"We are gathered here today to remember King Draco Malfoy, our beloved king," the official droned on, seemingly oblivious to the half-asleep crowd in front of him. "He ruled for 36 years, 36 years in which our country prospered. He created the Ministry of Magic as we know it today, and separated the Muggle and Magical worlds. He was an excellent duelist, wrote books, and played many instruments. He was well loved by all the people. One little known fact about His Majesty was that he was allergic to most foods, specifically fruits, and kept to a special diet."
Everyone laughed, knowing of Draco Malfoy's love for sweets.
Pansy Parkinson snorted at the official's words, unconsciously smoothing out her golden skirt. "I'm done," she murmured to herself. "There is no good reason for me to keep sitting here, listening to some Ministry puppet talk about how Draco was a good person."
"He was a kind king, very witty and clever," the official droned on, but Pansy absolutely refused to listen any further.
Heads turned as Pansy stood up and strode out of the room, her black ankle boots making noise with each step she took. Letting the door slam behind her, Pansy sunk down onto one of the leather couches inside the funeral home, breathing a sigh of relief.
"You couldn't sit through that either?" a silvery voice asked. Pansy, who hadn't realized that there was anyone else in the room, whipped her head around to see a gorgeous blonde woman lounging against the reception desk.
"Who could?" a familiar voice answered. Daphne Greengrass stepped into view, having followed Pansy out the door. "It's complete and utter-"
"I'd thank you to watch your language," Hermione Granger said stiffly, sitting down next to Daphne.
Pansy rolled her eyes. "Of course you would, Granger."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione demanded, her amber eyes flashing.
"Relax, Mione," Ginny Weasley said calmly, flicking a strand of hair over her shoulder. The bright auburn hair clashed with Ginny's pink dress, yet the redhead somehow made it work. "So what's everyone else doing out here?"
"Nothing better to do," Daphne said, shrugging elegantly. "Unless you would prefer to listen to the official?"
"I'd take Binns anyday," Ginny exclaimed.
"You didn't pay any attention in History, Ginny," the melodic voice of Luna Lovegood said.
"Yes, well, all the better reason not to pay attention now," Ginny grinned.
"Hear, hear," Pansy called, raising an invisible glass.
"Let's get out of here," Gabrielle Delacour suggested, standing up straight. Her fitted red dress clung to her like a second skin as she strutted towards the door. "I know a place."
"Of course you do," Daphne murmured under her breath, but Pansy caught it anyway.
The six women made a sight as they silently walked through the streets of london. Pansy, in a black top with puffed sleeves, and a metallic gold skirt. Daphne in her green skater dress and matching heels, Luna in her white wedding-esque outfit. Gabrielle drew a lot of attention with her shiny red dress, while Ginny, dressed in a short pink dress with a tulle overlay, ignored the other women and chatted quietly with Hermione, who was dressed in blue sequins next to her.
"Hello, Ladies," a guy grinned as they stopped outside a large building. "Gabrielle, lovely to have you back."
"Still not interested, Blaise," Gabrielle rolled her eyes. "Come in, and don't mind Blaise. He's a flirt," she addressed the five women standing behind her.
"Are you sure we should be going in?" a nervous Hermione asked.
"It's fine," Ginny said, blowing Blaise a kiss as she passed.
"What is this place?" Daphne asked curiously as she gazed at the room.
"It's a karaoke place, bar, club, dance, etc," Gabrielle said, sitting down in one of the booths.
"What's karaoke?" Luna asked, Pansy nodding besides her.
"Singing," Hermione told her.
"Right!" Pansy exclaimed. "So we're all here for one reason - because we all hate Draco Malfoy."
Daphne continued, "If there's one thing in common between us, it's that we were all married to the jerk at some point."
"And he screwed us all over," Gabrielle added.
The table was silent for a minute, none of the girls wanting to ask what everyone had been thinking. "So who killed him?" Ginny finally asked.
"I didn't!" Hermione was quick to say.
"The nargles did it," Luna responded.
"Oh, come on," Pansy sighed. "We all had terrible experiences with Draco, and we all had reason to kill him. I was forced into marriage with Draco after his older brother Scorpius died. I was a paragon of royalty. My loyalty was to the old ministry, until Draco ruined it all. He tried to dump me once, well," she paused for dramatic effect.
"Well, what?" Gabrielle asked impatiently.
"Well, he didn't try that again," Pansy laughed lightly at her own joke. "He hated being stuck to me. He wanted his own young, willing, wife, someone hot, someone who would answer his every need, someone like-"
"Me," Daphne smirked. "That Greengrass girl, who helped him break the Ministry of Magic from the Muggle World, and someone who was that sexy."
