Something Good

Part 10: Something More

A/N: Last chapter last chapter last chapter! If you haven't reviewed yet, please feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you like about this story. If you would like to connect via social media, my Instagram/twitter is faceinbud.

Thank you everyone for reading, and I hope you enjoy the final chapter, along with the novel of an author's note at the end!

I need to add both a disclaimer that I do not own SVU or its characters and a TRIGGER WARNING to anyone who is especially sensitive to the subjects of sexual assault and explicit sex. ANGST TO COME!

Amanda registered awareness of her surroundings slowly the next morning. As she came to, the first thing she noticed was comfort.

Warmth.

Olivia.

The blonde felt an arm draped protectively over her naked form and soft fingers absently playing with her hair. The sergeant must have awoken before Amanda did, and the younger woman debated letting her know that she was conscious. On one hand, if she pretended to still be asleep, she could spend as much time as she wanted just lying there in Olivia's arms, which would be heavenly. But on the other hand, the sooner the brunette knew she was awake, the sooner they could resume the previous night's activities—heaven squared.

Amanda's decision was quickly made for her, however, as she began to feel pressure build in her nasal cavity. Shit. She had to sneeze. The crinkle in her nose gave her away before the gross explosion of snot could.

Olivia smiled softly to herself, reaching to her bedside table to grab a tissue before offering it to Amanda, who's eyes were still closed. She pictured her first words to her girlfriend this morning as being a bit more romantic than "tissue?", but the domestic nature of the interaction was soothing to the brunette.

Amanda nodded, this time opening her eyes. "Danks," she lisped out, still possessing some crud in her nose. This was not a sexy way to begin the morning. The detective blew her nose quickly, appreciating being able to breathe again. "How long have you been awake?" she asked after a moment, chucking the used facial tissue into the modest garbage can by their bed.

"Oh, not too long," Olivia replied, pulling Amanda closer to her and resting their foreheads together. "How do you feel?" The older woman didn't expect that Amanda felt awful this morning, but she did want to confirm with her that the previous evening had gone as well for the blonde as it had for her.

The wide smile that broke on Amanda's lips immediately quelled any fear that Olivia was having. "I'm still workin' on words," the younger woman admitted. "You?"

"Good. I feel good," she promised quickly, wanting to return her attention to Amanda. "You're not sore or anything?"

The question caused Amanda to consciously take note of what was happening in her body. She frowned for a moment in confusion as she took stock, and the expression freaked Olivia out, to say the least.

"Oh my God, did I hurt you, baby? I—"

Amanda cut Olivia off mid panic. "No, no, no, Liv, that's not why I made that face. I just realized…I'm not in any pain at all right now. I don't hurt anywhere. I'm really relaxed."

"Well, intense physical release will do that for you."

"No, it's not that." Amanda realized that statement wasn't exactly true, so she amended her words with a small smirk. "I mean, it is, but it's more than that. I feel like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders. I feel lighter."

A smile returned to Olivia's face. She didn't remember anything happening the night before that would have made her girlfriend feel pain this morning, but causing the detective any kind of discomfort was her biggest fear, and it was a huge relief to hear that what Amanda was experiencing was the opposite of distress. "That makes me so happy to hear, love. I'm so proud of you."

Amanda took a deep breath, wrapping an arm around Olivia's waist and resting her hand on her lower back. "So last night...it was pretty intense. You said that it probably wouldn't be because I'd never done it before."

The sergeant nodded. "Well, everyone's different, but yeah, that's what usually happens. You actually came harder than I expected you to. I didn't even know if you'd be able to at all since you hadn't figured it out on your own yet."

The blonde didn't know what to make of that. "I guess I'm just atypical."

Olivia shook her head. She didn't intend to make her girlfriend self-conscious. She just had been denied the truth about sexuality for so long, it was important to the older woman that she speak with Amanda in an honest way. "No, you're just a person with a body as unique as your personhood. Nothing to stress over. I'm glad it worked out that I was able to be there for you, especially because of the intensity of what you felt."

