Chapter 16: Fight

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Let's do this! I also want to remind everyone that I tend to stick with the manga description when it comes to Levi.

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There was nothing. It was like slipping away into oblivion, becoming non-existent. And yet, there was also a hint of consciousness that would very much juxtapose such an idea, even if it was disoriented and fuzzy. What to call a place like that? What to call being drowned in nothingness and yet being aware of it? Unfortunately, Kagome couldn't form a single coherent thought to even begin answering those questions. Her mind was buzzing with hums and other non-words, strings of syllables that didn't quite go together. And the vision of silver.

Silver. Where was that coming from?

As it became more visible, this gray, turning into smokey ash, caught the woman's attention long enough for her to grasp a bit at her own sentience. It was familiar, like the color itself was a symbol for something. She focused. Hard. Harder.

What was this?

"Oi! Wake up will ya?" As she processed the voice, she noticed the gray fade into black. She searched for it, traversing any paths she could pick up in her head, but it seemed to be gone for now, like a candle that was blown out.

"C'mon, wench. We ain't got all day!" The voice came again, rough and childlike at the same time. It was as if on cue that she opened her eyes. In fact, it hadn't even felt like her doing. They just seemed to snap open, responding to the voice before she could even do it herself. And she was left with the blur of her environment surrounding her. Dashes of red and gold caught her attention, like glistening stars caught among a bed of roses. Then, there was silver. She found herself fixated on it for a moment, wondering if that was what she had been looking for.

But it wasn't the same shade.

"W-What?" She questioned as the image began to clear.

"Finally. Everyone's waiting for us."

She blinked as her vision restored itself, fully, "...Inuyasha?"

"Who the hell else would it be? Don't tell me you were having some nightmare, again." Inuyasha was crouched over her form, clad in his staple red robes. He crossed his arms over his chest as his dog ears twitched atop his head. "You know, Kagome, there ain't anything to be scared of here. Dunno why ya keep worrying."

"Nightmares? Worrying?" Placing her palms on the ground besides her, she pushed herself up into a sitting position. It had just occurred to her that she had absolutely no solid memory of getting here. In fact, whenever she tried to remember anything, she was met with a cloudy uncertainty. The Shikon Jewel had been dealt with, that much the woman remembered. And after that, Inuyasha had left her in the modern era with her family to finish high-school. But that was it, like past was a trail of footsteps that just stop there.

'So, I made it back to the Feudal Era? But how? And why can't I recall anything?' Kagome rubbed the side of her head, hoping to soothe her memories back to her.

"Keh, yeah. You've been having all of those stupid nightmares about some giant, man-eating demons or whatever." He stood up and extended his hand to help her, "As if any dumb demon could handle me, anyways. I'll kill em all up with Tessaiga. So, quit stressin'. You don't have to fight, anymore."

'I... don't have to fight?'

She looked at him for a moment, the way he stared down at her with those same, deep orbs she remembered, then down at those clawed hands that had sliced through their enemies to save her countless times. Reaching for him, she grabbed it and let him pull her up until she was balanced on her feet, feet that were covered with brown flats. In fact, when taking a quick glance, it didn't take long for her realize that she was in her old school uniform, skirt and all.

"Well? C'mon, then." The hanyou huffed, "You look like you could use some food."

"Yeah... sounds good." But there was something inside of her that felt off, something that she couldn't seem to ignore.

Days passed, all them blurring together in a daze. At first, it had been exhilarating, just hanging out with everyone she had missed so dearly. She had even gotten to play with Sango and Miroku's children, including an infant Sango had birthed not too long ago. But soon after, Kagome had fallen into a quiet routine that consisted of being woken up by Inuyasha, helping Kaede, and then settling down with her old friends in the evening until it was time to sleep again. And even though it was exactly how she had always imagined her life to be if she ever got to return, she just couldn't seem to adjust as if something crucial was missing. She had toyed with the idea that it was just her lack of memory that had been bothering her, but even after inquiring about her return, she didn't seem to feel any better.

