Chapter 11: Real

I woke up the next morning, rested. As I poured myself a cup of coffee, I couldn't fully remember the last time I had such a great night's sleep. Maybe it was committing a murder? Adultery? Who knows, but I found myself smiling as I stared out the kitchen window. And let's not forget- I had somewhere to start, at least, a way to find HER. Stockton. The motel owner. She was close, I just needed to be faster than her. Smarter than her.

"Morning," Chibs spat out, as he entered through the kitchen's side door. I raised my cup of coffee towards him and threw him a small smile, before returning my focus to the world outside. I briefly imagined how he would react if I told him everything that had happened over the last few days. The different scenarios all led me to one conclusion- keep your mouth shut. He grunted, disappearing into the bedroom and returning a few moments later. "Where is Andy?" He asked, stopping in front of the counter and pouring himself a cup of coffee. "School, he took the bus this morning. Buys me an extra 15 minutes in bed, before I have to get up to get ready for work," I replied.

I could feel the vibe in the room change as I brought up the topic of work. We still hadn't spoken about Hale and the job since our last blow up surrounding it. "How goes the ole' 9 to 5?" I heard him chuckle behind me, and I could only imagine the sarcastic look on his face. "You tell me, don't you work a 9 to 5, as well? Oh, wait- that's a different 9 to 5," I spat back, turning to face him. Chibs threw me a small smile before heading towards the exit. "You were out late last night," he said, stopping in the doorway. Fucking prospects watching the house.

I laughed, turning back to the window. "You're out late every night," I threw back, taking a sip of my coffee. "The difference is that she isn't married, with a kid, Jessie Mae," he said. I drew in a deep breath and turned to face him, locking eyes with him. "No, but you are," I said. We held a stare for a few moments, before he nodded slowly and exited the room. I turned back to the window, the peace inside of me long gone. Now it was replaced with images of Noelle and Vicky, waiting on Happy to eat dinner. I'm a real shitty person.

I jumped as I felt him move behind me, drawing me out of my own thoughts. Happy. I turned to face him, leaning against my father's headstone and sighing. "Why the secrecy?" I asked, drawing my jacket around me, a chilly wind starting to pick up in the cemetery. "I want to talk to you about that night," he said, placing his sunglasses on the top of his head. "There's not much left to talk about, Hap. We crossed the line, I get it but thank you -"

"No, I mean the guard. I want to talk about what the guard said, about you," he said, slowly. I exhaled and shrugged my shoulders. "What about it?" I asked. He sarcastically shrugged his shoulders and motioned around us. "Seems to me like you left out some bits and pieces about the last year couple of years, so why don't you fill me in." I groaned, running a hand over my face.

"Can we not? Let's just focus on the fact that we have a line on Jarry, a place to start digging and asking questions," I said. Happy stepped towards me, his face blank. "Don't bullshit me, Jessie Mae. That guard, he knew things about you," he said. I shook my head, and turned back to the headstone. Fuck! I knew some shit like this would happen eventually. "Jessie!" He yelled at me, grabbing my arm and forcing me to turn back to him. "Talk to me," he said, firmly.

I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I….I," I stammered, trying to will the words to come out. "A few months after I went in, Danny reached out. It started with letters, then phone calls, then visits. It was harmless in the beginning, but then…" Happy sighed. "You started a relationship with him," he said, quietly.

"I… I needed some pull on the inside. I started asking him for favors, contraband, and next thing I know, I'm smuggling in goods and making a profit." He shook his head, turning his back on me and pacing. "He hung you out to dry and you kept in contact with him?" He asked. I scoffed, shaking my head. "Yeah, he may not have decided to help me commit a crime, but he sure as hell came through when I needed him!"

"Needed him?" Happy stopped pacing and faced me. "Are you kidding me? He turned his back on you- he's a coward!" I chuckled, holding my hands up in front of me. "He made a decision not to incriminate himself, not to risk his future and everything he worked so hard to get. I cannot blame him for having the balls to believe in himself and choose what was right for him," I replied. Happy stared at me like I had grown two additional heads throughout this conversation. "And you? I thought you made your decision as well."

