Lucy paced up and down the small bathroom, compulsively checking her phone every twenty seconds to check the progress of the timer while she made sure not to even look towards the stick on the corner of the bench.

When the timer finally sounded after what felt like the longest three minutes of her entire life, she froze, finally looking to the bench. Was she even breathing? Was her heart even beating anymore? She honestly didn't know. Everything had frozen.

But slowly, she began to hear her heartbeat in her ears and she became aware of just how heavy her breathing was. She couldn't look at it; she couldn't bring herself to reach out and look at the results.

She didn't want to know what the result was.

But god, did she need to know.

So quickly, she gathered up the box and test and walked out of the bathroom and back out into the living area, throwing them down on the kitchen counter as she went back to pacing, biting on her thumbnail.

Bickslow looked up and stopped fiddling with the bandage around his knuckles and hand. He glanced down at the test on the bench and then back up to Lucy, feeling his own heart beat just a little bit faster again from his own nervousness.

"So?" he said quietly.

"I… I don't know…" she mumbled, continuing to pace between the hall and the front door. "I haven't looked at it. I can't look."

"Do you, uh… want me to do it?"

Lucy nodded quickly, and Bickslow reached out and slid them towards where he sat. He had to remind himself to stay calm no matter what the outcome was, because Lucy was going to be freaking the fuck out, especially if it came back a certain way. She would need him if that happened, regardless of whether she wanted to admit or not. And Bickslow was going to be willing to be there for her.

That was if she'd actually let him, of course, because she still had all of that pain and heartbreak on her shoulders. If she didn't want him near her, then Bickslow wouldn't be able to blame her. That didn't mean he'd give up, though.

The possibility of Lucy being pregnant was game-changing. They'd only recently been able to get into a sort of stable routine with their new lives, but if she actually was pregnant, then everything would change. Again. It was bad enough that the two of them had to deal with their counterpart's fuck ups, but now this? There was a very big part of him that didn't want to even think of a baby being a fuck up, but… there was also a part of him that was finding it hard to see it as anything else.

None of it was fair, but they didn't have a choice in it. They didn't want any of it, but they were stuck with it.

So Bickslow stared down at the test, and then to the box, and then back. And then he did it again, just to make sure he wasn't getting himself confused and he wasn't reading the wrong thing or seeing something that wasn't there, and the more he did it, the more his brow furrowed and the more his heart rate went up.

The game was changing all over again, because Lucy was pregnant.

"Well?" Lucy asked quietly as she stared anxiously at Bickslow. The longer he stared at that damn stick, the worse she felt.

"Um… Well…" Bickslow mumbled, dropping it back down to the bench and looking up again. "It's uh… positive, I guess. You're pregnant." Because telling someone who you're legally and technically married to, just happened to cheat on in that world, and are only really friends with, that they're pregnant is so not weird. At all.

There's nothing weird about that at all, and honestly, Bickslow couldn't help but think the whole 'announcement' thing should be the opposite way around. You know, should it be conventional.

Everything was just weird.

"I… No… No, I can't be," Lucy whispered, going back to pacing when the panic set in. "I mean, it's got to be a false positive and I must have done it wrong somehow or you must have read it wrong or… Or…" But she had to stop her rambling, because she couldn't breathe. She couldn't hear anything over the sound of the blood rushing in her ears and there was nothing else but the tightness in her chest. Everything around her became blurred and she couldn't focus on anything but the fact that she was pregnant.

Lucy knew that no matter how many excuses she could come up with, she was pregnant. There was no denying it, really. But she didn't want to accept it either, because it scared her.

She'd stared death in the face more times than she could count – it was just one of the things you got used to being on Team Natsu – but she'd never been more terrified in her entire life than she was at that moment.

When Lucy slid down to her knees on the floor, Bickslow shot up from his stool and rushed over to her side to crouch down just in front of her. "Shit, Lucy…" he said, his voice strained. She was in distress and even though Bickslow had expected her to be like that, he didn't expect it to be that bad.

Almost hesitantly, he reached out gently to touch her arms, just below her shoulders. Bickslow could feel the muscles in her arms tense under his fingers, but it was just for a second, and just as quickly she had relaxed again. "Lucy, calm down," he said quietly. "Breathe."

