Title: Greener on the Other Side

Rating: MA

Disclaimer: I own nothing; the characters all belong to Kurt Sutter and FX.

Summary: Sequel to Half Empty, Half Full (please read for the complete story). She had loved and she had lost, but through it all she had never stopped fighting for the happy ending. She wasn't about to start now. *Picks up after the ending of SOA*

Chapter 1: 5 and a Half Years Later…

5 and half years. 66 months. 287 weeks. 2,007 days, and a half. 48, 180 hours. That's how long I was gone. How long I stared at those same 4 walls. How long I was alone. All the bribes, the connections, the death threats- none of those were good enough to lessen the hole I was in. Locked up for the majority of my day, restricted access to others. I was officially labeled a gang member. A murderer.

And so I did my time. Alone.

Was it selfishness? Was that why? I left his name off the visitor list on purpose. I couldn't force myself to write those 6 letters- ANDREW. He was my son and I couldn't face him behind a glass wall. I couldn't bear the thought of reaching out and not being able to touch him. And so when I called one day, and he wouldn't come to the phone, I stopped calling. I just let it eat me alive. I let it fester, until it didn't hurt anymore. Because I might as well have been dead. Hell, I was dead.

And with that, I gave up calling all together. The packages would arrive. The letters and magazines kept coming. I read every word, every sentence twice. It was my only connection to the world. Until he appeared on the other side of the glass wall.

I wasn't expecting him to come. I mean, I was his wife for Christ's sake. I should have known he would eventually visit. I just didn't think it would be the day after I had my face rearranged my another inmate. I picked up the phone, wincing as I lifted my arms to bring it to my face. "Chibs," I said, my voice hoarse from yesterday's physical events. "Love," he whispered, his brows furrowed together as he drank it all in. I knew going into this that my mouth and temper would be a problem. I knew I had a long road ahead of me the moment I walked into that prison yard. Stockton. I was definitely no longer in Charming.

The guards and the inmates had it out for me, being as I was now the infamous Stockton PD employee that was behind those bars with them. The club's lawyer tried to have me transferred, but we all knew it was an uphill battle. I was on their turf now. SOA's reach was limited here, I was a female. There were no club members there to protect me, and as much as Chibs greased the wheels, more red tape would appear.

"I'm okay," I whispered back, my voice starting to waiver. I blinked rapidly, feeling the tears start to rise to the surface, my face feeling hot. I cleared my throat and shook it off, trying to gather my bearings. I will not cry, I kept repeating to myself over and over again. I would not give them that pleasure.

Chibs sighed, his lips pursed as he studied my face. We sat in silence for what felt like forever, thinking of what to say next. What could possibly make this better? What could possibly be said now? Nothing. There was nothing. Literally. He had looked under every rock, every crevice. Jarry was gone. And so was I.

And that was the last time he came.

I didn't push. I didn't ask. Who could blame him? I was a lost cause until my number came up. And throughout those 5 years, I thought of the various ways I would kill her. How I was going to repay the favor back to her. Every single second behind those walls, that was all I could think about.

There's always a point in every story where the main character always wonders how the hell they got to that exact moment in their life. The point where there was no light at the end of the tunnel, where the car ran out of gas, and when they were ready to throw in the towel. I was there- multiple times. Hell, I was still there. I could easily say that I learned my lesson- that would be the smart thing to say. I learned my lesson, so now I'm ready to move on. But that would be a lie. I've told a lot of lies, and that would be the biggest one to date.

But I know how I got here- I put myself in this position. I know the exact moment when everything went wrong. I willingly signed up for this life, this shit. I fell in love. Multiple times. What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic, or rather, a tragic one. And so I stood outside that jail and sighed, my eyes shut as the blazing sun assaulted me.

There I was, outside of that goddamn prison… 5 and a half years later. God, I am tired. When is enough, enough? At what point do I get the happy ending? At what point… can I just exist? But there I stood, my eyes shut as I leaned against the concrete wall that I had just spent the last couple of years drowning behind. I heard as he pulled up, stopping before me and using his foot to push out his kickstand.

As I stood there, I felt all those so called lessons start rushing back to me. I felt the fear, the excitement, the joy and sadness that all of those lessons brought back. I felt it all. Did I really change my ways? Did I really learn my lesson? I think not. I know I didn't, because when he stepped my way… I didn't hesitate. I didn't miss a step. I found his arms and I let myself get swept up in them.

Happy.

There I was, getting sucked back into it all. I wish I could box up those feelings that were rushing through me and explain that as his arms wrapped around me tightly, I began to feel freer. Does that even make sense? I'm sure it did to them. Wasn't that the entire reason behind their very existence? Do whatever makes you feel free?

