When Bickslow stepped out of the elevator at half-past-nine in the morning, he was convinced his day couldn't get any worse. First of all, he was already late (technically, he was paid to be there from nine o'clock), and he'd tried not to be late considering it was his first day back. But secondly, he'd blurted out that he loved Lucy, and she'd just sat there in silence. It wasn't the part that Lucy hadn't said anything though that had Bickslow seriously hating himself. He truly didn't mind that she hadn't said anything. Oh no. It was that he'd said it at all, and then he'd made it a whole bunch worse for himself by not being able to keep his damn mouth shut.
The one time he'd needed to, and he hadn't been able to.
It wasn't that he didn't mean it though, because he did. Plus, he had to admit it felt pretty great to tell her, even if he hadn't meant to. Of course, he was still dreading walking back into their apartment later that night, just because he knew everything was going to be awkward and he wouldn't be able to just sweep what he'd said under the rug. Lucy wouldn't let him do that. He knew that much.
If she just ignored it, then it would be absolutely fucking amazing. They could just pretend it hadn't happened. He could walk in, be greeted by his amazing girlfriend and daughter, tell Lucy all about his boring day and his terrible meetings, and pretend nothing was wrong as they curled up in bed. Oh, how Bickslow would love that.
Except the world really fucking hated him that day, and as he walked into the main room for that floor, passing the rows of cubicles with the busy workers and Evergreen and Freed's empty offices, he was convinced his day was really about to get a whole lot worse. His assistant, James, was only cringing as he quickly got up from his desk closest to Bickslow's office, and that was not a look Bickslow liked at all. Not on his first day back.
"Why the hell do you look like that?" Bickslow asked slowly as he looked to his own office with the closed door and the closed blinds.
"Uh, good morning, Mr. Theroux," James said quickly. "Uh… Well, I did try and stop them, but…"
Stop them? Oh no… Bickslow wouldn't be surprised if he was late to a meeting, and he was sure there was someone waiting for him in his office (a great way to start the day, apparently). So when he finally got to his door and pushed it open, he expected to see some middle-aged, balding loser in a suit sitting in one of the two chairs on one side of his desk. But… That wasn't what he saw. What he did see, however, was the entirety of his team and the entirety of Lucy's team (well, former teams, technically) making themselves comfortable on every lounge and chair in the room.
Yeah, Bickslow was now more than convinced his day could not get any worse now.
"About time you showed up," Laxus muttered as he flicked through a binder from where he sat on the edge of the lounge.
"At least I showed up," Bickslow retorted. Not that he really had anywhere else to be though, and he still really was not looking forward to going home. He couldn't even imagine what his day would be like if he hadn't had to go to work, but then again, he wouldn't have said it at all if he hadn't been leaving. He sighed when he got to his desk, only to see Natsu spinning around on it. "Natsu, get the fuck out of my chair."
"Fine, fine," Natsu whined.
Bickslow looked down to his desk as he folded his jacket over the back of his chair, and he internally groaned when he looked over his schedule for the day. Meetings, meetings, and then more meetings. He hated meetings with a passion, and he had been more than glad to not attend a single one in nearly a month (apart from the conference he'd been forced to go to, but that didn't really count).
"So, uh…" Erza suddenly broke the silence as Bickslow sat down and leant back in his chair, his eyes still trained on the sheets in front of him as he rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. "How's Lucy?" she asked.
Oh, dear god, no… Of all things, she just had to ask about Lucy. "You saw her like two days ago. She's fine. Why wouldn't she be anything other than fine?" he almost snapped. Oh, fuck… That window looks good. What floor am I on again? I wonder how long it would take to fall to my death from this floor…
"Oh… I was just asking…"
"Well, she's fine. She's always fine. Ingrid's fine. Twins are fine. Everything and everyone is fine and perfect," Bickslow insisted, only to instantly regret it and seriously consider sewing his mouth shut. He just could not keep it shut to save his life that day, and when the room fell into an uncomfortable silence again after his unnecessary outburst with everyone just staring at him, Bickslow could only shake his head as he dropped it down to his desk. He'd fucked up. Again.
"Bickslow…" Laxus said slowly, closing the binder in his lap. "What did you do?" It was just a simple question, but it was the only one he needed to ask. He'd known the former Seith mage for a long time, and he knew exactly when something was wrong. In this case, he could tell that he'd done something.
Well, it was more of an assumption really, but Laxus had come to realise it was a very safe assumption to make in almost all situations. And, judging by the way Bickslow was acting right then, Laxus was very sure the man had done something to make him that way at all.
"Something stupid," Bickslow groaned into his desk.
The sound of Evergreen snickering from where she sat on one of the armchairs opposite his desk had Bickslow lifting his head just enough to look at her and figure out just why she had a reason to laugh right then.
She shrugged when she saw Bickslow looking at her with his eyes slightly narrowed. "You always do stupid things," she said. He had to admit that she had a point, and he could only shrug before he dropped his head to his desk again.
"So how stupid are we talking, Bicks?" Laxus asked. "Your definition of stupid, or really stupid?"
"I… I don't know," Bickslow mumbled.
"Well, what exactly did you do?"
He sighed into the table before he answered, "I said something." Of course, it was followed by another groan when he realised that he'd said too much. Again.
"Oh! Can we guess what you said?" Natsu chimed in.
"What? No."
"Aww, why not?"
Bickslow could only stare at Natsu in shock as he tried to figure out if he was completely serious. He knew Natsu was an idiot, but was he so much of an idiot that he really couldn't tell that Bickslow didn't want to talk? He'd already said enough to everyone as it was (considering he hadn't wanted to tell anyone anything), and he sure as hell did not want to talk to his girlfriend's best friend about how he'd accidentally told her that he loved her. He didn't want to talk to anyone about that.