"I… Can't…" she whispered, barely able to hear his words over the sound of her own heart in her ears.

She wasn't entirely sure where she'd been going with her words. Can't what, though? Can't breathe? Can't calm down? Can't be having a baby?

Or was it just that she couldn't do it anymore?

She truly didn't know the answer herself.

"Yes, you can," Bickslow said, slowly running his hands down her arms, and back up. "Deep breaths, come on."

Bickslow slowly became clearer; his soothing voice telling her to breath, over and over again. She could feel his hands on her arms and slowly but surely, Lucy began to return to herself. The room came back into focus.

She felt like there was a lump in her throat and that she was like a dam, waiting to burst; too many emotions were coursing through her and she was far too overwhelmed. She could barely get her thoughts into a logical order, but… she felt as if Bickslow was grounding her, almost. It was as if his presence alone was bringing her back down – calming her.

But that didn't make sense, because if anything, she should despise him being there. All week, it had been almost too painful just to be around him, but now, she didn't want him to leave.

That wasn't to say she was still in immense emotional pain from having her heart shattered, because she was; the only difference was that Lucy had realised that that feeling she'd had whenever she was around Bickslow – the feeling of being safe, almost. The warmth, that feeling of belonging… It was from the Bickslow in front of her. It wasn't her heart and her body trying to connect to the one that was supposed to be her husband, because Lucy knew that there was nothing but pain and hatred there. Whatever the other Lucy had once felt for the other Bickslow, she knew it was long gone.

It really just left her own feelings, and even though she didn't know how or why she felt that way around Bickslow, she knew she needed it. Lucy needed the comfort that he was trying to give her; she needed Bickslow. The real Bickslow.

So when she finally burst, so to speak, letting everything that had been building up over the week and especially over the last few hours go, and her body began to shake with her sobs, without thinking, Lucy leant forward slowly and came to rest her head on Bickslow's chest, grasping at the fabric as she cried into his shirt.

And he flinched at first, not expecting it to happen. But almost instantly, Bickslow got over it and wrapped his arms around her and held her as close as he possibly could, one arm around her back and the other at the back of her head and buried within the golden tresses.

"Shh, it's alright," he whispered, a hand smoothing up and down her back. "You're okay."

"I-I'm s-scared," Lucy stammered.

"I know you are," And Bickslow was too, he really was; but he couldn't show that, because with the way things were, Bickslow would set everything aside just for Lucy – to make sure that she was okay first. She was the priority because Bickslow knew that she had it so much worse, because of something that his other self had done. "I've got you, don't worry."

Just hearing those words come out of Bickslow's mouth let Lucy relax just a little bit more. She needed Bickslow to be there for her; she needed his support and the comfort that she knew he could give her – hell, that he was giving her.

And so they sat there on the floor, basically clinging to each other and not moving for god knows how long. Time didn't matter, especially not to Bickslow. He'd sit there for as long as it took or until she pushed him away and remembered the pain that his other self had caused. Hell, a part of him didn't even want to move either. Despite the circumstances, he liked being able to hold Lucy like that – to comfort her, reassure her, and make sure she knew that everything would be fine.

Bickslow would make sure everything would be fine.

When he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he shifted as little as possible to reach into his pocket and pull it out before holding it behind her head so he could read the message.

Boss Man:
I don't care what it is that made you leave, but if you're not here for the meeting at 11:30 then I'm not going to come up with another excuse for you.

So when he checked the time, he had to stifle a groan because it was nearly eleven as it was. More than anything, Bickslow would rather stay there with Lucy, but he really couldn't. As much as he hated the meetings that he had so many of, he'd learned the hard way that there were some that were much more important than the others, and the one at eleven thirty was one of them.

Besides, she'd stopped crying by that point and even though she'd barely moved and kept her head buried in his shirt, she had to have calmed down enough to realise she couldn't be around him without hurting herself even more.

So maybe Bickslow having to go back to work wasn't entirely a bad thing. For Lucy, anyway.

"Lucy…" he said softly as he tried to pull away slightly, only for her to tighten his grip on his shirt even more, stopping him.

"Don't… Please…" she whispered, keeping her head down.

"I have to go back to work…"

"Please… Son't leave…"

What? "I… I don't want to, I really don't," he said as he gently lifted her to her feet with him. "But it will only be for a few hours, I promise."