'Inuyasha said that it was about a month ago that I returned, that the well just re-opened for me.' She huffed inwardly as she continued to pick various herbs, 'But I still just feel so... weird about this whole thing. Argh, why can't I just accept it? This is what I've wanted, isn't it? Ever since the well closed and left me in the Modern Era, I dreamed about coming back. And, well, I'm here, aren't I?'

"Kagome, ye seem distracted." Kaede remarked, "Is something the matter? Don't tell me that Inuyasha has done something to upset ye."

"Oh, no. Not at all. Inuyasha has been nothing but pleasant." Kagome waved her off with a smile. She wasn't lying, either. The half-demon hadn't done a single thing wrong since she returned. He was attentive, caring and in a constant good mood, like his world was just an abundance of jubilee that he wanted to share with her. To complain about such a thing just sounded ridiculous. Whenever he was around, all of his attention was poured into making sure she was comfortable and happy.

Which only served to confuse her further. With everything going so perfectly, why did she feel so out of place?

"Well, whatever is plaguing ye, ye are sure to beat it so long as you fight." The older woman asserted, as she bent over carefully to place more herbs in her basket. Then, as she was still bent at the waist, she lifted her head, her stare intense and filled with some unknown energy "Remember, if ye don't fight, ye can't win. And to win is to live." After the words were spoken, she simply continued her task.

Kagome blinked momentarily, caught off guard by her words as they sent an odd sensation throughout her whole body. It felt so familiar, and yet, she couldn't pin point where she had heard it before. But what she did know was that she only felt more uneasy with the current situation after hearing it, more disconnected as if she was a ghost here, her true life residing somewhere else.

"If ye are finished, we should give some of these herbs for Sango to help her recover faster from her latest birthing." Kaede motioned for her to follow and the younger woman obliged wordlessly. And the two made their way to Sango and Miroku's hut. It was a simple home, but they seemed more than satisfied to share it between themselves and their children. As they entered, Sango was sitting with her back against the wall, breastfeeding her newest child, a young boy.

The former demon-slayer welcomed them eagerly, giving her thanks for their hard work in the field. Inuyasha and Miroku arrived shortly after, as well, having just returned from a demon extermination, and Shippo scurried in just minutes after. And, just as it was in the days prior, they were all together, with nothing else to do but to spend the evening talking.

Everyone was always so relaxed, telling jokes and stories. And they were always so smiley, as if all they could feel was a constant high from some drug Kagome hadn't gotten a hold of, yet. But she began to realize that the high they were all riding was life itself, breathing it in and exhaling out any negativity. In and out. In and out. She knew she used to live in that same space with them, riding that same feeling like it was a shooting star dashing across the universe. But it was in these days that she wondered when she fell off.

Days. Days of calm uncertainty. Days of lonely pondering, placing "missing" signs with her face on it all alongside the walls of her mind. Scaling the walls to get a better view. Sitting atop and looking outwards to what was beyond but never being able to get to it.

She didn't know when she began to feel so caged in. But the routine was really taking it's toll.

"And the demon was in the vase the whole time." Miroku finished detailing today's extermination by the time the woman noticed that she had stopped listening. But that seemed to be the norm. She was always spacing out, never realizing it until she had already missed something. A story, a joke, a question.

"Yeah, and ya made sure to squeeze out ever last possible dime from 'em." The hanyou retorted, earning a nervous laugh from the monk who brushed off the accusation with his usual charm. Not that anyone bought it, anymore. They all shook their head and rolled their eyes before busting into fits of laughter.

"Hey, would you all excuse me for a few? I think I need some fresh air." She announced suddenly, startling the group out of their dialogue. "I'm just gonna take a quick walk." She stood up, stretching her lips into some sweet smile.

"I could go with ya, Kagome. If ya want." The half-demon suggested, readying himself to stand beside her, palms pressed onto the floor. But she waved him off with her hand, pulling out a soft chuckle. Trying to seem as typical as she could. Normal Kagome Higurashi.

