Third Year, Part Six

She shook slightly with nervous energy, listening as her roommates began to wake up, her experiences the previous night echoing through her mind.

For all that she hadn't slept once they got back, she still felt as full of life as ever she'd been.

By the time she'd gotten to bed, the horizon had been slowly brightening up. She'd just lain there, listening to her roommates' snoring and wondering how they slept while the world had so fundamentally changed around them.

Barty had explained everything to her. How his father had kept him imprisoned for over a decade, how he was impersonating Moody, how they were planning on restoring the Dark Lord's body.

She would be meeting him after lunch today to plan her training, to plan how she would become someone who could be useful to the Dark Lord.

She could barely wait.

'Get help. Go to Dumbledore, tell him-'

'No! No, no, no, no! I just got him back, I'm not abandoning him, I can't, I won't! I won't!'

'What about his comment about mum? Don't you care about that? Don't you care about anyone except yourself? He'll make you kill! He'll turn you into a monster!'

Her lips twisted into a soundless snarl, her hand curling around her wand.

She muttered a soft incantation, making the top of her wand glow red-hot.

Without pausing to think, she jabbed it into her thigh, the burning pain silencing all thought.

'If I went to Dumbledore,' she told herself, 'I'd be expelled and sent to Azkaban. He'd want to know everything, he'd make me tell him everything.'

'Don't-'

'He'll never force me to hurt mum. He'll never make me hurt anyone I care about! He just wanted to see if I'm loyal!'

'He's a monster! A monster! How could you even think about-'

She jabbed the wand down again, hissing through her gritted teeth.

'I NEED HIM!'

'You don't! You'll end up something like him! How could you even look at that thing and want to help him? How can you even think about it? Stop it! If you don't stop it now, it'll be too late! You can still get out!'

'It's been too late since Potter ruined everything. It's far too late.'

'And what if he wants you to prove your loyalty? What if next time he's got mum there? What if-'

She lifted her wand, ramming it into her leg again and again and again, raising angry weals with its touch.

'He won't!'

'He might.'

A new voice entered her internal debate, the one that had always reminded her of Tom.

'So what if he does? Will you really be content to live that terrible half-life you have been, always wishing for him and hating yourself for it? Is there anything, anything at all that you wouldn't do to feel complete again like you were when you had the diary?'

'I don't want to hurt anyone-'

'You already have. Where was mum when Lockhart held you down? Where was she when Terrence was fucking you? Where was she?'

'That's not fair, she-'

'When Lockhart had you, Tom saved you. When you were alone and depressed, Tom saved you. You were willing to die for him. You told him you'd kill for him. What does it matter who?'

Jasmine said something to Priscilla, the words not even registering in Ginny's mind.

'Your mother would hate you if she knew the truth. Your father would disown you. Would they treat you any better than Barty's father treated him? They'd gladly send you to Azkaban.'

'They wouldn't, they-'

'Lies. Nothing is worth more than Tom. Nothing beside him is worth more than your happiness. You'll never feel truly happy unless you're obeying him, you know that.'

'I-'

"Ginny? You awake?"

She yawned loudly, making it sound like she'd just woken up.

"Yeah."

We're all going down to breakfast," Evelyn said from just outside her curtains, "if you want to come with us."

"I'll be there in a bit," she answered, "I think I'm going to shower first."

"Ok."

As soon as the door had closed behind them, she grabbed the knife, staring at her reflection in it for a moment.

She looked maddened, her eyes lit up with a fanatic fire, the corners of her mouth twitching restlessly.

'Whatever he wants,' she told herself as she dragged it across her thigh, slicing neatly through the fresh blisters.

'Whatever he wants. He'll never make me do anything too bad anyway. It was just to test my loyalty. That's all. He'd never ask me to do that.'

'And even if he did, you would do it.'

She nodded with a wide smile, tears streaming down her face and blood running down her thigh.

"Whatever he wants," she muttered, suppressing a sob, "Whatever he wants."

"They've confirmed that the Parerum Curse was used on the cat," Barty said, "But you managed to destroy the hairs in time. They have no idea who was behind it."

