Oh, my goodness! Has it really been that long since I last updated this story? I hope that there are still some readers with me. I revised all chapters and corrected some significant mistakes. Perhaps I'll repeat some topics in this chapter, though.

Anyway, I hope you guys like this update and share your thoughts with me.

See ya soon,

T73.

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A little time had passed and the whole situation had calmed down a little.

Yes, Jane and Maura had even managed to re-establish a closer relationship with their long-lost daughter, but the two older women had also realized that it would never be the same again like the relationship they had before Liz left Boston in the dead of the night without leaving a single note.

Jane could understand in a certain way why her only daughter had simply disappeared to protect her family.

The former detective would probably have done the same but it wouldn't have taken her five years to reappear out of nowhere.

„Jane, what's going on in the head of yours," Maura wanted to know while she was packing a moving box.

The brunette straightened up and frowned deeply. „I just wonder why you volunteered us to get the rest of Liz' stuff from San Diego."

Maura also frowned and bit her lip which caused Jane to quirk an eyebrow.

„Spit it, woman!"

Maura rolled her eyes and straightened up, too. „I just wanted Elizabeth and Adam to reconnect."

„I think they've reconnected several times since Liz is back," Jane grumbled and went back to pack the books in the bookshelf. She flinched when something hit her back and she turned to her wife just to see that the blonde scowled at her. „Ow!" In fact, the scatter cushion hadn't caused her any pain. „That wasn't very nice of you."

„Don't be pathetic!"

„Excuse me," Jane replied and rolled dramatically her shoulders.

Maura grinned broadly and took a deep breath.

The brunette lifted the heavy box and carried it to those who were already standing at the front door, groaning. „I can't understand why our daughter still has so many things in California."

Maura took a deep breath and tugged a strand of hair behind her ear. „How long did you keep your apartment after we got together?"

„That was different?"

„Why?"

Jane went to the fridge and hoped she'd find some cool water in it. „Because ... Because I didn't know if you'd go back to Ben after he begged you doing so on his knees." She knew that it was a really lame excuse. She rolled her eyes and growled low. „Yeah, I know that leaving an apartment empty for more than half a year wasn't exactly my best idea, but I had my reasons. What if you and I wouldn't have worked out?" She tugged in her chin and lowered her brows. „I had those thoughts then. And why am I -" She stopped abruptly and her left hand flew to her left hip out of sheer habit as she heard someone shoving a key into the door lock. Even Maura was immediately on high alert and walked several steps towards her wife.

The door opened and a tall dark-haired man entered the apartment. He stopped dead the moment he spotted the two women. „Who are you and what are you doing in this apartment?"

Jane frowned and pointed at the blonde. „We are the parents of the owner and we get her things to Boston. And who the hell are you?"

Suddenly the mood in the room changed completely and the stranger approached the former detective with a broad smile, reaching out his hand. „My name is Eduardo Russo, the owner's boyfriend. I'm happy to finally meet you, Liz has talked a lot about you two."

Maura gasped in horror but shook Russo' hand without saying a word. It didn't matter how shocked she was at the woman, she hadn't forgotten her good manners.

Jane, on the other hand, shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans and furrowed her brows. „Your Liz' boyfriend?"

He dropped his hand and cleared his throat. „Yes, Ma'am."

Jane scoffed and looked dark at her wife. „I wonder what Adam's gonna say about that."

Maura closed her eyes slowly and sighed heavily.

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Liz had to grin widely when Zane climbed on her lap and showed her proudly the picture that he had painted in the last hour. It showed the boy, Adam and her when they had been in the park today.

She ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek with a loud smack.

He giggled and leaned against her. „Will you now stay with us, Mama?"

Liz furrowed her brows and held her breath for a second. She wondered how he had come up with the idea that she'd leave her family again.

She wrapped her arms tightly around him and kissed the top of his head. „Yes, baby. I'm gonna stay with you. I will never leave you again. I promise you."

The boy turned a little so he could glance at her insistently. „Did you miss me?"

Liz smiled sadly and nodded slowly. „Every single second of the day when I couldn't be with you. Zane. I ... I thought about you when I woke up and you were the last thought when I went to bed. I missed you so much, honey."

Zane looked long at her before he straightened up a little and wrapped his little arms around her neck. „I missed you too, Mama."