The detective sighed, feeling some relief. The last thing she wanted at this point was to be the girl who comes weird. "I was gonna say," she began after a moment of processing, "if it gets even more intense than that, then...wow."

"Well," Olivia started, smiling softly, "it still might get more intense. Last night was so emotional for both of us, and it was absolutely incredible. Now we get the joy of exploring more and seeing what your body can do, if that's what you want of course."

Amanda thought about it. There was more? She was capable of more? She wasn't quite sure where to file this information in her brain. Fears? Things she'd rather forget? (That one was full!) Or could she allow herself to file it in a new location, something she was tentatively titling "more." More good. More love. More joy. "Yeah," she laughed awkwardly, "definitely."

Olivia decided that while they were going down this road, it may be a good idea to ask one more thing of Amanda. "I do want to encourage you to keep exploring on your own now that you have some idea of what to expect. And if you ever feel stuck, we have what we did last night to go back to."

"Yeah, no, I will." Amanda wanted to occupy the "more" file with as much as she could. Liv was right the other day about breaking the dam—but now the blonde wanted to push as much water through as possible. "It's just the intensity piece is hard for me cause I spent my whole life literally tryin' to feel absolutely nothin', so."

Olivia smiled sadly at the reminder, wanting more than anything for the pain that Amanda had been through to disappear. There was nothing worse than watching someone she loved hurt, knowing there really wasn't much she could do to take the pain away. "You've worked hard for this, sweetheart," the brunette acknowledged, cradling a cheek in her hand, "and you deserve it."

Amanda nodded. "I know that now."

It was a rather interesting situation the blonde was in, she pondered, because though she genuinely did know that she was entitled to everything Olivia had been promising her that she deserved for months, she still experienced moments, now just fleeting flashes of doubt, in which she questioned that truth. So, though she was proud to proclaim to her girlfriend that she was aware of what she deserved, she was also deeply grateful for the occasional reminder.

She also wanted to make sure that Olivia knew she was entitled to the same things Amanda was, and that they could still have a healthy sexual relationship that went both ways. "Are you gonna let me return the favor today?"

"Mhm," was Olivia's soft reply. She then cautiously added, "As long as you want to."

"Of course I want to," Amanda stressed. "I know you're worried about me feeling obligated, but I'm not in that place anymore. I wouldn't be offerin' if I didn't want to do it. I've been dreamin' about this for months."

The sergeant smoothed her hand over her girlfriend's hair. "Okay," she sighed. "I'm sorry I keep checking. I'm not trying to ruin the mood or anything."

The younger woman watched Olivia bite her lip anxiously, and Amanda was struck by the way in which the brunette was apologizing to her. Did she want Olivia to stop asking if she was okay every thirty seconds? Of course! But did she want her to stop checking in entirely? Absolutely not! And more than that, the detective didn't want Olivia to ever feel self-conscious about being as loving as she was. She just wanted her to relax a little bit, for her own benefit as well as for Amanda's. "Hey, no, it's okay, Liv, you're not ruinin' the mood right now. We're havin' a conversation about sex, and so it makes sense for you to check in. It's just while we're actually doin' it, the pausin' and asking takes me out of the moment, and then it's hard to get back in. But not even that is more important than you bein' confident you have a green light."

Olivia nodded, but Amanda wasn't convinced they were on the same page yet. "I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"Hey, c'mere." The blonde rolled them over so that Olivia's head was resting on her chest, and since Amanda had decided to reverse their usual roles and give Liv a pep talk, she also added the sergeant's quintessential touch of allowing her fingers to move languidly through her girlfriend's hair. "Listen to me. You make me feel so safe. You do that just because you're you. I don't want you to feel like you have to ask about every little thing, but baby, if you do feel like you have to, then I want you to do it. You have a right to feel safe too."

Olivia's head bobbed up and down against Amanda's chest. "You're good at that by the way."

Amanda hummed softly. "I'm a quick study."