"So then how did you lose your head, if he liked you that much?" Hermione asked curiously.
"My House may have been green, but my lipstick's red," Daphne touched the Slytherin crest on her thin bracelet, Pansy mirroring her movement on her identical one. "Now, Luna Lovegood, what did they call you? Oh yes, 'the only one he truly loved.' One of the better articles by Rita Skeeter, I do wonder what happened to her."
"It was quite rude of her," Hermione commented. "She really bugged me, if you know what I mean."
"Well, when my son was newly born, I died," Luna said simply. "But there's a lot more to me than that. I'm not just what I seem. If you stick around, you'll suddenly see more."
"Great story, Loony," Pansy said mockingly. "Quite horrific."
"Lay off of Luna," Ginny said. "Just because she had a better life than you doesn't give you any right to be mean to her."
"Ah-hem," Gabrielle coughed delicately. "I believe it is my turn."
"Go ahead," Pansy said, ignoring Ginny.
"Je suis Gabrielle Delacour," Gabrielle began, "and Draco wanted to marry me ever since he saw a portrait of my sister. She was already engaged, so I was sent to marry him. But I didn't look as good as Fleur did," Gabrielle shrugged.
"Well it's because Fleur's a half veela and you're only a quarter," Luna said bluntly.
"Thank you Luna, for pointing that out," Gabrielle said sarcastically. "Please, do, tell more. On second thought, let's talk more about Draco. You know, it's funny how we all complain about our lives, but never Draco's little-"
"Gabrielle!" Hermione cried in shock before the french girl could finish her sentence.
"Shush," Ginny insisted, standing up. "Now, I lost my head for my promiscuity outside of wed."
"What'd you do, sleep with half the castle?" Pansy called, already on her fourth glass of champagne.
"You should lock up your husbands, lock up your sons," Ginny smirked. "Because Ginny Weasley is here, and the fun's begun!" Ginny laughed, collapsing back into her seat. "Another round, on me!"
"That just leaves Granger," Daphne said, turning to look at the brunette.
Hermione cleared her throat. "Well, I was Draco's final wife. I guess you could say I'm the survivor?"
"So tell us, Granger," Pansy called, "How did you get to the end? What did you have that we all didn't?"
Hermione flushed. "Um, I don't know."
"Sit down, Hermione," Pansy said, emphasizing the woman's name, "and let me tell you how it all started."
"We all know how it ended," Gabrielle snorted. "You killing Draco."
"I killed Draco no more than you did," Pansy shot back.
"So Daphne killed him then," Gabrielle responded.
"I think it was Ginny," Daphne retorted.
"Ladies!" Pansy yelled, quieting the argument. "Sit down and shut up."
She slid out from the booth and walked up to the stage. "It all started when I was 2. I was betrothed to Scorpius Malfoy, Draco's older brother. I was taught to hide my emotions, conceal don't feel, don't let them know, all that jazz. Fast forwards to after Hogwarts, I married Scorpius, who died a few years later. I then married Draco," she paused, looking at each girl individually. "In all the times I was by his side, I never lost control, no matter how many times I knew he lied. I kept to my golden rule - gotta keep your cool. So even though he was having his fun, running around with some pretty young thing, and even when he had a son with someone who didn't own a wedding ring, I didn't say a word," Pansy said, stepping to the front of the stage. "I put up with Draco every single day. So now, it's your time to shh and listen to what I have to say. You all might think that I'm crazy, and that you just want to replace me and be Draco's wife, but there's no way I'd ever let that happen. If he'd thought for a moment, that I'd grant him annulment, well, there's just no way."
"Oh yeah?" Daphne called. "And weren't you cursed for being his brother's wife first?"
"It was a pity, that he thought that quoting Leviticus would leave me kiddyless for the rest of my life," Pansy smirked. "After all, he was there when I gave birth to Mary, my sweet baby.
"You know, I was there, down on my knees, begging to know what I did wrong. I was humble, I was loyal, I tried to swallow my pride all along. Yet he couldn't give me a single thing I'd done to cause him pain," Pansy's voice grew colder. "So I said no way. Draco made me his wife, so I'd be queen until the end of my life."
"How'd that work out for you?" Daphne said, stepping onto the stage. Pansy glared at the other woman.
"Let's hear your story," Ginny called, eager to hear what the blonde had to say. "Pansy, come sit. You've had your turn."