The young woman closed her eyes briefly and had to suppress her tears, but then she felt the presence of another person and looked into the eyes of her husband.

Adam took a deep breath and glanced at his watch. „The plane in which your parents are lands in an hour. I can pick them up alone at the airport."

She furrowed her brows and mouthed, „Thank you." She looked at her son with a smile but frowned. „How about we go and get some ice cream?"

Zane beamed and nodded enthusiastically.

Liz put him down on the floor and nodded once. „Go and put on your shoes and bring me your jacket."

The boy took off without warning and almost ran into his father.

Liz rolled her eyes but laughed as she slowly stood up and walked towards Adam.

Adam smiled but there was a certain sadness in his blue eyes. „Zane asked for you every day."

The young woman pressed her lips together and sighed. „What did you tell him?"

He sighed loudly and set his jaw for a moment. „That you'll come home when the time is right."

Liz closed the distance and wrapped her arms around the tall detective. She placed her ear over his heart and listened to his steady heartbeat, the heartbeat she had missed all these years. „I'm so sorry, Adam," she whispered emphatically and closed her eyes. „I can understand it when you despise me or think that I'm an ice-cold bitch. Sometimes I think that about myself."

„I don't despise you and I don't think you're a cold bitch either, otherwise I wouldn't be here with you. I wouldn't have gotten involved with you again, Liz. But I have to admit -" He trailed off and she glanced up. „But I have to admit that I'm scared of you breaking my heart again and that you disappear. After you were gone without leaving a message I wondered over and over again what I'd done wrong and at some point, I started to believe that I would never see you alive again. I thought that some morgue would call me some time to get me there to identify your body. This thought kept me awake every night, I couldn't sleep because I was waiting for this call."

„I'm so sorry," she whispered once more in a husky voice and frowned.

He nodded slowly and took a deep breath as he trailed her face with his fingers. „I know."

Adam lowered his head and kissed his wife long.

„Yuck," someone suddenly said.

Liz broke the kiss and smirked before turning her head to her son. „Ready to go?"

Zane nodded and went with his jacket with his mother. „Yep."

The young father rolled his eyes and shook his head. „Shall I drop you guys off somewhere?"

Liz helped her son into the jacket and glanced at with furrowed brows. „Nah, I'm borrowing Ma's car."

The detective blinked several times and frowned. „Jane will be thrilled."

„I know," the young woman laughed and shrugged amused.

Adam scoffed and followed her and Zane toward the front door.

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„I'm not sure it was right that we told Adam about Eduardo," Maura stated and folded the blanket back.

Jane's face was unreadable and wiggled her brows. „And I would've found it wrong if we hadn't told Adam about the guy in San Diego. What if this Russo would suddenly show up in Boston and smother Liz with kisses? Would you like it if a woman from my past suddenly shows up and kiss me right in front of you?"

Maura stopped dead and frowned. „There are no women from your past I don't know about."

„Exactly!"

„What if this was the straw to break the camel's back?"

Jane pulled her tank top over her head and sighed. „You know I love our daughter idolatrously and that I would never sabotage any of her relationships."

„Oh? What about Hanley?"

„Hanley's a psychopath, Maura. I sensed from the beginning that something was wrong with him."

„And Adam? Why did you freak out when Liz told us that she was dating the new detective?"

The Italian opened her mouth but closed it again a second later. She frowned and searched for a good answer. „I did not freak out, I wasn't excited that she was dating another colleague. And besides, Adam hasn't turned out to be a cop killer, has he?"

Maura scoffed and lay down on her side of the bed. „And what if she's only committed to him because of Zane?"

Jane was about to turn off her bedside lamp and stopped dead. „Why would you say that?"

Maura sighed heavily and turned her head to her wife. „There are couples who are falling out of love over time, Jane."

Jane slipped underneath the blanket and frowns. „Yes, I know. My parents were the perfect example. Is there anything you're trying to tell me, Maura?"

Maura chuckled and skidded closer to her wife. „You know that I love you, and only you, 'til death, do us part,"

Jane smirked broadly and kissed the blonde tenderly. „I know. I love you too, Maura."

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Adam was lying on his side of the bed and stared at Liz with a deep frown, his arms pressed tightly to his sides so he wouldn't reach out. „Who's Eduardo Russo?"