They were both silent for a few moments, the blonde considering how to word an effective summation of what she had been trying to say. She knew the only way to get it through Liv's thick skull would be to repeat it with conviction. "You know, Liv, what I really don't want for you is for you to feel bad in any way about receivin'. I've lived in that space for my entire life, and I could testify on the stand, under oath, to it bein'…well, in short, not fun. It's not a good place to be, and I don't want you to be there. You've spent the past year tryin' to bail me out of 'I-Don't-Deserve-Pleasure-ville', and now that I'm free, I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you switch places with me. Okay? So, if there's anythin'-anything at all-I can say to you to absolve you of whatever guilt your feelin', please tell me."

A small smile graced Olivia's lips, and she looked up at Amanda with watery eyes. "I think that was it."

The blonde's fingers tangled even further into the mess that Olivia's hair had become, and Amanda pulled her body entirely on top of hers, their lips meeting in a delicate kiss. The younger woman held her girlfriend securely as their mouths moved together, a hand coming to rest on her lower back. Amanda felt one of Olivia's tears fall from her eye and land at the base of a nostril, the detective accidentally inhaling it. The sergeant pulled back as Amanda lightly chuckled. "Hot," Olivia commented sarcastically.

Their eyes met meaningfully after the laughter had died down, Amanda reaching up to wipe the remnants of a few tears tenderly. "You deserve to be taken care of too, y'know. You don't always have to be big, strong Sergeant Benson, not with me."

Olivia nodded, tucking a strand of Amanda's hair behind her ear. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," the blonde breathed, trailing her hand up Olivia's back so that both arms were wrapped around her neck. "What time are the boys coming?"

The older woman's eyes moved up and to the left as she recalled her last conversation with Fin and Carisi. "Around six I think."

"Well," Amanda purred, tickling the back of Olivia's neck, "if we're not done by then, we can just postpone."

The brunette attempted to laugh with ease, but couldn't conceal the shiver that went down her spine at Amanda's words. The detective was getting good at this. "Fin would have a field day."

Amanda gave a quick nod in mock solemnity. "He deserves it."

Olivia leaned down to press her forehead to her girlfriend's. "Yes, he does," she murmured, bumping her nose against Amanda's. "But we have plenty of time. It's only ten. Did you notice that you didn't ask me what time it was?" On the surface, it probably didn't matter much, but the sergeant couldn't help but come to the conclusion that for the first time in Amanda's life, it was worth it to live in the present. She didn't feel the need to harp on the past or to worry about the future because the here and now was pretty damn good.

The detective's eyes were lost in the older woman's, and it took her a minute to process the entirety of Olivia's statement, but when she spoke, the brunette's assumption was confirmed. "Who cares what time it is?"

Olivia noticed that Amanda's eyes had darkened some, and her pupils had begun to dilate. She could clearly see the desire in her girlfriend's expression. "Pee and food and then back to bed?"

"I like the way you think, Benson."

After a relatively rushed breakfast, the two women returned to bed. Eventually, Amanda pulled back from a heated kiss. "Do you wanna get married?" At the stunned expression on Olivia's face, the blonde chuckled. "I don't mean now, just…at some point."

The sergeant smiled, rolling them so she was on top of her girlfriend. "You're getting good at having important conversations."

Amanda attempted to regain the upper hand, but Olivia grasped both of the younger woman's hands, gently pinning them to the bed and effectively restraining her. The detective was pleasantly shocked at this course of action. "You're getting good at dodgin' questions," she observed slyly.

The brunette shook her head with a light laugh, and then leaned in to kiss a flushed earlobe, releasing one of Amanda's hands. "Of course I want to marry you, but there's something else I want to do first."

The rush of warmth Amanda felt between her legs offended her greatly. "Uh uh," she protested, just as much to herself as to Olivia. "We had a deal, Benson." Amanda stilled Olivia's wandering hand as it made its way down her waist.

The sergeant gave her girlfriend's hand a squeeze. "I'm renegotiating the terms of our agreement."

Amanda feigned horror, dramatically ripping Olivia's hand off her body. If the brunette had decided to play this game, the detective wasn't going to give up without a fight. "You can't do that!"

