Something Good

Part 7: Safe

A/N: Thank you guys for reading and reviewing! If you haven't reviewed yet, please feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you like about this story, as well as any suggestions you may have. If you would like to connect via social media, my Instagram/twitter is faceinbud.

To the guest who recently reviewed my Criminal Minds story asking for answers, if you message me on one of those platforms, I'll be happy to give you information about what would have happened.

For the most part, every chapter from now on will feature explicit sexual content. Please feel free to let me know if there is something specific you would like to see!

I need to add both a disclaimer that I do not own SVU or its characters and a TRIGGER WARNING to anyone who is especially sensitive to the subjects of sexual assault and explicit sex. ANGST TO COME!

Both women knew they were getting more heated than they ever had before. Their bodies were practically intertwined, and a thin layer of sweat was forming on their skin. It weighed heavy on Olivia's mind especially that they should probably stop at some point, but the brunette definitely didn't want to, and it seemed like Amanda felt similarly, especially as she pressed her body even closer to the older woman's.

The blonde rolled both of them over onto their sides to give herself more leverage to pull Olivia closer to her. Olivia hummed softly, appreciating the access this new position granted her as well. Amanda felt her girlfriend's hand play softly with the bottom of her tank top, and then she felt nimble fingers on her bare back.

The brunette pulled away from their kiss momentarily. "Is this okay?" she asked softly, Amanda nodding quickly in response with a small smile before connecting her lips to Olivia's once more. There was nothing quite like the sensation of the sergeant's gentle but insistent fingers on her bare skin. They traced trails of scorching fire and trails of the coldest ice all at the same time. The blonde didn't even know how to process all this sensation. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before, and the fact that she knew Olivia was holding back drove her crazy. What was the brunette actually capable of, and how long would it be before Amanda found out?

Desperate lips and wandering hands overwhelmed her in the best way possible, and as the younger woman felt Olivia's tongue swirl against hers, she couldn't hold back a gratified moan for even one more second. It was all too much.

It wasn't the sound itself, but Amanda's blushed reaction to the sound, that made Olivia pull away, breathless but still concerned. "Are you alright, 'Manda?"

The blonde nodded, cheeks still beet red and eyes wide in embarrassment. "I uh…I didn't mean to make that sound."

Olivia chuckled lightly, pressing a chaste kiss to the tip of Amanda's nose. "It's okay," she reassured gently, restarting the stilled movement of her hand against her girlfriend's back, this time in order to comfort her. "I want to know that you're enjoying this," she promised. At Amanda's skeptical look, she smiled once more. "Seriously, it's okay."

Amanda nodded, trying to believe her. It's not like Olivia would ever lie to her, and she had been having a good time. The younger woman figured her disconcerted response to the sound that escaped her throat was due to the fact that Amanda had never actually moaned before, not in a wow, this feels so good, I can't even hold it in kind of way at least. Every sound she had ever made during sex had been for show, and it definitely never sounded like the noise she had just made. Amanda's years of faking to get it over with hadn't prepared her for this. She never understood how people were just naturally loud, but with each moment she spent in this vulnerable state with Olivia, she was beginning to get it more and more. And it kind of shocked her and terrified her that she felt so safe with Liv that her body had just let go like that. "Okay," she accepted Olivia's assurance, still not sure how she felt about the whole situation.

"You okay to keep going?" the older woman checked, linking her fingers with Amanda's.

The blonde smiled, before pulling Olivia against her again. Clearly, the brunette didn't have an issue with her expression of pleasure, and so neither should Amanda. It would take time to be completely convinced that she shouldn't be embarrassed, but in the present moment, all the blonde wanted was to be as close to Olivia as possible. The unfamiliar tingle that started in her heart and spread to her core was, in a word, different. But everything Amanda was feeling was different, and her girlfriend kept telling her that different was okay, as long as she still felt safe.

In the dictionary, under the word "safe", Amanda had no doubt there was a photo of Olivia Benson. Knowing she was able to explore to her heart's content, with the assurance that at any point she could ask for her physical space back and be granted it instantly and without judgement, afforded Amanda the level of freedom to be and to feel that she had never even come close to having.

As the blonde felt Olivia's lips press repeatedly against hers, she adjusted herself so that the rest of her body, down to her feet, was just as close as her lips were, and as she did, she felt the brunette's knee come carefully to rest between her legs. It was clear that Olivia knew exactly where each of her body parts were in relation to each of Amanda's, and every movement on her part was intentional and exact. The younger woman's movements were more erratic and frenzied, which Olivia didn't mind. The brunette could tell that her girlfriend was seizing the day at full force, and she allowed herself to appreciate the feeling of Amanda moving against her for a heavenly moment.