Liz stared back at him and didn't move a bit. „He was the one who was supposed to recruit me for the FBI after the agency contacted Winters."

„What does he mean to you?"

„Nothing."

„That's why introduced himself to your mothers as your boyfriend?"

„Adam, it's complicated," the young woman whispered back.

He shook his head and set his jaw. „No, it's not."

Liz licked her lips and inhaled deeply. „He was a ... distraction back in San Diego."

„You lived together," the detective wanted to know, and Liz closed her eyes briefly.

„Yes."

He took a brief moment and still stared at her. „You lived together. Why did you lie to me when I asked you if have been with someone else?"

She shook her head and shrugged with a painful smile on her lips. „Would you have reacted differently?"

He swallowed down his upcoming anger. „Don't dodge my question, Elizabeth."

She licked her lips once more and sighed. „Because I didn't want to hurt you any more than you already are."

His facial muscles twitched with anger. „So you'd rather lie to me instead of telling me that you fucked your FBI recruiter?"

Liz exhaled shakily. „I am so sorry, Adam."

Adam closed his eyes with furled brows. „Stop saying that you're sorry."

She wanted to reach out but instead, she skidded closer to the hurt man. „I ... I never stopped loving you, Adam, but when I lived in San Diego ... I didn't feel the same for Russo as I do for you. You have to believe me."

„But you liked him?"

„It was just sex," she replied and swallowed hard as her husband stopped breathing. „I never told Russo that I'd like him or that I'd love him. Hell, I haven't even said his first name. Russo had lived an hour and a half from his office and I didn't want to be alone anymore, so I suggested that he stay with me for some time."

„So you got the rent in kind?"

Liz sighed again and nodded slowly. „Kinda."

Adam snorted and his face darkened. „Great." He paused and pressed his lips together. „Right now, I wish I could hate you."

She opened her mouth but closed it immediately again, instead of saying something she reached out and ran her fingers over the still visible scar on Adam's chest. „I still remember that day," she whispered and knew that she was changing the subject, he didn't move. „I thought I'd lose you and I knew that moment that I would never survive that. That's why I thought about breaking up with you would be the best solution, for both of us. And I was hoping that we could be friends after our ... wounds have healed."

„We've been friends," Adam whispered back and smiled a little.

The young brunette smiled broadly. „More or less!"

„What do you mean?"

„Every time we ran into each other in our favorite pub, I was thinking about kissing you."

Adam finally grinned broadly. „So you were stalking me?"

Liz really laughed for the first time. „It was the favorite pub of both of us. There was hardly a cop who didn't went there, remember?"

„Right," he chuckled. „I picked you up there."

„You tried because you lost a bet back then. Your friends wanted you to hook me up but you were too much of a gentleman."

„Remember?"

„Of course I remember. That's why I fell in love with you, Adam. Because you never lied to me or pushed me. On the contrary, I still remember when you brought me home after our first date and turned me down although I wanted you to come into my apartment after we made out in the hallway."

Adam laughed briefly and placed his hand on her hip to pull her closer. „Yeah, it was a pretty tough call, though, but I knew immediately that you are special."

Liz ran her hand through his short hair and looked him deep in the eye. „You're the one who's special, Adam. You always took me back no matter what I did to you," she smiled as he pulls her even closer. „And back in time I always thought I wasn't made for marriage, but after meeting you I knew that I wanted to grow old with you. When I had to leave you and Zane, apart of me died, Adam. I ... I couldn't leave you a note because I knew that you'd be looking for me as soon as you read it, that you'd have the whole BPD looking out for me -" she trailed off and frowned. „Please say something."

He looked at her long and shook his head. „No matter what I got to know today, I still can't believe that you are really here and that I am the lucky one to call you my wife."

Liz smiled relieved. „I couldn't wait to see you again." She tugged on one of his gray hair. „Even though I didn't think I'd see you again when you are white."

Adam laughed warmly and suddenly he hoovered his wife.

She laughed herself and ran her hand over his bare shoulder, knowing that some habits would never change.

They both got serious when Liz pulled his head down and gave him no other choice but to kiss her.

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Jane burst into Adam's kitchen the next morning and was about to shout out for her daughter, but then the older Italian stopped when she spotted Liz standing in the kitchen. „Good morning?"

Liz had a neutral expression while stirring eggs in a metal bowl. „Hey."