He shook his head as he reached for the bag on the floor as he quickly pulled his laptop and everything from it – including Lucy's book which he was convinced was the entire reason for him being in that mess. But, it had come from his office, and he was returning it to his office. "Because it's none of your business what I said," Bickslow said. "What I said is between me and the person I said it to, and now I'm going to stop talking before I say something I don't mean to again." Oh dear god… Where is the fucking tape? I need to fucking tape my mouth shut. Will staples work?
"Alright, now I'm really curious as to what it was you said," Evergreen said.
"I kinda am too," Gray added. "Was it to Lucy? Whatever it was you said?"
Bickslow suddenly looked back up just to see everyone staring at him expectantly. Why the hell were they all so interested in finding out what he'd said? It wasn't like he could blame anyone in the room for the mess he was in right then, because it was his fault things were turning out the way they were. If he hadn't read the book, he wouldn't have realised he was in love with her. If he hadn't said that he loved her, then he wouldn't be hating himself. If he wasn't hating himself, then his mind would be in the right place and he would have known when to shut the fuck up and he wouldn't have everyone pressuring him to find out just what he'd said.
Although, if he hadn't fallen in love with Lucy in the first place, then none of it would be happening at all, but he still had no idea how or when that had happened. He was beginning to think the stupid book had been right in the fact that he'd always been in love with her.
"Why are you bringing up Lucy? Lucy has nothing to do with this. At all," Bickslow said quickly.
"Well, you do live together…" Erza stated.
"And you two are dating," Evergreen added. "So…" It was pretty clear to her that whatever Bickslow had said, it had been to Lucy. Who else was he going to talk to first thing in the morning? It was only when she really realised that the entire situation was from Bickslow being stupid and saying something to Lucy did she put two and two together. Or at least, she thought she did, and her eyes went wide as her hand flew to her mouth just as a shriek left it. "Oh my god."
Bickslow stared at the former Fairy mage in shock and confusion along with everyone else in the room, and he was just that little bit closer to believing he was going to die of a heart attack before he was thirty. There was no way Evergreen could know and have figured it out. He already knew Laxus knew – he'd been sitting silently with an eyebrow raised since he'd mentioned saying something stupid, waiting to see if Bickslow was going to let any more secrets spill – and Bickslow was definitely glad he'd remained quiet, but just how could Evergreen have figured it out?
"Ever…" Bickslow said firmly, his eyes narrowed and focused on the woman.
"You didn't, did you?" she shrieked.
Just a few words and Bickslow was definitely sure she had figured it all out, and that was definitely not good at all. "How the hell do you know?" Bickslow hissed as he sat forward on his chair, leaning over the files and laptop on his desk.
"So you did? Bickslow! What the hell is wrong with you!? What even happened anyway?"
"I didn't mean to fucking say it!"
Gray looked between the former mages with as much curiosity and confusion as everyone in the room, excluding Laxus. His brow was only creasing, and in the short moment of silence where the two only seemed to stare at each other, Gray promptly cut in, "Am I the only one who still has no idea what Bickslow said?"
Erza shook her head. "I don't—"
"Can't we all just drop the issue of what Bickslow said, and actually start talking about what we're all in here for? Like, our jobs? And helping Bicks get caught up with everything?" Laxus interrupted with a sigh. Sure, it was just a little entertaining to watch the man he called his best friend squirm and quite obviously hate himself for talking (he'd never been able to keep anything to himself for long, even if his life had depended on it), but he had to get the conversation to end before things got out of control. If he had accidentally told Lucy he loved her, Laxus knew it was definitely not something he wanted to have spread around.
"No, we cannot." Evergreen turned around in her chair quickly just to gawk at the former Lightning slayer. Slowly turning back to Bickslow, her brow furrowed as she tried to understand how no one could have figured it out, and she said, "Work is nowhere near as important as Bicks telling Lucy he loves her!"
"He did what?!"
"Huh?"
"You do?"
Bickslow just stared at the woman as everyone stared back at him (excluding Laxus who was only bringing his binder up to his face to hide it) and quickly began to freak the fuck out. Bickslow could only be glad that Mira didn't actually work there, because if she found out, he'd be fucking dead. But that wasn't the point. The point was that Evergreen was the one who wasn't able to keep her mouth shut right then, and he could definitely blame her for the way Lucy's team was staring at him. It was positively terrifying, if he were to be honest.
"Ever! What the fuck?!" he shouted. "Why the fuck did you have to say that?!"
It was only when Bickslow slumped back in his chair with his head once again hitting the stack of papers in the middle of the desk, did Evergreen realise that she really shouldn't have just said what was apparently something Bickslow didn't actually want to talk about at all. Or at least, not with them. She was definitely feeling incredibly awkward then, and she only slowly tried to sink down into the leather chair, crossing her leg over her knee. "I… I just… Sorry…" she mumbled. She'd never really been all that good in social situations, and it was definitely catching up again.
"Whatever," Bickslow muttered into the desk. It didn't matter anymore. It was out, unfortunately, and his day had gotten a whole lot worse. Although now he really was sure it couldn't get any worse at all. Not unless he got home and Lucy decided it would be too weird to still be with him if he was in love with her while she didn't feel the same way. Of course, it would completely suck if they broke up over something like that, but he still really hoped it wouldn't be that bad.
He was still hoping that it would just get swept under the rug and they could pretend it didn't happen at all. Like a lot of other things that were happening that day.