She breathed a sigh of relief, sagging forward against the desk, her sleepless night beginning to catch up with her.

"You've got to be careful," he continued. "They're all on high alert. They haven't even thought of you in connection to it, but you can't give them any reason to do so."

"I won't."

He grinned at her lopsidedly, the magical eye rolling around madly.

"You've got some talent in hiding what's going on," he said, "but it's not enough. That's something we're going to be working on."

"You noticed that-that I was happier," she said, "after I dealt with him. Did-did anyone else see-"

"No. I was paying close attention to you, ever since Dumbledore and your father first asked me to keep an eye on you. And I saw your boggart."

She nodded absently, scratching her hand across her now healed thigh.

"Dumbledore knows we're going to be meeting next term. I've told him that I'll be giving you extra lessons, more advanced Defence stuff. He approves."

He smiled at her laugh, his normal eye brightening up.

"We're going to be meeting twice a week. Once will be to focus on subterfuge, the other on your actual fighting abilities, which are very lacking."

"I practice duelling with Colin," she said defensively, "he hasn't beat me in months."

"You can take down a Mudblood your own age," he sneered, "well done. Pardon me for not breaking into applause. Is that what you think he wants from you?"

She looked at his desk, face burning in shame.

"But you do have what to work with," he said. "We'll make something of you. We'll only be starting that in earnest during the term. I want to start some Occlumency with you."

"Occlumency?"

"The art of fighting off mental attacks. To prevent people from perusing your memories at their leisure."

"Like what you did?"

He nodded, drumming his fingers on the table.

"Exactly like what I did. And what he did. I want you to practice clearing your mind, emptying it of all thoughts, emotions, and memories. We'll take it further once you've mastered that."

He paused, staring off into space.

She blurted out the question that had been on her mind.

"Would really make me kill my mum?"

He looked at her strangely, both his eyes piercing her.

"Would you not want to?"

"Not if-I don't have to."

He sounded honestly puzzled when he asked: "why not?"

"Because-"she waved her hands, feeling flustered and confused, "she's my mum!"

"So? I'm looking forward to when my father won't be of any further use. He said I can do it."

She just stared at him in befuddled horror.

"Look," He said with a sigh, "I first met the Dark Lord when I was seventeen. My father tossed me in Azkaban when I was just barely nineteen. The Dark Lord showed more care for me over those two years than my father had my entire life. He was actually interested in me, he actually wanted to help me become great in my own right, not simply use my achievements to further his own agenda. The man who impregnated my mother didn't even notice when I joined the Dark Lord."

His eyes narrowed, seeming to grow more intense.

"The whole caring about your family thing, it's all bullshit. You don't owe anyone anything just because they happen to be related to you. If they want your loyalty, if they want your love and care, they need to earn it!"

"But they-she-she-"

"What," he scowled, "she loves you? So? What's she done to deserve your love?"

"She-"

"Because I've seen your thoughts," he interjected, "I saw how you spent a year drifting further away from them without any of your family even noticing. Who's more important to you, your family, or the Dark Lord?"

"He is," she said without thinking, "he is."

"Of course he is. You just keep that in mind. And if you ever have doubts, I want you to talk to me."

She nodded, ignoring the prickling in her eyes and keeping them focused on the strange bronze wire in the corner of the room.

He watched her for a few minutes in silence, before sighing and speaking again in a softer tone of voice.

"It can be hard for us," he said, "those of us whose families wouldn't support our choices. I kept it hidden until I couldn't anymore. Didn't give a rat's arse for my father's feelings, but I didn't want to hurt my mum. It's hard for us, but if you bear in mind that you're making the right choice, it gets easier. A lot easier."

She shrugged, still not meeting his eyes.

"Believe me. I know what it's like. But you haven't made your mind up yet."

She looked up sharply, her cheeks blooming with colour.

"I have! I said I'd do whatever he wants, and-"

"Not about that," he said, shaking his head, "I mean about your family. You still want to be their perfect little girl. You know you can't, but you still want to. You need to choose. And you've already chosen the Dark Lord. You can't have both. It's him or your family."

