Chapter 17
Lucy tapped her finger on the wooden surface of the table the candles flickered dimly as the great grandfather clock ticked the time.
Awkward silence, Natsu didn't know where to start or what to say it was troubling
"Why," she asked, her head slowly turning towards him
"Why Natsu?" she repeated, her eyes bored into his
"It's-" Natsu began *sigh* "You- I-" and he sighed again
"Give me an answer," Lucy said sternly
"I care for you Lucy" he finally said
Lucy's jaw almost fell while the tips of Natsu's ears reddened
"Why do you care for a person who you barely know?" she asked, her voice growing in a whisper
"I-I don't know," he said running his hands through his hair
"I can't accept 'I don't know' as an answer," she said, her hands reaching towards her elbows
"The only thing I do know is that," he said looking into her dirty brown eyes
"You are one of a kind, Lucy" his hand reaching for Lucy's hands
"Lucy, even though I don't know you; I know what you are going through," he said, his hand only a millimeter away from touching Lucy's hand
Suddenly, Lucy sprang out of her chair, tears sprung to her eyes "Stop it!" she screamed "Please! Just stop!"
Natsu froze, his outreached hand was left there, hanging.
"You have no idea!" she bawled, tears streamed down her cheeks.
And with that, she ran out of the restaurant, the doors crashed hard against the wooden walls
Natsu's mind went blank as he tried to think of what to do but his body started to rise and then his legs started to stiffen
His legs
Began to move
Specifically run
And he ran, following his instincts through the cold, frothy air which was blasting its merciless wind upon him.
He followed her tracks which could've been someone's else's but he knew it wasn't
He did not know how but he felt it
It felt like days to his soul: following, chasing, yearning for her
He never felt like that before but suddenly after her unusual outburst his curiosity piqued
But not only his curiosity, something else happened too. Unfortunately, he didn't know what it was
After what it felt like years of running the tracks stopped
No! Please don't tell me that the snow had covered it! Please! he thought, crossing his fingers
But it was not so,
After looking around the area where the tracks had stopped
He thought of what would be a good place to be alone
After a long time of pondering he finally got an idea of where she might be
She must've gone to TMB, that's the only place I would go
Lucy felt cold
She didn't know why she didn't run back home
She was freezing, the thin layer of ice which sat on top of the bench started to feel uncomfortable
Stupid Natsu! He doesn't know anything about what I'm feeling! she thought, her tears falling to the ground
She covered her face with her hands, trying to make her face invisible
And the thoughts began to speak in her mind
Why do you have to live a life like this?
You aren't forced to live a life with so much pain and suffering
Free yourself
Free yourself from the pain
From the hurt
Everything
She slowly but surely began to agree with them
...Yes...
Your right...
I can't do anything anymore
They tried...
But nothing changed...
They promised me...
But nothing happened...
It's not their fault...
But its the only way
And the thoughts began to encourage her thoughts of death
Yes, Lucy, it seemed to embrace her
Yes it wrapped its arms around her
Its hot breath gave her a feeling of peace,
A feeling of rest
She gradually gave into its arms
Flashback
Lucy had come back from school and was very irritated "...I'm so sick of everything" she mumbled angrily
"Why? I never did anything!" she grumbled "I gave her my all! I loved her more than anyone!" she cried burying hands in her hair
Just a few hours ago Lucy's heart had been shattered once more by a person she cared about greatly. No. Not even greatly. There were no words that describe the love she had for the person
XooxOxooX
The recess bell had rung and Lucy had just finished her Math test. She was in a very happy mood as she was on her way to meet her best friend
The hot air of summer washed over her as she exited the building
And in a matter of minutes, she saw her best friends blonde hair which had a tint of green she remembered her say yesterday
'My mom and I are going to the salon this afternoon to get my hair dyed'
'It looks beautiful' she thought as she ran towards her
"Michel-" she started to say but then stopped when her expression wasn't warm and friendly as it always had been
"M-Michelle?"
