Something Good

Part 8: The King Midas Touch

A/N: We're getting into it now! If you haven't reviewed yet, please feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you like about this story, as well as any suggestions you may have. If you would like to connect via social media, my Instagram/twitter is faceinbud.

To Debra Boster, I sent you a PM. ?

Every chapter from now on will feature explicit sexual content. Please feel free to let me know if there is something specific you would like to see!

I need to add both a disclaimer that I do not own SVU or its characters and a TRIGGER WARNING to anyone who is especially sensitive to the subjects of sexual assault and explicit sex. ANGST TO COME!

"Yes, thank you, Detective. Okay, goodnight." Olivia hung up the phone and sighed, turning her attention to the computer in front of her.

"Was that VICE?" Amanda asked her, looking up from her own computer.

Olivia nodded her head. "Yeah, they said they'd let us know if they see Crystal or any of the other girls." She stood up from her chair and grabbed her coat. "For now, there isn't much else we can do, and Fin is going to stay here tonight in case one of them comes in. Are you ready to go?"

Amanda logged out of her computer and stood up, checking the time on her phone. "So much for having some time to ourselves on Valentine's Day."

Christmas had come and gone, and their one year anniversary was only a month away. The time seemed to zoom by, and it was still hard for Amanda to consider it anything other than lost time. It's not that she didn't appreciate any amount of time she was able to spend with Liv, but it still felt weird to her that they weren't yet having sex. She had never been in a relationship for more than a few weeks without sex, and as with so many other things these days, the difference was still sort of disconcerting.

Olivia glanced at her phone. "It's only nine," she observed. "We could still get a late dinner."

Amanda shook her head. "I don't mean to be a hermit, but I don't really feel like bein' out for any longer than I have to be."

The brunette's head bobbed with a small chuckle. "Okay, well, we could pick up some food or order in," she offered as the two began to exit the squad room. "We have candles and wine at home. We can make it romantic and cozy." She shrugged.

As they walked into the cool February air, Amanda wrapped an arm around Olivia, the brunette returning the gesture. "I like romantic and cozy."

The police sergeant rummaged through her purse for her keys. "What do you feel like eating?"

"You pick."

"Thai?"

"Yeah, sure."

As the two loaded their bags and then themselves into the car, Amanda sighed. "Hey."

Olivia's reply was a slightly confused laugh. "Hey."

"Happy Valentine's Day."

Liv nodded with a smile, reaching to give Amanda's hand a squeeze. "Happy Valentine's Day."

An hour later found them sitting on the floor of their living room eating Pad Thai and curry picnic style, surrounded by gentle classical music and candles adorning the table next to them. Easy laughter filled the room, and both women fully relaxed into the romantic atmosphere.

"Okay, I have a question," Amanda eventually piped up.

Olivia's head bobbed as she took a sip of wine. "Alright, shoot."

"When we met, what were your first impressions? Be honest."

The brunette sighed guiltily. "Well, when we first met, I didn't really even let myself look at you…."

Amanda nodded. "I know, Liv, I'm over that. I know you were goin' through a lot. I'm just wonderin', since you know, we never really talked about those early days, and you know that I've always been obsessed."

"Yeah, I…." Olivia took a deep breath. "'Manda, once I got over my shit, I thought you were amazing. I mean, you were the most dedicated woman I'd ever met, with a huge heart and a mind to boot. Not to mention," the sergeant continued, looking up and into Amanda's pools of blue, "you have the most captivating eyes I've ever seen. They tell a story, almost. Your desire to see, to really see people, it drew me in immediately. And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that it took me so long to say something. I just figured you weren't interested."

The blonde understood. "I didn't think I was good enough for you anyway. I wasn't gonna say anything."

Olivia intertwined her fingers with Amanda's, resting both of their hands in her lap. "But now we know."

"Now we know," Amanda agreed with a small smile. "Thank you, for everything.

The older woman shook her head. This was a conversation they had had before. "You don't have to thank me, love."

Usually, the detective responded with some version of "yes, I do", but this time, she changed her tune to, "I know. I want to. Liv, your presence in my life has been such a blessin' from the very beginning, and you deserve to know how much I appreciate you."

Olivia smiled, satisfied with the direction the conversation had headed. Amanda had made so much progress within the context of their relationship over the months that preceded Valentine's Day. It seemed as if she was beginning to heal from the toxicity of her previous relationships, and she had started to settle into the normal give-and-take of a healthy one. "I appreciate you too."

