H3Y C4LL1OP3, WH1L3 YOUR3 H3R3, 1 N3V3R PROP3RLY TH4NK3D YOU FOR 4. H3LP1NG M3 UND13 4ND B. T34CH1NG M3 HOW TO DO N4RR4T1V3 SCH1ST
your priceless assistance in ridding this universe of the prince's instance is all the thanks i need. you have all been an enormous help. please pass on my gratitude to the other seer and to the thief.
W1LL DO
now, all i have left to do is purge his ultimate self from his remaining incarnations. i have no more need to maintain a presence here, and you no longer need to assist me.
farewell.
OK4Y 1M LOGG1NG OUT NOW TOO G4M3RS
this. this is why you needed to fill this role. good lord, seer. you're nearly as annoying as my brother is.
:]
Terezi walks over to Dirk's body and prods it with her cane. It doesn't move.
"IS HE DEAD?" asks Karkat.
"S33MS L1K3"
"good fking ridsance" says Roxy.
Rose stares at her ectofather's corpse. She's utterly motionless for a minute or so. Then she kicks it in the ribs. She grabs Dirk's shirt collar, lifts it into the air, and punches its face over and over and over. She hurls the body out of the ship and lets out an anguished scream.
Terezi, Dave, Karkat, and Roxy all back up a step.
Kanaya simply shakes her head. She exhibits a look of combined awe, embarrassment, and guilt. She haltingly approaches Rose. It appears as though she wants to say something, but she can't bring herself to do so.
"hey guys where the hail are we?"
Everybody whips around to look at Jade, who somehow boarded the ship without anyone noticing. She's very disoriented, but her eyes are no longer black.
"also why was i shut in a closet with a broken window?" She holds up the fenestrated plane through which Terezi jumped about three weeks ago. "and bungee strapped to a chair?"
Nobody moves for a moment. Then Roxy sweeps up Jade into a bear hug, lifting the taller human off of her feet.
"omfg jade thank god ur ok!"
"roxy youre crushing me! :O"
He gently lets Jade down. She starts to walk over to Dave and Karkat, but she turns to look at Roxy again. She gives him a thorough once-over.
"y-you look good"
Roxy tips his shades. "thank u B)"
Karkat elbows Dave and whispers, "(I SWEAR TO FORKING OBAMA, IF SHE DRAGS ROXY INTO THIS SCHISTFEST…)"
"(roxy is my mom and dad so she better not)" he responds. "(and how dare you take obamas name in vain)"
Roxy coughs after an awkwardly quiet moment. "how bout we chart a course 4 hone"
Rose and Kanaya finally break eye contact. "That would be a beneficial course of action."
"im on it" Roxy heads to the bridge. Jade's eyes follow him as he goes.
Kanaya turns back to her matesprit. She finally manages to articulate words. "I Failed You"
Rose's expression softens. "No, I failed you."
"But I Abandoned You When You Needed My Help Most"
"You can't blame yourself for letting Dirk manipulate you. You know that's not your fault."
"Then Why Are You Blaming Yourself For The Same Thing Happening To You"
Rose's jaw tightens. "It's not the same thing. Dirk didn't just mind-control me; he brainwashed me. He reprogrammed my thoughts. And I allowed that to happen. I should have known."
"But You Couldnt Have Known" Kanaya rests her hand on her shoulder. "Youve Told Me Before That You Cant Know Everything"
Rose stares at the ground. "That doesn't mean I can't try."
"Please Dont Talk Like This Rose Remember That This Is The Reasoning That Led You To…" Kanaya trails off and looks at the floor.
"... to go grimdark," Rose finishes. "But I won't let myself do that again." She looks up at her wife. "Not so long as you're around to anchor me."
"Ill Always Be Here For You Rose" Kanaya smiles. "Ill Never Give Up On You And Ill Never Abandon You Again"
Their fingers interlace. Rose's smile fades when she looks at her hand.
"My ring is missing."
