Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable. Like it wasn't bad enough she was the one who initiated their first phone call after Philadelphia, or the one to propose meeting up if and when Aubrey was in the area, or suggested hooking up the following summer because they both balked at the prospect of a long-term relationship.

She was smart, damn it. She had been accepted in some very good schools, and Barden University even offered her a full scholarship… which she was maintaining, no less. She was smart, both academically and practically, she didn't make stupid mistakes or just blurt out stupid things unless she chose to.

And she had spent an entire lifetime up to this point making sure she didn't fall for the frivolity of teenage relationships, the frailty of long-distance, the catch-all of monogamy. She had watched her parents' marriage fall apart, had seen her friends' parents' all struggle to keep their marriages together, and had seen in the few examples of happy marriages that it was a struggle, a day-in and day-out challenge, to stay together.

So she had known from the start why long-distance relationships didn't work, and she would be damned if she went against everything she knew by being with someone who was never around.

Unbelievable.

And Aubrey – Aubrey fucking Posen – was doing exactly what Stacie wanted her to do at that moment, and was keeping her distance, giving her time and space, even if it was the last thing Stacie needed.

Because Stacie needed some kind of validation to what she'd accidentally said, and Aubrey wasn't giving it.

Actually, no, that wasn't fair, because for all Stacie knew Aubrey had intended to, somewhere in those first five - or fifty - unanswered calls, but then the frantic calls ended at the start of Thanksgiving weekend, after which Aubrey stuck to their regularly-scheduled call times, even when Stacie kept not answering them.

Which, fine, she was probably slightly at fault, for not answering Aubrey's calls. But she knew that the moment she took Aubrey's call, they would need to talk about what Stacie had said, and that would be making it real, and they'll dissect it and analyze it and try to figure out what it meant, and the truth of the matter was, Stacie didn't know what it meant. But just because she didn't want to discuss the matter in detail didn't mean she didn't want Aubrey to at least acknowledge it.

Okay, she was miffed. She can honestly admit that she had expected Aubrey to at least show up at her home in Pennsylvania, when Stacie continued to refuse to answer her calls, and had been disappointed when the entire Thanksgiving weekend came and went without a single visit, just tons of missed calls by phone and on Skype. At one point, she knew her mom had gotten concerned when she'd jumped every time her phone rang and perked up each time a car seemed to slow down outside, and… The disappointment was overwhelming.

She had to say this, about Aubrey, however: the girl was as stubborn as ever, and despite her calls not being answered, sometimes straight-out rejected as well as having her text messages ignored, and Stacie pretty much making sure all her days and nights were occupied elsewhere, she never faltered. As if daring Stacie to be the first one to blink, she still called, and texted, and attempted to Skype. If their relationship had been on any other form of communication – Facebook, messenger, smoke signals – she had no doubt Aubrey would be on those, too.

And then one day, right at the start of Christmas break and the Barden Bellas' first tour stop for the winter, everything stopped.

Stacie wasn't sure what had prompted the brick wall of communication, and wasn't sure if she had any right to try and breach it, but there was just nothing.

"That phone isn't going to dial itself, you know." Cynthia Rose noted from across Stacie, the two of them seated in the coaster van that was the Bellas' new mode of transportation. Being national champions went a long way in fundraising, and funds sure helped in paying for things like van rentals and purchasing costume materials.

They were on their last stop of the winter tour, and Stacie wasn't going to lie: she was kind of freaking out about the fact that she was going on almost a full week of nothing from Aubrey, and Christmas was just a few days away, and she had no idea what she was going to tell her mom if Aubrey didn't show up.

Stacie glanced at her phone and sighed. "I fucked up."

"We all do." Cynthia Rose shrugged. "How bad?"

"I don't know." Stacie admitted. She looked up at the other girl. "How do you get to a point where you compromise yourself so much just to be in a relationship?"

Cynthia Rose's eyes widened, but she tried not to let her shock show too much. "You're in a relationship?"

Stacie threw her hands up in frustration. "I don't even know!" She groaned in annoyance. "But I'm doing all these things I swore I'd never do, like sneaking around, and lying to my friends, and saying things I shouldn't, and it doesn't feel like too much in the moment, but when I stop and think about it, I wonder when the hell did I become this person, and why is it OK?"