"Um… But…" Erza suddenly broke the more than uncomfortable silence in the room, and she quietly asked, "Are you sure?"
It wasn't exactly like Erza had any problems with Bickslow's relationship with Lucy. In fact, she had to admit that she did kind of like them and there was something weird about them that made them work together, even if she hadn't really seen them actually together at all. But, as much as she could see that they worked, strangely, she knew that they hadn't really been together in that kind of capacity for very long at all, so she couldn't help but wonder if Bickslow had meant what he apparently said.
Surely he couldn't actually love her yet, right?
"Sure about what?" Bickslow groaned into the paper.
"Well, if you say you didn't mean to say it to Lucy, then are you sure that you meant it? Are you… Are you sure that you love her?"
"No doubt about that one," Laxus snorted from his corner.
Bickslow sighed into his desk again. Even if Laxus had decided to join the conversation and no doubt make things worse for himself, he just didn't care. He was truly so far past caring at that point that Laxus' comment didn't matter in the slightest.
So as everyone decided to once again turn their attention to him, only bombarding him with questions about how he'd managed to fall in love with her so quickly (he was just a little glad no one was freaking the absolute fuck out, or Natsu specifically wasn't. Instead, he only focused on how him getting punched in the face felt just a little more justified, strangely), Bickslow quickly began to realise his lack of patience for that day and conversation alone was dwindling rapidly. He had no intentions of even trying to explain that he hadn't exactly fallen in love with her so quickly, because when he was still trying to understand how he'd fallen in love with her and how he had completely missed it, there was no way in hell he could even try making anyone else understand it.
But oh, did Bickslow just want that conversation to be over. He just had to find a way to make it end, just so he could actually get on with his job – not that he ever expected to be thinking that. His friends already knew more than he wanted them to, so was there really any harm in just saying something along the lines of, 'yeah, I'm fucking in love with her, and no, I didn't mean to tell her, so can you all just get the fuck out of my office now?' Surely that would be okay… Right? It would give them all the information they needed to get them off his back, and hopefully, give him the peace he needed to completely hate himself and figure out just what he was supposed to do about the entire situation he'd found himself in.
Except when he did finally lift his head from his desk, just to lean on his elbows with his fingers idly running circles over his temples in an attempt to ease his headache, he looked up to see everyone staring at him and awaiting his answers in the silent room. Suddenly, Bickslow was sure that what he wanted to say wouldn't be enough. Not in the slightest.
But… Then his eyes caught the book sitting just to the side, and he only quickly sat up just to pick it up and move it to the opposite side of the desk. "Just read the fucking book, okay?" he said, much to everyone's confusion as Evergreen sat forward to slide the book towards herself. The book was the answer to all things, and it would save him a lot of explaining. Of course, there was still the entire issue where the majority of the book was truly fiction, but it was the underlying moral to the story that was the important part of it.
The part where he'd been in love with her for a really long time. That was what was important, and he was sure it was going to come out at some point anyway. Everyone might as well figure it out on their own with the help of the other Lucy's book. Well, at least he could only hope they'd be smart enough to figure it out. Obviously Lucy hadn't, but he was more than glad for that.
Bickslow couldn't even fathom what he'd do and what would happen if Lucy found out he'd been in love with her before everything had happened, because he was sure it would not end well.
The closer it got to the time when Bickslow said he'd be home, the more Lucy began to panic. All day, Lucy had been worrying about what would happen when Bickslow got back, because she really didn't want it to get any more awkward than it already was.
She still wasn't sure if Bickslow had meant what he said, and Ingrid had honestly been no help in determining if he actually felt the same way as she did. In fact, she just looked up at her frantic and rambling mother every now and then before she went back to playing with the five wooden dolls scattered around her and just out of her reach for the most part. Lucy liked to think that he meant it, even if he hadn't meant to actually tell her, because if he did love her, then it would really make everything a whole lot easier.
If he loved her, it would make Lucy telling him that she actually loved him a whole lot easier and less stressful, because she really, really wanted to tell him. She'd been finding it increasingly difficult with each passing day not to say it, but she'd refrained because she'd been sure everything would end awkwardly and she'd be hating herself for saying it when Bickslow wouldn't say it back. She'd just wanted to wait until they'd been together for a little longer and she was a little surer of how Bickslow actually felt about her, because without a doubt, telling someone that you love them, only to have them not say it in return, is as awkward and uncomfortable as it could get.
And she'd done exactly that, and she really kind of hated herself for it. Bickslow had told her that he loved her, and she'd just stood there in complete shock, unable to do anything but stare at him and try and figure out if she'd actually heard the words that had come out of his mouth. She could have just said it back and stopped him from freaking out (and wanting to jump out a window before he said anything else), and everything would be okay and she wouldn't be waiting for him to get home just so she could finally tell him how she felt.
Once she did that, all would be okay again. She wouldn't be freaking out and hating herself for being painfully silent that morning, and hopefully, Bickslow would stop being an awkward mess, because that's what he had been when he'd rushed out the door that morning.
So when she heard the keys in the door at a quarter to six, Lucy's chair slid back from the table, leaving Ingrid in the highchair, and she quickly went over to the door as Bickslow slowly pushed it open. Before he could even get into the apartment though and close the door behind himself though, he had Lucy's hand at the back of his neck and then her lips were on his, and he sure as hell had not been expecting it.
But, as great as kissing Lucy was, and he really would love to get home every day and be greeted by that before he could even close the damn door behind himself, he knew there was most definitely something going on, and after what he'd said that morning, he was sure that whatever was going on was related to that. So only after slowly walking Lucy back into the apartment just enough so he could actually get the door closed did Bickslow finally pull free (just a little reluctantly, if he had to be perfectly honest).