The two women expressed their respective love for the other several times daily, but there was something about sharing their appreciation for one another that was even more powerful.

They let a beat pass, a moment of truly basking in the moment, and then Olivia spoke. "How about you go take a shower and I'll clean up here?"

Amanda squinted suspiciously at her girlfriend. "Why can't we clean up together?"

The brunette shrugged. "I mean, of course we can clean up together, but I know you had a long day, taking all of those statements, and I just wanted to offer."

"You took statements too," the blonde pointed out.

"Not as many as you," the sergeant countered. "I'm obviously not going to make you take a shower, 'Manda," she continued with a light laugh, "but it's Valentine's Day, and the little things count."

Amanda thought for a moment before conceding. "Touché, Sergeant Benson. I will take that shower then. As long as you're sure." The younger woman didn't want to appear ungrateful, but she did worry that Olivia often tried to overcompensate for Amanda's past by extending herself further than she was comfortable with. She had to remind herself that her girlfriend was a grown-up lady, and as such was fully capable of knowing her own boundaries.

"Yeah. I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't sure."

Soon after, the blonde had showered and brushed her hair, and walked back into the bedroom to get dressed. She had managed to pull on her underwear before she caught the sight of herself in the mirror by their desk. The detective sighed, walking towards the image. She hadn't looked at herself in a while, and the sight caught her off guard. Amanda never considered herself to be beautiful, and according to all the men she'd been with, she was cute or hot. Olivia often referred to her as beautiful, and the term made her feel like a woman, and not a girl, or an object or plaything.

Amanda heard a knock at the bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

She laughed, allowing the fingers of one hand to play with the blonde hair that cascaded over her shoulders. A by-product of her journey in the recent months was that she had become more attuned to her body as a whole. She could close her eyes and focus on a particular sensation in her big toe, for example, if she wanted. It was a gift to simply allow herself to be present. "Of course. It's your bedroom too."

Olivia opened the door, entering swiftly. "Just wanted to be sure since the door was—oh, 'Manda, I'm sorry."

Amanda turned in confusion to see her girlfriend facing the wall of their bedroom. "What are you apologizing for?" It was then that the blonde fully realized that clad only in lace panties, she was practically naked. "Oh, Liv, it's okay." The brunette didn't budge. "Seriously, babe, I invited you in. Come here."

Olivia wasn't necessarily trying to avoid looking at Amanda at this point, but she was somewhat shocked at the sight of an almost naked Amanda just standing there calmly after casually inviting her in. The brunette desired to see her girlfriend's body, wanted to drink her in like a fine wine that had been forbidden to her until now.

But she hesitated.

It wasn't that she didn't trust Amanda's words beckoning her over, but the sergeant's entire line of work had taught her to second guess everything, to double check every time. She turned slightly back towards Amanda, squinting open her eyes only slightly. "Are you sure?"

The blonde let out a full laugh. "Yes," she exaggerated, walking towards Olivia, grabbing her hands and pulling her back towards the mirror, before reclaiming the position she was in earlier. She invited Olivia to wrap her arms around her. "Liv, we've been this naked together before. I'm totally comfortable."

The older woman nodded, pressing her lips to the crown of Amanda's head. "I know. Before isn't now though, and I had to be sure."

Amanda's fingers danced along Olivia's forearm, and she made eye contact through the mirror. "I should have warned you. I'm sorry. Walkin' in and seein' me half naked was probably jarring for you."

"It's not that I don't want to look at you, love."

"I know," Amanda assured.

But Olivia felt compelled to continue. "I just don't ever want to assume that something is okay."

The blonde nodded, and then sighed deeply, leaning her body back farther into Olivia's. "You know, Liv, I thank my lucky stars everyday that I'm with someone who cares as much as you do. I'm so grateful. But there's gonna come a point in our relationship where you can't ask about every little thing, every single touch. We're gonna have to learn to communicate in other, more natural ways. Because if we don't—baby, you're gonna drive yourself crazy. I promise, I promise you that I will tell you if you do somethin' that makes me feel uncomfortable, okay? You gotta trust me to do my part because it can't be all on you."

"You're right, 'Manda," the sergeant murmured into her girlfriend's hair, empathizing with the poorly concealed frustration with which she spoke. "It's something I'm going to have to work on."

"It's okay if it takes time, but you deserve to enjoy this process too. I just want you to know that I'm not a time bomb, Liv. I know we'll have setbacks, but I won't let you do somethin' that I don't want you to, okay?"