"I grew up in the French ministry, you know, all that oui oui, bonjour, stuff," Daphne began. "Life was a chore, so I came straight to the UK. But all the British dudes were lame, so it was an epic fail. I wanted to dance and sing!" Daphne exclaimed, spinning around.
"Politics?" Gabrielle laughed.
"Not my thing," Daphne grinned back. "But then I met the king, and soon my Daddy said that I should try and get ahead. He wanted me, obviously, and kept messaging me like every day. It couldn't be better, except he sent me a letter, and who am I kidding, I was pret a mange."
"So what did you do?" Luna asked.
"I sent a reply, you know, just saying hi," Daphne shrugged. "Something like, 'you're a nice guy, I'll think about it maybe, XO baby.'"
"Wait, you sent him kisses?" Pansy said angrily.
"I certainly didn't know I would move in with his missus?"
"What?" four voices chorused in unison, Pansy already knowing this.
"Get a life," Daphne rolled her eyes.
"You're living with his wife," Hermione pointed out.
"Well what was I meant to do?" Daphne shot back. "Look, I'm not sorry for what I said. I was just trying to have some fun. So don't worry your pretty little head off, because I never meant to hurt anyone."
"LOL," Pansy sarcastically. "Yes, we're all laughing right now, Daph. Everyone whose lives you ruined."
"Go to-" Daphne started, but the rest of her words were drowned out by Hermione.
"Daphne!" Hermione shrieked. "Can you please not use such foul language around me?"
Daphne rolled her eyes. "Whatever. So there were three of us in the bed and I basically told Draco that it's either her or me."
"It's like he was blind or something," Gabrielle agreed. "Draco had no tact, and no idea how to treat women properly."
Pansy huffed. "You can't just come in and take my life away!" she protested.
"Pansy, I already did," Daphne laughed. "Don't be bitter just because I'm fitter, Pans. Green just isn't the color for you."
"Wow, Daph, way to make us all hate you," Ginny called.
"What was I meant to do?" Daphne protested. "We tried to elope but the Ministry officials wouldn't let us, so we waited until Draco got a promotion, you know, and caused quite a large commotion. The rules were very outdated, and to put it nicely, Draco and I just wanted to get," she smirked, "x-rated."
"Alright, that's enough," Pansy stood up angrily. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to you talk about my ex-husband and you."
"Sit down, Pansy!" Ginny said, grabbing one of the girl's arms. Gabrielle grabbed the other, and the two forced Pansy down to her seat.
"The heliopaths are making her act like this," Luna asked calmly.
Daphne stared at Luna strangely for a minute, before shaking her head. "Anyways, just everybody chill. Draco was out every night at 'ministry balls', sleeping around with any willing witch. So I thought, if that's how it's going to me, maybe I'll flirt with a guy, or three, just to make him jealous."
"What happened?" Gabrielle asked.
"Draco found out, and he went mental," Daphne laughed. "He screamed, and shouted, honestly, he was just so judgmental."
"Is that what you said to him?" Hermione wanted to know.
"Yeah, and then he was going round like, 'off with her head!'"
"No!" Hermione gasped.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he meant it."
"What gave that away?" Pansy said hurtfully. "Him chasing you through 7 different countries with Diffindo on his lips?"
Daphne ignored her ex-friend. "I guess you could say I'm sorry. But then again, I'm not, so sorry not sorry," Daphne finished, stepping down from the stage and grabbing a glass of champagne. "Luna, you were next."
Luna nodded as she stood up. "Draco was a complicated person," she began. "He had a good heart, and I know he loved me, but the Nargles made him change a lot. He would either lift me high into the sky with the Heliopaths, or let me fall. But I stayed, and I promised that I would withstand any blaze he threw my way. Something inside just...solidified, and I knew I would always stay."
Pansy leant over to Gabrielle. "I don't think she understands the point of this," Pansy mock-whispered.
Luna ignored her. "Draco would build me up, and tear me down. He tried to break me, but failed. He tried his best, but I was unshakeable. He tried using fire, wind, and water, but all he got was stone. My heart of stone."
"Come on, Luna," Daphne called. "You had the perfect family. You gave Draco his son and heir!"
"You say we're a perfect family?" Luna questioned. "Draco held us close so that the world could see how perfect his life was. But without my son, his love for me would disappear. I know, it's not fair. I don't care, because my love for Draco will always be there. I know that soon I'll have to go, and that I'll never see my son grow. But I hope that he will know that he will never be alone, because I will always be by his side. My love is set in stone."
Hermione clapped loudly as Luna walked off the stage. "That was so sweet," she commented.