"Okay, Lu—"
"I love you," Lucy said quickly before Bickslow could even get the rest of her name out. She'd needed to say it, despite how it made her heart jump into her throat, and she really couldn't help feel just a little nervous suddenly.
Bickslow wasn't happy about hearing those words though. Not at all. Any other day, he would have loved to hear her say those words, but on that day, he really didn't like it at all. Her saying that she loved him just made him feel worse about it all, because now, it meant they actually had to talk about it and he couldn't just forget about it and move on like he'd wanted to. Ignoring the way his chest seemed to hurt from wanting Lucy to mean it, he could only quickly turn to push past her as he muttered, "You don't have to say it."
Lucy's eyes followed Bickslow as he dropped one of the bags in his hand on the counter – the one with dinner he'd promised to pick up – before his satchel was dropped on the chair at the desk like it always was, before he quick turned and went down the hall. Lucy was more than a little confused right then. It wasn't supposed to go that way; she was supposed to feel happy and not like she'd made a huge mistake and was the biggest idiot in the room.
"Yes, I do," she said slowly, her arms folding across her chest as she turned to follow him down the hall. "And I wanted to say it, because I meant it."
"No, you don't," he sighed. He was still refusing to actually look at her as he pulled his jacket off and slid the wardrobe door open. He knew that she was standing just inside the doorway, but it didn't matter. Keeping his eyes forward to the rows of suits in front of him as he quickly began to loosen the knot in his tie, he said quietly, "You can't mean it because you can't fall in love with someone that quickly."
And that's what it came down to for Bickslow. He didn't believe that Lucy could truly love him. Not then and not yet, anyway. They hadn't been together long enough for that. Or at least, Bickslow didn't believe she could be, but it wasn't exactly like he was a know-it-all when it came to all things related to relationships. If anything, he was quite literally the last person in the entire world anyone should ever come to for relationship advice – he was convinced Ingrid would give better dating advice than he would.
But, what he did know, was that it was impossible for Lucy to actually love him. He really, really wished she did, just because it would make things easier, but he knew things weren't like that. Things weren't easy right then and it was his big mouth that had things that way. If he hadn't let those two stupid words slip out, then Lucy wouldn't have felt the need to say them back. Maybe it was all in an attempt to make him feel better about it, even if it meant saying something like that when she didn't mean it – that was something she would do, he figured. That was just the kind of person Lucy was.
It didn't mean that it didn't hurt, because it did. It just happened to hurt Lucy a whole lot more, and she only felt increasingly more stupid and heartbroken with each second. "So then you didn't mean it when you said it this morning," she whispered.
Bickslow finally looked at Lucy then, and in the split second it took to realise that he was actually hurting her, he was quickly turning away from the wardrobe just to be in front of her. "No. Fuck, Lucy," he said quickly, a hand reaching up to gently tilt her head up so she was actually looking at him. "I meant it. I do." Hell, practically everyone else had found out he loved her, so at that point, he really didn't care that he was telling Lucy. Besides, he'd technically already told her.
Lucy only shook her head, and she stepped back just so Bickslow's hand fell away. "You couldn't have meant it." Just as Bickslow's brows drew together as he quickly grew frustrated and confused, she turned, and as she went back down the hall, she only shrugged and said, "Like you said, you can't fall in love with someone that quickly."
"Lucy, it's not that simple. I didn't—"
"It's incredibly simple, actually," Lucy shot back. "You seem to think it's perfectly acceptable for you to fall in love with me quickly, but you refuse to believe that I could actually love you, even though I just told you, and I told you that I meant it. What isn't simple about that?"
"Because I was already in love with you before any of this even happened, okay?" he nearly shouted, only to instantly regret it as soon as the words had left his mouth. Telling Lucy that he loved her was one thing, but telling her that he'd been in love with her for a while was something else entirely, and he really hadn't intended ever telling her that. It was weird on so many levels to begin with, considering they'd rarely talked until they'd found themselves in that world as it was.
There was an upside though. At that point, Bickslow was sure things couldn't get any worse. He hated himself, Lucy probably hated him, Ingrid was probably on the verge of starting to cry because they were suddenly yelling at each other, and Bickslow was almost convinced he'd just unintentionally sabotaged one of the best things in his life.
"What?" Lucy whispered. She didn't understand what Bickslow had just said. Not entirely, anyway. "I don't…"
"Look, it doesn't matter, alright?" he sighed, just as he lifted up Ingrid and pulled her in against his chest. "I meant what I said before, now can we just drop it?"
"Bickslow, that's exactly why I can't just drop it!" She didn't know why Bickslow couldn't understand that – how was Lucy supposed to just drop the entire thing when he literally just stands in front of her and basically tells her that he loves her, but he won't even begin to believe that she could feel the same way, and all just because they hadn't been together long enough?
"Lucy, please. I don't want to talk about this right now. Or ever, actually."
And strangely enough, those were actually the words that hurt Lucy the most, and she really couldn't do anything about the pain that was suddenly making itself known in her chest. She hated it though. Truly. And more than anything, she didn't understand why Bickslow was being the way he was. Why didn't he want to talk about it? Why was he so set on avoiding something that was a problem when it really shouldn't be one at all?
The only problem was that Lucy just didn't even want to find out the answers to those questions right then, especially when she was sure Bickslow obviously wasn't willing to give them up. She was honestly just too tired right then and far too frustrated with Bickslow to even begin to try and have an actual conversation with him. Part of her just didn't want to get hurt any more than she already was too, because she was sure that's what would end up happening if she forced Bickslow to talk, and she really did not want to have to force him to talk.
