THE SUBSTITUTE LEAGUE OF AMERICA
Case Two: Haters and Also-Ranns

As one enters the room with its high, domed ceiling, it seems built almost to more-than-human proportions. In the centre of the room is a white table shaped like a square with slanted sides and the corners cut off; in the center of the table is a bright red light like an alarm. Surrounding the table are a series of business-like red chairs. Set beside the light is a small raised platform, on which is detailed model of Metropolis. To one's immediate right, set into the wall is an advanced computer system with a wall-size computer screen, which at the moment is flashing through television news broadcasts from across the globe. In an alcove on the far right is a gallery of photos on the walls, showing some of the greatest heroes of the day. In an identical alcove opposite in the room, is a table on which is a percolating coffee machine and a full set of coffee cups; the rich scent of Blue Mountain coffee wafts over and fills the entire floor.

Standing before the computer system is a man of an average height and build. He has dull brown hair, and is wearing a nondescript brown suit, with white shirt and brown tie. Slightly scuffed brown leather shoes are on his feet. The only thing about him which seems notable at all is his face, which is completely featureless.

Out of the man's peripheral vision, he barely spies the crimson figure hurtling through the air behind him. In an instant he whirls around, gun drawn from a shoulder holster. "Identify yourself," he says in a monotone voice.

Before him is a man with a lean, muscular build; his handsome face has a ready smile but piercing, intelligent eyes. He is clad in red tights and a red bodyshirt which leaves his arms bare, red wristbands which come to a point in his forearms, and red boots. White military-style stripes run down the sides of his tights and the front of his boots, matching the white military-style collar with two gold stars at his throat, and the functional white straps crisscrossing his chest which support a dual rocket-pack. Around his waist is a brown leather belt and holster, in which rests a futuristic-looking ray gun. Completing the uniform is a red and white helmet with golden wings on the front, and a white flare on top. "My name is Adam Strange," says the intruder, his hands raised in a placating gesture. He beckons with an open palm. "If you check your computer records, I am known to the Justice League. I tried to contact them, but they were in an alternate dimension. I also phoned the Challengers of the Unknown, but only got some automated machine which answered and asked me to leave a message. So ... "

Yankee Doodle types into a keyboard one-handed, and a profile of the man before him appears on a small computer screen. "I see our fame precedes us," he says sarcastically, "as does yours, Mr. Strange." He sheathes his gun. "How can I help you?"

Adam Strange nods towards his profile, "As you see, I champion the planet Rann. We've been invaded by a group of human criminals led by a being named Kra of the Robot Planet. My wife and I found ourselves outnumbered, so I thought it appropriate to seek some superpowered help while I'm on Earth. We're short on time though," he glances at his watch, "We have to be across the globe in six hours and twenty-two minutes, in order to be transported to Rann in time."

Yankee Doodle nods. "I'll see what I can do."

In a flash of light beneath a green sky, a group of colorfully-attired people appear on an alien landscape.

Goody Rickels groans, "I think that teleporting left me green behind the gills ... or is that the sky?"

"Wow, look at that!" Speedboy tugs on Fighting American's sleeve and points upwards. "Even the sky is different! It's a real alien planet!"

Liberty Belle smiles, "It really is impressive the first time you leave Earth."

Yankee Doodle nods, "Unfortunately we're not here on a sightseeing tour. We have serious business to attend to."

Tarantula looks around the desert landscape. "Where are ze beautiful alien women who need the rescuing? And ze fine alien restaurants?"

Adam Strange chuckles, "I'll be sure to find you some tasty protein cubes. At any rate, let's discuss strategy."

The discussion is interrupted by the sound of a hover vehicle. It lands near the team and as the rider dismounts, the helmet is removed to reveal a head of flowing ebony hair. A woman of eerie, alien beauty clad in blue and yellow dismounts. "Adam," she says in a musical voice, sashaying over to wrap her arms about him with grace. "These are your friends from Earth?" She turns to look at them, her eyes a startling shade of gold never seen on Earth.

Adam Strange kisses her. "Here's your beautiful alien woman, Tarantula; this is my wife, Alanna." He chuckles, "although she rescues me half the time, I swear."

Liberty Belle extends a hand, gauging the other woman, "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Alanna." She turns back to Adam Strange, "So what is our strategy here?"

Adam Strange turns towards the city. "Rann doesn't have a standing army, its security forces are all citizen-volunteers. They're not used to handling super villains. Alanna will take you to the front lines, where you can face down the human invaders. I'm going to head to the science center from where Kra is controlling his robot army. This," he says, holding up a small white disc resembling a dial, which he attaches to his belt buckle, "is my secret weapon. If I can use it to disarm Kra, his robots will be leaderless and will shut down, and any remaining super villains will be easily mopped up."