"Its Almost Certainly On This Ship So Well Find It" Kanaya pulls Rose closer. "But Its Only A Ring And Losing It Isnt The End Of The World"
Rose shrugs. "We ought to get our vows renewed anyway. Till death do us part, remember? I was technically killed and resurrected just now. Though, I suppose, given the existence of the dreambubbles, at least their previous existence, the concept of death as a whole ought to be reconsidered…"
Kanaya shakes her head. "I Love You But You Talk Too Much"
Rose smirks. "As the saying goes, it takes one to know one."
"Oh My It Is Your Human Sarcasm Again"
Rose laughs and kisses her.
With that, Terezi decides to head to the bridge. The adorasadness of their conversation was starting to wear on her, though not as much as it normally would have. She finds that there's a hole in her heart that has been there for so long that it became almost normal to her. Seeing Rose and Kanaya's reunion aggravated the wound.
She takes out her phone and dials (Vriska).
Terezi: 1T WORK3D
Terezi: YOU D1D 1T YOU CR4ZY SON OF 4 B1RCH!
(Vriska): Gr8!
Terezi: C4LL1OP3 S4YS TH4NKS
Terezi: T3LL ROS3 TH4T TOO
(Vriska): Uh….. a8out that…..
Terezi: 4H J33Z WH4T D1D YOU DO
(Vriska): She… died not long after we sent the message.
Terezi: OH
Terezi: OH TH4T SUCKS
(Vriska): 8ut is she at least all right on your end?
Terezi: Y34H SH3S F1N3
Terezi: SH3 H1T ULT1M4T3 T13R OR SOM3 SCH1ST
Terezi: HOLY FORK TH4T W4S 4W3SOM3
(Vriska): I 8et!
(Vriska): Oh, hold on, Kanaya wants me to put you on speakerphone.
Kanaya: Hello Terezi
Terezi: WH4TS UP
Kanaya: Well Aside From My Wife Dying In My Arms
Kanaya: Not Much
Terezi: 1M SORRY
Terezi: MY CONDOL3NC3S OR WH4T3V3R
Terezi: 1 DONT KNOW WH4T 1M SUPPOS3D TO S4Y TO TH1S
Terezi: UM
Terezi: (VR1SK4) G1V3 K4N4Y4 4 HUG FOR M3
(Vriska): You mean, like, right now?
Terezi: NO 1 M34N 1N TW3LV3 Y34RS
Terezi: Y3S R1GHT NOW YOU DUMB4X3
(Vriska): Fine.
Kanaya: Thank You Terezi
(Vriska): Oh for the love of god-tiers, I'M the one hugging you.
Kanaya: Will You Please Shut Up For Once In Your Life
Vriska: I feel Attacked.
Terezi: S1CK BURN :]
Terezi: OH 4ND H3Y TH3R3 OTH3R VR1SK4
Vriska: Good to Meet you, Terezi! ….)
Terezi: 4NYW4Y WHO 3LS3 1S H3R3
(Vriska): Me, Kanaya, R-... uh, Vriska, Jake, and John.
John: hey terezi.
Terezi: OH
Terezi: H1 JOHN
John: …
Terezi: …
Kanaya: So Tell Us How The Battle Went
Relieved to have an excuse to ignore the immense awkwardness of the whole situation, Terezi launches into a summary of the events of the past couple of hours. She finishes shortly after she enters the bridge, where Roxy is puzzling over the controls. After telling the Inverse!Earth squad to "D1SCUSS FR33LY 4MONGST YOURS3LV3S FOR 4 T1M3", she takes the phone away from her ear and approaches him.
"would itve hurt to like label thsee buttons or keep a fkn manial around or smthn" he grumbles.
"N33D 4NY H3LP"
Roxy looks up. "oh sup terezi"
Terezi leans on the console. "YOU LOOK CONFUS3D"
"i totally got this"
"NO YOU DONT"
"shaddup" he says good-naturedly.
"H4 H4 GOOD LUCK G3TT1NG M3 TO DO TH4T"
Ignoring Terezi, Roxy turns back to the control panel.