"So what," she said thickly, "I should just tell them I'm disowning them? Tell them I'm not interested in them anymore, that I've found something better?"

"Don't be a fool. You'll still act like nothing's changed. But you need to be aware that it's only an act. That's all it is."

"As if it's that easy," she said bitterly, "I-it's not."

"No one said it would be easy. That's not what matters. What matters is what you do, easy or not."

Slowly, she nodded, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

"We'll begin our 'lessons' once term starts again. In the meantime, practise emptying your mind of all thought and emotion. Do it as often as you can. Just breathe deeply, hold it, and let your mind empty."

"I will," she promised.

"Good. Because I'll know if you haven't."

The rest of Christmas Break passed in an uneventful blur. Ginny spent as much time as she dared in the Restricted Section, reading up on concepts and curses that she wanted to ask Barty to teach her.

Most of the remainder of her holiday was spent sitting with her eyes closed on her bed or in one of the empty classrooms she'd found.

Occlumency was far harder than she'd imagined it would be. She could manage to clear her mind easily enough, most of the time, but inevitably it wouldn't last more than a few minutes before some random thought broke her peaceful concentration.

Still, difficult as thinking about nothing was, she was pretty sure that she was improving. It was hard to be certain since she could barely keep track of time while she was keeping her mind clear, but she thought that she was managing to do it for longer and longer.

Practising Occlumency, rudimentary though her skills were, had some unexpected side benefits as well.

A week after she began to practice it, she was playing chess with Ron, marvelling to herself how her brother, like the rest of the Wizarding world, had no idea that Voldemort would soon be back.

She was just considering how Ron would take Harry's disappearance when those terrible thoughts began plaguing her, making her hands curl into fists and bringing up an urgent need to run to her room and grab the knife.

Before Ron could even notice anything though, she'd instinctively taken a deep breath and focused on it with all her mind.

And miraculously, the thoughts had vanished.

After that, of course, she'd started doing it whenever those thoughts occurred. It wasn't exactly a perfect solution, only serving to push the thoughts off for a bit instead of banishing them entirely the way the knife did.

It wasn't perfect, but it was good enough.

"How was your holiday?"

She grinned, untangling herself from Luna's embrace.

An image of Voldemort smiling at her flashed before her eyes.

"It was great," she said, "how about yours? How was the trip to Wales?"

"Fantastic."

Ginny raised an eyebrow, taking in Luna's wide smile.

'No way. No way.'

"You actually found it?" She asked breathlessly.

"Oh," Luna giggled, "no, we didn't. It seems that Avalon is hidden far better than we thought. But it was a lovely time anyway, and daddy thinks that he's on the right path—ooh!"

Luna exclaimed so suddenly that Ginny jumped back, almost knocking over two tiny first years that were walking through the entrance hall right then.

"Sorry!" Luna called, waving at their retreating backs.

"Maybe we shouldn't just be standing in the middle of everything?"

"I'm sure not," said Luna, "but I just wanted to find you before I go unpack. Anyways, I brought you this."

Her pocket made a tearing sound as Luna withdrew her hand with a large pink crystal clutched tightly in her grip.

It sparkled and shone, casting small rainbows out with its refractions.

"The Tylweth Teg used to make these before they went to Avalon," Luna explained, her voice sounding like it was coming from very far away, "that's how daddy knows we're close to finding it. I don't think it does anything, but it's very pretty."

Ginny just stared at it, realizing with sudden alarm that she was close to tears.

'She doesn't know. She doesn't know that he'll be back, that I'm going to help him. She deserves to know the truth.'

'If you tell her, she'll hate you. She'll turn you in, and you'll ruin everything for him.'

'She needs-'

Closing her eyes for a second, Ginny took a deep breath, focusing on nothing but the air filling her lungs.

When she opened them a moment later, her eyes weren't blurred.

"Thanks," she said, "it's really beautiful."

Luna beamed.

