Chapter Twenty-Seven: Heartache Every Moment
Chapter title taken from the HIM song.
"Miss me, Weasley?"
Christmas Eve had arrived, blessing the city with picturesque scenery straight from a story book: children laughing in the yards, snowball fights and snowmen galore, couples holding hands over hot chocolate. Meanwhile Rosalind's apartment smelled of eggs and bacon, as she was trying to make a Christmas Eve breakfast for Emma before they headed to the Greengrass estate for lunch.
"How fancy do I have to dress?" Emma asked from the bedroom. "I don't want to look like a dweeb."
"You don't look like a dweeb," Rosalind laughed as she saw her sister in dress pants and a blouse. "You look cute."
"I don't wanna look cute," she frowned, crossing her arms. "I'm not a baby."
"You're getting free food out of this so quit complaining," Rosalind instructed as she set down a plate of food for her.
"Why are you feeding me if we're about to go eat?" she asked with the brush still in her hair.
"Because I know if I don't feed you now you'll overeat there and get a stomachache after," she replied in a motherly tone. "You can't eat everything they have."
Emma frowned, chomping on her bacon. "Fine." She ate her food slowly, making faces the entire time. Rosalind hardly ate, opting for observing her sister instead. She had been extremely quiet since the first night she came home. It was unnerving.
As soon as she finished, Emma held her sister's arm, holding her breath and ready for the ride. With a faint pop they Apparated before an elaborate garden.
Daphne's mansion made Malfoy Manor look quaint: the scent from the rose bushes welcomed them into the tall, immensely long drawbridge, leading into a corridor lit by floating balls of bright fire. Wreaths and tinsel edged the walls, and a handsome Christmas tree sat beneath the largest window, the star atop illuminating the great room.
"Wow you weren't kidding," Emma said quietly. "I could get lost in here." Her eyes wandered around the room, fixating on the little boy running in their direction.
"Rosie Linda!" Ares screamed as he jumped into her arms. "I missed you!"
Rosalind beamed as she held the boy. "I missed you too pumpkin spice," she said as he smiled at the nickname she had given him. She turned her body to Emma, who was staring at the pair. "This is my sister Emma, she goes to Hogwarts."
Ares held out his hand like a perfect gentleman to shake the younger sister's. "Nice to meet you Emma," he said shyly. "I'm Ares, A-r-e-s!"
Emma giggled as she shook his tiny hand. "Nice to meet you."
Rosalind set him down as his mother walked in. Even on the most casual occasions Daphne looked extravagant but had out done herself today with her long dark hair perfectly coiffed, her makeup subtle yet beautiful, and her dress grazing the floor elegantly. She was always flawless. Pansy was sipping tea with her younger sister, along with their other Hogwarts and Durmstrang friends.
Daphne grinned as soon she saw the pair enter the grand room. "Don't tell me this darling little thing is your baby sister," she said as Emma clung onto Rosalind's arm and shuffled behind her back. Daphne lowered herself to Emma's height. "She looks just like you."
"Unfortunately," the youngest muffled as Rosalind rolled her eyes and grinned.
Rosalind nudged her in the shoulder. "Introduce yourself Emmy."
Emma slowly let go of her sister's arm, extending her hand for Daphne's. "Nice to meet you," she said in a quiet voice.
"She's a bit shy around strangers," Rosalind explained as her friend smiled broadly.
Daphne let out a tinkering laugh. "Oh she's adorable. She's going to be a heart breaker in a few years," she winked, causing the little girl's face to flush.
Emma glanced up at Rosalind, hiding behind her back again. "Go play with Ares. There are other kids your age here," she instructed in her motherly voice. "You'll be okay."
"I'm afraid to touch anything because everything looks so expensive."
Rosalind laughed. "You'll be fine. Just don't do anything dumb."
Emma scowled. "Okay ma'am," she laughed as her sister punched her arm. She stuttered into the other room with Ares and the other kids as Rosalind made her way to the dining hall.
The bubbling laughter of the young socialites brushed her ears; champagne was being poured by the house elves, gifts exchanged by the young women as they plopped tiny cubes of cheese and fruit into their mouths. If it wasn't for Daphne and Pansy, Rosalind would have felt out of place because in reality she was-an American born, broke Londoner who was raising a teenager when she wasn't at boarding school. Sometimes she felt like her blood status was the only thing that could save her.
"How's the Death Eater boyfriend treating you, Daph?" asked Loretta Morello, sipping her champagne delicately.
"He's fine, working with the Ministry at the moment," Daphne answered as her own glass clanked against the oak table. "I'm not sure when I'll be able to get in touch with him but he'll be alright."
"With the Ministry, you said?" Loretta raised her brow. "That's interesting considering he's a wanted man."
"He's working with me," Rosalind chimed in, noting the chill in her voice. "It's a high-profile case we have going on."
Loretta's brow did not waver. "You work at the Ministry?" her sarcastic chill continued. "Do tell, I would love to know more about this so-called case."
Rosalind let out a dry laugh. "I'm not allowed to discuss details. Confidentiality you know, and most laypeople don't understand the terms."