"J4D3S GOT 1T R3D FOR YOU, YOU KNOW"
He freezes. "u dont have 2 remind md"
"DO3S 1T M4K3 YOU UNCOMFORT4BL3"
"i... dunno what 2 think abt it"
Terezi lays a hand on Roxy's tense shoulder. "W3LL 1F YOU 3V3R W4NN4 T4LK 4BOUT 1T…"
He brushes her away. "hope"
"YOU M34N NOP3?"
Roxy gives her an irritated look. "i meant what i said"
"W3LL YOU S41D HOP3"
"but thats not what i meant 2 say tho"
Terezi furrows her brow. "SO YOU M34N WH4T YOU S4Y BUT YOU DONT M34N WH4T YOU M34N TO S4Y?"
"no the opppsite actually"
It takes Terezi a moment, but she eventually gets it. "OK4Y F41R"
Roxy shrugs. "y dont u get back 2 talking 2 ur gf"
"MY WH4T"
"ur gf! vrisks!" Roxy turns up his palms, as though this should be obvious.
Terezi folds her arms across her chest. "OH NO W3 4R3 NOT 4 'TH1NG'"
"well you should be!" says Jade, picking that precise instant to inform Terezi and Roxy that she is present.
Terezi spins around and gestures at both of them. "W3LL 1TS NOT L1K3 YOU TWO DONT H4V3 R3DROM CH3M1STRY SP3W1NG OUT TH3 FORK1NG LO4D G4P3R"
Roxy and Jade glance at each other. "no we dont!" they say simultaneously.
"MMHMMMM SUUUUUR3" Terezi accompanies the statement with her most insincere grin.
"hey want me to help lift off?" Jade asks. "i can try and use space powers or something"
"fkn go 4 it"
Jade accidentally hits something that starts up a loud klaxon. After five seconds, she switches it off and grimaces. "this might take a while :\"
Roxy turns back to Terezi, wearing a broad smirk. "but u do love her dont u"
Terezi is dumbstruck by the question. Is Roxy referring to moirallegiance or to matespritship? Or both? Heck, what does she even feel? She hasn't given it too much thought. It's not like she needs to yet. After all, (Vriska's) not here. Terezi has been more concerned with finding her than with sorting out their relationship status. Regardless, she has no answer, let alone does she want to disclose one even if she did.
"1 PL34D TH3 TH1RD"
"lolwut"
"you... refuse to quarter troops in your house?" asks a very confused Jade.
Terezi cocks her head at a knowledgeable angle. It's time to educate the ignorant about troll legal procedures. "TH4TS NOT 3V3N R3L3V4NT TO 4LT3RN14. 4LL W4RF4R3 OCCURS OFFWORLD, R3M3MB3R? 1M R3F3RR1NG TO TH3 TH1RD 4DD3NDUM TO TH3 OFF1C14L 4LT3RN14N L3G1SL4C3R4TOR PROC33D1NGS. 1T ST4T3S TH4T TH3 4CCUS3D M4Y R3FUS3 TO SP34K 1N TR14L 1N 3XCH4NG3 FOR 4 H4RSH3R S3NT3NC3 WH3N FOUND GU1LTY"
"when?"
"Y34H, BUT TH3 4CCUS3D 1S GU1LTY UNL3SS PROV3N 1NNOC3NT, SO 1TS NOT COMPL3T3LY GUARANTEED. 1TS G3N3R4LLY S4F3 TO 4SSUM3 TH3 WH3N OF TH31R CONV1CT1ON, THOUGH. R34LLY, TH1S 1S 4LL B4S1C STUFF. 3V3RYON3 KNOWS 4BOUT TH3 GU1LTY UNL3SS PROV3N 1NNOC3NT SCHT1CK"
"its not like that on earth though" interjects Jade, still fiddling with the controls. A burst of confetti falls from the ceiling. "in courts we believe that the defendant is innocent until proven guilty!"
"TH4TS 4 S1SS1F13D W4Y TO RUN 4 COURTROOM"
"chillax were frm dif cultures remember"
"THOUGH CL34RLY TH3 4LT3RN14N L3G4L SYST3M 1S SUP3R1OR" Terezi channels Eridan and feigns a snooty sniff.