Jane paused when she saw the serious face of her daughter when she entered the room. The older brunette cleared her throat and sat down at the counter. „You're making breakfast?"

Liz looked down at the bowl while beating the eggs with a whisk. „Apparently." She didn't stop but set her jaw. „Why did you and Mom tell Adam about Eduardo Russo?"

„Why didn't you tell your husband about your former lover?"

„Because currently, I'm trying to fix my family. A former lover doesn't help very much."

„Oh," Jane laughed sarcastically. „You're trying to fix your family now? After you let them down for years? Do you really think that everything will be fine again after a few months? Do you really think that they'll forget the past?"

Liz stopped the beating and looked seriously at her mother. „Is there something you wanna say, Mother?"

Jane lowered her brows and resisted the urge to slap her daughter. „I've wanted to tell you some things for some time, kid!"

„Go ahead!"

Jane shifted on her chair and furrowed her brows. „Are you aware of what your family went through when you disappeared without a trace? I'm not just talking about Adam and Zane, I'm talking about your mother and me, too. We're your family. Too. Liz. We barely slept because we were looking for you, and then you reappeared as a murder suspect." She stood up again and walked around the counter. „When I heard that you were taken to hospital after your arrest I almost had to chain your mother to the heater because she wanted to go there and finally see you again. I had to convince her that I first wanted to make sure that you were fine under these circumstances. I was beyond relieved that your Mom didn't come with me because you were strapped to your hospital bed and drugged. It was bad enough Adam and I had to see you in that state."

Liz looked seriously at her mother and placed the bowl on the counter. „Adam was the reason I got arrested in the first place."

The older Italian scoffed and furrowed her brows. „Adam was just doing his job that day, so you can't blame him for that, Liz. And he was the one hadn't doubt your innocence for a sec. He was the one who asked your Mom and me to help him take the heat off you." She stepped closer to her daughter and glanced insistently at her. „So, instead blaming him for arresting you all over again, you should thank him for not giving you up and for trying to clear your name. In trying to rehabilitate you, he put his reputation and his career at risk."

Liz pressed her lips together and avoided eye contact with Jane. She was fully aware of what her parents and husband had done for her to clear her name.

She had also decided not to approach her husband anymore for having done his job and arresting her, she now knew the evidence.

If she'd have been in his shoes, she'd also arrest the suspect and most likely wouldn't have been convinced that the person had a memory loss and about their innocence.

The young woman crossed her arms over her chest with a frown and chewed on the inside of her cheek.

She had blamed herself every day after she disappeared in Boston that she has gotten involved in such an operation. She had blamed herself every day for not talking to Adam or her parents that the San Diego police got in touch with her because they wanted her to mingle with their people to eradicate the black sheep.

She blamed herself because she had to tear down her whole life that she'd built up with Adam with one blow. At that time she had also been aware of what she would do to her family with her disappearance and yet she had accepted the job.

Today she couldn't say what made her decide to leave her whole life in Boston behind.

Sure, she hated dirty cops, but that couldn't have been her motive because in her hometown were more than enough of them, too.

On some days in San Diego, she even asked herself if she had enough of the daily life in Boston and wanted to escape it with the undercover operation. She could never really answer that question. „I know there are no words for what I did to you," the young woman whispered all of a sudden without looking at Jane and swallowing hard. „And I know that I can't pretend that none of this ever happened. I can't undo the last few years, Ma, as much as I want to. Unfortunately, I can't turn back time. I wish I could have attended Zane's birthdays I've missed, and yours and Mom's. I -" She gasped and glanced at the ceiling. „We all missed so many precious moments with each other, moments which are lost forever."

Jane took a deep breath and nodded slowly. What moments are we actually talking about?"

Liz took the bowl back into her hands, smirked and wiggled her brows.

„You don't have kids in San Diego with this Russo, do you?"

„Actually three."

The former detective started swaying and she braced herself on the counter. „What," she breathed.

Liz grunted and started to smirk broadly. „It was just a joke, Ma. I actually learned what contraceptives are about."

Jane huffed, grabbed a nearby dishtowel and throw it at her daughter. „Oh, you! Now I really wish I could go back in time when you were still a sweet little innocent girl and teach you what protection is about properly."

The young woman laughed heartily and shrugged. „I guess then you'd miss your grandson."