The detective was not as acutely aware of the positioning of her body, however. She didn't even question her urge to move Olivia's hand from her back to her ass, she just did it, pleased when the brunette only raised an eyebrow for a quick second. Amanda's mind was occupied with thoughts of freedom and safety, of kisses that spoke volumes, of hands blazing a trail of want, of delicious friction, and then all of a sudden—

"Amanda."

Both women froze in response to Olivia's voice. It was calm, but still cautionary. The blonde was confused for a moment until she took stock of their bodies. Neither pulled away, but both sets of eyes gazed down at Olivia's knee, which was pushed snuggly against the apex of Amanda's thighs.

The blonde gasped. "I was grinding," she observed in shock, as the brunette straightened her leg in order to pull it slightly away from its offending position.

Olivia's eyes came back up to meet hers. "Did you know?" she asked. The brunette was trying to find out if Amanda had consciously chosen to do so, or if it was just a by-product of her dazed desire.

Amanda shook her head, bewildered. "I honestly didn't even notice." She paused. "I'm sorry, I should have known. I should have asked first." Guilt settled over the blonde's features. She should have been more aware of her surroundings. It was irresponsible of her to lose herself in Olivia's embrace.

"I'm not upset," Olivia promised. "I just didn't want to keep going if you weren't conscious of what you were doing." She watched anxiously as Amanda's face remained pale. "I mean it. I want you to explore; that's the point of this. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Are you sure?" the blonde clarified, wanting to make sure the issue was resolved before they did anything else. The hand that was not wrapped securely around Amanda's waist came to rest at the top of her hair, tender fingers massaging her scalp. The older woman searched for eye contact, smiling softly when it was established.

"Absolutely. I know this can be overwhelming, but I'm really proud of you for letting go."

The blonde nodded once more, knowing that at the very least, she was allowed to have these feelings. She was in the safest space to do so, wrapped up in Olivia's arms. Amanda knew Olivia wanted nothing but the best for her. So she did feel like she owed her an explanation. "Yeah, I um…wasn't thinking, and…" She blanked again, sighing. "It's just new?" She didn't mean for it to come out as a question, and the look on Olivia's face told her the sergeant was worried they had gone too far. Instinctively, Amanda grasped the front of the brunette's T-Shirt, preventing her from moving away.

"Do you want to stop?"

It was the question Amanda dreaded hearing. No. She absolutely did not want to stop, but she didn't know how to explain to Olivia that she was also scared to continue. How did she simultaneously feel both things?

Olivia noticed Amanda white knuckling her shirt with both hands and relinquished her hold on her girlfriend in order to gently coax them free. "Hey, I need you to breathe," she instructed, wrapping her own hands around Amanda's. "Let's just take a break for a minute, okay?" She could tell the blonde was feeling conflicted (which, as far as Liv was concerned, was a red light) and needed her to know that she was still listening to her words. "I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to; you can let go, baby."

With a shaky breath, Amanda relinquished her hold on Olivia's shirt. "Sorry," she muttered. "I just didn't want you to think I wanted you to pull away."

Olivia nodded, squeezing both of her girlfriend's hands to make her point. "I get it. It's okay. What happened?"

"You'll be the first to know when I figure it out, Liv." The blonde knew what was going on, but she was still at a loss as to how to put into words what was going on in her mind.

The brunette took a deep breath. "Can I take a guess?" she asked after a bit of hesitation. She definitely wanted Amanda to express her own thoughts to her, but she also didn't want her to think she expected miracles. The younger woman was in a difficult position, and Liv wanted to do all she could to help her process what she was feeling, and with a nod from Amanda, she knew she wanted that help. "If I'm wrong, just tell me. You don't have to agree with me." She waited for one more nod before continuing.

"I think," she thought carefully, "that you're really enjoying this." It didn't take a wizard to come to that conclusion, but it meant a lot to Amanda that she could tell.

"And I think that makes you feel scared." Did Olivia have access to her thoughts?

"And you want so bad to keep going because it feels right and you know you're safe, but you're still fighting this battle with yourself." Olivia could tell by the look on Amanda's face that she was on the right track, so she continued. "So when I asked if you wanted to stop, you didn't want to tell me yes, but you absolutely weren't ready to tell me no either."

Amanda nodded. "Also," she decided to add, "the moment I hesitated, I knew we had to stop. And I didn't want to."