It's not until now that she thinks to check in with (Vriska) and the others. She puts the phone back to her ear in time to hear several people yell. Then she hears Jade's voice over the receiver. The latter must evidently have teleported in.
Jade: bad news guys…
John: what's the matter?
Jade: hold on
Jade: whys rose just lying there? what happened to her?
Vriska: She's Dead.
Jade: oh noooo!
Jade: oh thats terrible! :(
Jade: im so sorry!
John: but what's the matter with you?
Jade: oh right…
Jade: its about callie
Jade: i tried to cheer her up but
Jade: she just wasnt getting any happier
Jade: she took off her ring
Jade: she tried to put it on janes hand… but it vanished
Jade: and now…
Jade: and now… :,(
Kanaya: Jade Come Here I Shall Hold You In My Arms
Jade: thanks kanaya :,)
Terezi: …
(Vriska): ::::|
Terezi: W3LL TH4T JUST H4PP3N3D
(Vriska): Oh, right, you're still on the line.
Terezi: WH4T D1D YOU TH1NK 1D HUNG UP
(Vriska): You've done it 8efore.
Terezi: TRU3 TRU3
Jake: Golly whats this on the floor?
(Vriska): Oh, that's just the paper Rose wrote her little identity diatri8e on.
Kanaya: I Dont Believe You Used That Word Correctly
(Vriska): Did I ask?
Terezi: T4K3 4 CH1LL P1LL
Terezi: WH4TS 1T S4Y
Jake: It says-
(Vriska): Give me th8!
(Vriska): Hey, w8, there's something on the 8ack.
Terezi: WH4TS 1T S4Y WH4TS 1T S4Y
(Vriska): …..
(Vriska): "To (Vriska Serket):
(Vriska): "I'll keep it 8rief, 8ecause I'm sure you don't have the p8ience to sit through any more of my overwrought prose.
(Vriska): "I'd 8e inclined to dispense with the trite even under less pressing circumstances.
(Vriska): "There will 8e no majestic prose 8lustering into the sails of a galleon as we em8ark on this voyage together."
Terezi: WHY DONT 1 B3L13V3 TH4T
Kanaya: Is She
Kanaya: Was She Quoting Her Walkthrough
Kanaya: From Memory
John: why the hail do you have rose's walk through memorised?
Kanaya: No Reason In Particular
(Vriska): Shut up.
(Vriska): "I thought you would appreci8 that metaphor."
(Vriska): She's right. I do!
(Vriska): "As you almost certainly know 8y now, I am required to give up my life in order to work the miracle which you devised.
(Vriska): "This is a sacrifice that I am willing to make.
(Vriska): "I have seen what my autom8ed otherworldly counterpart has seen. I have seen what a danger Dirk presents to us all.
(Vriska): "His ultim8 goal is to free us from the tyranny of narr8ion, and to cre8 a new canon, over which he will 8e dict8or.
(Vriska): "You pro8a8ly understand none of this, so I shall phrase it in a manner which you might 8e more apt to comprehend:
(Vriska): "Dirk 8ad."
Terezi: H4H4H4H4H4H4
(Vriska): Shut UP!
John: now i understand why it took rose so long to write her speech.
(Vriska): "Now, my journey may 8e over, 8ut yours is not.
(Vriska): "You must make one final leap of faith 8efore you return home at last."
John: sollux?
(Vriska): Aaaaaaaah, and we were just getting to the good part!
John: didn't you say you wouldn't be back for an hour?
Sollux: there was a change 0f plans. i'll tell y0u ab0ut it later.
Jake: Hi sollux!
Sollux: hi. i d0n't remember y0ur name.
(Vriska): His name's Joke.
(Vriska): I mean, Jake.
Sollux: hi j0ke.
Jake: Close enough!
Kanaya: (Vriska) Do Not High Five Sollux
(Vriska): Too l8!
Vriska: ….)
Terezi: YOUR3 SUCH 4 B1RCH
(Vriska): I 8ear that title with pride.