Jane sighed loudly and finally poured herself a cup of coffee with a smile. Yes, her daughter was right. She'd really miss her only grandson. But then she turned serious again. „I'm serious, Liz. Do you and this Russo have -"

„Kids?" The young woman cut her mother off and frowned. „Do you really think I would withhold you and Mom my children?"

The former detective opened her mouth but closed it again immediately.

The young woman recognized the hesitation and shook her head. „No, Russo and have no kids. The only child I have is Zane and he's Adam's son."

„You sure?"

Liz' mouth dropped open and she glanced shocked at her mother. „Excuse me?"

Jane sighed loudly and waved her statement off with her hand. „Forget it, I didn't mean it like that."

„Yes," the younger woman growled low and looked long at Jane. „Yes, Ma, you meant what you just said."

Jane licked her lips and paused. She had told herself not to pick up a fight with her daughter, especially she had the tendency to run away when problems occurred. „Just ... forget what I said."

Liz wiped angrily her hands in the towel her mother had thrown at her and threw it on the counter. „No, I won't," she replied sharply and it was more than obvious that she had to suppress the urge not to yell. „I've made really unforgivable mistakes in the past and I can understand why every one of you alludes to them over and over again. That's okay with me, I can live with that. But don't you dare insinuate that I plant a mailman's child on my husband. When I got pregnant with Zane, I did not sleep with anyone else but Adam, Ma. Not even he doubts that he's Zane's father. And even if he would, I wouldn't hesitate to get a paternity test done." She was about to continue her rant but stopped when she heard footsteps coming from the stairs and took a deep breath as soon as her son wobbled into the kitchen with sleepy eyes, rubbing them and Puck hot on his heels.

Jane dropped her gaze to her lap and ran her fingers tiredly over her brows. She didn't really know why she brought that topic up at all. She was beyond tired and a little overwhelmed by the news that her daughter had an impulsive life in San Diego and an affair with a FED while her family in Boston thought she was dead.

Puck looked at the young Italian and immediately started wagging his tail as she scooped Zane up.

He automatically wrapped his arms and legs around her and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

The young woman raised her brows with a smile as he muttered something, went to the cupboard to take out a breakfast bowl, got the box of his favorite cereals and fetched milk from the fridge.

She frowned as she glanced down at the items and furrowed her brows the way Jane used to. „Honey, I need to put you down if you wanna have breakfast."

The boy whimpered, clung even more to his mother and shook his head.

Liz sighed heavily. „Okay, we can figure this out."

Jane was about to get up and to give Liz a hand. „I'll help you."

„No," Liz said emphatically and glared at her, and Jane froze immediately. „Thanks, but I got this."

Jane wanted to reply that Liz shouldn't be ridiculous and that it wouldn't be bad too as for help, but she kept her mouth shut and sat down again. She knew very well that this would have been more than inappropriate after her accusation.

„Let Jane help if she want to," Adam grumbled as he also entered the kitchen and stretched with a yawn.

Jane saw the dark look of her daughter and shook her head. „No, it's all right. I was about to leave anyway. I just wanted to check if everything was fine." She cleared her throat when he kissed her daughter.

Zane groaned loudly and buried his even deeper in his mother's neck.

Adam blinked a few times and frowned. „Good morning to you too, buddy."

Jane smirked and took a deep breath. „I should go now before Maura starts wondering where I am."

He glanced at her skeptically. „You won't stay for breakfast?"

She gave him a faint smile. „Another time."

Adam looked down at the younger brunette and shrugged. „All right."

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Leslie sat in a conference room of the homicide unit and stared at the screen of her laptop while typing something. „I've been monitoring Ben Payton's electronic activities for the past few weeks."

Adam ran his hand over his three-day beard. „I assume we don't have a warrant for this."

Liz had her arms crossed over her chest and glanced at him with a frown. „Um -"

„I take that as a no."

She raised her shoulders and licked her lips. „Do you think we could have gotten a warrant for this?" She paused and pointed at the device. „Adam the man was a prosecutor in Boston for years. He'd managed to make us look like a bunch of paranoid morons. If Ben Payton has nothing to do with all of this we'll let him off the hook again."

„We'll have to do that," the redhead said, gritting her teeth.

„What," Liz asked in a high-pitched voice and turned to her. „Why?"