I sighed, dropping my arms and leaning against the headstone behind me. "I did, I had. But he kept trying and I couldn't blame him for what happened. I chose to take that deal, to kill that guard. I couldn't be mad at anyone but myself, so I answered his letters. I was lonely, and he was nice," I said. Happy walked over to me, his hands lost deep inside his pockets.

"Jessie.. What did you do?" He asked. "I...a few months after turning myself in, I guess Patterson started digging into Stockton PD. He had an old partner that was dirty and he got wrapped up in it. He got written up, docked, placed on desk duty and his perfect record was tarnished. Even though his partner got kicked off the force, the damage was done. At first it was just us catching up and then I confided in him about what was going on. If I was going to survive, I needed to grease the wheels. I knew the club didn't have money and I had no protection on the inside, so… he used what little connections and friends he had left in the PD to help me smuggle in contraband into the prison. From there, I was able to sell and collect favors. Simmons was the only guard that held out, the others took the cash and steered clear of me, but he refused. At least now we know why," I said.

Happy's eyes were focused on the ground in front of him, his brows furrowed together. I could tell he was thinking about something, his face sad and his body tense. I hopped off the headstone and walked to him, placing a hand on his arm. He pulled away from me, clearing his throat. He was mad I went to Danny and not him. Or maybe it was the fact that I got wrapped up in the shit surrounding Charming again. "We need to start digging into the motel owner, see if we can find out who her PD connect is. Do you think he can help you out with that?" Happy asked, his tone short.

I nodded, holding my head up high and finding his eyes. "I called him last night, and arranged a meeting for tonight," I said. Happy nodded, averting his eyes. "You going to tell Chibs about this?" I sighed, shaking my head. "Telling Chibs about Danny is only gonna make keeping Simmons a secret, harder. As of right now, there's nothing to tell him. Just another body for him to carry on his conscience, so we wait until we actually have something concrete on Jarry."

He took a few steps away, cracking his knuckles. "What's the plan? You get cozy again until he gives you something we can use?" He asked. "That's the plan," I said, nodding. Happy continued to pace in silence. "What's your concern?" I asked, knowing we had to move everything along. I stood there in silence, waiting for him to speak. Eventually, after a few moments, he spoke. "That's neither here nor there. Just be safe tonight," he said. And with that, he was gone, leaving me feeling real confused.

I sat at my usual lunch spot, on the bench in the park, across from the office. She appeared out of thin air, sitting down next to me, not a hair out of place. Patterson. I glanced at her over my sunglasses and smirked. This was the last person I would've ever wanted to run into, not even a week after murdering Simmons. I was having serious deja vu.

"Good afternoon. I'm sorry for dropping by unannounced," she said. I chuckled to myself, putting down my sandwich on the spot next to me and turning to face her. "It's been a while, good to see you doing well," I responded. We stared at each other for a while, until she cleared her throat. "You seem to be doing well," she said, her voice dripping with unanswered questions. I sighed, nodding slowly. "Things are looking up," I replied.

"You stopped taking my visits," she added, after a while. I shrugged. "Seemed like your good deeds could be better utilized somewhere else," I replied. She turned towards me, her lips set in a straight line. "I was trying to help you, make sure you survived in there," she said. I sighed, running a hand over my face. "You were trying to get me to flip on the club. You were buttering me up in hopes that I would give you something that you could use. Let me be clear, nothing has changed on my end."

Patterson sighed, turning and facing forward. "I know I didn't do a good job of protecting you in there, but I tried. I visited, I sat and I listened. That's more than what they ever did for you," she said. "You told everyone about my ties to SAMCRO, you labeled me the gang member, remember? You made sure no one with ties to SAMCRO or any other organization would be able to visit me. That was all you." Patterson laughed, standing up from her seat.

Always well put together, she stood in front of me and arranged her suit jacket. "And what about Chibs? His spousal privilege trumps all that. I went through those logs- maybe 2 or 3 visits in 5 years. 5 YEARS!" She exclaimed. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a business card, handing it to me. "For when you need a real friend," she said, before walking away and leaving me to ponder what a real friend was.