So she wouldn't. She wouldn't make Bickslow talk, and she sure as hell would not talk to him. She needed to talk to someone, and even though her first choice had quite obviously just blown up in her face, she had to go to someone else. Thankfully, that someone else just happened to live two floors above her and was far away enough from Bickslow so she could actually think. And cry. Both, really.
Shrugging, she only slowly began to step backwards, only after sliding her phone from the counter and into her hand before picking up the keys from where Bickslow had dropped them on the end table by the door. "You don't want to talk about this?" she said far too softly and as calmly as possible; she'd found the calmer and understanding she sounded in those kinds of situations, the more she scared whoever she was talking to. Natsu and Gray had definitely learnt that the hard way. "Fine. We won't talk. We won't talk about anything at all if that's what you really want."
"Hey, Lucy, come on." He watched as she slowly pulled the door open, and with each tiny step she took out into the hall, the more it hurt to watch. It didn't matter that he knew she'd be back. He just didn't want her to leave at all. "Please, don't leave," he pleaded. He would do anything to get her to stay, even if it meant talking about it all. Not that he really knew what to say. "If you want to tal—"
"Nope. No talking," she cut him off. "You don't want to talk about how you think you know how I feel better than I do myself, and right now, I just don't have anything else to say to you. No talking. Just like you wanted, right?"
And just like that, the door was gently pulled closed behind her and the full force of the situation finally hit Bickslow. He'd screwed up to begin with, but he'd really just made things a whole lot worse for himself. When he'd thought about all the worst case scenarios when he'd been at work and sitting through the boring as all hell meetings with people who still hated him and judged him for the entire affair thing, more so now that it had somehow gotten around that Lucy was pregnant (it was warranted, but it was annoying), he'd never really expected things to get that bad. Bickslow was almost certain Lucy breaking up with him would have been a better turn of events, just because it was clean and it was neat and it was definite.
Right then though, Bickslow just had no idea what was going on. He knew Lucy was more than mad at him and he knew he really deserved it because he could see that he'd hurt her, and he could see that she obviously needed her space or just to get away from him for a little while, but he just didn't know where they stood. Was that it for them? Bickslow couldn't help but wonder if it was.
But as he sat there on the chair, staring at the wall opposite him where only one photo hung – one of Ingrid that had been taken when Claire had looked after her for the day to let himself and Lucy rest – he found himself wishing that he still had his magic. More so than ever, really. If magic was still alive in that world, then he'd have his babies, and he'd have them in his head telling him how stupid he was for screwing everything up. They'd help him get his thoughts in order and they'd get him to see everything the way he should have always seen things.
That's what he loved them for, because they had always been enough to make him realise his mistakes. But then, he didn't have them, and Bickslow was only just realising how much he missed that. Right then, Bickslow didn't know how to gets his thoughts in order and be able to see everything the way he should have always been seeing it, because he'd never really had to do it alone.
But he had to do it alone. He had to find a way to do it alone, because none of it was worth losing Lucy. He had to find a way to get her to forgive him and understand everything, even though half of it he didn't understand himself. He just had to, because he loved her and he loved being with her. More than she knew.
When Gajeel came out of the shower, he'd expected to find Levy on the lounge with either a book or one (or both) of the twins if they'd decided to wake up and be a giant pain in his ass. It was frustrating as all hell when they cried, but Levy did a much better job of calming them down than he did, and she could always get them back asleep much faster than he ever could.
What he didn't expect to find though, was a blonde crying on his lounge, and Levy doing her best to console a grown woman rather than a newborn. But, seeing Lucy on his lounge and crying, Gajeel quickly realised that she was crying because of her idiotic boyfriend he called his best friend (apart from his cat who was definitely not as fun as a normal feline). He couldn't help but feel a little curious as to why Lucy was crying though.
So slowly, Gajeel moved down into their warm living room after checking in on the twins (who were thankfully asleep and would hopefully stay that way for a couple more hours), and he quietly sat down on the armchair as he picked his phone up from the table that sat between the lounges. He continued to listen to Lucy going on about how she was stupid and Bickslow was stupid – though Gajeel could only see the latter as being warranted – as he silently opened up his messages, just to open up his conversation with Bickslow before quickly typing out a message.
Why is Bunny crying on my lounge? What the hell did you do?
As soon as it was sent, he dropped his phone to his lap and he went back to listening to the women on his lounge. It was only after Lucy continued to splutter about how Bickslow was an idiot and she couldn't understand why he wouldn't just talk to her, Levy tried to tell her he just needed to realise what he'd done, and after Bickslow replied with 'something stupid' did Gajeel realise he was totally lost and there was more to the story that he really wanted to know.
When there was a break in the crying and ice-cream eating (which he did not entirely understand why it was necessary), with Levy only holding her best friend as she cried on her shoulder, Gajeel quietly cleared his throat and asked, "What exactly happened?"
Levy sighed as she continued to rub the blonde's back, and knowing that Lucy wasn't exactly going to be able to get an answer out, she did so for her. "Bickslow told her that he loves her before he went to work, and then Lucy told him that she loves him when he got back this evening. Except Bicks is being stupid and he doesn't believe that Lucy actually loves him because he thinks it's way too early for that. Which, it kind of is, but that's not the point." She paused just as she felt Lucy shrug – the blonde knew too well she'd fallen for Bickslow far too quickly, but she hadn't been able to help it. With another sigh, Levy continued, "So now they're fighting about it all because Bicks wants to ignore it all and he doesn't want to talk about how he was apparently in love with her before any of it happened or something, but Lucy wants to talk. So yeah. That's what happened."