"Don't worry about me. You all just stay here and continue talking. I'll be back soon." She cooed while she made her way to the exit, waving them off once more before she stepped outside. She didn't know what she was looking for, though. Perhaps it was that high she hoped to find wandering the dirt path that decorated this little village. Or maybe it was something deeper than that. Maybe she was latching onto some poetic idea that she would magically find the cure for her disassociation while taking a little stroll as the sun set. Would that not be fitting to her life? It was always in her moments of self-reflection that she could find the answers to problems.

Though, even as she dragged her feet around, she couldn't seem to understand it. It was not as though she did not hold a fondness for her friends. In fact, the single thing that has made this time bearable has been the fact that they were all living the carefree lives they deserved to. And she wanted to feel just the same with them. By their sides, just as she had at first. But she just didn't.

Her seemingly aimless walking had actually taken her to the entrance of the Forest of Inuyasha, as if it had called to her like an attracting magnet. She looked up at the trees that loomed over her, just as they had when she was younger. For some reason, she had always thought that the trees of this forest always seemed much taller than any others.

'I've seen taller...' She murmured inwardly before catching herself. 'That's so odd. But I can distinctly recall looking up at trees that are at least triple the size of these... But where was that? Am I going crazy?'

She brushed it off and continued her stroll, wandering deep inside the forest without giving anything else much thought. Silence. That's all she wanted for now. Maybe if she could just collect herself, find out where the disconnect was coming from and fix it, she'd be able to just be happy. Everyone was waiting for her, after all. They would definitely be disappointed if she didn't return.

Of course, that was a silly thought in and of itself. Where would she go if she didn't return to them? This was her home, now.

"I should go see the Bone Eater's Well." The woman whispered quietly to herself, passing the Goshinboku without even noticing it. The clearing where the well rested was so close, she eagerly sped up her footsteps. Close. Closer. Almost in the line of sight. She didn't even have much of a reason for why she wanted to see it, feel it. All she knew was that she needed to go there.

It was then, as she was approaching, that the whipping sound of wires echoed around, bouncing off of the trees.

"Huh?" She frantically looked around, "What was that?"

In a deeper part of the forest, she could see flashes of green, different than the leaves. Like somethings were flying about. Demons, perhaps? That would be the rational answer while in the Feudal Era. What else could be soaring around? But still, it was odd. Most demons didn't really try to invade the Forest of Inuyasha, especially when the half-demon himself was so close and so territorial.

"Maybe I should just ignore it." Kagome decided, continuing on the path until she reached the well in all its glory. She reached her hand out and ran her fingers across the edge, feeling the hard, wooden surface on her skin. Always a mystery. It held an almost omniscient aura around it, like it knew something no one else did, but wouldn't dare divulge any of its secrets. It was funny that way; it just looked like an ordinary, old well. She retracted her hand, pulling back as she pursed her lips together and inhaled deeply through her nostrils. It felt as if she was waiting for the well to tell her something, reveal an answer to some question she didn't even know how to begin asking.

"What's wrong with me...?" The question was spilling out automatically. Like a filled glass tilting slightly to the side, droplets falling to the ground. Nothing was making sense, nothing at all. Or maybe it was her that didn't make sense. Maybe she just wasn't fitting right, because the thought of returning to Sango's hut right now felt so wrong. And yet, all of her old friends seemed just fine. Normal. Happy. Was it her?

'You don't have to fight, anymore.' Inuyasha's words rang in her mind, a hopefulness existing in such a sentiment. And yet, it felt like an empty promise. A lie. As though not fighting would mean abandoning humanity. Gods, she felt uneasy with that.

Sometime in between the echo of his voice, the woman had sat on the edge of the well, swinging her legs over so they dangled inside. Contemplative as she stared down into the blackness, she hadn't noticed the light footsteps that crept up behind her. No, instead she was searching for something deep within the Bone Eater's well thinking that maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with what was happening to her right now.

"Kagome... are you trying to leave?" Inuyasha broke her silence as his voice trembled at just an octave higher than usual.