Gabrielle scoffed, standing up from her seat. "Well, we all know who didn't kill Draco," she commented loudly, making sure Luna heard her. The blonde just smiled serenely.
"So I was sitting on my throne, all alone," Gabrielle began, accompanied by elaborate hand motions. "You know, in the palace I just happened to own."
"How did that work out for you?" Ginny called spitefully.
Gabrielle scowled at her. "I was not your typical queen, I wasn't very prim, or proper. I wanted to go hunting, but there weren't any takers. I wasn't fake like some of you, I had my own riches. I would head out for a round of croquet, and the next day, I would just hit replay and have a repeat of the day before."
"Sounds terrible," Pansy said sarcastically. "Eating pheasant, sipping mead, wearing gold lace dresses…" she trailed off.
"But then...Draco said that I tricked him," Gabrielle continued. "Because I didn't look like the picture he was given. But I don't agree. I hung up my picture for everyone to see," she declared. "I'm the queen of the castle. Draco should just get down, because there's no way he could ever be above me."
Daphne snickered, hiding her face in her hands.
"You think that it's funny?" Gabrielle demanded. "Maybe you should try living my life. I couldn't go out to the dance floor without boys making advances on me. I cause sensations when I dance. I was the richest woman in England; I wore gold chains daily, but I still wasn't happy." the part-veela said. "Now, I'm not saying that I'm a gold digger. I signed a prenup and everything. That changed nothing though. Draco might have had his fun in the Ministry, but I was the real queen of the castle."
"You know, 'queen' actually describes Draco perfectly," Ginny mused.
"Beauty queen," Daphne agreed.
"Drama queen?" Hermione suggested, surprising herself that she had spoken up.
Pansy laughed. "The lion has shown her claws!"
Ginny scowled. "My turn," she said, brushing past Gabrielle roughly. "Everyone knows about Ginny Weasley, the only Weasley girl in 7 generations. Little Ginny," she mocked, "Can't fly, can't swim, can't do anything other than cook and sew. So it was no surprise when I was sent off to music lessons," Ginny paused. "Pansy, you were there."
"I was," Pansy agreed.
"There were a lot of young girl there," Ginny continued. "None could compare to me, though. And our teacher - Gilderoy Lockhart - he knew it too. Lockhart taught me all about dynamics. He was 23, and I was 13, you know, going on 30." She smirked. "We'd spend hours strumming the lute, striking the cords, blowing the flute. Things like that.
"And I thought, maybe this is it. He cares so much, it felt legit. We had a connection...except all he wanted to do was, well, I'm sure you can all guess."
Hermione looked confused. "Huh?" she asked, before Luna leaned over and whispered something into her ear. "Oh. Oh!"
"But then there was another guy. Severus Snape," Ginny said lightly. "Serious, stern and slow…"
"Eww, Ginny, we don't need to hear about you and Snape," Daphne made a face. "Just skip ahead."
"Fine," Ginny huffed. "So that didn't work out. I decided to have a break from boys, and you'll never guess who I met."
"Harry Potter," Pansy called sarcastically.
Ginny scowled at her. "Tall, blonde, Draco Malfoy. He made me a lady-in-waiting, hurled me and my family up in the world. And we all know my family!"
The girls all laughed.
"He gave me duties in court and would swear it's true, that without me he wouldn't know what he'd do. But then, he started saying all this stuff. He just cared so much, he called me love. He said we had this connection, and I guess it wasn't so different after all.
All he wanted to do was touch me and love me, seize me and squeeze me," Ginny said with a longing look on her face, as if lost in her memories. "So we got married. Yay."
"Karma," Gabrielle said satisfactorily.
"With Draco, it wasn't easy," Ginny continued. "His temper's short and his mates are sleazy. Well, except for this one courtier. He's a really nice guy, just so sincere. The royal life wasn't what I planned, but Theo was there to lend a helping hand. He was so sweet and made sure that I was okay, and we would hang out loads when the king was away. This guy was what I needed, the friend I needed. We were just mates, no chemistry between us. Or so I thought- I thought this time was different," Ginny insisted. "I guess it's not so different though. It's never, ever different. They'd bite my lip and pull my hair, and tell me I'm the fairest of the fair. But then playtime was over, and the only thing they wanted to do was," she shrugged, before blowing a kiss to the girls and stepping off the stage delicately.
"Well!" Hermione said brightly. "Tough act to follow, huh? Ok, no need to respond."
