Zoran seemed to find himself in the Dream yet again, still distraught by the events that had transpired in Annalise's throne room only moments ago. Not even bothering to place his armour in the Workshop's storage or to restock on essential supplies, he quickly began to make his way to the various tombstones lining its entrance, desperate to leave this forsaken plane.
He passed by the Doll, which stood in the same place he had found it, waiting to welcome him home. But all Zoran was willing to do by then was to briefly glance in her direction, before turning his head just as quickly to continue his trek. He was still uncertain on whether the Doll was able to comprehend emotion, but he noted what seemed like concern in her eyes. He knew she meant well, but after everything that had happened, she only seemed to remind him of what he could not have.
Finally reaching the tombstone, he knelt down before it and focused his attention on the lantern in the Grand Cathedral, so as to avoid being subject to the sight of Oedon Chapel after the events that transpired there.
"Good Hunter. What is it that troubles you?"
Zoran furrowed his brow as he heard the Doll's voice ring out beside him, which was the last thing he wanted to hear at that moment. This wasn't real. None of this was.
"Just go away..." He practically ordered, his words laced with contempt.
"But I..." As she attempted to argue, he shot to his feet and spun to face her, his eyes red and distraught.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He shouted at her, causing the Doll to recoil at the severity of his words. After a brief moment, she turned to walk away, allowing Zoran to turn his attention back to the headstone and begin to transport himself to the Cathedral.
But he found that his thoughts no longer seemed to reach it. And so, he tried to focus on the Great Bridge. And the Tomb of Oedon. And the Cathedral Ward. He found himself unable to transport himself to any of them.
Except for Central Yharnam.
Hoping to get to the bottom of this mystery, Zoran faded away into the dream's ethereal grasp and found himself back at the location where his journey had truly begun. And immediately saw the body of the first Yharnamite he had met in his travels.
He vividly remembered Gilbert's pained pleads to the Gods above as his sickness continued to consume his body. Concern for the man's well-being had willed Zoran to return here, only to find himself under attack by a beast, who he slew without a second thought. It was only after it had collapsed to the ground when Zoran noticed the window through which he had spoken to Gilbert had been ripped apart from the inside and he found himself horrified when he realized what he had just done. And suddenly Djura's words began to make sense.
But he noticed something else very close to Gilbert's body, which upon closer inspection, he recognized as a note. Desperate for answers, he read the message sprawled on the small slip of paper.
"you've come to the right place. let us cleanse these tarnished streets."
Zoran looked up from the message to see that a trail of shining coins led down into the left-hand path and through the dimly lit structure that led to the Great Bridge. As he followed the trail, he couldn't help but notice that the numerous infected Yharnamites that usually blocked his path now lay dead. The trail lead to the window where he had talked to Gascoigne's daughter, the lamp inside having long ago gone out. He had left the little ribbon he had found in the sewers below as a memorial of sorts, but he noticed that it had gone missing. And that another note lay just below the windowsill.
"take a step forward and remember the lost."
Confused by the request, Zoran stepped towards the edge; trying to spot what the person who left the note wanted him to see. His eyes eventually wandered downwards and the sight below caused his eyes to widen in shock. A small figure, laying in a pool of blood. Hurrying down the ladder, he ran to it and immediately deduced its identity.
It was the older sister. She had returned home and found the small ribbon he had left on the windowsill. Overcome with grief, she must have thrown herself over the side. And now the entire family was gone.
The tragedy just never seemed to end.
After taking a moment to regain his composure, he descended down into the aqueduct. Following the trail of coins down to the ladder that took him back up to the Cathedral Ward, he continued to follow it across the bridge and into the ruins of the Tomb of Oedon, the unfortunate final resting place of Father Gascoigne.
Zoran realized quickly that the lantern in the area had been destroyed and that another note had been left by it's remains.
"nothing but blood-addled hunters here. pitiful, really"
Zoran begun to feel unnerved by the messages. Whoever was leaving them was obviously trying to send a message, but who it was and what they were trying to accomplish remained a mystery. Seeing no other option, he continued to follow the trail of coins until it brought him to the ladder that led to the basement of Oedon Chapel. Understandably hesitant to enter, Zoran noticed yet another message lying on a nearby chair.
"safe place waits ahead."
He felt a sudden surge of dread, realizing that whoever was leaving these messages knew of what had happened in that Chapel. And he couldn't help but feel he was being watched.
Darting up the ladder, he ran into the interior of what he once considered a safe haven and was forced to lay witness to the long-cold bodies of the people he sent there. The lantern there had also been destroyed and yet another message lay in the middle of the chapel.
"you're in the know, right? it is all thanks to you."
Zoran eyes darted around the cathedral, an unmistakable fear gripping him. Unable to handle it's sight any longer, he rushed outside and prostrated himself on the pavement, the guilt he felt for the massacre return with a vengeance. All he wanted was to help them. He never meant for this to happen!