She whipped her head around to meet his amber gaze, orbs glazed over with disappointment at her current position. She couldn't really blame him, either. Sitting the way she was, it must have looked like she was hoping to jump in and disappear through the vortex of time. But if she was being honest, she couldn't say that she had planned on that. And that was the irritating part of all of this, because she hadn't really planned on anything. To plan something, some sort of action, would mean that she would need some sort of goal in mind. To try jumping down the well would imply that she had a place she wanted to go to, but she didn't. She didn't know where she was trying to go or what she was trying to do.

"Inuyasha, I thought you were going to stay with the others?" She murmured in response, suddenly feeling guilty as the sadness continued to contort his features.

"Keh, I had to make sure you were okay, didn't I?" He retorted, taking a deep puff of air, "What if a Titan appeared?"

"I don't need you to-" She stopped herself as she processed his words, "A... Titan?"

He didn't seem phased by her confusion, though. Instead, his brows seemed to furrow together is frustration as he let out a heavy exhale, "I told ya that ya wouldn't have to fight anymore, didn't I? So, why are you out here all by yourself, acting surprised that I would watch over you?" His fists balled at his sides, "And why here, at the well of all damn places? Aren't you happy, Kagome? Aren't I making you happy? ...I thought this was what you wanted." In his tone he carried a perfect mix of anger, confusion and shame. And the guilt tugged at her once more because she never wanted to have him feel inadequate or unloved, especially by her.

"Of course you make me happy, Inuyasha." She whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Then, what's going on? Keh, won't ya just let me protect you here? No more fighting." The wind seemed to pick up as he talked, leaves on the trees rustling, some torn from their branches and floating away. Her eyes caught one, dancing in the air, doing circles and zig-zags before it disappeared somewhere far away. It was then that she realized that she hadn't moved from her position, legs still danging in the well like she was suspended by her own uncertainty. And she was wrapped up in self-reproach for being so uncertain, as though she was failing an obligation to him.

But would she be led by that guilt?

"Inuyasha... I can't have you fight my battles, anymore." Kagome looked down in the well once more, watching as the darkness was slowly replaced with a blue sky, "I'm a soldier, now. I can't ignore that part of me." She didn't quite know what she was talking about, but it was the only thing that had felt so natural for her since she had woken up.

"...Are you sure that's what you want, Kagome?" He asked, but his voice had softened. "Are you sure you're making the right decision?"

"The only thing we're allowed to do is believe that we won't regret the choices we make." She wasn't quite sure where that came from, but hearing it somehow made her feel better. It made her feel assured for the first time. Whatever she was missing, she now knew with all of her heart that she could only find it somewhere else. And she would chase that place so long as the well would let her.

And, without looking back, she leaned her body forward and fell in.

As soon as Levi heard Eren's roars, he sped towards the sound, suddenly realizing why Erwin wanted him to replenish his gas before going off. Something was wrong, and he was certain it had to do with that Female Titan. And as much as he hated to admit it, he was inclined to believe that she had somehow managed to escape without getting eaten. A fact that reminded him of just how ignorant the Scout Regiment was to this kind of enemy.

"What a damn nuisance." He grunted as his body soared. But he supposed that, while he making his way, his team should be making sure Eren doesn't get demolished at least until he arrived onto the scene. That is what he trained them to do, after all. With Titan Eren and the Special Operations Squad on her ass, he couldn't imagine that this would be another easy win for her.

Though, that thought vanished as he continued on.

It was Gunther that he saw first, hanging by the wires of his gear in the middle of the forest. Eyes bulging out while blood dripped down below. Levi only allowed himself a moment before he forced himself on. But, Eld caught his eyes next. Well, what was left of him did. The blonde's upper half was still tossed lazily on the ground. And only a few feet away from Oluo's crushed body, guts sprawled out on the grass. But his face was still intact at least, even after clearly getting stomped on. It was bittersweet to see it because Levi figured a corpse with a face would be better than one without, but having a face meant seeing the lasting look of horror on it that detailed the misery before the end. And Oluo's was painted perfectly.