Lucy stared at where her hands were gripping the middle of Bickslow's shirt, and where his own hands were covering hers. She realised how clingy she was being then. It was selfish to want him to stay just because she didn't want to be alone, because she knew that once she was alone, all of the anxiety and fear and pain would come back, just because Bickslow was all that kept her it all in check.

But it was selfish. She knew that Bickslow had to be freaking out, and sure, Lucy could see that it was nowhere near as much as she was, but he had to be, at least a little bit. He probably needed space though, she realised.

So with a single nod, she pulled her hand away and turned to push past him and walk down the hall, her arms wrapped around herself. "Fine, yeah…" she mumbled.

And Bickslow felt a sharp pain in his chest, because he really did feel like he was actually leaving her, even if it really was just going to be for a few hours.

Silently, he followed her down the hall, and when she curled up on top of the bed with her back to him, Bickslow knew he couldn't leave her alone. Not like that, anyway. So after throwing his stained shirt into the hamper and buttoning up another one quickly, he walked over to her side of the bed and knelt down in front of her.

Lucy tried to grab a pillow to hide her face at least, but Bickslow stopped her, his hand grabbing her wrist. "It's okay, really," she muttered, only turning her head slightly in attempt to bury her face in the one she already had.

"No, it's not," Bickslow sighed, and really, it wasn't okay. But he was still working on that. "I can't stay and I don't want to leave you alone, so come with me."

"…What?"

"Come with me back to work," he said as he let go of her wrist. When she sat up just a little bit, the corner of his mouth curled up slightly. At least she wasn't totally lost to the world, right? "There's something cool there I want to show you anyway, and besides, no one will disturb you there. It'll just be me, but I have a couple more meetings to get through today but they shouldn't take too long."

Lucy ran over it in her head, over and over. She didn't want to seem needy – to really admit that she needed Bickslow, but… she did. And he was right there, in front of her. He was offering her the thing she needed most in that moment, and that was his comfort; it was himself.

"Is that even allowed?" she mumbled.

"It's my office, I can have whoever the hell I want in it."

So nodding slightly, Lucy sat up and swung her legs around to touch the floor gently. When Bickslow straightened up and headed towards the door, she called out, "Wait." Then, looking up slightly when he turned back to face her, she said quietly, "Can you um… Can you ask Levy and Gajeel or… Or Mira if they can look after Ingrid? I don't… I don't want to bring her…"

"She isn't here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as Lucy shook her head. "Alright, yeah." When Lucy got and silently padded over to the bathroom, he quickly and quietly asked, "Are you going to be okay to meet me in the lobby in a few minutes?"

With another silent nod, she pushed the door open as Bickslow headed out into the hall. Her mouth fell into a frown when she looked at the reflection of herself in the mirror – eyes red and puffy and honestly, she just looked terrible.

But hey, it was nothing a little cold water and makeup couldn't fix, right?

Bickslow knocked on the door to Gajeel and Levy's apartment, shoving his hands in his pockets as he waited for someone to pull the door open. Time was not on his side that day/

So when Gajeel opened the door with a scowl on his face, Bickslow cut to the chase as Gajeel stepped aside and let him through the door.

"I need you to do me a favour," Bickslow said as he saw Mira coming out from the hall in his peripheral vision. Good, at least Ingrid's here, he thought.

"Why would I do you a favour?" Gajeel asked, folding his arms across his chest as he walked back around to his lounge and slumped down next to Levy again, controller in hand.

"Because I'll owe you one."

"Fine," he said, not looking away from the T.V screen, "What is it?"

"I need you to look after Ingrid for the afternoon," Bickslow said, and when Mira moved to sit in front of the armchair he was standing beside, he added, "Well, I need one of you to do it. Please."

Mira looked up and frowned slightly. "I would but I have to go and pick Blake up soon."

"It's okay, we'll do it." Levy said with a small smile.

"The hell we will, Shrimp," Gajeel shot back as he briefly glanced sideways, then, looking back to T.V to see that his character had been killed, shouted, "Gray, you motherfucker!"

"Yes, we will," Levy insisted, narrowing her eyes slightly at her unfortunate partner. "Think of it as practice. You know there's only a couple of weeks to go, Gajeel."

After another sideways glance and a quiet sigh, he finally grumbled, "Tch, fine."

