Third Year, Part one
"Ginny!" Fred called, thumping his fist against the door, "Come on! Other people need to use the loo too, you know!"
"Just a minute!" She yelled back, frantically raising her wand.
"Tergeo," she whispered, waving her wand over her arm and hand, siphoning the blood up and into a floating ball.
"GINNY!"
With a flick of her hand, she sent the bloody ball flying into the toilet bowl.
"Just use one of the others!"
"They're all busy! Just hurry up!"
"Almost done!"
She ran her eyes around the small bathroom, scanning for any droplets she might have missed.
Then she rose, rolling her sleeve down and flushing the toilet.
Fred all but knocked her over as he rushed into the bathroom.
Her sigh was drowned out by the sound of the bathroom door slamming behind her.
It had been like that a lot, the last month and a half.
There was no room for real privacy, not at her house. Spend too long in the bathroom, someone would be bashing down the door. Hiding away in her room wasn't even an option, what with her family's penchant for walking in without knocking.
She'd thought that maybe at Luna's house she'd get some time to herself, but even that hadn't panned out. Her three days with Luna and Mr Lovegood had been nice and all, but Luna had kept them busy the entire time.
As fun as all the walking and games and talking had been, Ginny still wished she'd had some time alone. She'd barely managed to do her summer homework, and hadn't had more than half an hour at a time to focus on her spellcasting.
All in all, she was barely managing to get by with only using the knife once a day.
None of her family realized how much worse they were making everything. With their constant attention, their loving care, their attempts at coming up with fun ideas to keep everyone occupied; none of them realized how much she wished they would just leave her alone.
After her parents, Bill and Charlie were the worst offenders, by far.
She figured that they were just trying to make up for not having seen her for a year, but understanding the rationale behind their constant conversations didn't make it any less annoying, especially when she had no choice but to play along and act interested.
It would have been slightly more bearable if their little talks didn't always include some variation on a line about how well she was doing and how proud they were of her.
She often wondered what they would do if she were to just tell them the truth. If she were to just tell them that the girl they were so proud of didn't exist, that they didn't know the real her at all, that no one did.
What would they do if she were to tell them that she was actually a monster?
So far, difficult though it had been, she'd managed to hold back from flinging the truth in their faces. She'd smiled bashfully, letting a small blush appear as she looked down and shuffled her feet while they told her how incredible she was.
She snorted, walking into her room and immediately getting attacked by Ron's lunatic owl.
"You know, Pigwidgeon," she said softly, stroking the tiny bird's head, "if I had to stay here much longer, I think I'd go totally bonkers."
Pigwidgeon hooted happily, rubbing his beak against her hand.
She sighed, lying back on her bed, the owl still gently gripped in her hand.
"Not surprised you like me more than Ron," she told it, "he's a boring git, isn't he?"
The next hoot brought a smile to her face.
Worse, perhaps, than her parents' and Bill and Charlie's constant need to talk to her, was Ron's nonstop prattle about his friends.
Almost every conversation Ron was involved in would somehow bring up something that reminded him of Harry or Hermione. Of course, as soon as that happened he would feel the need to share it with everyone. He'd barely stopped talking about the Quidditch World Cup, and though she'd enjoyed those conversations at first, they'd quickly become Ron's musings over how Hermione would enjoy the game, or what team Harry would be supporting.
She supposed she wouldn't have felt that acidic pit opening in her stomach whenever Ron spoke if it had just been Hermione he was talking about. She didn't really care when the twins mentioned Lee, after all.
But Harry, well, that was a different story entirely.
Pigwidgeon nipped playfully at her fingers, pulling her attention back to him.
'You should practice on the owl. You'll never be able to tell if you're doing the spells right unless you're testing them on something living.'
"No," she whispered, shaking her head, "no, I couldn't."
'Why not? It's not like Ron really cares for it. Even if he did, it would be a fitting payback for his friendship with Potter.'
"It's not right. I can't."
'It's to make sure that you're doing the spells properly. You'll never be able to help Tom if you can't cast them. Of course it's right.'
She stared down at Pigwidgeon through blurry eyes.
He hooted again, seeming to smile up at her.
"I can't."
'Do you want to stay weak and useless? You'll have to practice, and it would be easier than with a human.'
"I just-I don't-"
'Pathetic. If you can't even kill an owl, you will be beyond useless to him. Disgusting.'
She shook her wrist, her wand falling into her hand.
Its point shook through figures of eight as she tried to aim it, her hands trembling too much to simply keep it still.
'Am I really going to do this?'
'Of course you are. It's the natural order of things. Do it.'
She inhaled, preparing the incantation in her mind, snakes slithering through her belly.
"GINNY! SOME HELP IN THE KITCHEN, PLEASE!"
Her wand flew from her hands, her mother's sudden shout sending her heart racing.
"C-COMING," she called back, "JUST A MINUTE!"
"NOW! HERMIONE WILL BE HERE IN AN HOUR!"
'If you knew Memory Charms, you could just practice on the Mudblood.'
'No, no, I don't-'
Pigwidgeon gave an angry sounding squeak, and she quickly opened her fist.
He zoomed around the room, happy again, unaware of how close he'd come to extreme pain or even death.
"GINNY! WE STILL NEED TO DO YOUR ROOM!"
Of course Hermione would be sharing with her. Of bloody course.
And of course no one had thought to ask her.
She hurried from her room, her hands still shaking, the need beginning to rise within her again.
'And with the Mudblood around, you won't be able to do anything in your room. What an absolute waste of a summer.'
If not for the upcoming World Cup Final, she'd have unreservedly agreed.
At least at the Quidditch she'd be able to lose herself, forget about Tom and about everything.