Petra came next, something the captain anticipated at this point. She was on her stomach. Red spilled from her head and other injuries on her body. Superficial cuts and deep gashes. He paused for a moment, thinking of all the broken bones her skin hid from him. Thinking of all the pain they all must have felt. But he was quickly focused on the way the ginger's hand extended outwards, as if she had been reaching for something before giving out her last breath. And he followed it, followed where it led until he let out a heavy exhale.

For it was Kagome he spotted last.

Like Petra, Kagome's body was sprawled out on its stomach. But it wasn't absolutely gushing out the contents of her insides, not that he planned on spending much time figuring out how exactly the Female Titan ended her. No, that was a pointless endeavor and it wouldn't change anything. He couldn't change anything.

Though, that didn't seem to stop him as he mindlessly floated over to her, looking down at her still form. In truth, he had thought for sure someone as stubborn as her would survive for a bit. At least one expedition. But it seemed to him that he was just going to be left trying to find ways to make sure her death wasn't in vain. And it seemed that he was just going to have to try and master her tea-making by himself. No more companionable silence in his office. Just silence.

It was when he decided he should move on that he heard a quiet hum, and it was followed by a slightly louder groan.

And then, Kagome Higurashi moved. Sure, it wasn't anything huge, just the tiniest little spasm of her index finger. But he caught it and immediately dropped down and crouched besides her. He flipped her over onto her back, though her body still seemed limp and not reactive to the movement. But when he placed two of his fingers on the side of her neck and felt the light pulse, he knew what it meant. By some strange miracle, this woman was still alive. And, as if on cue, her eyelids twitched just to confirm it.

"Tch, so you are just as stubborn as I thought." He mused as he took no time in scooping her unconscious form into his arms, leaning her head into the crook of his neck so it wasn't dangling unsupported. Sure, it was a pain to use the ODM gear like this, but he didn't care. Levi wasn't one to leave a comrade behind.

He was back in the air within a second, expelling more and more gas to speed through the trees while making sure she wasn't hit by any branches. His eyes were peeled for any remaining scouts that were around, and as soon as one came into view, he called out with a demanding boom in his voice that no one could ignore.

"Captain Levi!" The scout made no issue of approaching the short man, "Whaddaya need, sir?"

"Take this scout with you and retreat with the rest of the formation." Levi ordered, a seriousness laced in his tone that indicated that he was not to be questioned, "She's an elite member of my squad. I want her taken care of, immediately. Can you do that, kid?"

The scout nodded quickly before extending his arms to take Kagome, looking at her with a certain curiosity before muttering, "She's the one from Trost, isn't she? The one who killed over ten Titans..."

But the captain didn't feel the need to confirm that. Once he saw that she was secured in the other man's arms, he turned around.

"Don't even think about dropping her."

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For anyone who didn't get the italics, Kagome was experiencing a dream sequence after being knocked unconscious by the Female Titan, which is why Kaede (loosely) quotes Eren and why Inuyasha mentions Titans.

I do want to point out that Kagome's decision to jump down the well again isn't supposed to symbolize some romantic love for Levi. This is a slow-burn. I never liked the idea that someone would trade in a life full of friends and memories for one other person that they weren't even with, yet. Kagome's decision is really meant to reflect her desire to fight for humanity, just to show that she feels connected to the AOT world.

But, that doesn't mean it had nothing to do with Levi. Remember the gray she sees before Inuyasha wakes her? That's meant to be Levi's eyes. Notice how her eyelids twitch right before he picks her up in real-time. That's her seeing him briefly and latching onto the color, even contrasting it to Inuyasha's own silver hair.
And of course, her rendition of his no regrets quote is always a plus.

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Also, sorry about killing Petra. But it had to be done. Though, I hope y'all liked our Captain getting lowkey sad about Kagome, then getting lowkey protective when he passed her on to that scout. Lord, that scout would be doomed if he let our girl fall.

And don't worry. I promise fluff is on the way.

Though, it'll probably come faster if you review ;)
Reviews are basically like money for us unpaid authors