After regaining some semblance of control, he noticed the trail of coins yet again, this time leading up the stairwell to the Grand Cathedral. The bodies of the church servants lined the steps as Zoran began his trek up the vast quantity of stairs, willing himself to continue on despite the dread he now felt. The trail seemed to end at the entrance to the cathedral, where another note awaited him.
"do not forget. A hunter should hunt beasts."
No…..
Every one of his senses told him to turn and flee, but Zoran forced himself forward, still hoping that he was wrong about the identity of his tormentor. Sensing he was now at the point of no return, Zoran ran up the stairs towards the interior of the cathedral, fully expecting the one who has been leaving these messages to await him. But all he saw when he made it to the top was an empty room, with nothing but a broken lantern in the centre. Confusion overtaking him, Zoran made his way to the broken lamp, desperate to find answers. And discovered one final note.
"leave the hunting of hunters to me."
He heard a faint sound coming from behind him. As if someone were flipping a coin.
Fear caused him to freeze in place, realizing that whoever was behind him was the one who had organized this. And he knew exactly who it was. Finally gaining enough courage to slowly turn himself around, Zoran laid his eyes on the architect of this dark trip down memory lane.
"Eileen?"
The crow-feather garbed Hunter of Hunters stood at the entrance to the Cathedral, her expressionless plague-mask pointed directly at the one she had spurred on in the early hours of the hunt. He had not seen her since they had slain Henryk together after his ascension to the Ward, after which she had seemingly disappeared into the night. But clearly, she was still out on the prowl.
And she had a new mark.
"Don't you ever listen to your elders?" She questioned him in a disappointed tone.
The shock had not yet subsided, preventing Zoran from offering a response.
"I warned you, didn't I? To try and keep your hands clean. But you're knee deep in it now, aren't you, you sorry drunk?" She paused then, staring the hunter down before asking a single question.
"How many?" Zoran immediately understood what she was here for.
"You don't understand. I didn't…"
"HOW MANY!" She shouted across the desolate cathedral, causing Zoran to back away in fear. Still, he did not provide an answer.
"I suppose it isn't your fault. Few hunters can resist the intoxication of the hunt. Look at you, just the same as all the rest. The hunt makes hunters mad and I'm the only one who can stop this madness." Eileen slowly began to walk towards Zoran, her cloak flowing behind her as she pulled out the signature weapon of a hunter of hunters.
"I didn't want it to come to this, but I cannot allow you to abscond your crimes." She said as she split the weapon in two.
"Your punishment is death."
Zoran began to realize the desperate situation he found himself in. He had left his axe behind in the Workshop storage before he had traveled to meet Alfred in the throne room and he was dangerously low on vials from all the previous battles he had fought. The only thing he had on him was his flintlock pistol, five bullets and an array of small projectiles. But even if he fell here, he could always come back…
The lanterns! She had destroyed them to prevent him from waking up again. There was no escape. He had only one chance to make it out of this alive.
Eileen was upon him soon after, swiping at the hunter with her dual blades, which Zoran managed to narrowly evade. Dashing backwards, Zoran pulled out a tiny canister and drained it dry just as Eileen thrust forward with both of her blades, which bounced harmlessly of his body. Utilizing the brief breach in her defenses, he pulled out a poison-laced dagger and tossed it in her direction, though she evaded it with little effort.
As Zoran felt the effects of the lead elixir wear off, he fired off a shot from his pistol, hoping to hit her as she was stationary. But Eileen clearly foresaw this and dashed forward, slicing across Zoran's chest with both blades. Zoran stumbled back from the blow, throwing a small Molotov cocktail behind him. He knew it wouldn't hit her, but he knew it would put some distance between them. He just needed some time to…
A glass object shattered against his back and a thick mist quickly enveloped him, his life essence seemingly going numb. Though he was disorientated from the sudden obstruction, Zoran immediately recognized the substance, for he had used it numerous times in his time in Cainhurst's service. And he knew what it signified. The healing blood was now useless.
As he desperately reached for his pistol, he felt a sudden searing pain in his left shoulder, which was then followed by several more all across his torso. Casting his gaze downwards, he saw that several serrated blades had been embedded in his chest. As his body was plagued with excruciating pain, he collapsed to his knees, the effects of the mist leaving him too weak to reach for a vial.
There was little chance Eileen's possession of it was coincidental. It was all part of her elaborate hunt.
"Why did you do it? Why couldn't you have just killed me?" Zoran questioned the huntress through labored breaths.
"You lost your chance for mercy the moment you became one of Cainhurst's lapdogs. You forsook the Hunter's oath. Harvested the blood of dozens of your fellows. It's only fair you meet the same fate your victims did." Eileen explained coldly, before dashing towards him with an unnatural speed and impaling him through the stomach with her blade.