"I'm glad you like it. Do you want to go visit Hagrid later? I can't imagine he's feeling very good after that terrible article."

"Yeah. Let's meet back here in an hour?"

Luna nodded, placing a hand on Ginny's shoulder.

"You seem much happier," she said quietly, "did you manage to sort out that thing that was bothering you?"

A cackle bubbled up in Ginny's throat, threatening to tear its way free.

"Yeah. It's all good now."

She couldn't think of a time when she'd seen Luna looking even half as delighted as she was right then.

'Remember, it's just an act. She can't know the truth. It's just an act.'

"A few things before we start," Barty said, punctuating his words with the tap of Moody's wooden leg against the stone floor.

"Firstly, they haven't made any connection between you and Higgs. Snape's snooping around, but even he hasn't thought of you. I've been pushing them to focus on the Durmstrang kids and its working. You're going to get away with it."

She exhaled heavily, letting out a relieved sigh.

"Next time though, you should be more careful."

"There won't be a next time."

He just smirked at that.

"I think you should quit wasting your time with the Mudblood. You say you beat him every time you duel, and that's something. If you carry on with him, you'll just stagnate. And its better that no one knows how much you're training to fight."

"He wants to stop," she said, "he's only carrying on because we're friends."

"Good. He'll be easy to manipulate, if you ever need it. Now…"

He clapped his hands and rubbed them against each other.

"Occlumency. There are three main areas of Occlumency: Recognizing that someone's invading your thoughts, clearing your mind to prevent them from seeing your secrets, and creating false memories."

"How do you do that?"

He held up a hand in an unmistakable gesture for her to wait.

"The first is easy enough. You get a feel for when someone's trying it. Besides, someone's looking into your eyes and certain memories are trying to rise for no apparent reason? It's usually obvious."

"Do they have to be looking into your eyes? They can't do it without that?"

"No, eye contact is necessary. A good Legilemens doesn't really need to even wave their wand, and they'd be doing it non-verbally, but the eye contact is essential."

She nodded, looking for a second at the long golden wire that had just begun gently vibrating.

He followed her gaze and snorted. "It's been doing that on and off since I got here. We only need to worry when it really starts to shake."

"What's it do?"

"Secrecy Sensor. It'll let us know if anyone's sneaking around. Of course, we're in a school, so there's always someone trying to hide what they're doing."

He pointed at the large misty mirror.

"That's a Foe-Glass. See those indistinct shapes? Those are enemies. The clearer and closer they get in the glass, the closer they're getting in real life."

"That's useful."

"I hope it won't be. Back to business, recognizing a mental intrusion, that's the first element to Occlumency. If you don't have that down already, you will soon enough. The second one, clearing your mind. You've been practising it?"

"A lot. It-it helps with…other stuff as well."

"That it does," he said, a look of commiseration twisting Moody's scarred face. "What you want to be able to do, is to clear your mind the very instant you sense someone trying to enter it. You need to be able to do it automatically, to have it as a subconscious reaction. Once someone's already looking at your thoughts, it's much harder to do. You need to empty your head before they've even started."

"What do I do to get to that point?"

"Lots and lots of practice," he said, "it's the only thing for it. Practice on your own, and while I'm trying to access your memories. Eventually, it'll become second nature."

"But I can't do anything else while I'm doing it," she said, wringing her hands, "I can't talk, or pay attention to what someone's saying, or-"

"That's where the third element of Occlumency comes in," He interrupted, "What you do, is you split your mind, so to speak. You've got one part of your mind focused on whatever you're doing, whatever you're thinking, and the other part is blank, or filled with whatever false memories you want."

He grimaced. "I won't lie, it's incredibly difficult. But if you can pull it off, it's amazing. You can mislead anyone trying to get your memories, and it helps with a lot of other things as well. The more you do it, the quicker your mind works. It can help to break the Imperius, and theoretically, you can use it to lie under a Truth Serum."

Her jaw dropped, her eyes widening. If she could do something like that, she'd never have to worry about being found out.

'Not until To-He decides that I shouldn't be hiding anymore.'

