Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because both Harry Potter and Guardians of the Galaxy and Captain Marvel belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.

Word Count: 506

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #351
Submitted By: Architeuthis
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To A Bunch of Self-Important Idiots,

Meet my flerken Ginger. She ate your post owl, so Master Kruggar suggested using her to deliver the response to your insane letter and equally demented "request."

I mean, seriously? I haven't lived on Earth since Master Kruggar took me in when I was six years old. Aunt Tuny and Uncle Vernon left me outside one winter night, and Master Kruggar decided to take me with him. I still remember him telling me that it was foolish of my relatives to get mad at me for turning my teacher's hair blue. I was simply much too young to be able to control my magic.

Master Kruggar eventually made me his apprentice, and I also joined his crew as one of the Ravagers. That means I'm a space pirate and a sorcerer and a lot cooler than any of you idiots could hope to be. I've visited countless worlds over the past 15 or so years – and you expect me to give that up and spend the rest of my life in one teeny-tiny enclave on an itty-bitty island on some backwater planet? Does the phrase "Not happening!" mean anything to you people?

You guys are so backwards you haven't even figured out how to safely use magic around technology. I'll give you a hint; it involves crystals and runes, and not those dumb sticks you like to wave around.

As for marrying Jenny Weasel or whoever, absolutely not! Why the flark would I want to marry somebody I don't know, much less have kids with her?! Fixing your population problem is not part of my job description.

Don't send any more post owls. Ginger will only eat them, and you'll annoy the rest of us. Trust me when I say you don't want the Ravagers mad at you.

Harry Potter

Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Architeuthis: Crossover of Harry Potter, Guardians of the Galaxy, and Captain Marvel.

Kruggar was the snaky sorcerer briefly seen in one of the post-credits scenes of "Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2". In case you haven't seen "Captain Marvel", a flerken is an alien that looks exactly like a housecat – but is a lot more dangerous.