"Besides, without fear in our hearts, we're no better than the beasts themselves." She said before kicking him to the ground.
As Zoran lay there in a pool of his own blood, he felt like this was exactly what he deserved. So much suffering had transpired in his wake, so many had perished by his hand. And now he was on death's door, about to be executed by the only friend he had left.
His friend. He did consider her to be his friend. But after what she had done to him, how she forced him to relive all those terrible memories, how could he still view her as such? She betrayed him. Just like all the rest.
"No more dreams for you." Eileen said as she pressed her boot against his neck and pointed her pistol at him.
He felt something else overtake him then, something that he had kept bottled up for the entirety of the Hunt.
Rage.
Zoran let out a blood curdling scream, the intensity of which sent Eileen flying backwards. He slowly rose to his feet, growling aggressively as his eyes were set on the Crowfeather garbed Hunter. Using whatever sense of self he had left, he pulled out an item that had been prohibited by the Healing Church and popped the pellet into his mouth, before letting out yet another yell as both of his hands transformed into beastly claws.
Eileen had managed to get back up, looking on at the display before her.
"Have you got a screw loose? Or is this just your survival instinct?"
Urged on by a mixture of anger and desperation, he charged towards her with reckless abandon, barely reacting to the numerous wounds on his body. Launching himself forward, he propelled himself in Eileen's direction, who just managed to evade the attack. But before she could react, he slashed her across the chest and then slashed her again. And again. And again. And again. And with every strike, their effects seem to grow more pronounced.
"Your blood is mine! A hunter's blood for me!" Zoran yelled at the top of his lungs, having lost all sense of self-control.
By the end of his rampage, Eileen lay battered and broken against the altar of the First Vicar, drawing in labored breaths as a now hunched over Zoran continued to approach her, no longer in control of his actions. The beast hood had begun to consume him.
"We're you not once a hunter? Is this sincerely what you want?" Eileen suddenly blurted out, causing the Hunter to stop his advance. Her blade tumbled out of her hands as the hunter of hunters clutched her numerous wounds, drawing in several desperate breaths.
"You can't go on like this..."
The effects of the pellet began to wear off and the claws soon reverted back to their natural state, all while he stared at the Crow's broken body, horror gripping him when he realized what he had just done.
He stumbled over to where Eileen lay motionlessly, barely making it over to her before collapsing by her side, who did not even shift in response. He frantically tried to shake her awake, quietly uttering her name as he did. But he soon realized he was in denial.
He had lost control. She was dead. Everyone was dead.
For reasons he did not understand, he reached for her mask; slowly peeling it away to reveal her…
"Zo..ran. H…help…me…"
He scrambled backwards in terror as he realized that it was not Eileen that lay before him now, but rather the body of his dear sister Olena; her mangled upper half laying in a heap as blood pooled around her. And he now had her blood on his hands.
A breeze suddenly brushed across his face and a revolting smell overtook his senses. His head shooting from side to side, he quickly recognized he was no longer in the Cathedral, but in a desolate, burning village. The first thing he noticed was an impoverished man crawling towards him, looking up with unbridled terror in his eyes.
"Run…if you value…your life. The Cossacks…are coming…" He weakly warned before collapsing to the ground, his back riddled with numerous gunshot wounds.
Zoran could only look on in horror at the scene before him, certain that he was now in one of dozens of villages he and his comrades had laid siege to in the Tsar's name; its victims forgotten as they prepared for their next campaign. He couldn't look away as he stared at the burning and looted houses and the corpses of the people they had murdered in cold blood. And despite how vivid this recreation was, Zoran came to a startling realization.
He didn't even remember what it was called.
"I had hoped you learned from what happened here, my boy."
Zoran's eyes shot open as an all too familiar voice came from behind him. This couldn't be real.
Slowly turning his head so he could look behind him, he saw his father; wearing his full uniform as he gently held Olena's mangled corpse in his arms, his light-brown horse standing just off to his side.
"When I sent you away, I held on to the hope that you would abandon this life; that you would start anew and forego the call of duty. To live out the rest of your days a free man, as a proper Cossack should. That… was my last wish." He said as he began to lower his daughter to the ground.
"But for better or worse, one thing you were never good at was following orders." He said as he finally looked in his direction. As his father spoke, a clear and obvious undertone was present in his words.
One of disappointment.
"Father, I…I didn't…"
"Yes, I'm sure. Yet, it seems, no matter how much you deny it, you will always be little more then an attack dog; leaping back into the fray at the first smell of blood." He said to silence him, climbing atop his horse and staring down his son with a look of regret.
"You…you don't…" Zoran struggled to form his words, as desperate as he was to prevent was about to happen.