"Really? It's that useful?"

"It can be," He said, "but I wasn't joking when I said it's bloody hard. I can barely even pull it off. You need the right type of head to really do it. Some people have it, but most of us don't."

"Oh," she said, crestfallen.

"Everyone can manage it to some degree, if they work hard enough. It's just to do it fully that's really tough. You've got to-to split your mind into two, and then push the one part up to the forefront while doing all your thinking in the other one, and you need to be reacting to whatever's going on around you. To start, I want you to try consciously thinking of two things at once."

He winked at her. "It'll give you a headache, at least in the beginning. Eventually, though, we'll get somewhere. I've got a good feeling about you. I honestly think you've got what it takes to go far."

"Really?"

"Really. You're loyal as anyone, dedicated, and you've got more than a bit of talent. You'll get high in his service. Maybe even as high as me and Bellatrix."

He sipped from his hip-flask, a disgusted expression flickering across his face.

"Absolutely horrific," he remarked, "you'd think I'd get used to the taste, wouldn't you?"

"Is it hard?" She suddenly found herself asking, "Pretending to be him?"

He chuckled darkly, his magical eye rolling around in its socket.

"I've been pretending to be someone else half of my life," he said, "and the other half I was trapped in my own body, hidden under an invisibility cloak in my father's basement."

"That must have been terrible," she whispered.

"Oh, it was. He had me under the Imperius, as well as whatever other spells he could think of. I had no control over myself, most of the time. And even when my mind was my own, I still couldn't so much as twitch a finger."

He sighed heavily, idly rubbing his forehead with one scarred hand.

"But the Dark Lord came for me. Remember that. If you're ever in trouble and he can help you, he will. He returns loyalty in kind."

"I know," she said, thinking of Lockhart.

"Yeah, I think you do. Enough side-tracking, let's get to it."

Raising his wand, he spoke again.

"Try and keep me from accessing any memories. You ready?"

The instant she nodded, he jabbed his wand toward her.

"Legilimens!"

Her jaw set, she swallowed down the bile trying to rise in her chest.

'Remember, it's just an act.'

"Colin?" She said, forcing her voice to stay even and soft, "can I talk to you for a moment?"

He looked up, his expression caught somewhere between a grin and a frown.

"Sure. But you need to give me a few pointers with Moody's essay afterwards."

She nodded, slipping into the chair opposite him.

"I wanted to-to apologize."

"Apologize? For what?"

She forced herself to meet his guileless, naive eyes.

The words she was about to say sat heavy on her lips, her stomach giving a painful lurch as she opened her mouth.

"I've been a bit…nasty toward you lately. I haven't been a good friend."

'Just an act, it's not real, I don't really care about a stupid Mudblood's feelings.'

The problem was that she thought she did, if only a little bit.

"Ginny, you haven't-"

"I have. I don't think I even really thanked you for the Hogsmeade trip. I just-I've been struggling a bit, in Runes and Arithmancy. It's got me really stressed out."

"Don't worry about it," he said, "its fine."

"It's not. But it will be. I think we should stop the duelling practice. It's just too much for me to juggle."

'Especially since I've got a much better partner.'

"I'm ok with that," he said, looking relieved, "I just-it was fun, but it's too much, you know?"

"Exactly. We should rather just hang out and relax."

"Yeah. Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me again the next weekend?"

She smiled.

"I'd love to."

"Ginny?"

She shook her head, stifling a yawn and blinking her way out of her reverie.

"Sorry, just a bit tired. What's up?"

Ron sat down next to her, shaking his head at her Numerology chart.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his tone kinder than she could have imagined he was capable of.

"Fine," she said in a puzzled voice, "why?"

'He can't know anything, he can't, I've been so careful!'

"It's just-lately you've been much more quiet than ever. And you always look exhausted. Since term started again."

She swallowed, instinctively banishing the agonizing thoughts that threatened to overtake her mind.

"I've been really busy," she said quickly, "so much homework-"

"More than anyone else in your year," he said, "almost as much as Hermione."