"Thanks, Levy," Bickslow said, reaching into one of his pockets to pull his keys out. He separated the apartment key from the rest, he placed it down on the end table just next to one of the lounges. "This is the key to the apartment. You'll need to get some stuff from there later so just walk in and call me if you can't figure something out, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," Gajeel mumbled. "We get it."

"Right, yeah… Okay." Bickslow nodded and turned for the door again after a quick glance at his watch. Damn it. He was about to pull their front door open when Levy called out and he froze.

"Wait, Bickslow," she said. "So… Is she?"

"…Is she what?" he replied, narrowing his eyes as he turned to look over his shoulder at the three staring back at him with eyes wide – including Gajeel, temporarily forgetting about his game.

"Wait, have you talked to Lucy since this morning?" When Bickslow remained silent, Levy continued, "I mean, she said you guys had an argument before you went to work… But since then?"

Bickslow finally turned around, folding his arms across his chest. "Why?"

"O-Oh… No reason…" she mumbled, eyes darting down to look at her hands clasped over her belly, examining her nails.

"Levy…" He said, his voice graver than usual. "What do you know?"

"I know lots of things… Bits and pieces of everything, really…"

"Levy."

Levy looked up suddenly, "Look, I just wanted to know if you've talked to her since you left for work, alright? And why aren't you there now, anyway?"

"I have talked to her, and… It's complicated," he admitted, "Now, what do you know?"

"What did you talk about…?" Mira chimed in, looking up at Bickslow from her chair, and hell, she was almost bursting with excitement and Bickslow could only raise an eyebrow, because really, he didn't know what was going on.

Well, he had a fairly good idea, but he wasn't going to say anything until they did, so Bickslow just remained silent.

"Jesus, just straight out ask him or I will," Gajeel muttered.

"But what if she hasn't brought it up yet?" Levy hissed.

"Then he's gonna get a shock, isn't he?" Gajeel snickered with his smug smirk.

"Just what the hell happened here this morning?" Bickslow demanded, forcing them all to turn back to face him again.

"Uh… Well…" Mira muttered as Bickslow looked down to eldest Straus., "We might have said some things…That might have made her realise something… That led to her asking us to watch Ingrid as she ran out the door suddenly, and we haven't seen her since."

Gajeel rolled his eyes as he leant back on the lounge with a loud sigh. "You two are useless," he complained, and then, with his smirk in place, he turned to look at Bickslow, not caring that his character had died again – to a flamethrower, it seemed – and asked bluntly, "So is Bunny knocked up or not?"

Shit.

So when they all looked back at Bickslow, awaiting his answer, he opened his mouth to say something – anything – but he shut it just as quickly, because really, he didn't know what to say.

Could he say yes? Because really, it was pretty damn good chance that she actually was, at least considering the supposed accuracy of the tests (which he had quickly searched up on his phone on his way up to that floor), but was it even his place to say that she was? It wasn't like they'd even talked about it, but it was just another thing added to the ever-growing list of things that they needed to talk about.

Could he say no? Probably not, he realised. He was a terrible liar.

So what was he supposed to do? They obviously knew enough to at least suspect it, and honestly, that was more than he had up to an hour ago.

He turned back down to Mira, because really, he knew it had something to do with her. By the way Lucy had been acting at finding out she actually was pregnant, Bickslow knew that she hadn't even considered that possibility herself, and the only other people she'd talked to that morning were in that very room.

Mira was always the centre of anything to do with weddings and babies, so of course, it had to have been her.

"How?" he asked, glaring at the eldest Strauss. He didn't need to say anything else, because he knew that one word was enough.

"W-Well, she said she was feeling unwell and that she was late—"

Gajeel groaned again, interjecting, "She bombarded Lucy with questions."

"I did not!" Mira whined, and then with a sigh she dropped her head slightly to continue, "Okay, fine, maybe I did… But I really just put two-and-two together and it made sense."

"So do you know if she is or not?" Levy asked quietly, because really, it was the only thing everyone wanted to do.

But Bickslow still didn't know if it was his place to confirm or deny it or not, so… he just remained silent. But unfortunately, they weren't going to take silence as an answer. Of course they weren't.

"We know you know if she is or not—" Gajeel started.

"You don't know that," Bickslow interrupted him.