At least there she wouldn't have to think about one day becoming one of his soldiers.
She stared across the table, her mother's small smile filling her eyes.
Her mother wasn't looking at her with that proud, happy expression.
No, her focus was a few seats down the table from where Ginny was, where Ron sat engrossed in conversation with Harry.
'I think Tom was right. They'd much rather have had another son. They don't know what to do with me. They'd probably rather Harry joined the family for real.'
'Of course he was right, fool. He was always right.'
Still, it hurt to see her mother giving more of a smile to the boy who'd ruined her life than to her.
"Ginny? What's wrong, dear?"
She looked up, catching her mother's eyes.
"Nothing," she said, putting on a smile, "just a bit of heartburn for a moment. It's gone now.'
Her mother shook her head, making a clucking sound. "You need to eat slower, dear. It's the best thing for it."
"Hard to do when the food is this good."
Her mother beamed at her.
"I think we can stay here for now," Fred said, eyeing the fleeing crowds around them warily, "I'm sure we're far enough."
George stood just ahead of them, wand in hand and jaw set.
"Who was that?" she asked, a part of her dreading the answer, "why would they-"
Terrified screams erupted from everyone around them, cutting her question off and making her jump.
Rising into the air above the forested area, glittering menacingly in the moonlight, was the Dark Mark.
Tom's sign.
Her heart skipped a beat, anxious excitement thrumming through her like lightning.
'He's here, he's come back, he's come back to me!'
"Come on," Fred shouted in her ear, his fingers tight around her arm, "we need to get away!"
His voice sounded like it was coming from a great distance. She stared up, drinking in the beautiful, terrible sight.
'He's here!'
"Ginny! We need to go!"
She tore her eyes away from what, until then, she'd only seen in her dreams, looking back at Fred. He was pale, his freckles seeming to glow in the dark.
He didn't see Tom's sign as something to be happy about. It terrified him, just like it terrified everyone who wasn't a monster.
"Come on," he repeated, dragging her away from her dreams.
She let him pull her, turning her head and watching for as long as she could.
The compartment door swung open, admitting three girls.
"Oh," one said, her voice infused with disappointment, "Looney's here."
"Should've realized there was a reason it was so empty," one of the others grumbled.
"Hello," Luna said brightly, "Ginny, this is Amber, Elenore, and Sarissa. They're in Ravenclaw with me. Would you like to join us? There's plenty of space."
"Of course there's plenty of space," Amber said, sounding exasperated, "Because you're here. Everyone's afraid if they spend too much time with you, they'll go crazy too."
"Hey!" Ginny said, her hackles rising, "You shut your mouth."
"Ginny-" Luna started calmly, but Amber cut her off before she could say more than that.
"Maybe she's already melted your brain with all her crumple-horned nonsense," the Ravenclaw said with a sneer, "there's no way you could choose to spend time with her if you were entirely normal."
Ginny stood up so quickly that Amber took a step back.
She gave a quick jerk of her wrist, making her wand fall neatly from the slip in her sleeve and into her hand.
"Get out," She snarled.
Amber frowned, her eyes flickering to Ginny's wand and back.
'You could always practice on her. The bitch deserves it, doesn't she?'
"C'mon, Amber," Sarissa said, giving her friend a gentle tug on the arm, "let's just go."
After a moment, Amber followed, raising her hand to the side of her head and making a circling motion with her fingers as she walked from the room.
Ginny slammed the door behind them so hard that she was half-surprised the glass didn't break, before dropping back into her seat with a huff.
"You didn't need to worry about them," Luna said, as serenely as if nothing had happened, "they'd have left after a few minutes anyway."
"Why do you just let them talk to you like that?" She demanded, "You can't just sit back like a doormat while they're insulting you!"
Luna shrugged, her intent eyes not leaving Ginny's own.
"Why should I care what they say about me? It doesn't change who I am."
"It-it's not right. You shouldn't have to take that."
"They don't do it to be mean," Luna said, explaining as patiently as if she were talking to a child, "That's just what they need to feel good about themselves."
"You shouldn't be their whipping boy," Ginny said, "no matter what."
"I really don't mind," Luna said, giving her a warm smile, "I used to, but I just don't anymore."
"What changed?"
"I made a friend," Luna said bashfully, finally removing her gaze from Ginny, "now I can't care what they have to say."
As much as she tried, Ginny couldn't find a reply to that.
She lay in her bed, the room quiet after the excited conversations had finally died down.
Her roommates were absolutely over the moon with the news, blabbering on for what felt like hours about how spectacular it would be, for them to actually witness the Triwizard Tournament.
Unlike those raised in the Muggle world, they'd all grown up knowing what the Triwizard Tournament was. It felt like the hero from every childhood story she'd ever heard had begun their journey into fame with winning the Tournament.
It was the stuff that made legends.
And now it was being held at Hogwarts.
She was excited about it as well, albeit for different reasons. She had no interest in wondering who would be Hogwarts' Champion, or whether they'd actually have to deal with Cyclops'.
In truth, a small part of her was interested in all that.
Far more exciting though, was the fact that with everything going on at Hogwarts, she would have to be much less worried about any of her extracurricular activities being noticed.
'I'll still have to watch out for Moody,' she thought, 'If even half of dad's stories are true, he'll pick up on anything suspicious.'
Still, McGonagall and Dumbledore and all of the other teachers would be busy, and once the other schools came, all of the other students would be preoccupied with the foreigners.
'And it will be easier for you to find an animal to test on.'
She felt her eyelid twitch, her smile suddenly gone.
Whatever would happen, she was sure it would prove to be an interesting year.