"Because you're in a relationship." Denise said, from her place in the driver's seat, making both Stacie and Cynthia Rose shriek in surprise. She gave them both a weary look, before turning to Stacie. "This may come as a surprise to you, but everything you just said? Comes from being involved with someone else; whether or not you believe it."

"But..." Stacie glanced at Cynthia Rose, frustrated, before turning back to Denise. "Shouldn't I know?"

Denise shrugged. "Not everybody sits down and decides to be in a relationship, Stacie. Not everyone gets that big moment that starts everything. Sometimes it just happens."

"Is that why you've had your phone permanently glued to your hand since you got back from—" Cynthia Rose's jaw dropped. "You've been seeing this guy since summer?"

"CR." Denise said curtly, drawing the other girl's attention, and it spoke of their past relationship that all it took was one poignant look from Denise and Cynthia Rose eased off on her incredulity.

Stacie sighed. "Okay, say you're right, and I'm in a relationship. How did everything I just said happen?"

"You make adjustments, changes when there are other people involved." Denise shrugged. "That's how relationships work. When one or both of you aren't willing to make those changes, and don't try to make it work, that's it, that's how it ends."

"Or graduation." Cynthia Rose said pointedly.

Denise rolled her eyes. "It's not my fault you were too busy gambling to realize you were declared truant and had to repeat twelfth grade."

"I was too busy winning at gambling." Cynthia Rose corrected.

Denise turned back to Stacie, and gestured to herself and Cynthia Rose. "This is how relationships don't work."

Stacie glanced at them, and winced when she realized she'd rather have their snide back and forth than never having Aubrey talk to her again, so she picked up her phone. And then paused, realizing the two other girls were watching with rapt attention. "Do you mind?"

"Hey, we're invested, now." Cynthia Rose protested, motioning to her and Denise.

Stacie turned to Denise, who shook her head. "This is better than the Beca-Chloe drama, because at least yours looks like it's going somewhere."

Cynthia Rose turned to Denise. "You know, you're right about those two. I thought they'd be together by now; how do you fail the same subject every year and not have your girl realize what's happening?"

"And he forces her to watch movies! And she still hates them! Why are they even still together?" Denise exclaimed in agreement.

Stacie rolled her eyes, and dialed Aubrey's number, which rang twice before the call was rejected.

Aca-scuse me?

Cynthia Rose and Denise had watched the whole thing, and were curious as to how to read and interpret Stacie's dark expression.

Stacie dialed again, and again the call was rejected.

"You do not get to do this to me." Stacie seethed, starting to call again but was interrupted by an incoming message. She opened it, and the message's attachment, and there was a moment of confusion before she realized what she was looking at.

And there was no shortage of relief in the world for how she felt when it made sense.

Cynthia Rose frowned, and tried to see Stacie's phone screen, but failed. "What's happening?"

"Well?" Denise asked.

"It's cool. We're cool." Stacie laughed, releasing the nervous tension she'd been feeling since Aubrey's calls ended, and after making sure her screen only showed the picture and not the sender's name, showed it to the two other girls.

Denise frowned. "What is that?"

"It's a restaurant receipt." Stacie answered, almost near tears, because goddamnit, Aubrey. The receipt also stated that it was from England, which probably answered the question of why racking up charges for international personal calls was not high on Aubrey's list of things to do.

It didn't answer Stacie's question of where she and Aubrey were on the state of their relationship, but at least she knew they were still on speaking terms.

So to speak.

But there was a time difference, and Stacie was with the rest of the Barden Bellas, so even later that night in the hotel room she shared with Chloe, she could only trade emails and web messages with Aubrey, neither of them addressing the reason why they haven't spoken to each other in nearly a month.

She couldn't wait until she was alone at home and not worry about nine girls eavesdropping on her phone conversation.

Because she realized belatedly, now that she was talking to Aubrey again, just how much she had missed the older girl during the weeks they hadn't spoken. She missed complaining about her classes, and listening to Aubrey talk about projections for the quarter and, damn it, Aubrey's performance review had been the week after Thanksgiving, so Stacie had missed whatever feedback Aubrey's boss must have had.

(And wondered if she really did laugh at Aubrey during the review.)

But Aubrey was stuck in England, for still undisclosed reasons, and admitted that she wasn't sure if she'd be able to get a flight back home, much less to Philadelphia, so close to Christmas Day, but promised to try and make it as soon as she could. Stacie figured that was already more than she could hope for, considering she had blanked the other girl out for weeks.