'He's too suspicious.'

Darting her gaze around the room, she dropped her voice to just above a whisper.

"Just between me and you, ok?"

He nodded conspiratorially, leaning slightly closer toward her.

"Moody's been giving me extra lessons."

Ron's face looked like a muggle TV, flickering through a variety of expressions until it settled on jealous pride.

"That's very cool," he admitted, "how come?"

"I was asking him questions about some of the stuff we're doing," she invented wildly, "and he said we wouldn't be getting that far in class. Mostly the same sort of thing you guys are doing. But he said that since I'm top of my year, he'd give me a bit of extra time if I wanted. I couldn't turn something like that down."

"No, you couldn't have. Merlin's pants, that's incredible. I'm proud of you."

Her smile froze, her heart skipping a beat and her belly twisting.

He was proud of her. Proud that she was voluntarily spending time with a man that had put his roommate's parents into Saint Mungo's permanently, a man who was teaching her how to hurt and kill and fight and lie.

Ron was proud that she was learning from a man who was planning to help kill his best friend.

'It's just an act! If he knew the truth it would ruin everything! You'd be in Azkaban or Saint Mungo's, and To-the Dark Lord wouldn't get Potter! It's just an act! You don't really care what he thinks, it's just an act!'

"Thanks," she said, not allowing her smile to slip, "it's definitely worth the extra work."

"I'm sure," he said, if a little doubtfully.

After a few more minutes of shared exclamations about how cool Moody was, the need to use the knife grew stronger than her ability to clear her mind.

She excused herself, saying that she needed the toilet and instead heading up to her room with tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

Her wand felt slick in her grasp, all her concentration entirely focused on the task at hand.

The spider scuttled around in its jar. She kept her wand trained, thinking with all her might how she deserved to take control of it.

"Imperio!"

It worked.

She felt the spider's awareness blossom in the back of mind, saw what passed for its thoughts as they flashed across its mind.

In a way both reminiscent and far easier than her use of the Parerum Curse, she imposed her will on the now still arachnid.

It danced to her whims, jumping up and down and rubbings its hairy legs together like an excited child.

"Good," Barty said, "you've got it!"

She turned to him, exhilaration thrumming through her.

He looked almost as pleased as she felt, with a lopsided grin and his magical eye whirling around in its socket like a spinning top.

She laughed, forcing the spider to spin a web.

"I told you it would be easy if you learned the theory," he said, "especially after what you did to Higgs."

She lowered her wand, ending the curse and separating herself from the spider.

"It was," she admitted, "you were right."

"I know. So I don't want to hear any more complaints when I give you something to read."

The triumph of her success still filling her, she nodded, her smile not fading an inch.

It seemed that Barty was right to focus as much on theory as he had. For the past month, he'd stubbornly held fast to his decision to spend most of their time on theory, no matter how much she complained.

One of their twice-weekly meetings was always spent practising her Occlumency, which had improved magnificently, while the other was for the Dark Arts and combat magic. Of course, he did show her how to actually do the spells, but he didn't want to waste the small amount of time they had together with watching her fruitlessly attempting curses.

He did give in a little bit, though, agreeing that they would spar at the end of every lesson.

She still hadn't managed to so much as disarm him.

"Is Potter still wasting his time in the library?"

"Yeah. With my brother and Herm-the Mudblood."

He nodded, his lips twitching.

He knew, of course, what Potter had been up to. But she needed to prove that she could notice people's doings. He'd been giving her lots of odd assignments like that, like telling her a student's name and expecting a list of their activities over a full week.

"I don't think there's anything even half as frustrating as that brat in this entire castle! The book he needs is in his room, all he has to do is ask Longbottom."

"What will you do if he doesn't?" She asked eagerly. Any information about their plans was like water to a parched throat for her.

"There's a house-elf who's obsessed with Potter. I'll get him to give the Gillyweed to the boy."

"Why can't you just-just grab him next time he's in Hogsmeade? Just grab him and Apparate away."

He was shaking his head before she'd even finished.

