This is rather late and I've been awake for nineteen hours but I need to get this freaking chapter out at least close to being on schedule.
Terezi bolts upright in her cocoon. Despite the warmth of the respiteblock, she's shivering. She wraps her arms around her legs and tries not to think about her nightmare.
Of course, the more she tries not to think about it, the more she ends up thinking about it.
The nightmare was defined by pain. A sword in her gut, placed there by a mind under control… a matching wound in the chest of a friend… surging pain that obliterated everything, that shattered reality into shivs of glass. Teal blood on a red scarf. A hole through the heart. Screams, laughter, honks, a strangled grin, teeth where they don't belong.
As the seconds pass, the details blend into a shapeless monstrosity. Terezi cowers from it. She covers her head with her headcushion and whimpers, helpless to battle the internal threat. Sleep evades her. All that remains, all that she can see is her mind, her mind and the fear it holds.
Terezi feels a compelling need to be hugged. But she resists the temptation, since it's the middle of the arbitrarily-defined night and she'd rather not wake anyone up.
After what feels like hours, or perhaps decades, the fear fades. However, she's been awake for long enough to not be tired. So she sits upright and thinks.
Their ship is closing in on the planet on which Dirk landed. They'll have to battle him, since he won't go down without a fight. Considering that he's reached Ultimate Tier, that Rose is nearly there herself and is likely brainwashed, and that they probably have an inordinate number of robots with them, it's a fight that needs to be mapped out.
Suddenly, Terezi finds herself caught up in a torrent of images and timelines. The mental bombardment continues for a minute or so, then stops as abruptly as it began.
She needs to take several minutes to digest all the new information. But by the end of it, she knows exactly what she needs to do.
Terezi climbs out of her cocoon. Where can she find paper? Or anything to write on?
She tears a couple of pages out of the spaceship user manual. She writes a note on them with a piece of green chalk. She leaves the papers on her headcushion and climbs down to the main living space. The fenestrated plane is propped up where Roxy left it, back when the Great Space Road Trip was still new and exciting.
Terezi's almost grateful for the excuse to leave these cramped quarters.
Oh, she almost forgot. Terezi scrambles back upstairs and deposits her jetpack and phone at the foot of her cocoon. She removes the wallet from her captchalogue and examines it. After a moment, she stows it away again.
She climbs back down, grabs a battery pack, and plugs in the window. It comes to life with a low electrical hum.
Terezi chuckles to herself. She supposes that Scourge Sisters think alike.
She leaps through the fenestrated plane, breaking the glass. The battery pack comes unplugged, and the portal cuts off.
A muffled crash of breaking glass rouses Karkat from slumber. He yawns, nuzzles into Dave's side, and goes back to sleep.
Kanaya is first to wake up in the morning, as usual. Upon climbing out of her cocoon, she notices that the one beneath her is empty, though unmade. (It's never made.) What's more, Terezi's stuff is on it, along with a couple of sheets of paper. With growing concern, she picks up the paper and reads it.
"YOUR3 R34D1NG TH1S B3C4US3 1 JUST Y33T3D MYS3LF THROUGH TH3 F3N3STR4T3D PL4N3"
Kanaya stops reading. Her mouth drops open. She calls, "Guys Wake Up You Need To Listen To This"
Roxy groans and rolls over, half his body hanging over the edge of his cocoon. "wut"
"Just Get Up"
Roxy spills over the edge and lands on the floor with a thud.
"Dave And Karkat Neither Of You Are Exempt From This"
Karkat and Dave begrudgingly climb down from their cocoon. Dave rubs his eyes beneath his shades. "why the hail did you wake us up i was in the middle of a kickaxe dream"
"NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR FORKING DREAM, DAVE."
"not so loud i literally just woke up"
"guus liek whastu p"
Kanaya clears her throat. "Are All Of You Fully Awake"
Dave grimaces. "give us all a good once over and youll answer your own question"
Karkat yawns.
Kanaya grows annoyed at the sudden turn to bathos which has occurred. "Just Listen To This Goddamp Message" She reads the first sentence of the letter over again, this time out loud.
"YOUR3 R34D1NG TH1S B3C4US3 1 JUST Y33T3D MYS3LF THROUGH TH3 F3N3STR4T3D PL4N3"
There's a moment of silence.
"... WHAT" is all Karkat can manage.
"hloy scnits treezi did wnt?A?" exclaims Roxy.
Dave glances around the room, as though to verify that Terezi is indeed missing. "is that all" he asks.
Kanaya shakes her head and continues to read. "R3L4X. 1 KNOW WH4T 1M DO1NG. 1F JOHN C4N TRUST M3 TO G3T H1M TO R3TCON TH3 T1M3L1N3 PROP3RLY, TH3N YOU C4N TRUST TH4T 1 D1D TH1S FOR 4 V3RY GOOD R34SON"
Roxy's eyes widen. "oh frok tsih cant mena ayhntihgng odod"
"WHAT THE HAIL ARE YOU EVEN SAYING?"