"I can't imagine how frustrating that must be, sweetheart. But stopping was the right thing to do. At a certain point, if it's not a green light—"

"I know," Amanda admitted, allowing Olivia to delicately trace patterns on the back of her hand. "There's room for some uncertainty with milder things, but as far as we went just now, not green is an automatic red."

"We'll do this again," Olivia promised. "And we'll be able to go farther and farther. Eventually, we won't have so many red lights. But we have to respect them when they show up."

"My sense of safety is the most important thing," Amanda agreed, sighing.

Olivia once again went to press a soft kiss to Amanda's nose, landing on her open mouth when the blonde yawned without warning. "Sorry," she laughed. "I think I need a nap."

The brunette nodded. "Do you want me to stay in here with you?" she asked, rubbing her arm soothingly.

Amanda shook her head. "No, I'm good." She smiled softly.

Once Olivia had left their bedroom, deciding to figure out dinner, Amanda sighed, flopping over onto her back. She had never intended to take a nap. She was still feeling incredibly riled up from what her and Olivia were doing earlier, and she figured now was as good a time as any to do some exploring on her own. She heard Olivia rummaging through their cabinets outside of their closed bedroom door as she reached into her bedside table to acquire the lubricant that the brunette had purchased.

Olivia didn't even know what they had in the house. The past several weeks since Francesca's case had been a blur; SVU hadn't managed to keep a case for longer than a few days because every perp they caught had made a deal with Barba. Generally, the ADA was one to fight in court, but the cases the squad had been catching lately were lose-lose, and the experienced attorney figured five years was better than acquittal. Because of this, Liv, Amanda, Carisi, and Fin were spending lots of time in the squad room doing initial investigations, leading to long nights and lots of take-out. Thus, the lack of food in the fridge.

Eventually the brunette found a jar of tomato sauce and some spaghetti. She also knew they had some vegetables to make a salad and some wine. She knew how tired Amanda had seemed towards the end of their conversation, and she hoped that a good nap and a nice(ish) dinner would help her relax.

Olivia found herself taking a steadying breath as she grabbed two pots from their pantry closet. She and Amanda had been dating for almost nine months at this point, and though it had been wonderful, it had also been intense. The experienced Special Victims cop thought she had an idea of what to expect when she began to date a survivor, but honestly, the revelation the blonde was forced to make three months ago was not something Olivia could have seen coming, and it changed so much for her. Among other things, the lifelong lesbian didn't understand why her gaydar had been so wrong when it came to Amanda. It had been clear from almost the start that the detective's interest in her was more than professional, but she still failed to see the extent of her emotional lack of fulfillment until after she had first disclosed to her about Patton.

The brunette recalled their friendship intensifying after that, the two beginning a monthly girls' night and the routine sharing of looks in the squad room. She remembered Amanda's shock when she began checking in on her regularly after a particularly brutal case. She really had never felt deserving of genuine care. Olivia plopped the jar of sauce into the heating pan in front of her as she felt her lip begin to quiver. The blonde had been alive for almost four decades and had never known what it was like to feel truly safe in the presence of another human being. And though she still felt the pressure of being in the position she was, these days it felt like more of an honor. That of course didn't mean that there wasn't any stress involved. She had to be on full alert whenever she was kissing Amanda because she never knew what (or when) would trigger her. She hoped for a day where she could completely let go the way she was encouraging her girlfriend to do, but didn't yet allow herself to wish too hard for it.

Olivia took another deep breath, reminding herself that a watched pot never boils, and then went to sit down. She found a text from Fin asking how their weekend was going. The brunette chuckled lightly, knowing her senior detective would never quite feel like he had made up for the comment he made on the night that set their current reality into motion, and then sent Fin a series of emojis depicting sleeping, eating, and relaxing.

Suddenly, there was a sound that caused Olivia to drop her phone. She immediately recognized the voice as Amanda's, and she definitely sounded distressed.

"Olivia!"

The brunette stood up quickly without picking up her phone, and she moved with purpose to the stove, turning off both burners so that boiling water wouldn't flood their kitchen in her absence. Olivia then sprinted towards their bedroom, and she knew instantly what had happened there.

Amanda, naked from the waist down, was curled up in a ball on the bed. Her cheeks were bright red and Olivia could see a steady stream of tears. At the sound of her girlfriend's footsteps, the blonde squeezed her knees even more tightly to her chest, and a heartbreaking whimper escaped her.