The corner of Loretta's lip quivered, her arrogance quaked for a moment. She rolled her head back to the other girls, instead questioning Pansy about her love life. Daphne was laughing silently behind her glass of champagne, shoving strawberries down her throat to keep herself from being heard. As the brunch continued, the bit of tension subdued; Emma was even getting along with Pansy's sister, who had apologized and was no longer bullying her. She buzzed into the room like an airplane with Ares on her back, who was holding her arms. It warmed her heart that Emma was smiling, the fight they had still pained her. She knew that as much as her little sister pretended to be okay with what she did, she was hurting on the inside.
"She has such a pure little heart," Daphne observed as their children played on.
"She's much better with kids than I am," Rosalind said between sips of champagne.
"Nonsense, Ares loves you." She set down her glass, shuffling a roll of parchment, rubbing her temple. "Loretta approached me about opening a shelter for battered and traumatized women. While I think it's a great idea I don't think she's suited for it."
"That arrogance would be difficult to work with."
"Precisely," she sighed. "She doesn't know how to play nice or have any clue how to speak to someone who's been traumatized." She plopped a biscuit in her mouth, eyeing her friend. "You should do it with me."
"Me?" Rosalind scoffed in surprise. "Why?"
"After everything you've been through? Why not?"
Rosalind paused, scraping her heels on the floor. "I can barely help myself," she said in a low voice. "How could I possibly help others?"
Daphne raised her brow, tapping her on the forehead with the scroll of parchment. "Promise me you'll think about it."
"I promise," she said with a laugh, throwing her another biscuit.
After brunch at the Greengrass estate was dinner at Malfoy Manor. Rosalind and Emma arrived as the sun was setting its crimson rays of the horizon. She was never at the Manor during the day, it seemed. Unlike previous occasions, however, the dinner was intimate: the house elves ate in the kitchen while the Malfoys, Rosalind and Emma sat at the smaller dining table. The Christmas tree towered over them, along with snow that fell just above their heads. Emma was sporting a Christmas hat that Draco had given her, along with a gold necklace from Narcissa and Lucius, in the shape of the letter E.
Draco's knife scratched loudly against his plate. She glanced up at him, peering into his pale grey eyes. "I'm glad you're here," he said quietly. "Both of you."
Rosalind smiled. "Me too." She held his gaze, a flicker passing through them."Thank you for inviting us."
Draco grinned. "Of course. You're both always welcome." He was giving her a lost, familiar look, a glimmer of a smile peeking underneath his pale face.
"Come walk with me," he suggested, still keeping their gaze. She hooked her arm into the crevice of his elbow as he lead her to the back garden, leaving a trail of footprints behind them. A small rabbit thumped, hopping away from them into its den. Moments later they reached the fountain, trickling water daintily, the music from inside the manor playing softly. Rosalind spun around, dancing to the smooth jazz as Draco laughed at her.
"I haven't seen you smile like that in ages," he observed as she took his hands, forcing him to dance with her.
"I haven't had a reason to," she said as he held her close, swaying to the music.
"Rubbish," he said as she frowned at him. "It's Christmas. You should be happy."
"I am," she said still grinning, playing with the collar of his shirt. "It's been a wonderful day."
The music faded, as did the movement of their bodies. They stared into each other's eyes, several words passing between them as the snow fell onto their shoulders. Rosalind blinked, her long lashes flicking away the snowflakes. Draco lifted her chin slowly, rubbing the underside of her jaw. For a moment they paused-breathless, as he closed his eyes, pulling her into his chest.
It was another white Christmas and a beautiful one at that-the shops were closed but the sun was shining, children were playing and there was an abundance of Christmas cheer all around. Rosalind was humming a Celestina Warbeck tune, collecting the gifts she was taking to the Burrow, Emma busy tying her shoes in the corner, still wearing the singing Santa hat.
"Let's go munchkin," she said as Emma scowled, holding onto her sister's arm. She was almost thirteen years old and still had separation anxiety. With a faint pop and the quick feeling of estrangement, they had arrived at the Burrow. Rosalind's stomach lurched; she was nervous and unsure whether it was a good idea to be there in the first place. She contemplated turning around when a jolly Mrs. Weasley spotted her by the gnome garden.
"Oh Rosalind dear, come in!" she said cheerfully, spotting the little girl beside her. "Let me guess who this is, Emma?" she asked as Emma hid behind Rosalind's back again, nodding. "What a sweet pea!" she chuckled, opening the door for the guests.
A swarm of scents flooded their noses: Christmas spices, Christmas cakes, Christmas dinner, and Christmas dessert as various members of the Weasley clan and neighbors dotted the crowded kitchen and living room. She held onto her sister's hand as they made their way to the ten-foot tree decorated with the most simple yet beautiful decorations. With the kids running around together, the mothers in the kitchen helping with the cooking and young adults scattered about, she had no idea where to go and the anxiety kicked in: she couldn't leave Emma by herself for too long, but she couldn't stay at the kids' table either.