Olivia nodded, pulling one arm from the embrace and using its hand to move some of Amanda's hair away from her neck, and then she pressed her lips to the skin she had freed up, letting them linger for a moment as she saw the blonde's eyelids softly close and felt the vibration of a contented sigh. "Okay."

This was a huge step for Olivia. Amanda may have feared sexual contact, but the hesitance she felt was nothing compared to the brunette's dread at the idea of them moving at a pace that felt unsafe to her girlfriend. Every time the mere thought entered her mind, it created a ball of uneasiness and nausea low in her stomach, and it became more and more imperative to the older woman that they were impossibly careful. Logically, she knew Amanda was right. It's not like navigating consent had ever been an issue for them. The hardest part of it was the blonde's propensity to overexaggerate her willingness to try something, which Liv could usually spot from a mile away, and with Amanda making strides with communicating her needs, was no longer all that problematic.

But still. Liv wanted to ask about every single maneuver. It was instinctual almost, in her blood. She knew it made Amanda feel awkward and she wanted to stop, but she was also aware that it was always better to be safe than sorry, and until both women had settled into communicating nonverbal affirmative consent, neither expected to nor intended to change all that much.

Olivia rested her chin against Amanda's shoulder for a moment and registered the weight of the blonde's breasts against her arms. She kissed her shoulder, surrendering into the warmth. "You're beautiful by the way."

The blonde hummed with a small smile. "Look who's talkin'."

"No, I really mean it," the older woman emphasized, meaningfully meeting Amanda's eyes through their shared mirror. "I don't want to stare and make you uncomfortable" she explained, "but while we're in this moment, I just have to tell you, baby—you are breathtaking."

"You can look," the blonde assured, reaching behind her and tangling her fingers in Olivia's chestnut locks in order to keep her close. "You can do more than look."

"Hmm," the brunette mused against Amanda's skin. "I'll certainly keep that in mind."

"So," Amanda asked, feeling Olivia's lips gently against her neck once again, "how else should we celebrate tonight?"

There was no mistaking the suggestiveness in her tone. The brazen inquiry was out of character for Amanda, and it made the brunette lift her head and widen her eyes. There was always a question of "is this out of confidence or out of a sense of obligation?" But the sergeant wasn't dumb. In her arms, Amanda's body was completely relaxed, and she had turned her head slightly away in order to grant her girlfriend's lips more access to the skin of her neck. The younger woman always held anxiety in her body, and in that moment, there was none to be found.

Amanda's eyes widened in speculation. "Why are you lookin' at me like that?"

Olivia had put some work into no longer disguising her reactions to things her girlfriend said or did. She let herself sigh in response to a pleasurable touch or raise an eyebrow at an unusual statement. She had long spent time trying to protect Amanda from discomfort, but at this point she wanted to be natural because she knew walking on eggshells wasn't going to get them far. She was glad, however, that her girlfriend brought up the look on her face because the brunette didn't want Amanda to think the question was unwelcome. In fact, it was entirely welcome. The warmth Olivia felt low in her abdomen was evidence of that. "What you said was just bolder than I'm used to," the older woman reasoned.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, not at all," Olivia promised, before noticing something distinct in Amanda's eyes. "How much wine did you drink?" she asked gently after a moment. "Your pupils are dilated."

Amanda chuckled and then spun around in Olivia's arms, placing both hands on either side of her girlfriend's face. "One glass, almost an hour ago, Liv. Same as you," she swore. She then added in a near whimper, "I'm not drunk, Olivia, I'm horny."

Her words were clear, and there was no mistaking the meaning behind them. It was also obvious that Amanda had no intentions of taking them back, as her eyes bore into Olivia's. For the first few weeks the two women were practicing touches in their "yellow" column, Amanda spent a lot of time hyping herself up and attempting to bring herself into the space of feeling any form of pleasure. Eventually, she had to start circumventing those old attempts, and was trapped into the not as pleasant task of letting her body come down from an excited high, unfulfilled and somewhat empty.

It had been five months of mere seconds between "this feels good" and "we have to stop right now", and the cumulative effect of the frustration it caused had begun taking its toll on Amanda. The few near successes she had had when exploring on her own only added to the dissatisfaction her body had come accustomed to. Amanda felt her skin electrify lowly every time Olivia walked into a room, and she felt it jolt to life with every caress. The farthest they had gone together was topless kissing, and though Amanda questioned the wisdom of it, her body begged for more. The blonde knew that her girlfriend was only partially aware of what her touch did to her because there was no way Amanda expected that the sergeant would have continued the exhilarating torture if she had known.

