Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because both Harry Potter and Tokyo Ghoul belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.

Word Count: 828

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #346
Submitted by: Quatermass
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To whom it may concern,

In your folly, you do not know what your letter has unleashed. My ward and little brother is already wed, to noted author Sen Takatsuki. She may be what you call a Muggle, but she is rather...protective of Harry.

I also find it strange that you would have anything to do with him, given the mess he left the last time he was in Britain. Rest assured, he will be causing even more of a mess this time around. I would apologise, but that would be most insincere, as you brought this upon yourselves.

Yours sincerely,

Special Class Investigator Kishou Arima of the Commission for Countering Ghouls

To the inbred, braindead morons of Magical Britain,

Oh my actual God, you really ARE serious! I'm laughing as I write this letter, albeit in scorn and contempt. I mean, I do write some stupid protagonists in a few of my horror stories, and I get given shit by the critics, but you prove that truth is stranger, and dumber, than fiction!

Well, let me put it this way. Harry is MINE. Not yours. YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM. We wed a few years after our last, rather eventful, trip to not-so-Merry Old England. He's so delectable and yummy, I could just eat him up, and I am NOT sharing, let alone giving him up to whatever inbred, braindead tart you have lined up...well, unless it was that Hermione girl.

Now, you're wondering, what exactly can a Muggle woman do? Hmmm...you'd be surprised~. So, do the smart thing for a change. Otherwise, I will eat you alive in the eyes of the law.

Hugs and kisses,

Sen Takatsuki

Lilith B Crawford was in a good mood as she strode into the office of the Department of Regulation of Magical Marriages, only to find that mood swiftly evaporating when she saw all the bodies...well, parts of them strewn around the office. And then, she heard a lilting voice. "By the way, you dropped these."

Crawford turned to face what looked like a child wrapped in bandages with a tattered, hooded dress over that (in truth, she was just a short adult dressed childishly), holding something in her hands. "...And what's that?" Crawford asked, wondering why it hurt to breathe all of a sudden, and why she could see a faint red glow in one of the dark eye holes of the bandaged face.

"Your ribs," the girl said, dropping bloody shards of bone onto the floor. Soon, Crawford dropped with them, unable to even scream in agony.

"Now...I said I WOULD eat you alive in the eyes of the law," the girl said, as a grotesque mass of flesh began to form around her. Her voice began warping and flanging. "I suppose cannibalism DOES count in the eyes of the law as eating you alive."

"Gh...Gh...Gh..." Crawford gasped, trying to say what this creature was through the pain of being torn open, a number of ribs removed, and the fear of what this thing was. It soon transformed into a massive, hulking thing on four, grotesquely owl-like limbs, its face eldritch and elongated, with a single eye in the middle, with a red iris on black sclera.

"The word you're looking for is Ghoul," the monster crooned. "And bitch, I EAT people..."

Lilith B Crawford didn't know it, but she just had to annoy one of the most powerful Ghouls in the world. Eto Yoshimura, better known to the human race in general as the horror author Sen Takatsuki, as well as being the infamous One-Eyed Owl, and, most importantly to this situation, the loving wife of Harry Arima. And when Eto thought something was hers, and someone tried to take it away from her...well, the results speak for themselves...

"...Ugh, this is gonna repeat on me, I just know it..."

Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Quatermass: Okay, well, yet another shameless plug letter, or rather, multiple ones, based on my new "Tokyo Ghoul" crossover "Janus". Incidentally, Sakura Lisel, please change any of Eto's dialogue marked with [b] and [i] wth bold and italics, to showcase her transformation.