Olivia shook her head. "I can do anything I want!" she proclaimed indignantly, before amending slightly, "Kind of."

Both women erupted into a fit of giggles. They were laughing. They were teasing each other in a sexual context and laughing. This was exactly what Amanda had spent her whole life never allowing herself to want—a relationship that was as lighthearted as it was passionate.

In the course of their laughter, Olivia released both of Amanda's hands, so the blonde finally had leverage to roll them back over. "Liv," she said softly, noticing the look of disappointment on her girlfriend's face in response to the maneuver, "are you trying in your 'I'm Olivia Benson and I can't be vulnerable' sort of way to tell me that you would like to make love to me first?"

Amanda never liked the phrase "making love". Maybe it was because it was too mushy, maybe it was because it was never an accurate description of what sex looked or felt like for her, but regardless of the reason, she said it in this moment because it's what naturally flowed out of her, and she didn't want to question what felt right anymore.

Olivia nodded. "I'm sorry. I just know I'll be able to let go more if I'm not worried so much about you."

"You don't have to apologize," Amanda murmured, rolling off of Olivia and lying beside her. "You're allowed to have preferences. And I want to do whatever I can to help you feel comfortable too."

A small smile took up residence on Olivia's lips as she turned to further face her girlfriend. The past year of their relationship had been a whirlwind of a journey, and she had never felt more confident that things would work out. It hadn't necessarily been a storybook romance, and there certainly had been some bumps along the way, but my, how beautiful the rainbow they had created together was. "Thank you, love."

Amanda hummed, pulling Olivia's face to hers. "You're very welcome. Now kiss me."

The sergeant obliged, reaching to untie the robe the blonde had put on earlier when they had left the bedroom for breakfast. Recognizing the gesture as a good idea, Amanda did the same with Olivia's robe, and in only a few seconds, both garments were discarded on the carpet beside the bed.

Only a few months ago, the idea of Olivia's weight heavy against her body would have sent the younger woman spiraling. But this morning, it was grounding, and Amanda welcomed the change when the brunette pulled her lips from her girlfriend's in favor of pressing them against the warm flesh sitting atop her chest. Amanda enjoyed this version of Olivia—the one that had a desire and simply acted in response to it. It was spontaneous and sexy, but still it felt unbelievably safe as the sergeant kept an eye on Amanda's face the entire time, watching for any sign of discomfort.

Olivia's lips moved slowly down Amanda's torso, landing eventually on her right hip bone as the older woman settled between her legs, looking as if she intended to stay there a while. The brunette nipped lightly at the skin below her, feeling the blonde's fingers wind delicately into her hair. Olivia had been attempting to travel this path for days, and Amanda could tell what the brunette was hesitating to initiate.

"Liv," Amanda sighed, brushing some hair out of Olivia's face and searching soulful brown eyes, "I know what you want to do, and it's okay. I trust you."

Olivia rested her hands on either thigh in front of her, using it as leverage to lift herself up to better converse with Amanda. "The thing that I'm worried about is that this is the most intimate and physically vulnerable thing we've done, and I won't be able to talk to you the whole time."

Amanda involuntarily smiled. "That's okay. I wanna try new things. I know I'm safe."

Olivia nodded, inhaling deeply as she watched Amanda spread her legs apart farther in something of an offering. If she thought too much about the power of the trust the detective was placing in her, Olivia knew her breath would catch painfully in her chest. God, Amanda was beautiful, and the grin playing on her lips made the older woman's heart melt.

"What are you smiling at?" Olivia asked softly, letting her fingers caress Amanda's bent knee.

"You're just cute," the blonde explained with a slight shrug, "and I can feel you thinkin'."

The older woman's hands traveled down Amanda's inner thighs, both wrapping around and coming to rest lightly on a pair of hips. "I'm just taking it all in," she breathed, "and to be honest, I'm also sort of coming up with a plan."

The corners of Amanda's lips perked upwards, but her brow furrowed. "You have done this before, right?"