"We do," Levy said. "Because if you didn't, you would have run out that door as soon as he even asked you the first time, so you obviously know."

Damn it. She's right.

"So, think of this as me cashing in that favour you now owe me—" Gajeel said.

"Us," Levy corrected.

"Fine, us," Gajeel grumbled. Then, turning back to the still scowling Bickslow, he continued with his ever present terrifying grin, "Come on, Bicks. Tell us if you're gonna be a daddy again."

And Bickslow just continued standing there with his arms folded in total silence, just for a tiny bit longer. The words just sounded creepy coming out of Gajeel's mouth if he had to be perfectly honest.

But still… He eventually cracked after just a few short moments, and at which point, he unfolded his arms and turned for the door with a sigh, his entire stoic stance falling instantly. "Fine, she's pregnant, but do not breathe a word of this to anyone else, especially Lucy."

So when they all nodded, too stunned to even talk because even though they'd all come to expect that she actually was, it was still a shock to hear it actually confirmed.

"Good," Bickslow said as he finally pulled the door open, and with a final glance over his shoulder, he said hurriedly, "Remember to call me if you get stuck—"

"Yeah, yeah. Heard you the first time," Gajeel mumbled, finally going back to his game. "Call you if we get stuck with Ingrid; we got it. Just go already, jeez."

Bickslow sighed as he made his way back to his office, fiddling with the bandages as he walked. He'd had to go straight to his meeting by the time he got back to the office, only having time to show Lucy where his office was before he'd rushed off to the elevators again. It was only a short meeting, thankfully, so he'd only had to leave her for less than an hour, but still, he hadn't wanted to leave in the first place but he didn't have a choice.

But when he looked up and saw his office in sight, door closed and blinds lowered, he started walking just a little bit quicker, walking around Freed and Evergreen as they headed towards their own respective offices just next to his.

The only problem was that he glanced towards the desks in the centre of the room, and there, at the desk closest to his office door in amongst the other dozen or so cubicles, sat Veronica and she happened to look up right as he walked past. Internally, Bickslow was cursing himself because he'd been hoping he would be able to put off talking to her for a little while longer, and he knew that as soon as he walked into his office, she was going to follow him, and with Lucy in there it was going to be more than a little uncomfortable.

So when he finally got to his office and closed the door behind him, he didn't go over to his desk, even though Lucy was sitting in his chair with her arms around her leg and holding it close to her chest, leaning her chin on her knee. No, instead he just stood by the door with his hands in his pockets and waited for Veronica to walk in.

"Bicks?" Lucy said quietly, an eyebrow raised.

"Just… wait," he mumbled, continuing to stare at the door.

Luckily, it wasn't much of a wait for his secretary to finally walk in, so when Lucy heard the door open, she stopped idly swivelling on the chair and stared at the door.

"What the hell was—" Veronica hissed, closing the door behind her, but when she saw Lucy sitting in the chair instead of Bickslow like she had expected, she stopped, eyes going wide. With a quick glance towards Bickslow who she realised was just glaring at her, she smoothed down her skirt and blouse – that thankfully, had all of the buttons done up again – and looked back towards Lucy, forcing what was supposed to look like a genuine smile. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Theroux. I apologise. I… I wasn't aware you were here," she stammered, her eyes darting towards Bickslow every now and then.

Lucy's face went bright red at the mention of her last name. Even though it wasn't technically correct, since every letter or card with her name on it had been listed as Heartfilia-Theroux, Lucy was still trying to get used to it.

Lucy was smart, so she knew that the woman was his secretary, and it didn't take much to figure out that she was the one the other Bickslow had an affair with, and even though Lucy was aware that whatever the other Lucy felt towards the other Bickslow was long gone, it still hurt her. She could feel it getting worse and more painful with each passing second; it was getting worse the longer she stayed away from Bickslow even though he was in the same room.

"I-It's fine… No harm done," she whispered, lowering her head to rest her cheek on her knee instead, looking out at the city of Magnolia that surrounded her.

Turning to face Bickslow, Veronica shuffled uncomfortably. "Uh… so, you have a few messages on your desk," she mumbled, looking up she took a few steps forward as Bickslow stepped back at the same time. "Did you want to go over the notes from that… meeting… this mor—"

"Don't. Just stop," Bickslow said, cutting her off as she stared up at him in shock, mouth slightly open and her face red. "You should go and clean out your desk."