"I wish it weren't so…" As he said this, he brandished his saber.
"But I'm putting you down."
With that, he charged towards him, holding the reigns of his steed with one hand and his sabre with the other. Breaking out of his stupor, Zoran scrambled to the side to avoid the incoming beast and continued to run as his father turned around and fired off several shots from his pistol as he circled around and resumed his charge.
Plucking an abandoned saber from the ground, Zoran stood his ground against the incoming threat; blocking his fathers attempted strike and pulling out his own pistol to try and fire at the horse; only to interrupted as a stinging pain ran across his back. Recovering just in time to avoid being trampled underneath the horse's hooves, he watched as his father charged towards him yet again; waiting for him to get close enough…
The horse cried out in pain as he managed to hit it with a bullet and tumbled to the ground, casing his father to fall of his saddle and land hard on the ground. Despite the clear opportunity it presented, Zoran could not bring himself to take advantage of his weakness, only being able to watch as he rose to his feet and once again brandished his saber.
His hat had been knocked off from his fall, revealing a single long lock of hair on an otherwise cleanly shaved head; proof of his long-time service to the Host.
"Just as I taught you..."
Zoran prepared himself as his father rushed towards him, remembering that even in his later years, he was not an opponent to be trifled with. They proceeded to trade blows, skillfully deflecting and responding to each other's attacks; but through it all, he recognized just how much his father had been holding back during their training.
"Father, stop! I don't want to do this! Please!" He pleaded with him as they found themselves at a standstill, until his father broke it by purposefully pulling back and letting him tumble forward. Before he could recover, he felt the pain ring up his back yet again, dropping him to his knees before it connected once more.
By the time it stopped, Zoran was prostrating himself on the ground, his back racked with pain as his eyes glazed with tears. Forcing himself to look back, he saw that his father was holding a leather whip in his hand, one that was used for spurring horses.
And flogging those who did harm to their fellow Cossacks.
"Life is about hard choices, Zoran. I told you that once, didn't I?"
Zoran weakly rose up so he was on his knees, but did no rise any further. He was not prepared to fight anymore.
"Do it…"
As he knelt in the dirt, he could hear his father approach from behind, his saber hovering by the side of his neck. But he didn't pay it any attention. He just closed his eyes and waited for the strike to connect. For this nightmare to finally be over.
A noise came from his left, but it wasn't the sound of a blade cutting through the air. Instead, he opened his eyes and found that his father's saber was imbedded in the ground, as he stood with his back turned to him just a few steps away.
"Such a miserable display." He grumbled, any sense of affection absent from his voice.
"Father, please, I…" He began to plead, his voice hoarse and desperate.
"You are no son of mine."
Zoran was shocked into silence, his father's statement cutting deeper then any blade could ever hope to. As he knelt on the ground in stunned silence, he could scarcely make out the sound of his father walking away, not even sparing a glance at him.
"Nothing but a waste of skin after all…"
After the sound of his footsteps faded, Zoran prostrated himself in the dirt, weakly weeping as the crackling sound of the flames continued behind him.
"Maledictus."
"You plague-ridden rat!"
""You are not wanted here!"
"Hah hah hah... A night of curses, a night to remember! Wouldn't you say, friend?"
"Inficimur"
"Beasts all over the shop. You'll be one of them, sooner or later."
"Thank you, mister hunter! I love you almost as much as mum and dad!"
"Just go away, now! I can't stand the stench of your lyin' breath."
""Oh, how did we ever get into this mess?"
"Oh hello. You weren't lying. This is a safe place."
"Mater's sanguine. Redemptionis risa se. Exiet exiet, flebatur a salis"
"Why... me... why...Dear gods, what have I done? Save me, please... Save me..."
"In the name of the Healing Church, cleanse us of this horrible dream…"
""I only wanted to help… Just once in my life… I should've known, I should've… Gods, please, I'm sorry, so sorry…"
"Vale, vale"
"Unclean wench! Wile Monstrosity! Bloody fool!"
"Oh Amygdala, have mercy on the poor bastard."
"An unsightly beast…a great terror looms…"
"Drip drop…slip slop…"
"It's you.. you're the beast…"
"Oh, you are a sick puppy! You drink the blood of half the town, and now this! And you talk of beasts? You hunters are the real killers!"
"Oh majestic. A hunter is a hunter even in a dream."
The voices seemed to overlap as Zoran desperately clutched his head. All the while, he could hear that infernal chanting that seemed to radiate in Yahar-gul, which seemed to be getting closer with each passing moment, just as the voices began to blur together in an incomprehensible mess.
"Stop it. Stop it. Get out of my head. LEAVE ME ALONE!"
He looked in the direction of a bright light shining down on him, revealing a blood-red moon that seemed to be on a collision course with the town he was in.