Noting the bottle of lube on the bed next to her, Olivia took one hesitant step forward. "Amanda," she said softly. "Baby."

The younger woman whimpered once more, and a fresh wave of tears made their way down her cheeks. Olivia kept her eyes on her girlfriend's face. "Sweetheart, it's me, it's Olivia."

The brunette risked a few more steps and watched as Amanda subtly cringed with each approaching tap of her feet. Though she didn't want to make the blonde more uncomfortable, she knew there was nothing she could do for her from the other side of the room. So she let herself move to sit on the bed, still out of arms reach.

Amanda's eyes slammed shut. "Don't touch me. Please."

Olivia willed herself to keep her voice steady. "Amanda," she vowed, holding back tears, "I promise you I will not touch you until you tell me I can. You are safe with me. Always." She noticed her slightly shaking, eyes still closed, and hair plastered to wet cheeks. "Can I cover you with a blanket? I won't touch you," she reminded.

Amanda nodded her consent, and Olivia immediately reached for the blanket she always used when she lied on the couch, hoping that her scent would help calm the blonde. She knew that smell was the strongest association sense, and thought it was worth trying.

"Sweetheart," Olivia tried again once Amanda had stopped shaking, "Do you think you can open your eyes for me, love?"

The brunette watched as the younger woman squinted at her momentarily before blinking her eyes open. "Well, hey there, beautiful," she greeted the pair of blue eyes delicately, noticing that Amanda's breathing was beginning to stabilize.

Amanda wrapped the blanket around her tighter. She was beginning to feel conscious of being cold. "Hi," she murmured in a sheepish whisper.

Olivia scooted incrementally closer to Amanda, being sure to respect her desire to not be touched. "You called for me, love. Do you remember that?"

Amanda nodded. "Do you think you can tell me what happened?" the brunette asked gently, moving to lie down so that she would be at eye level. She kept her hands in Amanda's line of sight at all times.

"I'm not sure," the blonde croaked, embarrassed. "I didn't mean to scare you—please don't be mad at me."

She wasn't sure if it was intentional, but Olivia definitely noticed Amanda flinch away from her defensively. The tone of begging in the blonde's voice made it abundantly clear that whatever had happened had not resolved itself yet. The urge to reach out to the younger woman was almost unbearable at this point. All Olivia wanted to do was to scoop her up and hold her tight, making sure nothing ever hurt her again. But now was not the time for that.

"Amanda, I need you to look me in the eyes." Again her voice was gentle, retaining just enough authority so she could be assured that Amanda would do as she asked. "Please, just look at me," she pled.

Olivia had seen hundreds of survivors have panic attacks in the field, and she had comforted each and every one of them with practiced grace. But as with everything else in their relationship, this was a new frontier. The only thing that made this situation endurable for Olivia was the knowledge that Amanda was not afraid of her. She was afraid of an invisible attacker, someone that wasn't in the room with them. Her way out was going to be by way of understanding that her and Olivia were alone together. "'Manda, it's just you and me here. Okay? Look around, baby. It's just me. No one is going to hurt you, sweetheart. You're safe. I'm not mad at you, my love, not at all. I only asked what happened because I want to know what I can I do to help you."

Amanda's eyes fearfully danced around the room, landing on the bottle of lube she had flung onto the bed next to her. "I wasn't taking a nap," was her first admission.

A sympathetic smile grew on Olivia's lips. "I know, honey. I know. It's okay."

Amanda sniffed. "I thought it was goin' really well." Her voice was still raspy from crying, but her breath had returned to normal. The blonde made a point to keep her eyes trained on Olivia's. It was just Olivia. She had called her, and she had come, and she would keep her safe, and that's what mattered. "I was figurin' stuff out, y'know? I was even still kinda turned on from before," she acknowledged softly, her cheeks flushing angrily.

The brunette ignored the ache that told her to wipe the blush away, keeping her attention focused on Amanda. When the blonde looked up at the older woman's facial expression, she expected to find some sort of judgement, but all she saw was unwavering love, and that inspired her to continue. "It was really okay," she stressed, "and I was proud of myself. And then all of a sudden, I couldn't breathe." Amanda took the step that Olivia was hoping for and allowed her hand to leave the safety of the blanket to clasp the sergeant's hand tightly in hers. "Liv, I was so scared. I didn't know what was happening."

Olivia nodded in understanding, encouraging Amanda to continue. "The only thing going through my mind was 'Get Olivia', but I couldn't talk. It took all the strength I had to call you. And then you came, and I wished I hadn't called you. I didn't want you to see me like this."