Liv playfully shoved one of the thighs that rested next to her face. "Of course I have!" the brunette avowed. "I'm just a little nervous," she eventually admitted.

God, Olivia was cute. Amanda had to force herself to wipe the smile off of her face. "How can I help?"

Olivia thought for a moment. Why was Amanda offering to help her? It didn't quite make sense on the surface, but it occurred to the brunette that she was the only one scared in this situation. Amanda, though definitely turned on, otherwise seemed cool as a cucumber. She took a cleansing breath. "So, I love that you want to do this," Olivia started, "and I definitely do too."

The tone in the sergeant's voice concerned Amanda. "So, what's the problem, Liv? I want it, you want it, the light's real green."

Olivia chuckled, pressing her lips once more to Amanda's hip. "It's not a problem, per se," she prefaced, "but it occurred to me that because you're so sensitive, if we go too fast…Mm. If you're still sensitive from last night—sweetheart, I just don't want to hurt you."

"You're not gonna hurt me, baby."

Amanda was so sure. Olivia wished she had that kind of confidence in herself. "Well, I'm not going to hurt you on purpose. That goes without saying." How to transition to her next thought? "You move a lot, which is totally okay, but if you buck too hard into my mouth, I might not be able to pull away fast enough, and if your body isn't ready, it probably won't feel good."

"Kind of like when I hurt myself the first time I tried," Amanda concluded, Olivia nodding in agreement. "Okay, well how about you just hold me down in the beginnin' so I don't do that?"

The sergeant spoke slowly in response, not entirely sure if Amanda knew what she was asking of her. "You want me to hold you down?"

The blonde put her own hands over her girlfriend's. "Just to stop some of those involuntary movements," she rationalized. "Liv, I don't think you'll hurt me. You have been so gentle, much more gentle than I ever was with myself. But I don't want you to be worried the whole time. This is a solution."

Olivia couldn't stop her eyes from watering. "You trust me that much?"

Amanda's answer was immediate and clear. "Of course I do. I trust your judgement and I trust your love. I trust your tenderness and I trust your respect. I trust you with my life, Olivia. And I trust you with this."

The younger woman felt the pressure from Olivia's hands increase incrementally over the course of several seconds. It really just felt like a gentle squeeze. It was safe and Amanda knew it. "If you need me to let go—"

The sergeant didn't need to finish. "I will tell you. I trust you. Please trust me."

Olivia nodded. "I do." Another shaky inhale as the brunette leaned in closer to her girlfriend's body. "I'm guessing no one's ever…?"

Amanda shook her head. "Never even close. Have no idea what to expect."

The words added to Olivia's nerves for a moment, but what she eventually heard in them wasn't fear, it was excitement. The older woman nodded slowly. "Okay, so I'm basically just going to start out kissing you, and we'll move slowly. Does that sound okay?"

Amanda once again tangled her fingers into Olivia's hair. "Sounds more than okay."

"You're feeling a little tense, love. Do you think you can relax for me?" Olivia asked with a light squeeze to both of Amanda's hips, noticing she had yet to lay her head back on the pillow.

"Yeah, sorry." The blonde exhaled audibly.

"You don't have to be sorry, sweetheart," Olivia murmured into coarse public hair, taking a moment to press a kiss into the skin she found. "Just wanted to remind you."

It was odd how a touch that was so sexual by nature could simultaneously be so incredibly soothing, but as Olivia continued her gentle ministrations, soothed is exactly how Amanda felt. The detective knew her girlfriend was being impossibly careful, but as she relaxed into the touch, Olivia's hold on her became less about holding her down and more about holding her close. Amanda didn't think she could get closer to Olivia if she tried, but she still did try, pulling the sergeant's face as tightly against her as she could manage. This somehow felt better than the brunette's fingers against her. Liv had been right—this was more intimate and more vulnerable—but that truth only added to the intensity of the sensations she was feeling.