"Right," Gajeel muttered. Not only was he completely convinced that Bickslow was a moron, but he was also convinced Lucy was being a bit of an idiot too. Just a little bit, though. But, that wasn't what was important, and he wasn't exactly going to straight out call an obviously upset – and pregnant – woman an idiot.
He was, however, going to try his best to carefully help her understand a couple of things. Or at least get her close to understanding, just so she could get off his lounge so he could go back to killing Natsu and Gray over and over in his online shooting games. He picked up his phone again then though and went back to his conversation with Bickslow, and he quickly typed out another message.
You're a bigger idiot than Salamander.
How long?
He had to call him out on being an idiot. Lucy, no way, but Bickslow? Idiot wasn't harsh enough, but it would suffice. Besides, he could tell the former Seith mage was already well aware of how much of a moron he was being with the entire thing, and as much as he loved really pissing off the guy, just because Bickslow was his best friend and that's what they did, Gajeel sensed that the guy really didn't need to feel any worse than he probably already was.
That, and he really wanted to know how long the man had been in love with her, because even though it had quite obviously gone over Lucy's head (or at least it looked like it had), Gajeel had quickly understood it. He had to admit that he was more than curious about that though, considering Bickslow had never even really said anything about liking her, and Gajeel had asked that on multiple occasions just because of how much he'd seen Bickslow attempt to hit on her (or piss her off. He couldn't tell sometimes).
So before Bickslow could even respond to that message, Gajeel turned his attention to Lucy, and he carefully began, "I'm not exactly on anyone's side here, because I have no interest in actually gettin' involved, but… You do realise Bicks is a guy, right? Guys don't like talking 'bout their feelings and all that. Get him drunk and he won't shut up though, so if you wanna talk to the guy, give him somethin' to drink."
"But I shouldn't have to do that just to get him to talk to me for five minutes," Lucy whispered. "We shouldn't have to talk about it at all, but he's just being so frustrating."
"Well, I dunno," he shrugged. "Why don't ya just kiss the guy and skip the entire talking thing or somethin'? Win-win for everyone?"
Levy sighed. "She technically tried that already."
Gajeel rolled his eyes as he picked up his phone again. He'd already run out of ideas in an attempt to be helpful. "You two are just fuckin' ridiculous," he muttered under his breath. "Fighting about being in love with each other. Wow." His best friend was quite possibly the biggest moron in the entire world because he didn't want to talk or even listen to his own girlfriend, and Lucy was just avoiding the entire situation (that shouldn't be a situation at all) just as much as he was. They were both being far too stubborn for their own good, and because of it, he was missing out on shooting people and blowing things up.
He looked down to the phone again as it vibrated, and he read the message on the screen.
Too long.
Does she hate me?
So obviously, Bickslow knew exactly what Gajeel had meant when he'd asked how long, and a simple answer was enough. But did Lucy hate Bickslow? Gajeel didn't think so. Sure, she was a little mad at the guy and more than a little frustrated with him, but Gajeel could see that as being just a little warranted. Still, if she truly loved him like she said she did – and like Bickslow refused to believe – then she didn't hate him.
Not that Gajeel would tell Bickslow that. Oh no. He would let the guy suffer until he came to his senses, just because he was his friend. Hopefully though, that would be by the time Lucy did the same and she went home, just so she could go sort out the ridiculousness that was whatever they were doing.
For now, though, Gajeel was just going to put his phone on silent and listen to the blonde cry and bitch about her idiotic boyfriend. He figured it should prove to be at least a little entertaining for a while.
By the time Lucy got back, feeling just a little unwell from eating far too much ice-cream and way too many chocolate chip cookies (not that she regretted a single one of those cookies, or a single scoop of ice-cream), she was also feeling just a little guilty. She was still frustrated with him, but she felt just a little bad. Maybe leaving hadn't been such the best idea. Maybe she should have stayed and listened to what Bickslow had been willing to say, or maybe she really should have just dropped it.
She knew she'd overreacted just a little bit, but that was only because it had hurt. The first time she tells anyone other than her best friends or her family than she loves them, and it goes horribly, horribly wrong. But she still felt the need to apologise, just because she'd already come to realise she hated fighting with Bickslow. She would apologise for overreacting and storming out like she had if it meant things could go back to being somewhat normal.
As she walked into the apartment and got closer to Ingrid's room, she could hear Bickslow's soft voice coming from inside as he read to Ingrid. It was a lot later (or only really an hour as it turns out) than what she was usually in bed by, but it didn't matter in the slightest. As she walked past the door, she glanced in to see Bickslow on the chair in one corner with Ingrid on his lap as he held the book in front of her, and as he looked up for a second while turning the page, a soft smile quickly graced her lips, and then she looked back down to the ground as she walked down to their room.
Bickslow had heard her come home, but he'd half expected her to completely ignore him at least until morning. And, he knew he'd deserve it. Bickslow was painfully aware of how much he'd screwed up – not by telling her that he loved her that morning, but it was with everything else he'd said. If she hated him, he would only hate himself more, and part of him expected that she did.
He knew he needed to apologise though. He would apologise a million times and then some if he thought saying it more than once would help, because he needed to tell her that he was sorry for everything else he'd said. He wanted to talk about it all, even though he was more than terrified of explaining something that was more than a little weird and he was a little worried about it just causing more problems. But, he had to do it, and only if Lucy wanted to listen.
If Lucy didn't want to talk about any of it anymore and sort everything out, then he wouldn't talk about it. He would keep it all to himself and deal with how fucking miserable it would make him to know that he'd truly ruined one of the best parts about his life.
