Chapter 4: Caelin

After driving off Batta, Lyn went back to rest in her tent. She was exhausted from the battle, while Reinhardt was mentally exhausted from keeping her from doing autistic shit for the entire map.

"We make a pretty good team, don't we?" Lyn said.

"Yeah, a broken, braindead unit, and a tactician who can think at about the level of an average twelve year old", Rein added. "Seems like a match made in heaven."

"I was thinking", Lyn said, in an uncharacteristic moment. "What if we go on a journey? The two of us together, we could go to arena, and ruin all the win streaks of the manbabies on Reddit and GameFAQs, when they were one game away from finishing for the week. Half of them are probably bronies anyway. If we did that, it'd prove that the Lorca were good."

"Sure, why not?" Rein shrugged. "But I have no memory, so you'll have to lead us to the nearest arena."

"Ok", Lyn agreed. "And she led him to the nearby city of Bulgaria.

Meanwhile, in Bulgaria, two cucks were riding around on horses. They sucked so much, they were still not added to FEH, even in 2020. One of them was a soulless creature, known as a ginger, while the other one was almost as big of an incel as Leif, and always failed to get laid. They happened to cross paths with our heroes, on the way to the arena.

"Hey, will you have my babies?" the incel asked Lyn.

"Eww, no!" she gasped, kicking him in the micropenis, and causing him to fall off his horse. Everyone laughed at this, except the ginger, since the sense of humour is part of the soul.

"What are you two fags doing here, anyway?" Rein asked. "There's no way you're going to arena, because that would mean they actually made you playable!"

"We're here to find the Princess of Caelin", the ginger asked.

"Lmao like a princess would want anything to do with either of you queers", Rein scoffed. "What's her name, anyway? Maybe we can tell her that she's at the top of r/incels' fap list, after we ruin her arena streak."

"It's Lyndis", the ginger answered.

"What a stupid fucking name!" Lyn laughed. "Who would call their kid that? It's not even a real name. At least she has a name, unlike you two nameless NPCs, I guess."

"Our names are..."

"Don't care", Reinhardt interrupted, as he and Lyn made their way into the arena.

The incel coughed, as he got up from the ground. "W-Wait... Kent..." he said to his companion. "I remember now... The way she kicked me in the micropenis there. Lady Lyndis's mother kicked me the exact same way, when she rejected my ass way back in the day. Maybe she's actually...?"

However, not all was well. Though it would be some time before Batta healed from his arrow wounds, he had already sent his trusted sidekick, Zugu to intercept Lyn, and put an end to the Lorca once and for all. The new brigand made his way into the arena, while the two losers on the horses followed behind.

"ZUGU HERE TO FIGHT!" he exclaimed, slamming his axe through the reception desk.

"Ok, you go on ahead sir, and have a good day", the receptionist said, allowing him into the arena. Kent and Sain tried to follow him in, but the receptionist got in their way and blocked them.

"Whoa, we're going to have to stop you gentleman there", they said. "This is arena, a mode which is only for actual characters to take part in. If NPCs want to battle, the Training Tower is that way."

"DAMN IT, WE'RE NOT NPCSSSSS!" Sain cried, as the security dragged the two of them away.