And then one day Stacie understood all those movies and commercials about Christmas Eve, all those poor souls trying to get home on the day, because she had absolutely no words for how she felt when she opened the door the morning of Christmas Eve and Aubrey stood at her front step.

They had no words, really, just feelings of relief and joy to lay eyes on each other again, and Stacie mutely stepped aside to let Aubrey inside the house.

Once the door closed behind them, Aubrey smiled faintly. "You're done freaking out?"

Stacie nodded.

"Good." And then there really were no words, having no need for it as they surged towards each other, covering the distance both literally and figuratively, grasping each other blindly while their mouths got reacquainted with each other. Aubrey held Stacie firmly by the waist, keeping her steady, careful not to escalate things too far before they cleared the air between them.

Stacie, however, had other plans, wrapping her arms around Aubrey and pulling her in close, wanting to touch her everywhere, to feel her everywhere, wanting everything and the kiss was barely covering everything she wanted to do with Aubrey.

Stacie pushed Aubrey up against the door, making her gasp, which only fueled Stacie's desire. But Aubrey had other plans.

"No, Stace, wait." Aubrey said, breathless, cupping the side of Stacie's jaw, and forcing her head up from where she'd begun sucking against Aubrey's pulse point. When she'd lost her scarf, Aubrey had no idea, but points for Stacie's ability to pull it off without her knowing.

Stacie let out a soft whine of protest, but pressed her forehead to Aubrey's, closing her eyes in an attempt to calm down. "God, I've missed you."

Aubrey bit back the snappy rejoinder of whose fault that was, and instead pressed her lips to Stacie's in a quick kiss. "I've missed you, too."

Stacie took a deep, shaky, breath. "England?"

"Later."

Which meant England was something to talk about.

"Stacie?"

"Hmm?" Stacie hummed, quite content like this, her eyes closed but feeling Aubrey's hands on her face, keeping her close, each breath shared with Aubrey, her arms around Aubrey.

"Baby, open your eyes."

With a sigh, Stacie reluctantly did as she was told and met Aubrey's blue eyes, the green in them darker than she had ever seen them.

Aubrey held Stacie's gaze, trying to convey something beyond words, and finally – finally – the words came. "You don't get to do that to me ever again."

Stacie grew confused. What?

"If we're fighting? You take my calls. You yell at me. You tell me what I did wrong. You don't leave me hanging wondering if you're OK or whether or not you regret saying what you did. If you want space, you tell me, I will give it to you. But you don't ignore me the way you did for weeks. Do you understand?"

Stacie looked down. "I'm-"

"Do you understand?" Aubrey repeated, cutting her off.

Stacie looked back up at her, and nodded.

Aubrey sighed in relief. "Good, because next time you tell me you love me? I'd like to be able to say it back."

Stacie didn't think she could want Aubrey more, but she was surprised to find out she might not have an upper limit on that. "We need a bed."

"We really do."

Stacie paused, and lifted an eyebrow at Aubrey. "What, no talk of getting banned from the house?"

"Why are we still standing in the living room?"

Stacie grabbed her hand, and pulled her away from the door. When they got to the stairs, she motioned Aubrey upward. "Go."

"But—"

"Eight-hour surgery, lots of anesthesia - my mom's not leaving that OR soon. And we're gonna need to stay hydrated."

Aubrey laughed. "I should get my bags."

Stacie waved her off. "You won't need clothes for the next few hours."

Aubrey laughed harder. "Your gift's in my bag, but—"

Stacie faltered in her urgency, because… well, presents. She pouted, and Aubrey smiled fondly, leaning close to kiss her pout. "Let me get my bags."

"Two minutes."

"Five."

Stacie sighed, because she knew of only one way Aubrey would be done sooner. "I'll help."

It was at the closing moments of hour seven of the surgery Stacie's mom was taking part in when Aubrey, freshly showered and feeling deep in her bones the exhaustion of traveling across the Atlantic and hours of marathon make up sex, fell onto Stacie's bed and its newly-changed sheets. "I can sleep for days."

Stacie watched her, half-amused. "That'll take away the whole point of making you stay with me."

"We can still have sex while I'm half-asleep."