"Fuck, Liv." They were the first words she had uttered in several minutes, which was mostly because she hadn't been able to put together a rational thought before. She didn't need to. Olivia was learning her body incredibly quickly, and all the blonde really needed to do at this point was urge her on.

The brunette couldn't help the small smirk at the sight and sound of Amanda letting go. She knew it wasn't always an easy task for her, and Olivia felt honored to be even a small part of it. She reached up one of her hands and gently rested it over a pert nipple, Amanda intertwining their fingers together, squeezing in response to a rather firm stroke of Olivia's tongue.

"I love you," she panted, feeling a now semi-familiar knot begin to form in her belly. Olivia simply squeezed her hip three times in a row, not wanting to break the consistency of the contact in order to return the sentiment. Amanda knew what she was saying, and the intimacy of it was only a fleeting thought as she determined she was close and reminded herself to focus on what she was feeling. "Feels so good," she muttered out loud, mostly to herself, but she wasn't ashamed to let Olivia hear it. The brunette squeezed Amanda's hand tightly in hers, wanting to ground her to the present moment and to remind her that she was safe to let go.

And let go she did, the hand wrapped around Olivia's head pulling her impossibly closer. The older woman felt Amanda's chest heave under their joined hands and after several more seconds, she ceased the movement of her tongue, opting instead to place featherlight kisses over every inch of skin she could reach. She gave Amanda some time to recover, waiting until her breath had returned to near normal speed before kissing her clit softly once more, noticing one last twitch under her lips and hearing a gentle whine above her.

The detective reached aimlessly for her girlfriend, her eyes still tightly shut. Liv got the message rather quickly and moved up Amanda's body, lightly kissing her lips. "Hey," the younger woman whispered weakly, wrapping an arm around Olivia's shoulders. "Don't go anywhere," she commanded.

Olivia chuckled, nuzzling her nose into Amanda's neck. "I'm staying right here, my love," she promised.

"Mm." Amanda stretched her legs eventually, moving to free herself from under Olivia. "Tell me what you like," she softly invited, reaching for the bottle of water on her nightstand. The brunette had brought two bottles into their bedroom after breakfast. You never know when you're going to have a hydration emergency.

"Well," Olivia sighed, "I've told you before that I'm a direct kind of girl—" Amanda laughed at the verbiage, lying back against her pillows and deciding to allow her limbs to be heavy and warm for a little while longer—"but I'm not too picky otherwise."

The blonde watched Olivia pull down her own underwear, becoming distracted for a moment. "I know you're tryin' to make this easy for me," she said after pulling herself together, inviting her girlfriend to straddle her, Olivia deciding to hover slightly above Amanda's hips, "but I think specific instructions will help more."

Olivia nodded, a wicked smirk taking over her face. "Okay," she smiled, "give me your hand and make a V with your fingers."

Amanda lifted her hand in front of her own face and examined it quizzically as she moved her fingers apart in the way she guessed Olivia had meant. "Yeah, like that," the older woman laughed, carefully grasping her wrist and moving it towards her body. "Are you okay with me doing this?" Liv checked. She had been waiting for this moment longer than Amanda had, but she was willing to wait forever if her girlfriend wasn't ready.

"Mhm," Amanda confirmed. She was slightly nervous about this because she knew that she had no idea what she was doing, but Olivia had always been a good guide, and the worst thing that could happen is they would need to try again another time.

"So, just try to relax your hand," Olivia encouraged softly, placing her own fingers over Amanda's, "and I'm going to guide you. Let me know when you get a feel for the movement."

It was smart of Olivia to direct the younger woman through feel rather than through verbal instruction. It made this process less awkward and unbelievably more sexy. The two women's eyes met as Olivia pulled their joined hands in between her legs, and the blonde's eyes softly closed as she felt her fingers become engulfed in warmth. It didn't feel like this when she touched herself. She could have kept her hand against Olivia forever. This was like a warm hug.

