Disclaimer: I don't own Saint Seiya characters!

Heart and mind

It was almost midday in the Sanctuary, the trainees were studying hard how to fight and even two of them were waiting for their final test to gain their Cloths, but Kardia didn't care about it. He still was lying in his bed, in the small hut not so far away from the Coliseum, and even if the day was really nice and warm, he had no intention of moving.

It wasn't like his heart was giving him too much problems right now. He could hear firm, strong beating coming out of his chest, it wasn't burning like the old times – thanks to Degel he could overwhelm the fever and live more like he wanted. This time he had more worries with his mind and his thought were forcing him to stay in bed.

He still could remember how hard it was when there no one could find the cure for this curse he lived with. His heart was troublesome, killing him, even if long time ago he received some of Athena's blood to survive. Kardia was counting days to his end; it was closer and closer, pushing him to do many reckless things. Pushing him to live as much as he could, taking everything from the world. Laughing, running, smiling, living until his heart was beating, until he was alive. He knew he had not too much time, and he never prayed for longer life. He was only living to the fullest with everything he could have. He had no hope of miracle, he never expected any cure.

But it happened. Degel appeared in his short life, giving him another years of intense life. Giving him the chance of fighting, growing up, laughing and dying in the battle. The cold boy cured his heart, helping him in this pitiful life, giving him the hand when he needed it. It was miracle Kardia never believed to happen. It was the wonderful cure he was given. New life, new chance, new opportunities. Everything. He, of course, never would say it at loud, but he was grateful to Degel for being with him and giving his coldness. But deeply inside he was thanking the fate for bringing Degel into his short existence.

With a short moan he gasped his heart. He still could feel the hand of his friend, placed on this spot, cooling his heart. Degel was doing it at least once per week, just in the case. But this cold touch was still present, disturbing his mind. It made him to feel really lightly and he had no idea what did it meant. It was something new for him, something he never felt before. Or maybe felt, somewhere deeply inside his mind, but never was aware of its presence.

But everything change when Milo and Camus appeared at the boundary of the Sanctuary.

That day, when he saw these two making love inside this lonely hut… that day when he saw this pleasure, these deep, nice feelings on their faces… Everything changed. He still could see not Milo's and Camus' face but his own and Degel's one. He was seeing them in this erotic pose, moaning from the pleasure, and whispering the words of love.

It was frustrating him, because his heart tried to convince him it was right to see them that way. But he would never accept that just without anything. Heart, especially his won could be really treacherous.

What was love anyway? He always lived with anger, with frustration, with slight fear of being not able to live to the fullest. He was living fast; he was living the way he wanted. He was killing, he was laughing, and he joking. He liked to be sarcastic. He hated, he liked. But love…? Was here any place for love inside his weak, ill heart? Love meant ties with the person of affection. It meant the end of freedom, of the way he wanted to live. It meant responsibilities toward this person. He would have to care about this special one. He would be forbidden to die he wanted, to die in fighting.

He didn't even thought about loving someone. He knew how to respect. He knew how to be angry, how to be full of himself. How to desire. But he never even thought about loving someone. He feared that, just because it would mean the end of his fast life.

But… what if… What if it would be him?

He growled loudly. How he could think like that? How could it happen? They were fellows, yes, even friends. Without him he would be already dead. So, how it came to these feelings? Why, instead of Milo and Camus, he was seeing himself and Degel in the act of love? Degel was smart ass, someone out of his league. He was fighting with his brain, not heart; he was cold, gentle, intelligent and wise. He was calm to the point that sometimes Kardia wanted to tear his head off. He always used so complicated words, that even after these whole years he, Kardia couldn't spell them properly. He read so many books, he could read the stars.

What was he, Kardia? Wild beast, following his instincts. Following the desires of his heart. Being in rush, living fast. Fighting and getting a pure pleasure from striking. He was a monster, with blood on his hands. He never thought about the others, he would rather joke about them, than sit and talk like fellows could do. He and Degel belonged to two different worlds. They would never match.

So… why he felt so lightly in the presence of the Aquarius? Why it was so good to talk with him, to laugh with him? To feel his cool hand on the chest? Why he was thinking about him all the time? Why every time while looking at Camus he was seeing Degel? Why he wanted to touch these lips and find out if they were cold or warm?

With the moan of frustration he turned his side and hid his face into the pillow.

He… He didn't know anymore what to do. It was beyond his abilities of understanding. He felt like in the cage of his own thoughts and strange feelings and everything he wanted to do was escaping from it. He wanted to run away and stop to think about it. It didn't suit him – thinking. He was always following his desires… Not thinking…

So… Why his heart desired Degel…?

With a long sigh Degel left the Sacred Hills, wanting to take a long walk. He couldn't remember when his mind was troubled so much. Yes, when the stars were showing him something new, waiting for them in close future, he felt uneasy. But it couldn't be compared to the uneasiness he had in his heart right now. Sometimes he wasn't even able to sleep from the anxiety, cursing his thoughts for being so loud inside his head.

It started actually a few weeks ago, just after he saw Milo and Camus kissing inside this old hut. And he knew very well from where these uneasy thoughts came from.