"SANGUINE! SANGUINE!"
The chanting was all Zoran could hear now, seemingly unable to look away from the impending object. And at the centre, he could see the outline of something else. Something otherworldly.
"Zoran. Zoran." He could faintly make out another voice in the back of his mind, but his attention was fixed on the moon, which was now so large it seemed to eclipse the entire sky.
"ZORAN, WAKE UP!"
….
He woke with a start, his heart racing, his breath heavy and his skin coated in sweat. Shooting upwards into a sitting position, his eyes darted around in terror; only to find he was lying in bed. No hunters, no beasts, no eldritch abominations, no blood moon. Just another decrepit, empty tower in an uncaring world.
He was alone. They were all gone now. And it was all his fault.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He begged for forgiveness despite knowing that no one was there to listen. Everyone was dead. Yharnam was done for. And now he could never sleep in peace again.
"Somebody…help me. Free me from this forsaken dream, before I go mad." His pleading was met with silence. "Anybody? Please…?" He began to sob again, suddenly feeling more useless then ever before.
"Zoran?"
His eyes flew open when he heard the familiar voice, surprised that someone else seemed to be here with him. He slowly turned his head in the direction he had heard it from and even with the intense panic that gripped him then, it was lessened slightly when he saw who the voice belonged to.
"Maria?"
She was by his side, her body completely bare as her usually constrained white hair flowed freely over her shoulders; the sight of her taking his breath away. He remembered then. The night of passion that they had spent together, culminating in them falling asleep in each other's arms. It had seemed almost like a dream.
Not yet certain if he was awake, he slowly reached out his hand, not breaking her concerned gaze for a moment. He gently placed it on her cheek, her skin just as soft as he had remembered; though he fully expected her to fade away into nothing right and there. But instead, she placed her hand on top of his, her lips forming into a small smile as she did so.
"Hello, good hunter."
There was such warmth in her gaze, a look that had completely entranced him the night before as they consummated their union. But it wasn't just a mindless affair, it had been something far greater. He wanted to please her, to show her just how much she truly mattered to him. And it was clear to him throughout that the same objective was on her mind as well.
But in the last few moments of their intercourse, she dropped any and all pretenses; breathlessly declaring her love for him as they unraveled.
His mind suddenly hearkened back to something Ludwig had said to him before he died, something he had payed little mind to until that point. How he had seen a thread of light, such a fleeting thing in the grand scheme of things. But he clung to it, for it allowed him to see the moonlight, even in the darkest of nights.
Until even that was extinguished.
He pulled her into an embrace, desperately holding on to her as the panic he felt before returned in full force.
"I could hear them. So many voices. All snuffed out because of me." He began to break down, the terror he felt from his nightmare having not yet subsided.
"Shhhhhh. It's alright. It was only a dream." She said while gently returning his embrace, no doubt trying to calm him down. But her words had little effect. The only words that resonated then were the ones the wicked apparition of his late father had spewed at him.
"I'm a failure."
"Don't say that…" Maria seemed to grip him tighter then.
"I failed my compatriots. I failed my family. I failed the people of Yharnam. Gilbert, Gascoigne, Eileen, Alfred. I failed them all." Zoran exclaimed as his eyes welled with tears.
"The cycle just keeps repeating itself. I try to make things right and people end up dying. Again, and again. It never ends." Zoran had completely broken down at this point, burying his head in Maria's shoulder as he continued to hold on to her.
"I don't want to fail you too, Maria. Don't leave me…please..."
All of a sudden, he felt his frayed nerves begin to relax themselves. The ringing within his head slowly dissipated and his erratic breathing slowed, and Zoran soon found himself struggling to keep his eyes open. But through all this, he felt Maria tighten her hold on him.
And then he heard her voice again.
"You don't deserve this. You don't deserve to fear closing your eyes. You don't deserve to be trapped in this nightmare. You don't deserve any of this!"
His arms fell limply to his side, and he soon felt himself being gently lowered onto the bed. But before his consciousness faded away yet again, he managed to catch a fleeting outline of Maria's face as she looked down at him.
"I need you…"
….
Zoran woke up again several hours later, finding himself struck by a splitting headache. He couldn't remember what it was that caused it, but he waited for the pain to subside before he attempted to sit up. Though his vision was a bit blurred, he immediately recognized that he was still in the room where he and Maria had…
"You're awake."
He looked to his side to find Maria sitting fully clothed by the bedside. How long had she been there, he wondered? And what had spurred her awake so much earlier than him?
"I would say good morning, but at this point I doubt it will ever come." He said in a humorous tone, though Maria did not seem to react to Zoran's words, appearing to be lost in her thoughts.
"Is something wrong?" He asked in concern and even then, she did not respond to his question for a few seconds. Rising to her feet, she looked down at him with an unexpectedly solemn expression.