Amanda forced her eyes open when she felt the inside of each of her fingers touch what she assumed was Olivia's clit. She desperately wanted to see the brunette's face, and the sight she was met with was worth the struggle to open her eyes. Olivia had slid her lower lip between her teeth, and her head was thrown back in relief, exposing the muscles of her neck. The detective sat up and wrapped her free arm around Olivia's waist, bringing her lips to her girlfriend's throat and feeling her swallow hard.

The older woman slid their joined hands further back until her clit was tucked snugly between the base of Amanda's fingers. "Back and forth," she whispered, ever so slowly moving their hands back to the starting position.

"Slowly?" Amanda asked, observing the snail-paced movement her girlfriend was guiding her through and noting that if Olivia did that to her, it would drive her crazy. Different strokes for different folks, she found herself thinking.

Olivia nodded, resting her forehead against Amanda's. "As slow as you can," she clarified.

"Okay, let me try," the blonde insisted, wanting so badly to make Olivia feel as good and as taken care of as she had made her feel. The older woman released her hand, reaching an arm around to hold her close. "Like this?" she asked after a few moments. "Does this feel good?"

Olivia practically groaned. "So good."

What an ego boost! "Better than Mindy?" Amanda teased.

The sergeant's eyes snapped open just long enough for her to roll them. "Shut up."

Amanda stopped the movement of her hand, a beaming smile playing on her lips. "Is that a yes?"

"Amanda." Her speech was halting. "Please."

The blonde pressed her lips to Olivia's temple before resuming the movement of her fingers. Amanda reveled in the sweat accumulating on her girlfriend's brow, in the way she could hear her heart race, in the blush forming on her breasts, and in the way she could practically feel Olivia vibrating all around her. It was intoxicating, and it was obvious that the older woman was enjoying herself too, which is why Amanda was confused when Olivia stilled her hand. "Wha—did I do something?"

The brunette shook her head. "No. You feel amazing," she heaved. "I just want to be sure….We can stop if you want."

"Look at me, Liv," Amanda directed lowly, waiting for the sergeant's eyes to clear enough to connect with hers. "Thank you for checking in. But I haven't had this much fun—ever. Don't worry about me. I want you to let go."

Olivia's head bobbed against Amanda's forehead, and after a moment she released her hold on her girlfriend's wrist. "You good?" the blonde asked, resituating herself and getting ready to continue.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good." It occurred to Olivia that this wasn't the end of their journey over the rainbow. Having a healthy sexual relationship would be a practice (like the best yoga ever!), something they needed to work at often so that they could establish and maintain a system for how things would work between them, so that they could both give and get the most out of every time they connected. It would take time to achieve maximum fulfillment here, and it would take a lifetime to keep it that way.

But that was part of the fun.

"How do I know when you release?" Amanda asked after a minute or so of slow movements.

"You'll feel it," Olivia assured breathlessly, "and trust me, I'll tell you."

Amanda did feel it, and Olivia did tell her. The detective didn't expect her girlfriend to be so loud, but she wasn't disappointed in the sound, only a little surprised. She gleefully experienced the sensations of the older woman's muscles contracting and her whole body tensing. After the brunette came down from her high, Amanda asked, "Good?"

Olivia smiled against Amanda's shoulder. "Good," she confirmed.

The two women laid down amongst the wrinkled sheets, sweat sticking them together. "So, uh," Amanda thought aloud, "we had sex."

Olivia giggled, pulling the woman who she considered her future wife slightly on top of her, resting her fingers in her hair. "Yeah, we did," she affirmed proudly. "What do you think?"

Amanda's thoughtful blue eyes met Olivia's chocolate orbs. "It's pretty great, I have to say. I've definitely never enjoyed givin' this much, and I've never received before, period, so…I'm impressed."

The SVU sergeant smiled, but it carried a twinge of sadness. She was happy to take care of Amanda in this way, to teach her and to love her in every moment, but she still wished things had been different for her. The blonde could sense the melancholy in the air. "I don't want you to be sad, baby. I'm not sad anymore. I don't want to waste any more energy on Patton or on anyone else I used to date. I just want to be here in this moment with you."