Hermione walked over to the stage and sat on the edge. "My best friend was Harry Potter," she began. "I loved him in every single way. But even though I loved him, I missed him every day. I wished that I could stay with him, and keep the life I made with him." Hermione sighed, tucking a curl behind her ear. "It's true, I'll never be over Harry. I build a whole future in my mind, for Merlin's sake! Even though I loved him, I had to tell him goodbye. I told him that I didn't need his love anymore, and left."
Pansy whistled. "Never knew you had it in you, Granger."
"I didn't have a choice," Hermione insisted. "With Draco, I stayed alive. He said "it's you", and it was me. I never had a choice. No matter how I felt, it was what I had to do. If I had that choice, do you know what I'd say to Draco?"
"Give me Hogwarts, a History!" Daphne mocked, a sneer on her face. "Ask for cuddles and teddy bears?"
Hermione ignored her. "I'd tell him, "Draco, it's true, I'll never belong to you. Because I am not your toy, to enjoy till there's something new. As if I'm gonna give up my boy, my work, my dreams to care for you, ha, darling, get a clue. There's nothing you can do, because I don't need your love,'" she paused, thinking about her words. "But I can't say that, not to the king. So it was goodbye. All my love, Mione."
"So I sent that letter to my love, got married to the king and became the one who survived. That's my life as the final wife," Hermione said, as if daring someone to challenge her. "Except there's so much more to me. Remember that I was a writer, I wrote-"
"Hogwarts, the Complete History," all five girls chorused.
Hermione blushed. "I wrote books and made spells and potions. I fought for house elf education, so all the elves could independently live. Heck, I even had a woman paint my picture! So why can't I tell that story? Because I'm fixed as one of six, and without it, I disappear. No matter that I'm called the 'Brightest Witch of her Age'. No matter that I helped defeat Voldemort, or everything after," Hermione ranted. "It might not be going down in history, but tonight, this is for me! I'm through! I'm taking back control, I don't need his love!" Hermione declared, breathing heavily.
"Wow, Granger," Pansy grinned. "That's some story."
Hermione turned red, but didn't waver. "Come on Parkinson, don't tell me that you didn't think like that at some point."
"True," Pansy mused. "Draco did get down on one knee for me, but I said no way. Packed my bags and moved in to Hogwarts to teach etiquette."
"Draco sent me a poem," Daphne chimed in. "All about loyalty to my house, Slytherin green, yadda yadda yadda. I changed a couple words, put it on a sick beat. Slytherin loved their new theme song, and next minute I was signed, teaching potions for McG."
"You can't call her that!" Hermione gasped, affronted at the insult to her beloved teacher.
Luna cleared her throat. "Since my first son, my family's grown. I married Rolf, and became quite well known. We found the Crumple Headed Snorkacks, oh I'm just kidding, I've decided to start teaching CoMC."
"It's a shame that my face, it cost me the crown," Gabrielle commented. "So I moved back to Beauxbatons in my hometown. The head was super haughty, but I showed her how to party, and now I'll be seeing you all at the Tri-Wizard Tournament in the fall."
Ginny cheered, sticking a fist in the air. "Different men tried it on, but I was like, 'bye', so I thought, 'who needs them?', I can give it a try. Now I teach flying, and I'll do that until I die."
Hermione paused, looking at each girl. "I heard about these rocking chicks," she began. "So I went out and found them, and realized that I don't need your love anymore. All I need is you guys!"
"Aww, Hermione," Luna cooed.
"And my job as Transfiguration teacher and Deputy Head," the girl added in classic Hermione fashion.
Everyone laughed and cheered.
They're one of a kind
No category
Too many years
Lost in his story
They're free to take their crowning glory
The redhead hummed quietly to herself as she snuck into Draco's bedroom, a broomstick in her hand. A wand appeared to curse the pillow, before the woman left, leaving no trace.
For five
"Bonne nuit, Draco," a blonde whispered as she palmed a small vial. With a crack the woman apparated away, leaving the vial in the hands of an eager house elf.
Four
Singing quietly, a blue eyed woman crept through the house, her wand flashing every few seconds. Each swish turned a different object into a touch activated Portkey - right into the hippogriff pen.
Three
Casting a flame-freezing charm on a portrait, a stunning blonde turned around and surveyed her former home for the last time. "Incendio."
Two
The brunette cackled to herself as she sealed the cursed letter. "99 more to go," she crowed, her golden crown almost falling off her head as she bent down to address the next one.
One more minute
The curly haired brunette silently made her way to her ex-husband's funeral, eating her first strawberry creme-filled chocolate in months. The 8-piece box was tossed in the garbage, six chocolate falling to the bottom.
Six