"Get dressed and come to the gardens. We need to talk." She instructed before she turned to exit the room.
Taking a moment to ponder what it was that troubled her, he looked around the room to see that the only clothing he had to put on then was the armour he had worn during his service to Cainhurst. Not keen on the idea of putting it on again, he knelt down on the floor and whispering a small message, waited for his messengers to deliver him the garb that Maria had gifted him, which had been left behind in the Workshop's storage.
Getting dressed, he made his way towards the gardens; a sense of dread following him throughout. What could she possibly want to talk to him about? Had he overstepped his bounds the night before? Or was it possible that she was…No, how could that be? She couldn't possibly still be fertile in her current state. Could she?
Casting this thought to the back of his mind, he continued his journey; entering the gardens and almost immediately spotting her leaning against one of the railings, looking out into the distant recesses of the Nightmare.
"Well? What is it we needed to talk about?" His demand was met with silence and his concern grew. "Maria?" He tried to get her attention, but she still appeared withdrawn.
"Listen, if you have regrets, there's no need to hide them. I understand that…" He began, believing he had found the source of her unease.
"No, it's nothing like that. I just…need a little air, is all." Maria finally found her tongue, but he could somehow tell she was evading the reason she had summoned him here.
"You don't need to hide anything from me. Tell me what's on your mind." A tense silence fell between the two until Maria seemingly mustered the courage to look at him, the hunter immediately noticing the saddened expression on her face.
"Zoran, I… We can't do this anymore." She finally said, struggling to get the words out. Zoran backed away from her slightly and looked at her in shock, not wanting to believe what he had just heard.
"But you said...I thought that…" He struggled to formulate a response.
"This has gone on for far too long. We have both forgotten the original purpose for our agreement." She tried to explain.
"But…but I…." He began, but Maria rose from her position by the railing and interrupted him.
"No, you don't! You don't love me; you love an idea. An idealized portrait of me that you painted in your mind. And I understand. You were alone and needed an outlet for your repressed feelings; feelings that you projected onto me. But this…this isn't love. I don't know what it is." He was stunned into silence, his heart sinking into his stomach. But soon, this boiled into frustration that after all this time; she would choose to dictate how he should feel.
"And what about you, then?"
This question seemed to push Maria into a corner, struggling to form a retort.
"It doesn't matter what I feel for you…" She said, her voice low and laced with regret.
"Does it? Then what do you have to say about your actions and words over the past few days? Was all of that just a lie?" He demanded in indignation, leaving her horrified by the conclusion he'd reached.
"No, of course not. I would never…" She tried to explain herself, before he decided to interject once again.
"So, the both of us made a mistake. Is that what you're trying to tell me?" He continued his interrogation, but it seemed that Maria's own patience was wearing thin.
"I made a mistake by letting you get to close. Whether I like it or not, I was responsible for you; responsible for ensuring the boundaries we set were respected." She told him, though this only stoked his anger with her further.
"I am not your patient!" He asserted; his hands clenched into fists.
"But you were vulnerable! We both were! And somewhere down the road I forgot that, desperate as I was to feel something again. I longed for someone, anyone, to break that horrid feeling of loneliness that has gripped me for so long. I never meant for this to go beyond our first meeting, but I couldn't go back to that same bloody cycle that has befallen us. I didn't want to be alone again." Maria's voice seemed to falter at several points, but the impact of her words was just as strong.
"But I realize now that maintaining bonds in the lives we lead is impossible, for they always seem to end in betrayal and death. There is no happiness to be found here; especially for people like us."
Even as Maria concluded her monologue, Zoran found himself unable to accept the possibility that all this was a mistake. That their entire relationship up until this point had been built on false foundations. Why else would he feel the way he did now?
"The only times I've felt true happiness was when I was with you." Zoran admitted with a slightly lowered head.
"Whatever it is you feel for me, Zoran, it isn't real. None of this is. We were both desperate for interaction and we lost sight of who we truly are." Maria said, attempting to stifle the conversation, which caused Zoran to snap at her.
"I know exactly what I am! I have lost everything to this Godforsaken city; my family, my honor, even my own bloodline! I know that if you hadn't spared me, I would have ended up drunk with blood; wallowing in madness in this accursed nightmare, if I was lucky enough not to have lost myself to beast hood. I am only here now because of you, Maria. And that is not a lie."
She stared at him, clearly wanting to argue but also struggling to find the words to respond with. After a while, she turned her gaze away from him, seemingly struggling to hold back tears.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" He attempted to apologize before Maria interrupted him.
"No. No, this is all my fault. I shouldn't have led you on like this. We shouldn't even be having this conversation." She leaned against the railing, trying her hardest to keep her composure.
"Maria, if all this was nothing but another mistake, then for once in my life, I'm glad to have been a fool." He joined her at the railing as he said this.