Leslie leaned back in her chair and raised her shoulders. „Because I couldn't find anything unusual on his laptop, Liz. Just the usual correspondence, appointments, stuff like that."

„Payton isn't stupid enough to plan something like this with his computer, let alone coordinating it," Adam grumbled and looked at his wife. „If he's in this, he either uses a second laptop or he handles it the good old way."

Liz closed her eyes and ran her hand over her forehead. Not because she didn't come up with ideas on how to proceed but because a stabbing pain was slowly spreading behind her eyes.

Although she was declared healthy by her doctors, she had to keep regular appointments due to her head injury. That was the prerequisite for her release.

In the beginning, she had really adhered to this prerequisite and had gone to each of her appointments only to hear that there weren't any changes that would affect her daily life. That's why at some point she didn't go to her doctors anymore only to be told that here injuries healed nicely. Many times she thought that she was no medical miracle because she only had a pretty bad concussion.

She made a face with a new wave of pain. „Which would mean he gives his henchmen verbal instructions. Which means we'd have to sneak someone in to prove Ben's a criminal mastermind."

„That's out of question," Adam suddenly said rigorously.

Leslie turned surprised in her chair. She'd known for some years now and had never heard such determination in his voice.

Liz straightened up again and tried not to frown. „What do you mean?"

„You're not going into Payton's office as a stool-pigeon. He knows you, and he's probably responsible for the target on your back. So no, you're not going to sacrifice yourself for the greater good!"

The brunette blinked several times and smiled wryly with a nod. „Okay."

Adam exhaled loudly. „Okay."

She turned on her heels. „Wasn't going to do that anyway," she stated and left the conference room.

Leslie chuckled and Adam dropped his chin to his chest.

„She still has to have the last word," the redhead stated.

„What makes you think so?" He grumbled and smirked at her.

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Liz was standing in front of the sink in the restroom and splashed cold water in her face, hoping that it would soothe the pain behind her eyes.

She straightened up when she heard the door open and was about to give the entering officer a warm smile, but that smile dropped when she saw her husband entering and locking the door.

She furled her brows but didn't move, instead, she braced herself on the sink. A strangely familiar feeling spread in the pit of her stomach. Not the feeling of anticipation but of soon being pushed by this man. The same feeling she got when Hanley locked rooms in this building. At that time, she thought that it was the feeling of arousal, today she knew that it was nothing else but discomfort „I think you got lost, Laverty," she tried to say calmly. „This is the ladies' room."

Adam gave her a faint smile and shoved his hands in the pockets of his suit pants as he strolled towards her. He stood behind her, but not too close to make her uncomfortable, and scrutinized her reflection vividly.

He'd already noticed a few days ago that Liz was paler than usual, but he blamed it on the current stress level. He became weary when he saw her trying to hide her pain from Leslie and him in the conference room. „What's the matter, Elizabeth?"

Liz blinked several times and chuckled amusedly. „I had to pee. I didn't know that I have to tell you that."

He rolled his eyes with a smile but then he inhaled deeply, stepping a little closer to her. „I was talking about the fact that you're in pain and that you're trying to hide it. So, what's the matter."

She turned serious again and glanced at them both in the mirror. „It's nothing."

„Stop lying to me, Liz."

She closed her mouth and swallowed hard, shrugging. „It's just a headache. Maybe I caught a cold or flu."

He gently touched her forehead to check if she was burning up, a touch he had acquired in recent years.

Liz groaned and leaned her head back against his chest. „Your hands are so cold. That feels so good."

He grinned and whispered in her ear, „And I thought you were going to say that they are talented."

Her eyes snapped open and she turned her head a little with an amused smile. „That is very inappropriate, Detective."

He smirked broadly. „But oh so true."

She paused and then nodded approvingly with a shrug. „Yeah," she reluctantly admitted.

Adam turned her to him and frowned. „You certainly don't have a fever."

„Thank you, Doctor Laverty," Liz replied and punched his shoulder.

Adam gasped in surprise and chuckled.

Liz picked her phone out of her pocket when it started vibrating. She inhaled deeply as she glanced at its display, went to the door and unlocked it again. „Duty calls, come on."

Adam followed her and nearly knocked an astonished female officer over when he emerged from the room. He hesitated. „I ... we ... Never mind!"