The moon shone brightly into the room through the soft canopy that covered her bed, offering minimal privacy. She sat and watched as the cold wind from the cracked window made the material flow back and forth over her.
She had found herself spending more and more time in the comfort of her four-poster bed than out and among the crowds of students expecting reactions from her.
Even tonight, when Ginny had pulled her down the stairs to study instead she had run into Ron and Lavender coming through the portrait door. Sending her back up the stairs she had just come down. They all had to believed what she wanted them to believe, that it was Ron she was torn up about. That seeing him happy with the girl who had never caused her any problems before. That was easier than the truth, even she could believe that. It meant that she could leave the room, escape the stares and spend her time away from them all, away from Harry and the guilt that invaded her chest as he continued to dwell over the map and the missing person that was never on it, that was until Ginny would come and drag her back.
The blonde haunted her dreams and made her reality a living hell.
She rolled in the bed and tried to ignore the soft snores of those next to her in the room, pulling the blanket further up and over her shoulders counting the number of breaths that Lavender took next to her. Trying to bring herself into a sleep of some sort. But like always the fear of what it would mean to close her eyes.
She had been plagued with his nightmares since the quidditch night, always the same, his grey eyes stood tall over her as the heat of his stare melted her to the core. The same look of disgust on his face that she had come used to the past few days.
It was as if the thought of just ignoring her no longer worked. He now made it his mission to push her buttons, to try and bring her to the verge of tears and back throughout potions and in the hallways. Making it almost impossible to make it class to class on the daily basis. She needed a reprieve but there was none in sight. Not even at night. Sighing she sat up in the bed and reached for her robes. Grabbing her charts, she quietly made her way down the stairs, if she couldn't sleep she would at least get some work done.
Draco sat swinging his legs off the side of the astronomy tower. He had spent much of the day in this spot and it would seem that he would spend more of the night here too. Contemplating. The sun had left and all that was surrounding him was the infinite darkness of the starry night. That was the best part of this tower.
He appreciated the darkness, embraced it. It was everything that his life had become, a single sheet of black abyss with no ending in sight. Not unless he made it. He could find the light in life another way. Take a different path and stop the suffering of all that was bound to come.
He continued to swing his legs off the edge, as he thought, he felt himself scooting a little further to where his thighs held onto the brick beneath him. As the wind blew around him he could smell the strong smell of strawberries fill his senses, a smell he was sure he would take to his grave. It was his enemy's essence. A smell that had plagued his brain for some time, made his heart lurch in his chest before his stomach could flip and send him reeling. He could follow the smell, a different kind of doom that it was sure to bring him, there would be no happiness in his end.
Yet as he sat he embraced the pull of the wind around him and the darkness of the night, not allowing him to see the bottom of the tower, below the surface where the danger was. He could feel the darkness below calling out to him, daring him to do it. To simply slide off the side and not crash to the Earth below but take flight. Escape. As he slid closer to the edge, resting most of his body on his hands and his tail bone, he could feel the strength in his arms threatening to give away to the weight of his body. He heard footsteps approaching and sighed.
"You should watch your surroundings more, you never know who could be watching for signs of weakness." He whipped himself back onto the ledge and to his feet his heart was thudding faster in his chest and he quickly walked further into the room peering into the darkness. From the shadows he could see a familiar figure begin to walk towards him.
"Professor," he said relaxing momentarily. Snape pulled himself from the shadows and walked to the ledge of the building stopping next to him facing the dark window, Draco watched as Snape peered out into the darkness. "I'm going to die aren't I" he said breaking the silence between them.
"That is always a possibility. Based on your actions you're probably right. How close are you." Snape said staring further into the darkness as if he was looking for something or waiting for something to appear.
"Nowhere, on either of them." Draco said taking a step away from Snape, he was not naïve enough to trust the professor fully, he had seen and heard many stories of the man's ability, of finding himself on both sides of the war. However, he knew that lying to the man would do him no good. Snape only shook his head.
"Your mother is a stubborn one, as I'm sure you know."
"Y..."
"Don't interrupt me" Snape said turning towards him menacingly "Did she tell you, before you went away naturally, that she came and visited me with your aunt?" Draco said nothing, this was news to him "I wouldn't think so" Snape answered his own question at the look of confusion that was surely on his face. "I had to take the unbreakable for you Draco Malfoy, do you understand what I mean?" Draco nodded, feeling the bile rise in his throat again, "Good. So, stop putting both of our lives in danger and start working on your task. Take this as me trying to help you. I won't step in again unless you force my hand." Snape warned beginning to walk away.
"She's alive so you know. Narcissa. I received words from her this morning" This was the last thing he said before walking down the stairs of the tower and back out the door. He could feel the breath leave his lungs and his vision cloud up as he sunk to his knees in the middle of the floor. The only reason he had gotten into any of this mess was for his mother and the doubt he had at her survival had been gripping him for months. To hear that she had survived…that none of it was real… he could feel the laughter start to rip through his chest, it came from his gut and caused tears to fall down his face.
He did not care how insane he must have looked at this moment in time all he could think about was that they had been nothing more than tricks. Illusions to get him to focus more on his work. He heard the door open and close again rapidly. Looking up he stared into two confused brown eyes looking at him.
A.N.
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