"These meetings, they've given me something to look forward to. Somewhere to escape from the madness consuming every inch of Yharnam and beyond. I felt like I found someone who I could be honest with, someone who truly understands me. I..." He trailed of, struggling to find the proper words.
"I don't want to lose that. To lose you. It's all I have left." Silence settled over the gardens as the two of them gazed into the distance, both of them trying to make sense of the situation they found themselves in.
"I meant what I said." Maria suddenly broke the silence.
"What?" Zoran asked, not entirely sure what she was referring to.
"That I don't regret our fellowship. That I'm proud of you." She turned to face him; a sad, but genuine smile on her face.
"That I love you."
Zoran felt a brief flicker of hope, making it seem like he had a chance to stop her from going forward with this. But this almost immediately died when he saw the guilt-ridden expression that replaced her welcoming smile.
"But you've been misled far too many times. Hundreds, if not thousand have already paid the price for my selfish inaction. And I cannot allow that same fate to befall you. You deserve so much more then what has been given to you." His heart seemed to hammer against his chest as he realized what she meant.
"And you will never find it here. Not with me..."
Zoran felt that familiar feeling of hopelessness return as he struggled to come to terms with her statement. This couldn't be happening.
"No. No, no, Maria, I won't. You can't…"
Before he could finish, Maria wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him into another kiss, the intensity of which sent him into a brief daze. Despite this, he soon found himself holding the side of her head returning the kiss with equal vigor. His mind seemed to go blank, unable to process anything but the slight breeze that blew through the gardens as he savored every passionate moment.
As this happened, he felt her hand grasp his free one and place something in his grip, instinctively closing his fist around it and allowing her to place his hand against his chest. She then reluctantly broke their kiss and simply looked into his eyes, still holding his hand. There it was again. That same feeling he had felt after she had taken of his mask. After their dance. During their passionate exchange just the night before. Except now it seemed even stronger, because he now found himself longing for all those moments they had shared together. She seemed so close to him now and yet so very far away.
Maria held his gaze for only a few moments before she hung her head, her face contorting in apparent guilt.
"This cannot happen." She told him unequivocally.
"But Maria, I…" He tried to argue with her, but she pulled herself away from him, her eyes forced shut in what looked like an attempt to stop her from crying.
"You need to leave." She reluctantly stated.
"Please. Don't do this." Zoran attempted to protest, despite knowing it was fruitless.
"The next time we meet, it will be as adversaries."
As he stood there in complete shock, his throat constricting and his eyes brimming with tears, she did not move from her spot; appearing as if she was waiting for something. Looking down at his hand, he apprehensively unclenched his fist to see what she had given him. And when he saw it, his breath caught in his throat.
Her pendant. That emerald green brooch that she had worn on her collar. Having been so occupied with attempting to stop her from abandoning him, he hadn't noticed that she wasn't wearing it anymore. That simple, seemingly meaningless trinket that had cemented the union of her parents and one that she was meant to pass on to one she cherished above all else.
And she had passed it on to him.
Looking back up, he noticed that she had already begun her walk back towards the Clocktower, leaving Zoran feeling as if his feet were frozen to the ground. The one sliver of light on this long, dark road he had walked now seemed faint, and was in danger of being snuffed out. Everything he had cared about had been stolen from him already. He couldn't lose her too. Not like this.
He began to desperately chase after her, but she was already a few steps away from the top of the stairwell when he began to catch up.
"Maria, wait!" He cried out desperately.
"Goodbye, Zoran." She said with her back turned to him, not heeding his words. Managing to reach the top of the stairwell, he saw that she was just about to enter the Clocktower.
"I love you..."
This caused Maria to stop dead in her tracks, her back still turned. After several moments, she turned her neck ever so slightly, looking at Zoran out of the corner of her eye.
"I know."
He called out her name one more time as she disappeared into the Clocktower, leaving Zoran alone once again.
….
As she entered the Clocktower, something within Maria forced her to turn around, hoping to catch one more fleeting glance at the hunter; only to find her view obstructed by a thick fog that now blocked the entrance. It had seemingly vanished after her first session with Zoran, though at the time she did not pay it much attention. But now that it had returned, she knew exactly what it signified. The next time they met, one of them had to die.
She made her way back to her chair at the other end of the room, it's burdening loneliness already beginning to take its toll on her. When she finally reached it, she could hardly bring herself to look at it, the painful memories it was associated with flooding into her head. As a sudden rage washed over her, she plucked her Rakuyo off the ground and with a cry, shattered the wooden chair in a single strike before tossing the weapon to the floor in disgust.
