Author's note: Last chapter! Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me. Enjoy!

Chapter 42

July 4, 1994

Alexei had resigned himself to spending most of the night on the bathroom floor. He'd managed to look a bit less sick than he felt long enough to fool Joyce, so she'd take Lily to the fun fair. A part of him had wanted Joyce's hand rubbing his back as he retched over and over, but between his illness and Lily's therapy appointments, there'd been precious little fun in the Medvedev household. They both deserved one night without worries.

And he hated for Joyce to see him like this, too tired to do anything more than sleep and try to hold down a little bit of nutrition. Not that she ever showed that it bothered her. She'd do everything he couldn't do when he was riding out these days after a treatment, then step back and give him some little chores so he wouldn't feel completely useless between cycles of chemotherapy. And she would still cuddle against him in bed, even when he felt utterly repulsive – bald, weak and constantly spewing disgusting fluids. Lonnie Byers must have been one healthy son of a bitch, because if he'd ever gotten sick, he would have realized what he'd had and never would have let go.

He was still on the floor when Joyce and Lily came back. He groaned a bit and tried to force himself to stand, but his leg wouldn't cooperate. He'd been too weak to do much physical therapy, and beating the cancer had to take precedence. He sunk down and just focused on trying to look as together as he could, there on the floor.

Joyce took one look in the bathroom and bundled Lily off to bed, so he couldn't have succeeded. Then she came in, bearing Slurpees, and sat beside him on the floor. "You need to hydrate," she said. Even something as good as cherry syrup on ice didn't sound appetizing, but of course she was right, and he didn't want to cause her more trouble. He drank it without complaining while she told him about how Lily had loved the Ferris wheel and bumper cars.

"We ran into Steve and Conner," she said. "Steve asked me to invite you to go to the gym with him and Darren next Wednesday, if you're not too sick."

Alexei groaned. He'd never been one for exercise, even when he was at the peak of health.

"Steve's been helping Darren with his physical therapy, and thought you might benefit too," she said. "I think it's mostly a way for dads who are dealing with the same thing to hang out. You could probably just sit there, if you want."

She was right, he decided after she'd shooed him out the door on Wednesday. Darren was practicing movements, but mostly they all just talked about the crazy things their kids were doing. Conner was accidentally projecting thoughts to the world, and while they were a little embarrassing, it was better than the static when he was overwhelmed. And so far, no one had connected the odd things that popped into their heads to the little boy.

"Lily's finally starting to sleep viddout us staying in de room," Alexei said. "I dink in vone vay her gift is helping. She knows it von't happen again."

"Have you asked her about-" Darren trailed off, and Alexei wasn't sure if he'd forgotten a word or couldn't find a sensitive way to phrase it.

"No, but she drew a picture vid all of us by de Christmas tree," he said. "I had hair."

"That's good news," Steve said.

"Yeah, you can't pull off the shaved head," Darren said.

"Says de man who's using five-pound veights," Alexei shot back, though he knew he couldn't lift anything heavier. Darren flipped him off, but he smiled while doing it.

"How am I the adult in this room?" Steve wondered.

Because you're not having to deal with the fear that you might never be the same man you were, Alexei thought. But that was too much honesty for that moment. He and Darren just flipped Steve off in unison. Steve rolled his eyes. If this was going to the gym, he'd keep it up, Alexei decided.

September 1994

The lab wasn't yet running again, which Alexei had expected. For a man who seemed to have no illusions about anything else, Ricci was an eternal optimist about how long getting approvals might take.

With Lily back in school, and Joyce at work, he'd had a great deal of time to think, especially on days like this when he was waiting beside the phone for news about his blood work. Once, he'd driven by the local cemetery, not really knowing what he hoped to see. Other times, he thought about what he'd leave behind if the next blood test brought bad news. As a young man, he'd imagined his name in textbooks for his research, with the caption, "Hero of Soviet Science." Now, his previous work was thoroughly classified, and no one had any interest in converting nuclear waste into energy. The name Alexei Medvedev would soon be forgotten, but it didn't bother him. Even when he was forgotten, he liked to think the best parts of himself would remain in Lily.

The phone rang. He picked up and listened. "No more treatment? All right. Dank you."