(Vriska): Anyway, let's get 8ack to it.
(Vriska): "The right time will 8e soon. The 8lind prophets say when it is.
(Vriska): "I still have no idea who those people are, 8ut they seem important.
(Vriska): "At that instant, you must 8r8k through.
(Vriska): "8ut only if you wish.
(Vriska): "You can choose to stay, 8ut that is something you must decide for yourself.
(Vriska): "That is all you need to know. I wish you luck, though I know you don't need it.
(Vriska): "And Kanaya…"
(Vriska): Wow, this is sappy.
(Vriska): "You are too hardy to uproot.
(Vriska): "You 8end and 8ruise and 8leed, 8ut you will never 8r8k.
(Vriska): "I wish I could say the same for myself.
(Vriska): "8ut that is why we make such a perfect pair, isn't it?
(Vriska): "I love you, and I will never stop loving you, though death and distance may tear us apart.
(Vriska): "Don't you ever forget that. 8ecause I haven't.
(Vriska): "Not even Dirk could make me forget.
(Vriska): "Take care of our girl, will you?"
Jade: kanaya no please dont cry!
Vriska: …..
Jake: Jeepers.
Terezi: 1S TH4T 4LL
(Vriska): Yeah, that's the end of it.
(Vriska): So what the hail does Rose mean 8y all that?
Terezi: 1 H4V3NT TH3 SL1GHT3ST CLU3
Roxy: hey u need help w somethin?
Terezi: Y34H W3R3 TRY1NG TO F1GUR3 OUT WH4T TH3 FORK 1T M34NS TO M4K3 "4 F1N4L L34P OF F41TH B3FOR3 YOU G3T HOM3"
Roxy: hm
John: is that roxy?
John: does she have a cold?
Terezi: N4H H3S F1N3
John: ah.
Roxy: hey jon
John: hi!
Terezi: YOU S33M SURPR1S1NGLY UN-NONPLUSS3D
John: eh, i've had weirder schist happen to me.
John: learning that my dead ex wife is a guy in another time line? could be stranger.
Terezi: OUT OF CUR1OS1TY HOW
John: well, roxy could be with calliope.
Roxy: …
Roxy: well im thinknig abt the riddle whatchamaclallkt
Roxy: keep thknkimg abt how i jumped thru those window thingiew 2 get 2 the lab n stuff
Roxy: but i doub-
Terezi: W41T W41T W41T
Terezi: YOU KNOW HOW 1 TOLD YOU GUYS TO PUT TH3 W1NDOW TH1NG 1N TH3 CLOS3T W1TH J4D3
Roxy: ye
Jake: What?
Terezi: W3LL 1 KN3W 1T W4S 1MPORT4NT BUT 1 D1DNT KNOW WHY
Terezi: TH1S M1GHT B3 1T
Sollux: s0 y0u're suggesting h00king up tw0 fenestrated planes acr0ss tw0 different universes t0 transp0rt a live pers0n?
Sollux: y0u're insane.
Sollux: i like that idea. it c0uld w0rk.
Roxy: the tining woild have 2 b nutso accurate tho
Sollux: because y0u'd be cr0ssing thr0ugh the n0t0ri0usly difficult t0 navigate furthest ring.
Terezi: HOW 4BOUT W3 JUST L3T YOU TWO N3RDS J4BB3R FOR 4WH1L3 4ND F1GUR3 4LL TH1S SCH1ST OUT FOR US
Roxy: yE!
Sollux: i'm d0wn f0r it.
(Vriska): Hey, uh, Terezi,
(Vriska): 8efore I turn the phone over to Sollux,
(Vriska): Can I just say something?
(Vriska): Like, separ8 from every8ody?
Terezi: Y34H SUR3
Terezi: L34V1NG TH3 BR1DG3 4S W3 SP34K
Terezi: OK4Y WH4T DO YOU W4NT
(Vriska): …..
(Vriska): …..
Terezi: SP1T 1T OUT DUMB4X3
(Vriska): … it's for you.