"W-What? Are you firing me? You… You can't do that." Veronica said, folding her own arms across her chest, standing her ground with determination.

"Yes, I can."

"Not without a reason."

"I can, and I am. I made sure of that," Bickslow insisted. A quick phone call with their human resources block earlier that week and they'd confirmed that it was in fact possible for Bickslow to fire his secretary, just because he wanted to. Sure, it was morally unjust, but he could do it if he really wanted to. They'd even started getting the paperwork ready. All they had to do was get it all signed by Bickslow and file it.

But of course, he'd decided to give her a chance, just to see if she would stick with the flirting, because honestly, Bickslow could put up with that even if it made him uncomfortable as all hell. But that morning, she'd pushed it too far. It was time to find a new secretary.

So, finally turning away and walking towards his desk, not particularly wanting to continue the conversation, he shrugged his jacket off and threw it over the back of one of the chairs. Rolling his sleeves up to his elbows slowly, he said firmly, "So really, I would suggest going and cleaning out your desk before you make it worse for yourself."

"You can't do this!"

"I told you that I can, and I am, so go," Bickslow said, looking over his shoulder.

The two stared at each other in silence for a moment, each waiting for what the other's next move would be. Bickslow didn't want it to be drawn out and even more painful, and Veronica just didn't want to accept the fact she was being fired.

"I bet this is her idea, right?" Veronica seethed, pointing to the blonde in the chair. "You want to keep your precious marriage alive so you told your goddamn wife, right? And now she's telling you to fire me? Is that what this is?"

Bickslow closed his eyes and he leant forward over the armchair, his hands on the backrest as he tried to stop himself from getting too angry again. He'd tried to be patient with Veronica, and he was still trying to, but his patience was quickly wearing thin by that point. The fact she'd directly involved Lucy was infuriating him.

Bickslow just simply didn't have the patience or time to be dealing with his frustrating and annoying ex-secretary, so taking a steadying breath, he marched over to the door and pulled it open, just glaring at her as she stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Are you serious right now?" she whispered, folding her arms again.

He nodded, gesturing to the open door with his free hand and ignoring the looks from those closest to his office. "Just get out. I'll have HR send you the paperwork later."

She just stood there, gaping like a fish out of water before she stormed back to the door. And of course, she had to get in one list thing before she left, just because she was getting fired and no one likes getting fired.

So, as she walked through the doorframe, she turned to face Bickslow, continuing to walk backwards towards her desk which was directly behind her. "Wow, fucked me and fired me," she shouted, loud enough for almost everyone in the large room to hear, making them look up and stare at the commotion. "Boss of the year, you are!"

Bickslow slammed the door with a loud sigh, turning to rest his back against the door as he slid down to the ground with his hands hanging over his knees while he tipped his head back, hitting the door as he closed his eyes. Veronica had gone and made everything worse, all because of what? Because she was jealous? Maybe a little. Because she was young and stupid? Yeah, probably. Regardless of the reason, it had just made his life all the more complicated because now everyone was going to find out what a dick his other self was.

Wiping her hand across her cheek, Lucy got up from the chair and quietly walked over to the door, sliding down beside Bickslow to rest her head on his shoulder. As much as it hurt, she needed to be close to Bickslow. She needed him to make her feel better; she needed to be in contact with him, as weird as it was to admit it to herself.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," she whispered, and really, she didn't think Bickslow had anything to be sorry for. His other self, maybe, but not him.

"No, I do," Bickslow said, tipping his head forward again to look down at his hands as he held them up slightly. "I'm sorry you got brought into that and I'm sorry that you're in pain because of it all, I really am."

"Bicks—"

"No, Lucy. I need to say this because it's the reason I came home this morning in the first place," he continued, glancing down when she nodded against his shoulder. "First off, I need to apologise for a lot of the things I said this morning. I was just irritated and blurted out things I didn't mean, so I'm sorry for that."

"I… I said some things I didn't mean to as well," Lucy murmured as she sat up slightly, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth as she turned to Bickslow, "I just… It's hard, and you know that, but I still wish I hadn't really said any of it…"

"It's fine. You had a good reason to say it, so I don't care, but… aren't you just making things worse for yourself by being here? Near me?" he asked quietly, looking down. It wasn't that he was complaining about her wanting to be there – the opposite, really – but it was that he didn't know why she was there. That same morning, she'd stood in front of him and said that it hurt her to be around him.