He glanced at the clock. There was an hour before he needed to pick up Lily and Manny. He suddenly felt that he couldn't sit around the house any longer, grabbed his car keys, and let whims guide his turns. Soon, he was down the road from the old mall, close enough to see it, but not to draw attention from the government types burying the entrance shaft in concrete, so no one else could hatch any schemes down there.

It was a little less than a decade ago that he'd been hustled down that shaft under cover of night, trying to get a glimpse of the stars, maybe for the last time in this life. He was lost in remembering and jumped when Hopper tapped on his passenger window. Alexei unlocked the door and Hopper got in.

"Mourning your old stomping grounds?" Hopper taunted.

"No," Alexei sighed. "Do you ever feel like dere's a part of your life – you know it vas you, it vas your life – but you're not de same man you vere den?"

Hopper considered a moment, which was unusual. Alexei had expected him to just throw some barb at him and move on. "Yes," he finally decided. "I think I know that feeling."

"You dink it's over now? Ve can be someding like normal?"

"Who knows. They've got Eight in custody and they're searching for all the others, to make sure they don't get the same idea. But you and Joyce do seem to be magnets for trouble." Hopper coughed. "Congratulations on finally tricking her into marrying you, by the way."

"Dank you. How is El?"

"Really, Smirnoff? I give you an olive branch-"

"Vat, are you not talking again?"

"Joyce didn't tell you?"

"Joyce doesn't tell me anyding you tell her. I don't ask."

"I'm going to be a grandpa. That little bastard Mike-"

"It's her life, Hopper."

"Yeah, that's what Joyce said."

"It's true. You can't make udder people's decisions for dem."

"Yeah, what if some little shit knocks up your daughter?"

"My daughter's six."

"Yeah, well." Hopper didn't have an answer for that. He sat a moment, like he was wrestling with his pride. What, did he need someone to calculate the area of his den so he could buy carpet? Alexei couldn't imagine what else he would ask him for. "How much do you know about that lady agent, what's her name?"

It was obvious Hopper knew what her name was, and suddenly it made sense. "Tanya. Short for Tatiana."

"Yeah, her."

"Not much. Vat do you vant to know?"

"Would you trust her?"

"Me? No, but everyvone says I'm paranoid. De Soviet vay."

"That's not helpful."

"Fine." He sighed and searched for the right words. "Seven years ago? In Russia? No. But here and now? Yes."

"What's the difference? Either you can trust a person or you can't."

"You and I aren't de only people who can change a lot, Hopper. De only vay to survive in de KGB vas to be de vorst version of you. Here, you can make a different choice. I don't know vat all she vill choose, but I do dink she deserves a chance to try to be better." He glanced at the clock. "I have to be going. Food for dought, yes?"

"Yeah, you've been real helpful, Smirnoff."

He thought it over as he drove, and decided there were worst matches in the world. In spite of himself, he liked the idea of those two finding some happiness.

Lily and Manny were going on about dinosaurs when he loaded them into the car, and he let them go. It was good to see them acting like normal kids, or as close to normal as they would ever be, given that Manny was levitating the Oreos out of the snack bag and helping himself.

Joyce and Rosario were going over their pre-Halloween orders when he got there, but stopped to give their kids a hug and tell them not to destroy anything. "How are you?" Joyce whispered after they'd run to play in the back.

"Better," Alexei said. "Dey called about de last blood draw. No more chemo for a vile."

"It's in remission?"

"Dey dink so."

"Oh, thank God." She kissed him. "Well, now you've got no excuse not to help me put some things on the top shelves."

He laughed and kissed her back, and went to look for the items she was too short to place, dodging the toys Manny had sent flying around the store. He looked over at Lily, who was laughing with sheer joy, and Joyce, in her element and lovely without realizing it. He didn't need glory. Everything he needed was right in front of him.

Dec. 24, 1994

Parts of the lab were finally open, and Alexei and Darren were back at work. They'd quietly claimed one of the bigger offices, so they could work together. Neither of them wanted to admit they were still feeling fuzzy mentally, and it was easier to keep up appearances if each could check the other's work.