Taking a seat on the stairwell where she and Zoran had spent so much time on, she struggled to hold back the well of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. Sending the hunter away had been one of the hardest things she had ever done, because she knew that once she did, she would truly be alone. She had grown so used to his presence, the conversations they found themselves embroiled in, the feeling of comfort whenever he was near; so much so that she failed to see what it was leading to.
His breakdown bore an unsettling resemblance to the ramblings of the patients in the hall below, as they desperately begged for her help as their minds deteriorated from events she had put in motion. She had reluctantly sedated him, finding herself incapable of counseling him as she noticed the parallels; but then she heard him utter something.
"I need you…"
How could she have done this to him? Taken advantage of his weakness to quell her own desires, all while she claimed to be helping him?
The ultimate purpose for her aiding him should've been so he would find the strength to finally end the Hunter's Nightmare for good, but their last few encounters strayed further and further away from that purpose. Instead, she had foolishly acted on her feelings for him; feelings she should've kept restrained. And now, he would sooner remain here for eternity rather then having to face her again.
And Maria had no desire to do so either. Not after what had transpired between them the night before. What had begun as a want to show him what true love-making could be like turned into the most stimulating and emotionally charged moment of her life; both of her lives. And as she lay with him then, she knew that she wanted to spend the rest of eternity with him.
But she couldn't do that to him; condemn him to a lifetime of damnation just so she could feel something again. He deserved to be happy, to live a life free of torment and sorrow. And he would never find with her. Not so long as the Nightmare endured.
Looking off to her side, she noticed that the music box Zoran had given her was still there, its insignificant appearance hiding a much darker story. Though it had once brought a feeling of comfort, now all it did was amplify her grief. It showed the goodness hidden behind the hunter's seemingly pessimistic exterior he exhibited when they first met. Knowing just how much he suffered made Maria regret all the times she had slaughtered him without a second thought, because her time with him showed her what he really was; a kind soul trapped in an endless sea of blood and despair.
Picking it up, she began to observe it in greater detail, opening it to view the inner machinations of the small machine. The first thing that caught her eye was a small note that was attached to the underside of the opening. Though most of the writing was obscured, she could make out two names at the bottom of the sheet of paper.
Viola and Gascoigne. That must have been the name of the couple who Zoran had set out to find at the very beginning of his hunt, the very first in a long line of tragedies.
Taking the note into her hands, she tried to make out the message, the age of the letter making it difficult to do so. When she realized she was getting nowhere, she turned her attention back at the music box…
And what she saw made her audibly gasp, her eyes darting open in surprise. It was a small hair ornament, held up by two small nails where the letter had been pasted not long before. It looked exactly like one she had adorned in her hair when she was younger, the one she had left with Gehrman when she left the Workshop for good. It couldn't possibly be the same one, she thought. Instinctively, she turned the sheet around, hoping to find answers…
Only to be met with a second message, which appeared to have been written recently.
To the Lady of the Astral Clocktower.
Whose fair heart and unfaltering compassion helped me see the light in the darkest depths of an endless nightmare.
May you find your worth in the waking world.
Your good hunter…
Zoran Kushnirenko of the Kuban Cossacks.
When she finished reading the letter, Maria felt as if her heart had shattered. Looking at the music box once again, she felt tears began to well in her eyes, finally realizing what it truly meant. It wasn't just an impulsive gift to ease her boredom; he had planned this from the beginning. He somehow knew her curiosity would get the best of her and would lead her to discovering the small item hidden inside the box. It was meant to be a reminder of who she was before she fell into this Nightmare, that Zoran was truly grateful for everything she had done for him and that he cared for her.
That he loved her.
Her hands shook as she picked up the music box, turning the lever to be met with its familiar tune once more, her eyes still locked on the ornament. A slew of memories rushed through her mind.
The first time she consoled him.
When he had surprised her with offerings of books.
When she finally gained his blessing to unmask him.
The evening the two of them spent together; drinking, conversing and dancing until they could go on no longer.
And the happiness she felt as they lay together the night before, slowly falling asleep in each other's arms.
He had helped her remember who she truly was, beyond the horrible events she found herself embroiled in and now she had sent him away. And she hated herself for it. Maria began to sob uncontrollably, clutching the music box to her chest. As the tears began to pour down her face, all she could think about were the last few words he had spoken to her.
"I love you…" She murmured over and over again, the sound of her sobbing echoing through the empty room.
...
Author's Note:
Yet again, this part was incredibly hard to re-write due to the changes I made to the rest of the story. I briefly pondered having Maria execute Zoran in order to prevent him from stopping her leaving, but ultimately decided that would've been just a tad bit too much.
But I did end up putting a bit more emphasis on Zoran's past life as a Cossack into play in the nightmare sequence, seeing as how essential I made it to his character. And why does he get torturous visions now when he didn't earlier, you may ask? I'm sure you know the reason why.
This is hard. Conveying emotion is hard.