He just didn't understand how so much could have changed in just a few hours.

And sure, they'd found out she was pregnant in those few hours, but… Bickslow didn't see how that could cause her to completely forget about the fact that he had literally broken her heart into smithereens, most likely. You don't just get over that with a snap of your fingers.

Lucy smiled weakly, and even though it was small, it was enough to make Bickslow's heart feel like it was melting – and wow, was that new. "Not really," she said as she looked down, a blush creeping up on her cheeks. "I'm not going to lie and say that my heart isn't in a million pieces right now, because it is." And just from actually hearing her say what he already knew, it made Bickslow feel all the more guilty. "But that's not your fault—"

"It kinda is," he mumbled.

"No, it isn't," Lucy said as she shifted to sit on her knees to face Bickslow again. "You didn't do anything, and right now, you are all that's keeping me together. It's not your fault that I got hurt in the first place, and it's not mine either, but there's nothing we can do about that, alright?"

"But still… You shouldn't have to feel that way at all, and I want to take the blame for it. I need to take the blame for it because I hate myself just as much as I hate seeing you like this." He looked back down to his hands as he began to idly twist the ring on his finger.

Almost without thinking, Lucy leant forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder again as he tensed up at the unexpected contact.

"Bicks, please don't hate yourself," she whispered. "You can't hate yourself for something you didn't do. Feel free to hate your other self though," she said, a quiet giggle slipping past her lips.

"Trust me, I do." Even Bickslow found himself smiling for a second. "But that was the second thing I needed to apologise for. I need to say sorry on behalf of that dickhead. I just don't understand why he'd do something so… stupid. I just don't see how he could even think about hurting you like that, not when he's supposed to love you."

"Well, on behalf of the other Lucy, and a little bit of myself too because this sucks," she said with her own smile, "I say the other Bickslow can go to hell."

"So do I," Bickslow agreed with a quiet chuckle, then, he pulled the ring off his finger as Lucy raised an eyebrow. "Fuck it. I'm not wearing this anymore. I'm not that moron. I know what to hold on to and not let go of, ever, or do something stupid to fuck it up. I'm not him." And he tossed it towards the other side of the room then, watching as it landed on the ground and rolled towards the window before toppling over.

"I know you're not, Bicks," Lucy whispered, shifting slightly when his arm moved to wrap around her waist. "And that's exactly why I can be around you, because I…" She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth again, "I know you wouldn't do something like that."

"Damn right, I wouldn't," Bickslow mumbled, pulling her even closer as he tilted his head to rest his cheek on top of her head. "I'd never let go of you if I had you." And it was the truth. Lucy – and Ingrid, for that matter – was one person he would never let go of if he'd had that life. Hell, he didn't even want to let go of her then and he didn't even have her.

…But that wasn't to say he didn't want her, because he did, a little bit.

A blush crept across her cheeks again and the corners of her mouth lifted up into a small smile. "So don't let go of me now then," she whispered. "You really are all that's keeping me together right now. I don't know why… Or how… But you make me feel better. You make the pain just a little more bearable and I need that. I need you to stay, to help me get through everything, especially now… I need you…"

He could feel his heart begin to race as her words trailed off into silence, and almost instantly, he shifted so he had both his arms wrapped around her, pulling her in and holding her as close as humanly possible as she buried her head against his chest again.

She needs me.

Over and over again, that's all he could hear in his head, and god, did it make him feel just a little bit better. Bickslow knew Lucy was usually not the type of person to admit to needing something – to needing someone. She was far too stubborn and strong-willed; hell, she was just strong in general, and he'd told her that before.

But she'd admitted to needing him. Him, of all people.

Bickslow wasn't going to let her go, ever. Not when she needed him; needed him to help her put herself back together, to go back to the once cheerful blonde that everyone loved.

He could do that. He would do that, because he'd already decided that he would do whatever it would take to make her get better, to make everything okay again.

"I'm not going anywhere and I'm not going to let you go," Bickslow whispered finally, closing his eyes and just enjoying the feel of her wrapped in his arms.