Her little sister tugged at her arm. "What's wrong with that kid's face?" she asked in disbelief as she saw Teddy Lupin sprout a pig nose, then a hawk's beak as the other children looked on in awe.
"He's a Metamorphmagus, he can change the way he looks," Rosalind said laughing at her sister's shocked expression.
"Oh look who's here!" an excited Hermione exclaimed as Ginny followed suit. "She's such a doll!" She beamed as Emma flushed, clutching her sister's arm tighter.
"She's a little shy," Rosalind lamented, jerking her sister to stand in front of her. "She's not used to being around so many people either."
"How are you liking Hogwarts?" Hermione asked kindly. "What House did you get Sorted in?"
"I like it," she answered in a small voice. "I'm in Gryffindor."
The girls laughed as Harry and Ron made their way over. "That's a good thing because Gryffindor is the best House you know," the Golden Girl winked. "That's where all the brave people go."
Emma gave her awkward, close-lipped smile as she was ushered around into the next room by the Christmas tree. Her eyes lit up as she saw a small stack of presents waiting for her, next to a similar stack for Rosalind.
"These are for me?" she asked meekly, looking at her scowling sister for confirmation. "I-I mean thank you," she finished as she began opening the top box, pulling out a maroon knitted sweater with a large "E" on it. Several products from Weasley Wizard Wheezes were gifted, as well as a few books from Hermione. The little girl looked like she was on the verge of tears from happiness.
As the evening continued, more faces popped in and out of the Burrow, some that Rosalind recognized from reading the Prophet or around the Ministry: Luna Lovegood, who was becoming well acquainted with Neville Longbottom, Rubeus Hagrid, who was larger than life, hanging in the garden with Olympe Maxine, Bill and Fleur Weasley and family, along with Charlie and Percy Weasley, and a few faces she had never seen before. It was surreal seeing so many figures she had only read about.
"I'm glad to see you've made it," a familiar half-cheerful voice said behind her. Rosalind turned her body to see George Weasley in his infamous Weasley sweater and a Christmas hat. "I almost thought you wouldn't show."
She hesitated, taking a moment to look into his face. She had never noticed how lined it was; wear and tear and grieving the last few years had weathered creases on the corners of his eyes and his mouth. His warm brown eyes were not as inviting as they once were, looking fragile.
Rosalind swallowed a lump in her throat, forcing herself to cough. "Thanks for having us." She took a deep breath, not knowing what to say next.
"Well you uh-you look great," George said with a forced laugh, scratching the side of his earless head.
"Thanks," she said in a small voice. "It's nice to be around a real family for Christmas once. I forgot what it was like." She held her arm awkwardly like she always did, moving a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're really lucky to have them."
"I know," he said as he sat on the edge of the stone wall. "I love them to death. Wouldn't trade them for the world." He gazed ahead, as she took another moment to examine him: he smelled the same, as if he came straight from a bakery. She longed for his touch, for him to tell her she adored him. More than anything she wanted to run away with him-far away where they could be by themselves together for the rest of their lives. But she would never tell him that. He glanced down at her, his signature grin appearing at the corner of his lips.
"Listen," he began as he scratched his nose. "I've been thinking a lot about the other day and I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry for surprising you at the Ministry like that. I hope you can forgive me."
Rosalind mouth opened, surprised at the gesture. "You're not the one who should be apologizing."
George merely shrugged. "I feel as if I should."
"Don't," she said louder than anticipated, staring at her hands. "George, you-you are everything I could have ever asked for. But even if nothing happened with anyone else I don't think it would've worked." He opened his mouth to retort but she shushed him. "We both have suffered a lot of trauma. But you've become a better person from it and I-I'm not so sure I have." She inhaled deeply to keep the tears from streaming from her eyes. "And I have to live with that. I've seen and I've done a lot-why would anyone want to be with someone like that? Someone like me?"
He smiled sheepishly, caressing her hand. "I did."
"You did. Before you knew." She sobbed, wiping a tear from her face. "You deserve someone who shares your kind and goofy outlook on life, who's a positive influence on you. N-not someone who will weigh you down."
His head bowed slightly. "You shouldn't talk of yourself like that."
"It's true though," she replied in a low voice. "I'm a black hole. And that's not what you deserve."
The corners of his mouth quivered with the words he wanted to say, his eyes saddened.. "Perhaps you're-"
But George became distracted; a new face had appeared, one that was a stranger to Rosalind but not to the Weasley twin. A tall, dark skinned woman with flawless, smooth skin and tight-knit curls stood in their midst, the curves of her athletic body visible through the tribal dress she was wearing. She was beautiful, and she knew it- and George knew it as well.
"Is-is that Angelina Johnson?" he stammered, as the woman laughed, pulling him into a deep embrace.
"Miss me, Weasley?" she asked playfully. "I know you did."
And they stared into each other's eyes like long lost lovers, Rosalind suddenly invisible.
Did anyone see that one coming? Haha. We all know how this goes with canon-George ends up with Angelina and Draco ends up with Astoria. Rosalind is a bit complicated so we'll see what happens with her. Thank you so much for reading!
Next chapter: A Martyr for my Love for You