"sry im treid ill rieotretat
"*eritereat
"**RETEREIAET
"fckti
"i siad. this. cnat. mean, anythngi. hood."
Kanaya ignores him and continues. "NOW 1 N33D YOU TO OB3Y MY COMM4NDS TO TH3 L3TT3R"
"OH, SO NOW TEREZI'S ORDERING US AROUND?" Karkat complains.
"for the love of obama karkat shut up and listen to the forking letter"
"MY J3TP4CK GO3S TO K4N4Y4. SH3 N33DS 4 W4Y TO FLY 4ROUND TH3 PL4N3T"
Karkat opens his mouth in protest. Kanaya smirks.
"1 KNOW YOUR3 COMPL41N1NG, K4RK4T. SHUT UP. YOU C4N R1D3 ON D4V3. DOUBL3 3NT3NDR3 1NT3ND3D. 1TS NOT L1K3 TH3R3 4R3 4NY S3CR3TS ON TH1S GODD4MP ROCK3T 4NYW4Y"
Now it's time for Dave to open his mouth in protest. Roxy giggles. "llo ogttem"
"SHUT UP, COTTON CANDY SONOFABIRCH."
Karkat's exclamation only makes him laugh harder. Kanaya ignores the peanut gallery and continues.
"D4V3 N33DS TO W34R H1S GODT13R COSTUM3"
Dave sighs heavily. "oh you gotta be kidding me"
"TRUST M3, 1TLL S4V3 YOUR FORK1NG L1F3"
"u ehaed the gal doi t" comments Roxy.
Dave sighs again. "fine i guess if its that important"
"ye ew sohuild porbs b pyanig coles tatenoitn 2 dis shicst"
"WHAT?"
"we shoujld pay closed tanetion2 terrrreeeeeeeee-" Roxy trails off and ends in a massive yawn.
Kanaya decides to keep on reading.
"DONT YOU D4R3 OP3N MY PHON3. 1 M34N 1T. B4D TH1NGS W1LL H4PP3N 1F YOU DO. DONT 3V3N R34D TH3 1NCOM1NG M3SS4G3S. BUT K4RK4T N33DS TO T4K3 1T W1TH H1M"
Just then, Terezi's phone buzzes. Everyone stares at it for a moment. Then Karkat picks it up and captchalogues it.
"PUT J4D3 1N TH3 3NG1N3BLOCK" continues Kanaya.
"WHAT? WHY?"
"1TS S4F3ST FOR H3R TH3R3. SH3 N33DS TO B3 PROT3CT3D"
Dave raises his hand. "i dont know an awful lot about protecting people in magically induced comas but sticking one in the engine room does not seem like a good idea"
Kanaya nods. "I Know Terezi Wants Us To Put Her In There But I Agree With Dave On His Judgment Call"
"LISTEN," says Karkat, "IF TEREZI THINKS IT'S SO IMPORTANT FOR HER TO GO IN THERE, WE OUGHT TO PUT HER THERE."
"ye urr iet"
Kanaya continues reading, to see if there's clarification. "YOU DONT N33D TO CH3CK 1N ON H3R 4FT3RW4RDS, BUT BR1NG H3R TH3R3 4S SOON 4S YOUR3 DON3 R34D1NG MY L3TT3R. BR1NG TH3 PL4N3 TH3R3 TOO"
They all look at each other.
"We Can Debate On What To Do Later But For Now Lets Finish The Letter"
"YOUR3 GO1NG TO 3NT3R D1RKS SPH3R3 OF N4RR4T1V3 1NFLU3NC3 SOON. SO 4BOV3 4LL, DONT TRUST YOUR 1MPULS3S. DONT 4CT ON 1NST1NCT. TH4TS WH3R3 D1RK G3TS YOU. TH1NK 4BOUT WH4T YOU WOULD DO 1N TH1S C1RCUMST4NC3 4ND GO FROM TH3R3"
Dave nods. "sage advice"
"WAIT, DIDN'T YOU SAY BEFORE THAT YOU KIND OF KNEW THAT DIRK WAS CONTROLLING YOU INTO MAKING A MOVE ON ME?"
"yeah the reason i knew that something was up was cuz i would never do that"
Karkat gives him a look.
"well i mean i wouldnt have done that back then"
Roxy elbows Dave and winks.
"OH ON3 MOR3 TH1NG. ROXY, YOU N33D TO PUT TH3 BUNNY B4CK 1N TH3 BOX"
Kanaya rubs her eyes, then stares at the paper.
"Do Any Of You Have Any Idea What That Means"
"oh thats a quote from that movie that john likes"
Roxy nods. "itkl prbos meak mor esens ehwen its larte"
"IF I UNDERSTAND CORRECTLY, YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT IT'LL MAKE SENSE LATER, AND I AGREE WITH THAT SENTIMENT. IF YOU'RE JUST SPEWING SLEEP-DEPRIVED BULLSCHIST, WHICH IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE DOING, THEN SHUT UP."
