into a pyre of his own making because he couldn't accept she was more intelligent than him, was very high. This had nothing what so ever to do with their species, but the fact she was already way more mature than him and thought before she spoke! His ability to read minds was actually a hindrance to his growth as a man and vampire.

"Now Edward, this is an order, not a request. You will sit down with the three women in this family and listen to them. You will listen with your ears, not your mind. You will then take on board everything they tell you and then you will go and apologise to your mate!

Acting like a child while she is still one herself will work for now but in thirty years from now! You have to change or die when she leaves you, I've seen it happen! Your window is very small she is so much more advanced than you, Alice, Rose and Emmett already. Don't be a fool Edward fix this now and accept she is actually your better half already!" I said sincerely praying he would actually listen.

"Now, if you are all satisfied I need to speak to Esme and accept whatever punishment she deems fit for me," I say, seeing both Edward and Emmett's surprise. Rose smirks and nods, she will have her say later no doubt!

Well a month has passed and I agree with Jasper, I hate pink! I was relegated to their old room and damn it's horrendous! Esme has made me spend every night alone in here, no hiding in my office. I have spoken several times to Jasper and he is very forgiving, which of course made me feel worse. Maybe that was his plan, to be the better man.

Alice has had her visions curtailed to only important and life-threatening, she still has them we just don't want or need to know. Everyone's opinion is sought before decisions are made and one major one will occur, after Forks no more High School. College yes, if they want otherwise no more. It has hindered them all instead of helping.

Vampire life is discussed more, especially with Bella; she needs to know what is ahead of her. Edward tried to stop us but he was basically ignored by everyone. Rose was also told to stop trying to push her moral stance on Bella, this is not nineteen thirty-six and life is different for women now. Alice was slapped down by Bella too when she tried to tell her what to wear and give her a million makeovers.

"Alice, this is who I am and this is who Edward was attracted to, not some Barbie doll. I will pick my own clothes and if I wish to wear makeup I will!" was all she said and Esme backed her up.

Alice says there will be a thunderstorm tonight and we are going to play baseball. That will be nice and is always fun for us as a family. Bella will be joining us as the second umpire to Esme, she won't see much but should enjoy the happiness Jasper always spreads around, he really loves the game. So, this was my last day of punishment and I will be returning to my mate's side this evening after the game.

I am extremely happy with the way things are going and life looks good for us at the moment. I am a happier man and proof that we can change if we want to. We can learn, again if we want to and hopefully now I'll be a better role model for Edward. Because he really needs one now. He is struggling with his old-fashioned views and Bella is rebelling against his overly controlling nature.

"It's time!" Alice says and we head out for a fun evening, what could possibly go wrong ...!