In my utter bliss, I ignored the fact that he wasn't Chibs and there was no cut on his shoulders- the telltale hoodie zipped all the way up to hide any identifying markers. At that point, I should've known. Everything and nothing stays the same in Charming. "Jessie Mae," Happy whispered into my ear, his hard body pulled tightly against mine. "Happy," I said, burrowing my face into his shoulder and inhaling. Leather. Cigarettes. Engine grease. Sweat. Home.

I pulled away from him and we stared at each other, soft smiles on our faces. I noticed the new worry lines that appeared on his face, that time had started to age him, but his eyes... they were still the same. The years couldn't change that apparently. They were strong and quiet, but much like him, there was always a storm brewing behind them. "Welcome back, kiddo," he said, the smile now getting wider. "Not a kid anymore," I muttered, reaching up and running my fingers through my now waist length hair, the gray hairs glittering in the sunlight.

He reached over and ran his fingertips over the ends of my hair, his eyes half shut and a small grin on his face. "We missed you," he said, his hands finding mine and clasping them. Was this what I was supposed to be feeling? This excitement and nervousness all at once? The butterflies in my stomach felt like they had just done a line of coke in the bathroom, as they bounced around, reminding me that it was okay.

It was okay to smile, to breathe, to laugh again. It was okay to remove the scowl from my face and to actually be happy. Happiness- that's a feeling I can't even remember anymore. I can't honestly think about the last time I laughed or smiled, the last time… the last time I did anything except sit in that cell, read, workout, and ponder where exactly I went wrong.

"Let's go home," he said, his hand pulling me towards his bike. Home? Where was that? What was I going to be walking into? Who? Home was a concept I didn't understand anymore. I froze, my knees locking as he gently tugged on my hand. He turned back towards me and sighed. Happy stepped close to me, his hand on my elbow, his eyes staring intently into mines. "Listen, one step at a time, okay? We've all gone through this before. It'll take some time before things feel normal again."

Normal? Ha. I dug my fingernails into my palm, drawing in slow, deep breaths. I diverted my gaze away from him, trying to figure out my next move. "Jessie," he whispered, a concerned look on his face. Oh, right. I nodded, throwing him a smile to calm his worry. I was doing that thing again- I was disappearing into my thoughts.

A coping mechanism I had developed recently. After years of sitting in a cell alone, staying away from any other inmates or guards, I had picked up the habit of talking incessantly to myself in my head. Annoying when actually trying to talk to anyone else, but a self-preserving mechanism that I needed by year 2.

I snapped out of it and let Happy guide me onto his bike and that ride… oh man. That was a ride. The air enveloping my body, my hair flying behind me, the sound that drowned out the silence. Silence. That's what I had just spent the last 5 and a half years listening to. Nothingness, and it matched how I felt on the inside. Nothing.

I sighed, as we pulled off the highway and onto the empty streets. Silence. That's what filled the streets, not a soul in sight as we pulled into Charming and drove down the familiar neighborhoods. I simply assumed we were in Charming because that's where the club was, but much to my shock, we pulled up to my old house in Stockton.

I stood there, standing at the edge of the driveway and looked up at the house. That house- the house I thought I had a future in. The house I had written my entire life out of. The house that I loved and lost in. I brought a hand up to my face, blocking out the sun and observed the peeling paint, the dying rose bush in the front and the lone bike that was standing up against the side.

"Why are we here?" I asked, turning back to face Happy. "Jess," he began, but I already knew. The tone he spoke with explained it all. "A lot of things have changed since you've been gone." I scoffed, turning back to stare at the house. "Where are they?" I asked, wondering what was behind door #1. The house looked like no one had lived in it for years. It looked exactly how I had left it.

Happy leaned against his bike and nodded behind him. "Andy's at school. Should be out in a couple of hours. I usually grab him and bring him by. Chibs is out on a run," he said. I sighed, nodding slowly, my eyes never leaving the 239 that stood above the doorway to the house. "Ok. I have some time," I muttered to myself, absentmindedly.

I cleared my throat and took a step towards the house, Happy robotically mimicking my movements. I turned around and faced him, stepping in his way. "Can I do this one solo?" I asked, my stomach doing flips as I pictured what was waiting for me once I crossed that threshold. Happy watched my face, as if waiting for my facade to crack, but with time I learned to develop a really good poker face in prison. He nodded, smiling softly. "Call me if you need anything."

Happy slid his sunglasses back onto his face and climbed back onto his motorcycle. As he used his foot to kick out the stand, he turned his face towards me. "Heads up- the club wants to do a surprise thing for you tomorrow, so get ready to be ambushed," he said, before backing out of the driveway.

I stood there and watched him leave, contemplating my options. If I moved quick enough, I could pack a bag and leave now. Avoid SOA and whatever celebration they were planning for me. I could be out of town before the sun started to set. Or… I could stay and face them all. Face him. What the hell were we celebrating anyways? The 5 last miserable years?