"Amanda, all I see is the strongest, most amazing person I have ever known. I know how hard asking for help can be, but I'm so proud that you called me. Please, call me when you need support. You don't have to feel self-conscious around me. I just want to help you know that you're safe."

The detective nodded, still shivering slightly. "Did I ju—just have a panic attack?" she asked, still not completely sure what had happened.

Olivia shrugged, taking a chance and reaching an arm around Amanda to rub her back through the blanket. When the blonde curled farther into the embrace, Olivia assumed she had made the right decision. "I think your body has been through a lot today, and it just needed to stop."

"I think my body is stupid." Amanda didn't mean to huff like a toddler, but the past several minutes hadn't exactly been enjoyable for her.

The older woman shook her head. "I think your body knows what it needs and how to get it. It said 'stop' and needed you to listen."

Amanda nodded, a chill travelling down her spine. "I'm so wet…everywhere. And I feel so dirty. I'm gonna need a shower to get this sweat off, Liv, but I don't know if I can stand up."

Olivia sat up, examining the current situation. "Well, then, it's gonna have to be a bath, and I'm probably going to need to carry you. How do you feel about that?"

Amanda sat up, bringing the blanket with her. God, she was tired. And she didn't really have the words to adequately answer Olivia's question. "Yellow," she shrugged.

The brunette sighed. "Okay…. Is it a yellow you'd be willing to try?"

Both women knew Amanda needed to be washed, but the blonde knew with absolute certainty that if she said no, Olivia would just curl up around her and allow her to sleep in the mess of a state she was in. But Amanda didn't want that. "Yeah, okay," was her eventual answer.

Olivia stood up and walked around to Amanda's side of the bed. "Okay, here's what I think we'll do, and you just tell me if you're okay with it. What if I pick you up, still wrapped in the blanket, and then when we get to the bathroom, I'll sit you against the bathtub. And then we'll go from there. But I won't put my hands anywhere you don't want me to." It wasn't a foolproof plan, but it was the start of something, and she wanted Amanda to have some idea of what to expect.

Amanda nodded and wordlessly reached up to wrap both arms around Olivia's neck. The sergeant put one arm around Amanda's waist, holding the blanket in place, and then used the hold as leverage to reach under her thighs with the other, hoisting her up and into the air. The detective was somewhat surprised at the security she felt. Olivia was seriously strong, or at least she was hiding the strain well. "Is this okay?" the brunette asked once she had turned towards the bathroom.

The blonde nodded again, letting her head rest against Olivia's shoulder. "Yeah, are you okay?" she asked, noting the small grunt that the sergeant made as she readjusted Amanda in her arms.

"Yeah, I'm good," she promised, entering the bathroom. "Okay, let's sit on the edge of the tub." Olivia guided her onto two feet, not letting go until Amanda said she felt steady. "What would make you most comfortable?" she asked after a moment. "Do you want me to turn away while you get undressed?" she offered.

Amanda shook her head. "You've already seen all of me," she reasoned. "I still feel kinda shaky. Can you help me?"

Olivia nodded, grasping the blanket that was wrapped around Amanda, before checking once more to ensure it was okay to remove it. "It's okay. I trust you."

With one hand, the police sergeant lifted Amanda up by her waist, and with the other, she unraveled the blanket before tossing it to the side and helping the blonde sit back down on the side of the bathtub, now only in a tank top. Her breath hitched, and Olivia's eyes widened. "Are you okay?"

Amanda nodded, grimacing slightly. "Yeah, I'm just…I'm still pretty sensitive, and the tile is cold."

Olivia's head bobbed in recognition, helping the blonde to stand up and lean against the wall instead. "That should subside fairly soon," she promised, turning on the tap and adjusting the temperature until it felt right. She ran her hand under the water for a moment before reaching quickly to grasp Amanda's hand. "Does that temperature feel okay?" she asked.

"Mhm," Amanda replied softly, before reaching weakly to remove her tank top, an involuntary wince escaping her at the movement. She sighed in frustration. "Liv, I'm sorry, but my entire body aches. I don't know if I can get this without hurtin' myself."

Olivia took a step towards Amanda, and then guided both straps of the tank top down her arms, letting it fall off her in the path of least resistance. The blonde felt Olivia's eyes on her, and though logic told her otherwise, she was expecting a predatory gaze. Still, all she saw in those chocolate orbs was compassion. "Let's get you in the water," the older woman declared. "Should help your muscles relax." After Olivia assisted her by the hand to stand in the bathtub, she asked, "Do you need help to sit?" Not only was the brunette concerned about her sore muscles, but she also wasn't sure what exactly Amanda had done in her exploration, and she didn't want her to carelessly plop herself down onto the hard tile, even if it was buffered with warm water, for fear of her experiencing more discomfort.