"tahts wat i menat tho"
Kanaya finishes off the letter. "DONT L3T TH1S F1GHT B3 FOR NOTH1NG. K1CK 4X3 OUT TH3R3 GUYS :]"
The four friends look at each other, not sure if they're ready for what's to come. Despite the informative letter, or perhaps because of it, they're uncertain about the future. The reality of what they're about to attempt has been hanging over their heads like a hovering anvil in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon, but it's only now that gravity has been reactivated and the anvil has begun to fall.
They may as well prepare for its arrival in the best way of which they know: by debating over the ethics and logistics of shoving a possessed comatose furry into an engine room at the direction of a prophetic chalk note scribbled by a blind alien.
(Spoiler alert: they ignored Terezi and stuck Jade and the dimensional window in the very small closet.)
"Are we ready for reentry?"
I stand in the cockpit of my spaceship, hands pressed against the console. Rosebot stands fifteen feet to my right. Her hands are plugged into specially-shaped slots in the console.
"Give it a couple more minutes. I'm calculating the optimal speed and trajectory of reentry, based on the atmospheric conditions of Beforus. It's crucial work."
"I know." I keep my impatience tamped down. To distract myself, I look out of the viewport and admire my new planet.
Beforus is a rocky planet, smaller than Earth, with reddish land and scattered patches of water. Thin white clouds swirl around it. It's orbited by a single, tiny moon, shaped more like a packing peanut than anything. Apparently, it's suitable for habitation by carbon-based life forms, if colder than Earth ever was. It's vaguely reminiscent of how Mars looked before the Condesce blew it up in a self-aggrandizing show of destructive pyrotechnics.
I know the intricacies of my plan inside and out, and Rosebot has recorded transcripts of any conversation in which she's ever participated. So I don't feel the need to discuss it with her. But, for the sake of narratorial convenience, and also because I love hearing myself talk, I'll walk you through it, one last time.
We're going to establish an advanced civilisation on Beforus, but not personally. We're just here to install some machinery, deploy the robots, and use ectobiology to make a few higher life forms. Then we're going to leave. I have more important things to attend to. A hate-date with an undead cherub, for instance.
I bet you're wondering why I would go through the extraneous process of establishing a civilisation on this planet if I don't intend on presiding over it. I do intend to rule Beforus, though I don't think myself suited for tyrannical leadership. That position goes more naturally to my old friend Jane. The thing is, Beforus needs to be inhabited. Why? Because there's Sburb technology on it. Because the people who live there need to play a game. They need to play the most important game in the history of all the universes I've known. The one that begins the cycle. The one that ends it. The one that will produce four of the most powerful players ever known. What more could you expect from a 48-player session?
And I intend to rule over these people so that they might be best prepared to play this stupid game.
No, we're not making these people from scratch. Why should we, when we have two examples of sapient life present from which we may sample? Why reinvent the wheel?
Okay, I admit that my initial plan was to create life forms that were a combination of troll and human. That did not work out.
You're probably wondering how I got the sample troll and human genetic materials. It's a long story. I don't feel like going into it. Besides, I'm sure you'd rather hear about how we're going to make sure we create a society on Beforus without need for our personal interference.
That's where the robots come in. Have you ever heard of the classic movie Wall-E, in which the robots clean up a trash-ridden Earth while the humans are incapable of doing so? Well, I took a leaf out of Pixar's book. I have constructed an army of rabbit robots which will care for the new humans and trolls and use ectobiology to create more, until a proper society has been established on Beforus.
Why rabbits, you ask? Well, they appear cute and harmless, which makes them easily underestimated. My models are also incredibly durable, capable of functioning for thousands of years if my calculations are correct. (Which they tend to be.) Plus, I had already made a bunch of them. Waste not, want not.
I've programmed the rabbits so that they will properly care for the young humans and trolls until they reach maturity. I have also given them basic knowledge about how society functions, which they can use to reconstruct an Alternia-like culture in which the humans and trolls can best thrive and become suited to complete their game. Some of how the culture will function I've left up to the rabbits to decide. I trust the judgment of AI.
I've repurposed a large quantity of them to act as an impromptu militia, just in case any people wish to stop us. Not that anyone ever could, of course. I know we're being followed, but they'll fail. It's impossible for them to succeed. I've made sure of it.
I'll win. Really, that's a reward in of itself, being me and winning this game of chess I've been playing with myself.
And if I happen to lose? It won't happen. But let's say the impossible comes true. That means I'll die. So, I daresay I'll win in both scenarios.
"Entering the atmosphere now," Rosebot says. "Brace yourself."
I sit down and watch the Beforan landscape come slowly into view. Flames from the heat of reentry flicker at the edges of the viewport, making the red earth look redder.
It's a beautiful planet. Too bad I'll have to leave it soon. But at least I know it'll be in good hands. Or paws.