Olivia nodded, gathering Amanda's hair in her hand and pushing it over her shoulder. "What do you say we use this moment to take a shower?"

Amanda smirked, standing up from the bed without covering herself with her robe. "I'll race ya."

Later that evening, the women waited with Carisi and Fin for Barba to arrive. Outside of court, he was often fashionably late. When the doorbell rang, Amanda raced to greet the ADA, leaving the male detectives in the living room. "Hey! Thank you for coming!"

Rafael wrapped Amanda in a one-armed hug. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Happy anniversary, Rollins!" Olivia approached the door then, also greeting Barba with a hug. "Thank you for having me, Liv. I brought flowers." He revealed a dozen roses, which Olivia took from him gratefully.

"Thank you, Rafael. Please come in." The brunette wrapped her free arm around her girlfriend's waist. "Fin said the trial ended as well as it could have."

"Did he tell you the jury came back almost immediately?" Olivia nodded. "Amanda ended up being my star witness."

The older woman looked proudly at Amanda, and she shrugged, answering them both. "I'm just glad I was able to testify as an outcry witness."

Barba continued, "And that Ali testified before the grand jury before she killed herself. The combination of both testimonies completely discredited the defense."

When Amanda didn't respond, Olivia gently nudged her. "You okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," she smiled softly. "All of this…it's just a reminder that not all of us survive, and I think that's important to recognize."

It was hard for Olivia to imagine a world in which Amanda Rollins didn't exist. She pressed her lips to the blonde's temple, letting them linger for an extended moment as the detective's pulse thumped beneath them. Afterwards she sighed, letting her hand move slowly up and down Amanda's back. "How about I put these in some water, and then we go join the boys inside? I think they're already drunk."

Barba chuckled. "Oh boy."

After some lighthearted banter between the SVU team, Barba piped up. "Hey, we should play 'Never Have I Ever.'"

Fin and Carisi both looked skeptical, but Olivia just turned to Amanda. "You okay with that?"

She hesitated for a moment, before moving to sit entirely on Olivia's lap, a gesture of PDA she never would have considered before. But hey, they were in their own house. "I've never been more excited to play this game."

Like always, it came down to Amanda and Carisi. The junior detective on the squad clearly wanted to win, but he wasn't sure if he should risk his signature move again. He eyed Olivia and then Amanda, and both women just chuckled, the blonde deciding to give him permission. "Say it, Carisi. It's okay."

"Alright, but remember you told me I could," he disclaimed. "Never have I ever slept with someone of the same sex."

Amanda smirked, linking the fingers of the hand that was no longer in play with Olivia's. "By the way, Fin, nine is a little excessive." She then dropped the last of her fingers like it was the proudest thing she had ever done.

And it was.

A/N: Alright, now that we're all done crying (or at least I am), I just want to say a couple of things.

First! Thank you all so much for coming on this journey with Amanda and Olivia and putting up with my inconsistent updates. I wrote Something Good because I feel like stories like these are missing on fanfiction, A03, etc. (And from the original source material as well.) I've always wanted to tell real human stories in my writing, and I never, ever want to shy away from difficult subject matter—these are the stories that most desperately need to be told. I need to thank you all again for making this story (and me) feel so welcome in the last few weeks.

Second! I will not be continuing this story, but I am open to writing one-shots that take place in this universe, SO if there is anything in particular you all would like to see, please feel free to PM me, leave a review, or reach out on Instagram or twitter (faceinbud).

And third! I'm sure you all are wondering what the surprise that I mentioned in the last chapter is. Well, your wait is over (Haha, I'm being way to dramatic in this note). I will be writing another Rolivia fanfiction! It will not exist within the Something Good universe, but if you all want more Something Good, then you're welcome to request a one-shot, friends! This particular story will be called "In the First Degree", and it will follow Amanda through the immediate aftermath of an abduction and rape and the trial to follow. It may be a few weeks before I can post that, but I will post the link as Chapter 11 of this story so you all can find it.

Again, this story has been so rewarding to write, so thank you, thank you, thank you!

-Gabby