"No, I got it," Amanda asserted. "Ow, shit." Some water splashed out of the tub as Amanda roughly sat down, her eyes shutting tightly. She couldn't see anything, but she felt Olivia's hand come to rest against the top of her back. Her breath caught in her throat. "That hurt…everything."

"Just breathe, 'Manda. There you go."

"You tried to warn me."

"Shh, it's okay. Can I ask you something?" Amanda nodded, her eyes opening, and she noticed that Olivia had sat down on the floor outside the bath. "Can I wash your hair?"

The blonde knew her hair needed to be washed, but she also knew that Liv was aware that her hair was the most direct path to comfort, and comfort was exactly what she needed. She smiled softly. "Thank you."

"Mhm," Olivia cooed softly, reaching for a cup that resided on the sink. "Can you lean your head back for me?"

Amanda silently did as she was asked, noting that the pain that had taken up residence in her body was beginning to dull. Soon, all that existed for her was the warm water, Liv's gentle fingers manipulating her hair, and an occasional soft reminder to breathe and relax.

After a few minutes, Amanda decided to break the silence. "That feels good." She swallowed thickly as a warm cascade of water flowed over her hair.

Amanda knew Olivia was smiling before she felt soft lips brush her temple. "I'm glad." After some more time, Amanda heard her girlfriend place the cup down on the ground next to her. She could tell she was thinking.

"Liv, whatever you want to do," Amanda started, lifting her head up and turning it to face the older woman, "you can do it. I trust you."

Olivia sighed. She was still going to ask if it was okay. "I'm just looking at your back, and I can almost see how tight the muscles in your shoulder blades are," she said by way of explanation.

"They've been that tight for years, Liv, but you're welcome to try." Amanda turned her head back away from Olivia's gaze, waiting for a touch that never came. After a moment, the blonde turned to face Olivia again.

She saw a small smirk play on her lips. "What?" she questioned.

"That didn't sound very enthusiastic."

The blonde shifted her body even more. "Are you kiddin' me?" she chuckled in disbelief. "Semantics? You're getting caught up in semantics right now? While I'm naked in the bathtub and literally told you that you're welcome to try? Jesus, Liv, I really don't deserve you." Amanda rested her wet head against Olivia's chest, knowing she wouldn't care about the water, and hoping it would suffice as an offering.

"Just because it's new doesn't mean you don't deserve it," Olivia mused with a soft kiss to blonde hair.

Amanda felt Olivia's hands wrap their way around her body before coming to rest on her upper back. It was her thumbs that began to work the skin covering her shoulder blades, and Olivia immediately found that her assumption was correct. The knots she found there were more than palpable. "Tell me if it's too much pressure," she directed softly with another kiss to damp hair.

"No, it's good," she mumbled into Olivia's now soaking wet shirt. "I can't reach that spot, and honestly, it kills."

"Mm. I bet. You know," she began, "if you need help with this kind of thing, I'm happy to help," she offered.

"I think I'm gonna need help with other things too, Liv," she thought aloud after a moment, shifting in response to a squeeze of Olivia's hand.

Olivia pressed her thumbs carefully but firmly into Amanda's skin, earning a breathy sigh. "Care to elaborate?"

Amanda lifted her head from Olivia's chest, smiling awkwardly as Olivia's hands came to rest against her cheeks. "I can't…explore…by myself, I don't think. I just freeze up."

Olivia nodded, brushing her thumbs along reddened cheeks. "Okay," she pondered. "Are you wanting me to touch you or just to sit with you in case you get anxious?"

The blonde sighed, biting her lip. "I think I need you to touch me. I just get overwhelmed because there's so much to think about, y'know?"

"Mhm."

"And I learned some stuff today, so I can give you directions."

Olivia nodded again, leaning her forehead in to lightly touch Amanda's. "Good. I think we can make thiat happen."

Amanda wanted to further explain. "I don't know why I get so nervous by myself. I don't know if I don't trust myself yet or what. But Liv?"

One more soft, "Mhm?"

"I do know that I trust you."

A/N: Honestly, this is my favorite chapter so far. I hope that you like it too! I should be able to update within a week. See you all next time!

Thanks for reading!

-Gabby