She knew now.

Olivia reached up and claimed Amanda's hands in her own, before bringing both pairs down to hang between them. "Sounds like this has been going on for a while," Olivia ventured after a breath.

Amanda nodded. "I just don't know how to reconcile this indescribable desire with my fear of the unknown."

"Is that what scares you?" the brunette asked, tenderly stroking her thumbs over the back of her girlfriend's suddenly clammy hands. "Not knowing what to expect?"

"Yeah," the younger woman whispered, cautiously stepping closer to Olivia. "You've done such an amazing job preparing me and teachin' me, Liv, but I feel like I'm still gonna have to take a leap of faith."

"You feel like you're always going to feel some anxiety no matter how long we wait, like there's going to be a point where you're not going to feel any more ready no matter what we do."

Amanda nodded once again. "It doesn't help that my body is miles ahead of my brain. I just don't feel like I have any control anymore."

Olivia's right hand came to rest against her girlfriend's cheek, her thumb moving slowly over a reddened cheek. "Okay, love, so what—what can we do to give you back some control? What do you want right now?"

Amanda took a shaky breath. "I don't know how you'll feel about this."

"Talk to me, Amanda. It's just me. I want to know what I can do to help." Olivia stared into wide eyes and watched how her thumb had blazed a trail of red heat over her girlfriend's cheek.

"Usually when we fool around, we kind of set a stoppin' point," Amanda started, searching the sergeant's features for understanding. "And I was wondering what would happen…if we didn't. If we just saw how far we could go. I'm not asking to have sex right now, but what if we decided to see how close we could get. Would you be open to that?" The blonde was acutely aware that she was still mostly naked, but somehow it was the words she was speaking that made her feel truly exposed.

The brunette nodded after a moment. "Are you positive that your desire isn't clouding your judgement?

The younger woman knew the question had to be asked. The truth was Amanda was always asking it of herself. She didn't want to push herself into doing something she wasn't ready for any more than Liv did. The past five months had been a colossal act of self-love, and she'd be damned if she was going to let the pesky nag between her legs control her actions. "I feel very sure that this is our next step. We've moved all my yellows to green. It's time to tackle the reds. I wanna feel you everywhere."

Olivia's breath caught in her throat at her girlfriend's words, and Amanda could see her fighting her own reaction. "I don't want you to feel bad about wanting this too, Liv. We can both enjoy ourselves and still know we can stop at any point."

The blonde watched her girlfriend step impossibly closer to her and felt an arm wind around her waist, coming to rest against her hip, which was the only area of her body covered in clothing. "I'm so proud of you," she whispered almost reverently, the air between them becoming hot.

"I know you want to kiss me," Amanda observed, swallowing thickly. "Do it."

And that was all it took for the brunette to tangle the fingers of both her hands deeply into Amanda's golden locks, pulling her bare chest and torso tightly against Olivia's shirt. The friction of the fabric against the detective's nipples was heavenly, and she broke the kiss to loudly express approval. The older woman smiled broadly at the shameless gesture and happily reconnected her lips to Amanda's. She reminded herself that she didn't need to verbally ask about every little thing because her girlfriend was clearly excited about this and seemed ready to share information about any discomfort if the need should arise.

There was none to be found though, so Olivia slowly pressed her tongue against Amanda's lips, happy to be granted entrance. There was no fight for dominance, just a tango of love and passion, both women giving and taking simultaneously. The brunette's hands wandered slowly to the skin of Amanda's back, and as she gently trailed her nails over her girlfriend's shoulder blades, she consciously registered how much more dressed she was than her.

Reluctantly, Olivia pulled away from the kiss, and Amanda immediately attached her lips to Olivia's neck, sucking and biting carefully, which she had learned was something the sergeant immensely enjoyed. Liv returned a hand to Amanda's hair, sighing at the sensation of her girlfriend's mouth against her skin, before remembering the reason she had initially pulled away. "Do you," she panted, "I mean is it okay if I take off my shirt and bra?"

Amanda lifted her head so that Olivia could see her. She really wanted to feel Olivia moving topless against her, and she knew the brunette would feel more comfortable with the idea if she could see her nod. "Please."