But, he still had a little bit of hope. Bickslow wanted to believe that Lucy would forgive him for hurting her, because he knew that he had, and that she would let him explain everything. He wanted to believe that she still loved him, because he knew she had meant it. It had taken Bickslow two hours of talking to a seven month old to get everything in order in his head, but he did it. Eventually. It didn't matter that he really didn't have any idea as to how she'd managed to fall in love with him that quickly, because Bickslow knew she didn't lie. She always meant what she said, but he'd forgotten that when he really shouldn't have. If he'd just believed her, none of it would have happened and they wouldn't be fighting.
So as soon as he'd finished the last few pages of the book he'd been reading to Ingrid and he'd put her down for bed, he slowly went down to the end of the hall. Lucy was sitting on the edge of the bed when he got there, looking down to her hands in her lap, and silently, Bickslow sat down beside her and crossed his legs beneath himself as he looked down to his own hands. The silence that followed was almost deafening. Both had things they needed to say, but neither wanted to be the one to break the silence. The seconds felt impossibly long and each one made things feel worse.
But then Bickslow looked to the side when he couldn't take the silence any longer, and quietly, he asked, "Can we talk?"
"I didn't think you wanted to," Lucy mumbled, continuing to stare down at her hands.
"I didn't," he admitted as he looked back down to his crossed legs again. "But… Now I do. I need to. If you don't want to though, then we won't. I get it."
Lucy only briefly glanced to the side. Part of her was glad that Bickslow wanted to talk now, but she couldn't help but feel worried about what it was he wanted to say. It wasn't about Lucy not wanting to talk about any of it, because she still did; she knew they needed to. She was just a little scared. With a quiet sigh, she began, "I do, I just… I just need to say something first." No matter what, there were things she needed to get out, just in case she couldn't say them later.
She waited until Bickslow nodded, and then after another short moment where she did her best to just push all of her fear aside, she began again, "I want to apologise for overreacting before. I… I shouldn't have acted like that, and I probably shouldn't have left like I did, but… I did, and I'm sorry." She only paused for another brief moment, and before Bickslow could say anything, she said just as quietly as before, "And I know that you don't believe me, but I do love you. I know that I probably shouldn't because it really hasn't been long at all, but… I do. I meant it, and I just needed to say it again because I really wish you would just believe me."
"I do believe you," Bickslow said quickly. "I believe you, and… And I'm sorry that I didn't before, because if I had, then I wouldn't have made things worse and we wouldn't be fighting about it, and I really, really hate that we are at all."
"Me too," she whispered, just the smallest of smiles on her lips from Bickslow finally believing her.
Bickslow sighed as he continued to stare down at his hands. He really was not looking forward to what he had to say, but he still knew he had to say all of it, no matter how uncomfortable it made him. But just knowing that Lucy did love him and she didn't hate him (or at least he didn't think she did) was in the back of his head and reminding him that talking was a good idea. He had to, because it was the only way to fix things, and that was what he needed to do. He'd screwed things up, and he had to gets everything back to normal while he still could.
So when the silence and seconds became impossibly uncomfortable and long again, he finally decided to open his mouth and just get it all out there. "When I said it this morning, I meant it. I really didn't mean to say it, but I still meant it, because I love you. A lot. And I've been in love with you for a while, but I'm so useless and terrible when it comes to things like this that I didn't even realise that I had been for way longer than I thought until I read that stupid book."
"… The book?" Lucy asked as she finally looked to Bickslow. Maybe it was because she was tired, or maybe it was because Bickslow wasn't making all that much sense, but whatever the case, she was just a little confused by what Bickslow was saying.
"Your book," he said. "Turns out not all of it is entirely fiction. Or it's just one giant coincidence or something. I don't even know, just like I didn't even know that I was already in love with you until I read the thing."
Lucy couldn't keep the smile off her face as she slowly pieced it together in her head, and she was suddenly forgetting just how frustrated and hurt she was. "So you loved me before any of this even happened?" she whispered, fighting the urge to just sit up slightly and throw her arms around him.
Bickslow nodded. "Apparently. I just always thought it was something else, because I guess I always cared about you and I didn't want to hurt you again, even though both times we ever fought, you totally kicked my ass. I just didn't think it was even possible for me to actually be in love with you, let alone like you, because we didn't even talk or anything," he said quickly just as he brought his legs up and kept his ankles crossed, resting his arms over his knees. "But I didn't even want you finding out about any of this, because it's weird and none of it really makes any sense, but I have to tell you because me not wanting to talk about anything was what caused all of this in the first place, and I'm really sorry. For all of it. I didn't want to hurt you again, and I know that I did."
"It's okay… But you know, I think all of this was because of you anyway."
"I know. I fucked up. I don't even know why you thought you needed to apologise either, because I was being an idiot and—"
"That's not what I mean," she laughed quietly, only to get a look of total confusion from Bickslow when he finally turned to face her again. "I mean all of this. Everything. Being here."
He only blinked at her as his brow creased, before he mumbled, "Alright, I'm totally lost now." Something was his fault, and he really didn't know what it was. But it was just as Lucy was about to start talking did they hear a cry coming from just down the hall, and both their trains of thought were halted. Without a word though, their conversation temporarily ceased, and Ingrid's crying only managed to get louder as they sat there and waited for her to soothe herself.
But Bickslow knew it wasn't going to happen, and so did Lucy. Ingrid was never fussy when it came to going to sleep, but that day, Lucy had had more than a little trouble with her. Even when it came to her naps, she wasn't falling asleep, and both times Lucy had given up and just held her until she'd fallen asleep – and it worked out, because she got at least a little bit of rest). What it was that had her in such a bad mood that day though (though Lucy noticed it had only been as soon as Bickslow had left, too, which she found just a little frustrating), Lucy just didn't know.