Terezi: WH4T
(Vriska): I-I mean,
(Vriska): All the stuff I've 8een doing, to get 8ack home,
(Vriska): I've had you in m8nd the whole time.
(Vriska): Going off to fight Lord English, without you, th8t was a mist8ke.
(Vriska): 8ut then I went to fight him ag8in,
(Vriska): And fighting J8ne, and st8ying alive, and trying to find my w8y home, 8nd helping Rose, and all th8t…..
(Vriska): I couldn't h8ve done it, if you weren't th8re to fight for.
Terezi: …
Terezi: :|
(Vriska): ::::|
Terezi: H4V3 YOU GON3 SOFT ON M3?
Terezi: YOU FORK1NG N3RD :]
(Vriska): Oh, shut up!
(Vriska): I pour my heart out to you, and THIS is the thanks I get?
Terezi: 1 M34N 1 H4D NO 1D34 HOW 3LS3 TO R3SPOND TO TH4T
Terezi: WH4T 4M 1 SUPPOS3D TO S4Y?
(Vriska): I dunno? Not that?
Terezi: "OWO MY, VW1SK4-CH4N, 1 H4V3 JUST W34W1S3D HOW POW3WFUW TH3 BOND 1S TH4T UN1T3S US!
Terezi: "T4K3 M3 NOW!"
(Vriska): Hahahahahahahaha!
Terezi: :D
Terezi: OK4Y, OK4Y, H4H4, 1N 4LL S3R1OUSN3SS
Terezi: 1M GL4D TO KNOW 1 M34N 4S MUCH TO YOU 4S YOU DO TO M3
(Vriska): ::::)
Terezi: GOD D4MP1T 1 M1SS YOU SO MUCH
(Vriska): I miss you too.
(Vriska): 8ut hey, with any luck, I'll 8e headed over in no time flat.
Terezi: 1 LOOK FORW4RD TO 1T
Terezi: :]
(Vriska): Okay, turning you over to Sollux now.
Sollux: hey.
Terezi: H3Y
Terezi: 1LL CONN3CT YOU W1TH ROXY 1N 4 S3COND
Terezi: 4NYW4Y HOWV3 YOU B33N
Sollux: can't c0mplain.
Sollux: had t0 st0p meenah fr0m killing karkat a few minn0ws, i mean minutes ag0.
Terezi: UH
Terezi: W1LD
Terezi: H3R3S ROXY
Kanaya: Hold On What
Terezi hands over the phone, then paces down the hall again. She almost loses her footing when the ship jolts, probably due to Jade's machinations.
She's still smiling at how sweet (Vriska's) words were. It's rare that she ever discloses her feelings, and Terezi's always grateful for such an occurrence.
She's so lucky to have a friend like her. She's so glad that she's all right. And she's so glad that, with luck, Vriska will be home soon.
Terezi can't help but be reminded of Rose and Kanaya and how much Kanaya desired to be with Rose again, that she would go to such great lengths to rescue her on a whim. She thinks about how thrilled they are that they can be together again at long last.
It really shows how much they love each other, doesn't…
… wait a second.
Something clicks in Terezi's mind. Her jaw drops.
She stands for a while in stunned silence, not sure how to process this revelation, even though everything makes sense now.
"D4MP1T, 1 C4NT T3LL ROXY TH4T H3S R1GHT"
"whqt abt me?"
"NOTH1NG"
Sorry about the late chapter. There's more to wrap up than I thought there was. Just be grateful I didn't have Terezi sum up the fight.
Anyway, about the kill count! The confirmed deaths are Meat!Jake, Terezi (which didn't last), Candy!Roxy, Candy!Jane, Meat!Dirk, Candy!Rose, Candy!Swifer, and Candy!Calliope (which was heavily implied). The technical deaths are Candy!Dave (since it's not clear whether he died before or after the story's start), Davepetasprite^2 (since their components were already dead), (Vriska) (made intentionally ambiguous), and Meat!Rose (who admitted it was a technicality). Adding Vriska's, Meat!Karkat's, and Meenah's close calls, this is a very bloody story.
See you on Friday! One chapter left! :D