The blonde assisted her girlfriend in removing the offending clothing keeping her bare olive skin away from Amanda's touch, and they made quick work of the task, both stealing a moment to just take the other in, and then Amanda wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck, initiating a hug. Liv sighed first, bringing both arms around the woman she loved, one hand gripping her back and the other softly massaging her scalp. Amanda buried her face in the brunette's neck, inhaling vanilla shampoo with a low hum. "I love you," she whispered against flesh that had become damp with sweat.

Olivia squeezed the detective to her even more tightly. "I love you too." She pressed a quick kiss to Amanda's shoulder. "Do you want to lie down? I can feel your legs shaking and I don't want you to worry about falling."

Amanda nodded. "I'm not shaking because I'm nervous," she promised, letting Olivia lead her towards the bed.

The older woman pulled her pants off so that both women were wearing only underwear. "I know," she replied, tossing the piece of clothing into the pile where everything else was. "Just let me know if you do get nervous because we can take a break."

Amanda acknowledged the request with a smile before pulling Olivia fully on top of her and lying her head down on the brunette's pillow. Liv was now surrounding her, and it was exactly what she wanted. She sucked her upper lip in between her teeth. "Can we just…talk through anythin' we haven't done before?"

Olivia nodded, brushing some stray hair back and behind her girlfriend's ear. "Absolutely. We'll talk about everything new before we do it, okay?"

"Okay." Amanda smiled before chasing Olivia's lips with her own, and soon they were kissing just as passionately as before. The blonde ran her hands over the muscles of the sergeant's back, and she arched her back into the touch. Amanda used the moment to roll them over so that she was on top before moving her lips to Liv's ear, whispering loving words in between wet kisses.

She sat up fully, straddling Olivia's thighs and letting her hands wander over her sides and stomach, inching them upwards towards her breasts. "Is this okay?" she asked softly, waiting for a breathless nod before letting her fingers dance onto the olive globes atop a heaving chest. Olivia was so soft and so warm, Amanda thought she might explode. The sergeant's lips were parted slightly, and she felt as if she could watch Amanda explore her body forever. The sensations she felt were amazing by themselves, but looking at the absolute wonder and lust in Amanda's eyes as she gently tweaked a nipple was simply indescribable. The detective looked up at Olivia after a taking a moment to assess the older woman's level of sensitivity, and she was wearing a shy but mischievous smile. "Can I…use my mouth?"

The brunette tried to ignore the wetness that pooled in her underwear at her girlfriend's words. She had the right to enjoy this, but she wanted so badly to focus on Amanda's exploration. She tried to keep her voice even and uninvested as she answered, "If…if you want to."

The younger woman knew that Olivia enjoyed a sucking sensation on her neck, and that gave her an idea. With one more smile, Amanda moved from her straddle position to lie mostly next to Olivia, allowing only her head to hover over the sergeant's chest. Checking for one more nod, Amanda lowered her lips to the soft flesh below her. A soft gasp escaped Olivia and her hand came to rest in the blonde's hair. As they made eye contact, the brunette watched a darkened peak disappear into her girlfriend's mouth. Amanda was going to ask if she was sucking too hard, but when the hand that was holding her head pulled her forward, she figured she had the right idea already.

Eventually, the younger woman released the bud with a soft pop. "Was that okay?" she asked with a sly smile, already knowing the answer.

Olivia laughed, lowering her hand and massaging Amanda's neck lightly. "My God. When did you learn how to do that?"

Amanda giggled, pressing light kisses along Olivia's collarbone. "I'm a quick study." She shrugged.

"I couldn't agree more." Liv's fingernails lightly trailed over Amanda's ribcage. One of the things she had learned about her was that she liked gentle scratching. "Can we flip back over?"

The blonde nodded, lying on her back and waiting for Olivia to switch her position. After she did, the brunette hovered over her girlfriend for a moment, thinking. The fingers of one hand intertwined with the fingers of one of Amanda's, and the other came to rest on the plane of her stomach, nails scratching lightly.

"Is everything okay?" the detective eventually asked, her fingers brushing against Olivia's.

The older woman smiled softy and pressed a kiss to Amanda's lips. "Yeah, just giving you a break."

"I'm okay to keep going," she intoned, placing her free hand on top of the one of Olivia's that was on her belly, gently guiding it upward until careful fingers caressed the underside of her left breast. "It's okay," she promised. "I trust you."

With a quick squeeze to the hand she was holding, Olivia focused her attention on the movements of her other hand. She gently manipulated the soft skin beneath her fingers, noting that Amanda was a perfect handful and that they fit exactly together in this way.