So when Bickslow was convinced she wasn't going to stop crying any time soon, he quickly got up from the bed and went back down the hall and into the bright yellow nursery. Ingrid had never been one for crying all that much, as far as they knew, but on the occasions she did, Bickslow hated it. He loathed the sound, just because she was usually always really happy, and that was something they both loved. And even when she did cry, they could tell what it was about and they could quickly get her back to the smiling and giggling baby they adored. But right then though, Bickslow had no idea whatsoever, and that was something he definitely did not like.
What he did know (and like) though, was that she seemed to calm down considerably as soon as he was holding her and had walked around the room a few times. Bickslow could still tell that something was irritating her and that she really didn't seem all that tired, which he thought was just a little strange, but he would just have to see how she went before he began to worry if there was actually something wrong.
By the time Bickslow came back down the hall, Ingrid still in his arms, Lucy was lying back on the bed, slightly curled up and with her head on her pillows. Walking around to his own side of the bed, he gently placed Ingrid down in front of Lucy, and he smiled when Lucy's hand went out to rest over Ingrid. "So…" he began, carefully settling himself on the bed on the other side of Ingrid. "What exactly were you blaming me for?"
"I wasn't blaming you for anything," she said softly as a warm heat crept onto her cheeks. "I was just thinking… Maybe you being in love with me before any of this happened is why things are like this. You know, maybe it's why you and I are together and married in this world…"
Bickslow had to admit that considering all things, it did kind of make sense. Mira and Laxus had been together in what had been called Magnolia 1.0, Gajeel and Levy had sort of been together, Lisanna had always kind of liked Natsu, and then everyone else who had ended up together or remained together… Maybe it really was why they were together in that world. Maybe they'd found themselves in that entire situation together because he'd been in love with her the entire time? That, Bickslow actually wanted to believe. He'd always wondered just why it had been Lucy, but what if that was why?
"Maybe," he murmured. "But why exactly aren't you completely freaking out right now? Or hating me? You should be at least freaking out a little bit considering I basically just said I always loved you… And yeah, I really did just say the exact same thing as I did in your book." It wasn't all that intentional though. He had quickly come to realise that it was true, but it sounded incredibly stupid. But Bickslow had also quickly realised it was worth feeling stupid over saying it, just because it made Lucy laugh.
"Because I just don't care," she answered. She didn't think it was all that weird, and she really liked it for some reason. "Besides, I realised that I was falling in love with you on your birthday, and then that I actually had when you were in Crocus."
"That was… Wow, my birthday was nearly a month ago."
"I know."
Bickslow was almost dumbfounded. Happy, and also incredibly amazed. He was only just coming to terms that Lucy loved him. She actually loved him. That fact he'd managed to get her to fall for him way too quickly was completely irrelevant. He just wanted to know how it had happened. "… How?"
"Are you really asking me that?" she asked, her lips only twitching slightly in amusement.
"I might be," he chuckled. Could he even ask that? He was so completely hopeless when it came to anything close to relationships and he was still figuring it all out as he went. "You know, and why, because I mean, I'm me, and you're you, and just…" Oh, he was just far too excited then, and he was more than happy with everything that he just didn't know what to do with himself. All he could think of was just to lean forward and over Ingrid and just kiss Lucy, and as soon as he did, he was sure he could never get sick of that. So when he pulled away, he said the only words that were floating around his head at that point. "I love you."
Lucy just found it all entertaining though. She'd come to find how Bickslow's moods could change so quickly more than interesting, and he truly was far too adorable when he had his moments where he got just a tad excited. But… As for why she loved Bickslow, well… Lucy had realised it just came down to Bickslow being who he was. That's just how simple it was for her. "I love you too," she whispered, and to say it when she knew that he finally believed her had her feeling happier than she had all day. That was how she'd wanted to feel when she'd said it earlier, but she would take it then. "And I love you because you're amazing. And you're a dork."
"I've never been prouder to be a dork," he laughed.
She rolled her eyes as she moved closer to Bickslow, Ingrid still between them. "And that's exactly why I love you," she sighed, lifting her head just enough to rest by his shoulder as he moved. "Gajeel says we're ridiculous by the way."
"We kind of are though."
"Just a little bit," she giggled. "But you know this was our first actual fight right? You know, as a couple. And it really was completely ridiculous." Of course, she was still more than glad that it was over and everything was back to being great (more than great, really). But still, their first fight had been over something completely idiotic. She was very grateful that it had come to an end very quickly too.
He laughed when he realised Lucy was right though. He knew that it was his fault, and he felt more than a little guilty over it happening at all, but he couldn't help but find the amusement in how their first fight had been because he was refusing to talk about being in love with her. But, he realised it was a ridiculousness only they could pull off, and that's what made it so great, considering the circumstances. "More than a little ridiculous. But… There is an upside to fighting…"
Knowing Bickslow, Lucy could tell exactly where he was going with it, and so when she looked up, she wasn't the least bit surprised to see that mischievous smirk in place. She loved how things were going back to normal so quickly. Far too much. "And what exactly is that?" she asked coyly.
"Make-up sex is a thing."
And there it is… "Not tonight, it's not."
"I know," he chuckled. "But this is so much better anyway." Make-up cuddling with his girlfriend and daughter was definitely better than anything. Or at least, it would be for the next seventeen days. "But hey… Quick question…"
"Mm-hmm."
"You're still my partner in crime, right?"
Lucy could only smile playfully as she closed her eyes, and then she murmured, "For now."