Someone else had been assigned to work Christmas Eve, though, and Alexei was glad for it. His hair was starting to grow back and he'd regained some of the weight he'd lost when he couldn't eat, but he still tired easily. And lately, Lily had been running him into the ground, with ideas of things they could do to make Christmas "super-duper special." He went along with it, as far as his body would allow. She deserved something good this year, even if the last thing he wanted to do was try to make a gingerbread house stand up.

Will and Evan were back from California, just in time to help him manhandle a tree onto the top of the station wagon. Lily was running around underfoot, convinced she was helping, and then got the idea they need to buy candy canes to leave on the tree for Santa.

"Ve have candy canes at home," Alexei sighed, as his arms burned from trying to move the tree.

"But if we leave those for Santa, I won't have any."

The logic was unassailable, so he made a detour to the grocery store, then to the liquor store, because Will had finally confessed about the vodka bottle and wanted to make amends. By the time they got the tree up and decorated, Alexei wanted to drop over and not move until New Year's.

"Maybe you should lie down," Evan said. "We can keep the little one busy for a while."

"I'm not little!" Lily protested.

"Okay, fine, you're not little. Want to draw Christmas cards?"

"Dank you," Alexei whispered, and he was asleep as soon as he hit the bed. When he woke, Joyce was putting on makeup and fixing her hair, which was a bit unusual for an evening at home. She had on a bright red sweater which he hadn't seen before.

"You look like a Christmas present," he said.

"Are you saying you want to unwrap me?"

He blushed. "Is dere time?"

"Not unless you want to trust Will with making dinner. And believe me, you don't." He remembered Will's attempts at cooking in the aftermath of Lily's birth. He'd never known anyone who could mess up boxed macaroni and cheese, but Will had managed it.

"Maybe Evan and Nancy vill help?" he ventured.

"No sign of Nancy and Jonathan yet."

It wasn't that far from Michigan. They should have been there by now, even if they'd slept in. But Joyce didn't look worried – a bit odd – so he didn't say anything to suggest she should be. She tossed him a dark green sweater. "I thought it would be fun if we all wore something a little festive," she said. He didn't argue, and got dressed.

Even though Joyce wasn't worried, he was starting to feel a bit apprehensive as the evening shadows lengthened. If they'd hit bad weather and had to pull over, wouldn't they have called? But Lily didn't give him too much time to think, because she was demanding to know where Santa was now, and he couldn't resist sneaking in a lesson about time zones. His best guess was somewhere over Europe – Santa had certainly finished Russia already, he told her.

Joyce had everything simmering to keep it warm when the doorbell finally rang. "Can you get that?" she yelled at him. He opened the door, and there were Jonathan, Nancy and – his mother. They just stared at each other for a moment while he tried to process, then she buried him in kisses. "And where is my granddaughter?"

Lily was behind his legs, peeking out. His mother swept her up and nearly crushed her in embraces. "So pretty a girl, yes?"

"Like her mama," Alexei said. He looked back toward the kitchen, and there was Joyce, grinning. "How did you-"

"Everybody helped keep you too busy to think," she said, then went to shake hands with her mother-in-law, who pulled her into a hug instead. "Dobry vecher."

"And you learned Russian too?"

"I learned how to say 'Good evening.' You'll have to do the rest."

They all crammed around the table and caught up as best they could. His father had died almost a year before, and while his mother left it unsaid, he knew he was still a traitor in his father's eyes, even then. Andrei had somehow landed on his feet – he always did – and had moved on to his third wife. Alexei didn't even try to explain how he'd met Joyce, and skipped to the part where he rented space on the couch. And Lily wanted to know what kind of toys they had in Russia, what cookies did they leave for Santa Claus, why did it take Grandma so long to visit – the list was truly endless.

After dinner, his mother let Lily show off her dolls, and Alexei could imagine her thought process: he must have become fantastically wealthy, to afford a house and all these things. Well, if it made her proud, that was fine. It was a chore getting Lily to bed, but when they finally did, his mother was quick to turn in too. Joyce had a bed made up for her, and Alexei wondered just how much he'd overlooked in the past few days.

After they'd placed the presents and drunk up the milk, Alexei and Joyce settled into bed. "You are de best vife," he said.

"Don't you forget it," she teased.

"I von't," he said, and pulled her closer. Truly, he had everything he could possibly want. And it occurred to him that the luckiest thing that had ever happened to him was when he'd been chosen to fix that generator all those years ago.