Her eyes stayed trained on Amanda's face, watching for any signs of hesitation, but what she found were darkened blue orbs expressing nothing but trust. For added measure, the blonde decided to speak. "That feels good," she sighed, pulling Olivia in for a kiss.

Both women smiled into the kiss, and Amanda closed her eyes, drowning happily in what her body was experiencing. Olivia's hands were soft and gentle, but still moved with practiced intention, and it was clear that the ministrations, combined with wanting mouths, were designed to arouse. That didn't bother Amanda in the slightest. She wanted to feel this way. The safety and freedom of it all was overwhelming, and she felt as if she were running down a familiar street, oxygen forcing its way into her lungs, and exhilaration relaxing her body as she moved against Olivia. She found her hips bucking into the air of their own accord, and though part of her wanted to pull away, embarrassed, there was a more powerful force keeping their lips together now, and Amanda decided she wouldn't have stopped kissing Olivia in that moment if the world depended on it.

Olivia squeezed her side in a quick gesture of comfort, knowing Amanda may have been concerned by the involuntary motion, before trailing her hand down to the blonde's thigh, squeezing and scratching in time with the movement of her other hand on Amanda's chest.

It was Amanda who had to pull away. "Sorry, just needed some air," she heaved with a gentle chuckle, assuring Olivia that nothing was wrong.

"Reasonable," Olivia mused through kiss-bruised lips.

Amanda thought for a moment, shifting on the bed, and noting the odd pressure she felt between her legs. It wasn't a new sensation, but she certainly had not experienced it to this degree before. "Liv, do you think we can do that Goldilocks thing together?"

"Now?"

"Yeah, why not?" She wanted to sound casual, but the pleasant throbbing she felt made her squirm a little, definitely not going unnoticed by Olivia.

"Only if you're comfortable with it." The brunette hoped Amanda would be oblivious to her breath quickening. She was possibly about to get the chance to touch Amanda, like really touch her, but she didn't want to seem too excited. She was more than willing to cuddle up and go to sleep if that's what Amanda wanted, but she was unable to disguise the small glimmer of hope in her voice.

Amanda nodded, and the smile on her face was enthusiastic. "I would really like to try."

Olivia leaned over for one more quick kiss before sitting up onto her knees. "Can you grab the lube out of your cabinet for me?"

The blonde's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, we're gonna do this right now?"

"I thought we'd warm up a little more first," she assured. "Just wanted to be ready."

"Oh, okay." Amanda leaned over to reach into her bedside table, and Olivia let herself enjoy the view for a moment. "Here," Amanda whispered, passing the bottle off to her girlfriend with a slightly shaky hand.

"You know, we really don't have to do this," she reminded, taking the container from Amanda and setting it down next to her, before bracing herself on her elbow to get a closer look at Amanda's face. She watched her girlfriend drape her arm over her own stomach, almost as if in self-preservation. Olivia placed her hand over the younger woman's, before moving it back and forth over her forearm.

Amanda nodded with a shaky breath. "You remember what I said about being nervous?" Olivia's head bobbed in memory, but she wanted Amanda to finish her own thought. "I know that I'm safe with you, and I want to do this, but I think I'm still gonna be a little scared. It's weird cause no one has ever touched me like this."

"Okay, that's understandable," Olivia sighed, giving Amanda's arm a squeeze. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Just…take it slow, I guess."

Olivia nodded. "We'll take it slow," she guaranteed, "and I'm going to be so, so gentle, I promise."

"And talk," Amanda added.

"Of course," Olivia vowed. "We're going to communicate the whole time. Can I ask you to do something to help?" Amanda nodded. "Don't feel like I want you to respond a certain way. Do what feels natural. I would say the only thing I wouldn't want is for you to just lie there. I'm not doing something to you. This is something we're doing together. I need some sort of feedback. Our color system works if it's more comfortable."

Amanda totally understood Olivia's concern that she would just lie there like a statue. That was generally her go to in previous relationships, if she hadn't decided to fake in order to make it go faster. And although she was still anxious, knowing that's exactly what the brunette didn't want went a long way as far as comfort goes.

They kissed for several minutes longer before Olivia rested her forehead against Amanda's. "Can I touch you over your underwear?" Both hands remained steady on the detective's waist.

It was a logical step. Amanda spread her legs slightly farther out to give Olivia more access before nodding quickly.

"Do you want me to kiss you or would you rather focus on one thing at a time for now?"

The sergeant's understanding of how Amanda became overwhelmed was still beyond comprehension for her, but she appreciated it all the same. "Can you talk to me?"