It was his heart. His heart tried to tell him something really important. Every time he was seeing their guests from the future, every time he saw how warmly Milo looked at Camus, how his successor was returning this look, he was seeing himself and Kardia instead. Every single time. It was like looking into the mirror, their faces were almost the same and Degel just couldn't help that. His eyes were seeing them, him and Kardia.

For a long few days he didn't know what that was. Why he felt such an uneasy and relieve when Kardia was around. It was strange for him, since he always tried to throw away most of his emotions. He always tried to think not feel. It was easiest way to endure the hard life as a Saint of Athena. His heart was kept silent all the time.

So how it could be possible for his heart to take control over his mind so easily? Why it was Kardia and him, not Camus and Milo?

It was something new for him, these feelings were something he never expected to feel. He, always cold and distanced Saint, right now felt heat every time Kardia was around. He felt amazing every time his cool hand was touching the burning chest of the Scorpio, cooling gently the ill heart. He was almost trembling from these feelings he couldn't name just before their skins were linking. His heart was twitching at the voice of Kardia, he was ready to threw everything away and rush to his side at even small moan of pain. Degel couldn't understand this, it was something beyond his abilities of comprehending.

Of course he suspected what this state was called. Degel learned a lot of things from Milo and Camus and he could name all these strange feelings.

And it made him more confused. How in the hell he could feel something like that? He, the coldest Saint of Athena, keeping his cool no matter what. Insisting he was far beyond such a human's emotions. He was compassionate to others, he was kind. He could feel sorry for them and try to help them. Just like with Milo. He was really sad to see how mean Camus behaved sometimes, how much their bond faded away already. And it hurt him, because he knew he himself would never treat like that the special person to his heart. He could be cold to his fellows, but not for someone his heart chose as a special one. Just like he wasn't able to treat so coldly his friend, Kardia. Because Kardia was special for his heart…

Kardia…

His friend. Someone really important.

But was it possible that Kardia could become important so much? They were so different in living, so different in being the Saints of Athena. He was cool, mostly thinking than feeling, analyzing every situation in details, trying to find the best solution. Never fighting meaninglessly. Never being happy about killing an enemy. He was calm, loving peaceful evenings with the book, or with the telescope. He never was in a rush, his life was arranged. And Kardia… Kardia was always fast with everything, he had hot blood for every little thing. Of course Degel even liked these things in his friend, it was so unlike him that sometimes Degel loved to watch Kardia being in hurry, exploding with emotions almost every time, taking everything from his life. But Kardia was also really brutal. He enjoyed his every battle to the point Degel felt disgusted. The Scorpio loved to bath his Needle in the blood of his enemies and this desire to die, to fight a big battle with his life on the line… without the matter if it would help Lady Athena to win against Hades.

Kardia just loved the fight too much for such a calm person like Degel…

With a worried look on his face and really turbulent mind he entered the coliseum, where on the lowest seats, looking at the darkening sky he saw lonely silhouette with curls. He gulped, firstly taking this person for Kardia. He really didn't want to meet the Scorpio right now, with so troubled mind.

But after a while he saw the softer face, more curled hairs and these thoughtful eyes, so unexpected to see on Kardia's face.

Degel sighed and directed his steps, approaching slowly Milo, the Saint from the future.

Milo of the Scorpio. Saint who lived in the XX century and now was here, two hundred years earlier. This man was so similar to Kardia and at the same time so different. These two were born under the same stars, they should carry the same fate. Both of them were assassins. But… But Milo was softer, he seemed to not love fights like Kardia did. Well, putting aside that accident when these two Scorpions fought at the beginning, when Milo turned into the same beast like Kardia, the future Saint of the Eight Constellation was really peaceful. He wasn't enjoying his duties in the way as his ancestor. Blood, coming out of the enemy's body wasn't exciting him as much as Kardia.

Milo was the man that Degel wanted Kardia to act sometimes. Full of compassion, full of understanding. With soft heart, with many warm emotions. Valuing his life. Of course both of them, Kardia and Milo had different lives. Milo never suffered the pain of burning heart, so his point of the view was different. He had no need of living the fullest life.

But Milo seemed to be so kind and warm. He was attracting everyone, he could gain friends everywhere. Degel was attracted too in really strong way. Kardia had wild nature and didn't care about such a thing like friends. Yes, Degel was Kardia's friend; the Aquarius knew that very well, even if the Scorpio insisted they weren't and Degel was needed only to cure him. But Milo treated everyone like friends. Kardia lacked this. Even if he was hot headed, even if he wasn't as cold as the Eleventh Guardian… it was him, Degel, who had more friends…

He wished Kardia was like Milo. Not in everything, Kardia was special with the way he was dealing with life. But he could be like Milo towards the fights. Calm, not enjoying it. Fulfilling his orders for Athena. Not rushing for his own death with almost every fight. He could be less wild…

Degel stopped in the front of Milo, noticing a few empty bottles of the wine, abandoned on the ground. He frowned, surprised. He never saw Milo drinking, he thought the future Scorpio didn't like such a enjoinment.

But he could understand why Milo was drinking right now. His problems with Camus were bigger with every day. Milo as really compassionate man had really sensitive soul and everything could hurt him deeply. It was enough to want to sink into the oblivion even for a few short hours.

He smiled with worry, wondering how he could help his new friend.