For once, Wade and Vanessa sleep in the same bed. They don't fuck. They don't play any silly lover's games. They sleep.
Frankly, this is the least active I've ever seen Wade. It's crazy; he never stays asleep this long...
Sadly, he won't be making any fourth wall breaks or elaborate monologues in this chapter. But if you stick around, he just MIGHT make a few in the one that follows...
As Wade sleeps, he embraces Vanessa, from behind. They're both in the nude. Alas, the bedding conceals their NSFWs. It's just as well; rumor has it that Morena Baccarin is a proud member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.
For some strange reason, the door's been left unlocked tonight. As ferocious as Deadpool can be, one would expect a lifelong X-Force member to lock his doors at night...
Tonight, however, the door opens. Even stranger, it doesn't make noise as its opened or closed.
Meet Domino. Tonight, she's here to sate a crush.
With one blue eye and one brown eye, she looks around the house. Not a mouse stirs. Good; Domino doesn't have to cause it bad luck. Hastily, she sneaks into the master bedroom.
She sticks a needle into Wade, and inoculates him. She stands back, and waits...
Wade rolls over on his back, away from Vanessa. Vanessa mumbles, and brushes her bare arm off.
Somehow, Domino drags Wade out of bed. On the floor, she's spread a bag. She zips it up, with Wade in it. Lucky her, Wade now weighs less than he ever has...and it's been a while since the cancer's contracted him.
Moments later, Domino comes back in with another bag. It's smaller, and apparently rounder. She leaves it in bed, with Vanessa. Promptly, she gives her the slip, and vanishes.
Dawn rises. The birds sing.
Slowly, Vanessa wakes. She moans happily, and with her bare arm, reaches for Wade...
She grasps something...but it's not Wade. It's...something in a bag. Confused, she rubs her eyes, rolls over, and opens the bag.
Doop's inside. The giant chloroplast gapes at her, with huge eyes.
Vanessa takes one look at him, and screams at the top of her lungs. Using his powers, Doop blocks out the harmful parts of her screams...as earless as he seems to be...
O, bothers. And I thought Morena Baccarin was impossible to scare...