"Of course. I could talk to you forever." Olivia smiled, pressing a kiss to the tip of Amanda's nose, and the gesture brought her back to when they had first started having conversations about sex, to when the blonde was first learning the safety of her girlfriend's touch, and calm settled over her. "While we're starting, I'm going to tell you everything I'm going to do before I do it because I don't want you to be surprised by a touch. Does that sound okay?"

"Mhm."

"Okay, I'm going to put my hand on your thigh, just like I was doing before."

Amanda nodded again. "Is it okay if I just tell you if I don't want you to do somethin'? My neck is gonna start hurting if I keep nodding like this," she chuckled lightly.

Olivia did as she said she would before smiling softly from her position beside Amanda. "Of course. That didn't even occur to me. Remind me to give you a neck massage later."

Amanda allowed one of her hands to grasp Olivia's free forearm. "Can you hold my hand?"

The brunette adjusted her position so that she could interlock her fingers with Amanda's, a reminder that they were in this together. "Okay, remember to breathe," she advised. "Are you comfortable?"

It was a direct question, so Amanda nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. You can touch me."

"I'm going to move my hand up your thigh slowly. I'm not going to jump from place to place, that way you can predict what's going to happen next." The younger woman wondered if her girlfriend had spent time planning this out in detail because the sequence of events sure felt prepared. Not in an unnatural or scripted way, but it definitely felt like Olivia knew what she was doing.

Olivia's hand trembled slightly as it made its way to its destination. She had to trust that she knew Amanda well enough to take care of her emotional needs, to make her feel safe in every moment. "I'm just going to put my hand over your underwear, love." Seeing no signs of hesitation, the brunette went ahead with the movement. She registered the dampness of Amanda's underwear before she heard the sharp intake of breath.

"I'm good," Amanda breathed, knowing Olivia would question the jarring sound so soon into what they were doing. "You can move your hand."

Liv acknowledged what Amanda had said with a soft hum before carefully moving her fingers back and forth over the blonde's underwear. "How does it feel?" she asked after a minute or so.

"It's good," was Amanda's reply. "It's not earth-shattering yet though, if that's what you're wonderin'."

The older woman pressed her lips to Amanda's temple. "I didn't expect it to be," she laughed. "I don't have The King Midas Touch."

The detective raised an eyebrow, to which Olivia laughed again. "Not everything I touch instantly turns to gold," she explained.

Oh. Back to the pot of gold jokes. "Very funny." Amanda's brow furrowed as she felt one of Olivia's fingers ghost just barely over the fabric covering her clit. "Can I take off my underwear?"

"It's your ship to steer. Do you want some help?" Amanda wordlessly lifted her hips, and Olivia guided the lace down her legs before tossing them off the bed. The younger woman allowed her legs to remain spread apart, and Olivia's eyes landed on the glistening lips laid out before her, stunned into silence for an extended moment. "God, you're beautiful."

The detective appreciated the compliment, however odd it may have been, but she had waited way to long for this. "Please."

Olivia nodded with a knowing smile. "I'm going to take care of you, sweetheart. Try and relax for me."

The blonde breathed in deeply, reaching for Olivia's dominant hand and pulling it towards wet flesh, but not completing the journey. "I'm going to grab some lube first," the brunette explained, gently pulling her hand out of Amanda's grasp. "I'll be quick," she promised. Olivia remembered her girlfriend's sensitivity to cold and made the decision to warm up the jelly-like liquid between her fingers before allowing it to touch Amanda's skin. "You're going to feel the same thing as before." The brunette, aware of Amanda's desperation (and if she were being honest, her own) decided not to waste any more time as she saw the blonde close her eyes softly in anticipation.

The gasp Olivia heard was her own as she felt her fingers become enveloped in warm, wet velvet. With the detective's blessing, the brunette dipped her fingers farther into the wetness she found between Amanda's legs, moving just over her entrance while making a point not to push in at all.

Amanda's eyes had closed, and her cheeks had further flushed, but she remained silent and still. "Baby? You still with me?" Olivia asked softly, stilling her hand totally.

The blonde's eyes snapped open. "Sorry, no, I'm here."

"Do you want to stop?"

Amanda shook her head. "Please, no. Green, very green."

Olivia chuckled lightly. "Closing your eyes can help you to concentrate. I just need to know you're not dissociating."