She didn't know the expression Michelle was wearing because Michelle never looked at her that way
Sure, they had fought multiple times. I mean, don't all best friends do?
But this? She didn't know.
Lucy looked at her friend with the confusion of an innocent child, pure in heart.
But Michelle Lobster didn't say anything but kept quiet
"Please say something' she pleaded
Lucy wouldn't forget the words she had spoken next
"Your disgusting" her dear friend said
That was the moment she had identified the expression she was wearing
It was a face of dread and disgust, an expression of hate and utter revulsion
But Lucy wanted to know why so she asked her "Why Michelle?"
"Why?" she asked scornfully
"I was doing all of the 'Best Friends Forever' stuff because I had no friends"
"I saw you all alone and I thought it would be perfect to stick with you and act like I cared for you but then ditch you in the end"
"But, You planned this ever since we were ten?!" she asked in disbelief
"Yes sweetie, I am person who never leaves sight of my goal, no matter how many years it takes," she said her nose all pinched up
"You should have known that I'm stubborn, bestie" she mocked Lucy
She wasn't lying, Michelle was a very stubborn person
"You were a tool to my success, Haven't you noticed I've started to hang out with Hisui"
"Besides you were just starting to get annoying with all the love and loyalty," she said rolling her eyes "Ughh"
"But" tears began to line the under rim of her eyes "I did all of that for you"
"The lies, the love, the devotion. Everything Michelle!" Now it was her turn
"Don't you remember the projects we did together?! The nights I've slept over! I came to you whenever you called me to sleep over at your house! The hugs! The memories! The days!"
"We can go on and on Lucy," she said groaning "But, It was you who followed me like a loyal dog you could have said no but you didn't"
"I said yes because I liked spending time with you because I liked to talk with you in the middle of the night even though I was tired"
"You know what Lucy! I don't care! I don't give a f***! And you don't need to care either!" Michelle screamed
"Be the lonely a** b**** you were when I wasn't your 'friend' OK? I don't care!"
"You are just a fat a** that needs to go on a diet" she spat at the ground
"I have my own friends now and YOU are nothing to me Heartphillia"
"Goodbye!" she gave a tough salute and spun on her heel, walking towards the new girl, Hisui
"Goodbye?" she said sobbing "Goodbye?!" she wept
"How dare you! How could you do that to me!" her heart screamed, her head hurt she began to hate herself
"No..." she said her voice sore "NOT AGAIN!" she screamed
She couldn't count the number of times she had been duped
It was too much for her to handle
Too much to bear
With her parents hating her and now when the only person she had lived for, the only person she had put as her strength crushed her
Her head spiraled deeper into the depression she was already in
"Maybe I am nothing"
"I'm just going to be used for the rest of my life"
"I'm worthless"
"A fat girl who needs to die"
"If being loyal is just going to be used into a piece of trash"
"I might as well..."
"End it"
Before she had Michelle as an excuse to stop her suicidal thoughts but now Michelle is now the root cause
Lucy quietly crept into the kitchen grabbing the sharpest thing she could find
The large saw-like knife that her mother used to take off the skin of hard skin that was difficult to peel off with a normal knife
She grabbed the handle and felt the flat metal side if it and pricked her finger with the tip of it
Blood crawled on the surface
She slowly pointed it towards her neck and thought of all the memories she had with her best friend and then
The door opened
In their apartment the exit door was right in front of their kitchen so she didn't have enough time to cover the knife
It was her mother
Layla's eyes widened and she screamed "Lucy! Put it down!"
Lucy stood still, the weapon still drawn towards her
"LUCY! PUT IT DOWN!"
Lucy's eyes began to water as she said "Mum! I'm sorry! I have to do this!"
"No! You have no reason to do this! Stop!"
Lucy smiled as heart pitied for her mother
"I'm sorry, mother"
A/N: Sorry for the terrible updating but I'll try my best to upload on time! Thank you for the comment of concern don't worry! I am fine thanks to all of you and yes this fanfiction is based on a true story if you have any questions please ask me directly or I can hold a Q&A
Love, Author