"Pretty sure that counts as dubious consent." Stacie mused, lying down beside Aubrey and pressing close from behind her.

"I'm consenting now." Aubrey assured her, taking hold of Stacie's hand, tangling their fingers together, and moving their entwined hands across her waist. "Just make sure I'm at least half-awake? I'd like to be at least partly aware of what's going on."

Stacie chuckled, and pressed a kiss to Aubrey's shoulder. "I missed you."

Aubrey smiled into Stacie's pillow. "Missed you too."

"Aubrey?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

Aubrey chuckled softly, and lifted their entwined hands to her lips, turning her head slightly to kiss the inside of Stacie's wrist. "Are you asking me to go steady?"

"Letterman jacket, and all."

"And the pressure, commitment, monogamy, routine sex?" Aubrey questioned.

Stacie shrugged, even if Aubrey couldn't see her. "I could get used to those things."

"Thanks a lot." Aubrey said dryly.

Stacie moved back and pushed on Aubrey's shoulder so she could turn and they could face each other. "I'm not going to lie to you, I still don't know if I'm ready for those things. But I want to be. And I want to be with you. Because if there's anyone I can trust to hold my hand through it, and reassure me it's okay to be messing up all the time, that's going to be you."

Aubrey frowned. "What makes you think you're going to mess up?"

"Aubrey, we're kind of expecting the Hunter to go on the down-low," Stacie reminded. "That's got to make you worry a little."

"So the past few weeks have been-?" Aubrey questioned.

"That's different."

"How?"

"It just is." Stacie pouted. "This is an entirely new territory for me, Aubrey."

"And you think I'm any better at it?" Aubrey asked. "Have you forgotten my list of bad relationships, because I can name at least five guaranteed to send you running."

"You'd be wrong."

"And besides," Aubrey added, "so far you've been handling this - well, I guess we're calling it a relationship now - better than I have. You've pushed, when you knew you needed to; and pulled when I needed you to. You knew what you needed from this relationship and expected me to meet you halfway."

"But I kept complaining, and whining, about being forced into a relationship, and…" Stacie exhaled. "And I've been trying so hard to prove that I wasn't."

"Because we both don't really know how to be in one." Aubrey pointed out gently. "Stacie, we're making this up as we go along. That's… that's the commitment. That's a relationship. I mean, I've been in relationships before and I didn't realize exactly how I felt about you until I heard you say it."

Stacie rolled her eyes. "God. That was such a slip of the tongue. And not the good kind."

Aubrey smiled. "But I think we both knew we were reaching the point of no return regardless."

Stacie looked at her. "And you're okay with this? I know you have expectations of how relationships are, and I don't know what the rules are, or how relationships even work…"

"I think we can both safely say that expectations and rules don't exactly apply to us." Aubrey noted.

Stacie paused, and frowned at her. "Whoa, who are you and what have you done to Aubrey?"

Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Funny."

"No, seriously: what have you done to Aubrey? No rules or expectations? I mean, you're awesome in bed, too, but I kind of liked her high-strung, rule-adhering, attention-to-detail personality."

"So funny." Aubrey said dryly. "Can I sleep now?"

"Sure, Aubrey-looking thing."

Aubrey rolled her eyes, before she leaned closer and grazed her lips on Stacie's. "I love you. And I would love to be your girlfriend."

Stacie grinned, pressing a series of kisses on Aubrey's lips. "I love you too, Aubrey-looking thing. But just so we're clear?"

"Hmm?" Aubrey hummed around their kisses, pulling Stacie closer to press their bodies together.

"We're gonna have to keep our love a secret when the real Aubrey comes back."

Aubrey paused, and pulled back slightly to frown at the mischievously-grinning Stacie. "You're gonna keep dating both of us if I turned out to be an impostor?"

Stacie shrugged helplessly. "It's like twins…"

Aubrey rolled her eyes, even as she acquiesced to the kisses Stacie kept pressing on her lips. "You're so lucky I love you."

"I love you too." Stacie grinned, biting slightly on her lower lip. "Say it again?"

God, she was already so whipped. Aubrey smiled into their kiss, and obediently repeated, "I love you."

"Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"It's kind of a turn-on."

It had none of the frantic urgency of their earlier coupling, but there was a level of intimacy that hadn't been there before.

Stacie just can't believe her high-level intellect hadn't figured all of this out before that moment.