Amanda understood. She could conceivably have a flashback without Liv noticing for several seconds, and she didn't want her girlfriend to fear that happening. "How about I tell you what I learned when I tried on my own?" The younger woman desperately didn't want Olivia to stop touching her. The gentle stimulation was simultaneously fanning the flame deep within her and pouring water on it. It was the perfect combination of arousing and satiating.

"That's sounds good."

"So, I like d-direct stimulation," she stuttered, trying to keep her eyes open. "And circles."

Olivia nodded, taking in the information and squeezing the hand that was intertwined with hers. "I know it was a while ago, but do you remember anything about what kind of speed and pressure felt good?"

Amanda shrugged with a light shudder as she felt Olivia's hand continue to move between her legs. "Pretty hard and pretty fast? I know that's probably not helpful."

"No, it's very helpful," Olivia reassured with a soft smile. "You just might have to direct me a little. Are you okay with that?"

"Mhm." Amanda reached to hand her girlfriend the lube. "Oh, and I'm like really sensitive, so I think we'll need a lot of this."

"Nothing wrong with that," she promised, taking the bottle from Amanda with the hand that had been holding hers. "We'll make it work." She warmed up a small amount once again before tossing the bottle out of their way and returning her hand to its previous ministrations. "I'm going to start with very gentle circles, and we'll go from there, okay?"

After yet another nod (Amanda no longer cared if her body ached after this), Olivia brought her fingers up to tenderly brush against the blonde's clit, expecting and receiving a buck in response. Amanda reminded herself that this was an involuntary reaction to stimulation of the nerves, not unlike the knee reflex. "It's okay," Olivia soothed. "Let your body do what it does, love."

She continued moving in slow, tender circles, and eventually the younger woman's limbs relaxed back down into the bed, and her legs spread farther apart.

"Can you go a little harder and a little faster?" Amanda quietly requested after some time.

"Mhm." Olivia complied, letting the fingers of her left hand rest on the top of Amanda's head. Her hair was practically a birds' nest at this point, but to the sergeant, it only added to the beauty of the blonde letting go. "Does that feel better?"

"Mm. That's perfect, Liv," she breathed, reaching her own hand out to tangle in Olivia's hair. "Come here."

They met in a sloppy kiss as Amanda's lips needed to stay parted in order to suck in a necessary amount of air.

Everything was happening too fast for Amanda to comprehend. She was experiencing sensation everywhere, and nothing she had ever felt even compared. She found her attention going elsewhere, so she forced her eyes to meet Olivia's, made herself focus on the moment, reminded herself to stay with Olivia. After all, where else would she rather be?

A burn low in her abdomen began increasing in intensity, and this was terra incognita—unknown territory. Amanda had never felt this particular sensation, and although she didn't dislike it, she did dislike the anxiety that came with it. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Everything Olivia was doing—with her fingers, with her lips—felt indescribably good, but the uncertainty and associated frustration building in Amanda's body certainly did not, so she knew she would be doing a disservice to herself if she allowed them to continue.

I'm gonna ask her to stop.

Just one more stroke.

Just one more kiss.

I mean it this time.

It took all the mental strength Amanda had to reach out and manually still Olivia's hand. "Liv, I-I need to stop."

Olivia's hand immediately turned to wrap around Amanda's, and she shifted entirely off of her girlfriend. "Did something happen? Are you okay?"

Still breathless, Amanda tried to form words. "Yeah, I, um." She stalled, and Olivia squeezed her hand encouragingly. "I thought I was going to—you know—and I panicked. I'm sorry."

Relieved, Olivia reached out a comforting hand to rub Amanda's arm. "Hey, you're fine. You did amazing."

A surge of hope reignited in Amanda's heart. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, absolutely. If you're not ready to go all the way yet, that's completely okay."

"I didn't want to stop, I just got scared."

"Hmm." Olivia wrapped an arm around Amanda, reaching for a blanket to cover them both. "Well, thank you for taking care of yourself anyway, even though it was hard. I appreciate your honesty, love. I don't ever want you to think we have to finish just because we started."

Amanda's head bobbed in understanding, absorbing her girlfriend's words, and feeling secure in the thought that tonight was a good thing. They got farther than either of them expected. And tomorrow was a new day. "I think I just need a little more time," she decided. "Eventually, I'll accept The King Midas Touch into my life."

A/N: I am so sorry for the amount of time it took to write and post this chapter. I hope the length and content made up for it. Thank you to those who left reviews reminding me to update. I can't make any promises about when the next one will be posted because I want to make sure I take the time to get it right, but rest assured, it's coming.

Thanks guys!

-Gabby