Chapter 5: Arena

Lyn and Reinhardt were led into the arena, where they would be matched with an opponent of their choice. They had three options, a Beginner, an Intermediate, and an Expert opponent.

"Definitely Beginner", Rein told the fight organiser. "We just want to bully dumbass neckbeards from GameFAQs and Reddit, and there's no way their shitty teams could ever get higher than that."

"Ok, right this way", the organiser said, leading them out into the arena.

On the other side of the arena stood an obese manchild, wearing the Summoner robe from FEH. He was leading a team of Nowi, Winter Sothis, Bride Sanaki and Summer Elise. He didn't even meet Reinhardt's gaze, as he was too busy ogling his squad of underage waifus, while trying to find his micropenis with the tweezers he was using to masturbate.

"So, the Sanaki is running Gronnowl, with Defiant Atk 2, Pass, and no C", Rein began. "The Sothis is still Level 1. Actually, I don't even need to check the other two. Lyn, just do your stuff, you don't even need strategy to beat this idiot."

And so Lyn mindlessly charged towards the neckbeard's pathetic arena team, quickly overwhelming all of them with use of her superior attack range, and powerful stats.

"REEEEEEEEE!" screeched the neckbeard, as he waddled out of arena, in order to post on Reddit about how adult women are evil, and ruined his entire day.

Lyn and Rein high-fived, as they left to bully more pathetic neckbeard teams. Legions of Owl tome-wielding, Fury 4 running waifus, and their obese Summoners fell before Lyn's mighty bow, until eventually, they were 1 game away from completing their own streak.

"That's funny", Rein said. "Usually, I can smell our opponent by now."

"Yeah, about that", the fight organiser told them. "Apparently another guy had the same idea as you two. Clearing out all the fat pedophiles from Beginner, and then laughing at their salt on GameFAQs."

"You're right", Lyn nodded, as she took out her phone to show Reinhardt. There were almost as many threats complaining about a broken enemy unit named Zugu, as there was complaining about the duo they had now dubbed 'Lynhardt'.

"Wow, this Zugu guy must be pretty tough", Rein said, with a slight tone of admiration behind his words. "Apparently he has been preventing these Reddit players from getting further in the game, since 2003."

"And here he comes", the organiser warned, as the brigand stormed into the ring.

"ZUGU HERE TO KILL BRONIES, AND MAKE FUN OF NPCS!" he bellowed. "AND ZUGU ALL OUT OF NPCS!" He prefaced this, by dropping the severed heads of Sain and Kent at his feet.

"You'll pay for that!" Lyn exclaimed, fiercely pulling on the reins of her horse, as it thundered towards them. "Calling me a brony, I mean, not killing the NPCs."

She took out Mulagir, and opened fire on Zugu. Though she was fast enough to double him, she quickly found that he was far better built than the GameFAQs users' waifu armies from earlier, and capable of withstanding the attack. Zugu retaliated with a powerful swing of his Steel Axe, striking Lyn with enough force that her horse was sent flying, and she fell to the ground.

"Help!" she called out to Reinhardt, as she saw her horse lying on its side. "I've never fought on foot before! I don't know how! What do I do?"

"It's ok. I know you've never fought on foot before, but at least you still have your bow. It's not like you have to use a totally alien weapon, like a sword. Just aim for his heart, and you'll do fine!"

"Ok", she said, reassured by Rein's faith. Zugu charged her down, but she stood her ground and fired a bolt which whirred straight past his axe, hitting him in the heart. The brigand dropped his weapon, and fell to the ground, clearly mortally wounded. "W-Wait..." he moaned weakly. "C-Come closer..."

"Do you think it's a trap?" Lyn asked.

"Nah, he's too badly injured to try anything", Rein assured her. "Let's hear him out. He might have something interesting to say."

"Th-The Lorca..." he whispered. "Th-They're bronies... I know... I know in my heart th-that Batta was right... But you... Y-You're different... Those two NPCs I killed... Th-They said you... that you're really the Princess of Caelin... At the time... I thought them delusional... B-But now I see it... No brony could ever fight like that. Th-They're... huge beta cucks... You must have been... ad-dop...ted..."

With that final message, Zugu's eyes fell shut. Lyn was left in silence, wondering if everything she had been led to believe was a lie.