"The Dark Lord's not ready yet. He needs a bit more time before he can use the potion. And this way, I might be able to make the boy's death look like an accident."

"How would you do that?"

"There's going to be a lot of beasties in the maze. When the Dark Lord's finished with Potter, he'll send the corpse and cup back. I'll just have to make sure one of the Acromantula finds him before anyone else. And then have another champion find Potter's half-eaten corpse."

He chuckled darkly, raising his hip-flask to his mouth.

"Of course," he said once he'd finished wiping the Polyjuice away from around his mouth. "Dumbledore probably won't buy it. Could be I'll have to do a runner. But the Dark Lord will be back. It's worth it."

"It's worth anything," she whispered, ignoring the sob that tried to make itself heard.

"Exactly."

He patted her hand, looking at her with a grin.

"You've never had the chance to see him in his glory. You will. And I told you, you've got what it needs to rise high. You'll be one of us, one of his most trusted."

'I don't want his trust, I don't want him! I can't-this is-'

She took a deep breath, shaking her head wildly and clenching her hands into fists.

Mercifully, that weak, useless voice vanished after only a minute.

"It's still hard sometimes, isn't it?" He asked gently.

"I just-a part of me-"

"You don't need to explain," he said, "I understand. I really do. You just need to remember that you are doing the right thing."

"I know, it's just, sometimes-it's hard to remember that."

"That's alright. Just keep reminding yourself. It'll get easier."

'It has to. It has to. If it doesn't, I'm going to lose my mind.'

"I know what the Task will be tomorrow," Luna announced.

Ginny somehow managed to bite back her immediate response, which would have been to say that she knew as well. In fact, she also knew what the Third Task would be, and how exactly it would end.

The wind rustled through the tree above them, a few stubborn leaves giving up and dropping onto the ground around them.

"Really?" She asked, hoping that she sounded as excited as she would have if she really didn't know, "how did you find out?"

"Hagrid told me."

After a moment, Ginny realized that further prompting was necessary.

"And? What is it?"

"The Mermen in the lake have been given something belonging to each of the Champions," Luna said, waving her hand toward the lake, "They've got to find the Mermen's village and get whatever it is back, all within an hour."

"I don't like it," Luna continued before Ginny even had a chance to respond, "It just reinforces the divide between us and other magical creatures, making it out as if they're thieves."

'Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh.'

Sometimes, it was hilarious how naive Luna was, how loving and caring she was.

And sometimes it made Ginny want to weep for the innocence that she should have had.

"I'm sure the Mermen agreed to it," she said, "can't imagine they would be doing it otherwise."

"Who knows?" Luna sighed, "We can't ask them. I want to learn Mermish one day."

"Really?"

"Of course. Think of how many fascinating things they must have to tell us. Wouldn't you want to find out what they have to say?"

'Maybe once I'd have wanted to. Now, I just can't care that much.'

A bird dived toward the lake, passing within a foot of them.

Luna's sudden giggle brought tears to Ginny's eyes.

'I wish I could be that innocent. I wish I could care about something like that. I can't, and it's all Potter's fault.'

She clapped and cheered just as loud as everyone else, looking for all the world like the Task had been fun and exciting to watch.

Inside, however, she wanted nothing more than to weep.

Ron has been Potter's hostage. Ron, her brother, was the thing that Potter would miss most.

And it didn't surprise her at all to know that the reverse was probably true.

'Why are you acting like this is something new? You've known for years that Ron loves Potter more than he does you. Tom even told you so.'

The voice was not wrong. She'd known it, even accepted it.

It still hurt to be reminded. It still hurt to know that Ron would be all depressed once the Dark Lord killed Potter, even though he'd never know the truth.

Even though it would be something worth celebrating.

"He's really something, isn't he?" Colin said admiringly, pulling her away from her thoughts.

"Yeah."

"He's tying with Cedric now. I think he's going to win it, I really do."

'He will. He'll win it, and then he'll die. And then I'll have To-The Dark Lord back. He'll be back. Everything will be so much better once he's back.'

"You know," she said, "I think so too."