Fighting American nods, "It sounds good. Watch your back, Adam. We'll be seeing you soon."

Adam Strange grins, "I always do," and with a blast from his rocket-pack he soars into the air.

Alanna watches him as he arcs over the horizon, and with a small sigh, returns her attention to the League. "I take it not all of you are flyers? Please join me on the hover platform. We must needs make haste."

Yankee Doodle steps aboard the vehicle. "That's the word ... hmm, we need a battle cry don't we?"

Goody Rickels, using his right hand to physically close his mouth, manages to tear his eyes off Alanna. "Um," he says. "Maybe I ought to go with Adam? I'm more of a technician than a fighter, and ... "

Fighting American grabs him by the lapel and pulls him onto the hovercraft with the rest of that. "Forget that. We're sticking with his strategy and you're coming with us."

"Ahhh," says the Tarantula, "I would follow a woman such as zis one to ze end of ze Earth ... or any ozzer planeet!"

Goody Rickels mumbles as the hovercraft ascends, "It's my end I'm more concerned about."

Minutes later, as the vehicle passes over the city of Ranagar, the League passes over the battle front. They see the red-clad men and women battling furiously against robotic hordes, and a quartet of colorfully-clad figures cutting swathes through the city's defenders.

The Tarantula fires his webline, and encasing Goody Rickels within his auxiliary tarantula-arms like a brace, he swings down to confront a man in a blue jumpsuit with a green oddly-shaped helmet. The helmet is sort of flat, looking like he got his head wedged in a big green doughnut. The helmet has a chinstrap to hold it on.

Yankee Doodle spies a man wearing a blue leotard with red collar, boots, and belt. He has a large, bald head and pointed ears. Withdrawing his gun, he leaps off the vehicle onto a nearby ledge, and descends.

Fighting American spots a big humanoid, about 15 feet tall, apparently made of fiery magma. He grins, "Let's go old chum, this one looks right up our alley." He and Speedboy disembark to confront the volcano man.

Alanna and Liberty Belle, finally, see a giant woman, about thirty feet tall, including a ridiculously tall blue beehive hairdo, wearing a blue leotard with green collar, boots, belt, and cape. Alanna hands the controls over to her partner and activates her own rocket pack, flying towards the creature with Liberty Belle on her heels.

Inside the science center, Kra watches the League as they descend towards his allies. "Terrans," he curses. "Of course they would appear when I was on the verge of victory ... a shame it's not those accursed Challengers of the Unknown, I so look forward to the day when I can see their heads arrayed on robo-pikes before my gates. And with the science of Rann in my hands ... "

"... you'll accomplish nothing at all," interrupts Adam Strange as he enters through a window. He swivels the dial at his buckle, and his jetpack swivels around, allowing him to descend to the ground as he draws his weapon. "We Terrans do have a nasty habit of turning up, don't we, Kra? You shouldn't have invaded a planet who chose one to be their Champion." He fires his ray gun at the 10' tall, metallic, very robot-like figure, only to have the ray deflected off the sheen of its outer casing.

Kra laughs, "The weapons of Rann are futile against me, the Champion of Rann is useless against me." He reaches towards Adam Strange, who swivels the dial again. His jet pack reactivates and he sweeps out of Kra's grasp.

Outside, Goody Rickels confronts his opponent. "Drabny, isn't it? You'd think with a name like that you'd want some color in your costume, maybe paisley or at least a nice plaid, but no ... " Strings of fast-hardening nylon fired from Tarantula's web-gun encase Drabny as he is distracted by the monologue. Blasts of telekinetic force from the man's helmet open up the ground beneath the heroes, who slide down into the abyss.

Yankee Doodle's foe whirls around and spies the gun. "You come with death? I welcome it." Yankee Doodle blinks beneath his mask, "We're here to serve the public, even criminals like Multi-Man." He fires directly into the other's heart, and his opponent laughs manically as his body dissolves into liquid light, then reforms as a creature whose head and torso both look like round moons, while his arms and legs are made of the same stuff. He floats up into the air as if propelled by anti-gravity, and flies at Yankee Doodle.

The Volcano Man says "Hisss!" as he spies Fighting American and Speedboy. "Look out chum, this is a hot one!" Fighting American takes a flying leap at the Volcano Man, grunting as his insulated boots bounce off of magma. He grunts in pain, and the pair begin evasive maneuvers as the creature advances on them. "Hisss!"

Liberty Belle sighs, "I hate to destroy such a fine vehicle, but take [i]that[/i] Multi-Woman!" She crashes the hovercraft into the giantess, leaping free at the last moment. Her opponent, almost toppled by the force of the blow, nevertheless catches Liberty Belle in mid-leap and raises her overhead while Alanna sweeps around, ray gun at the ready. "Mama didn't raise me to be no Fay Wray," Liberty Belle complains as she tries to wriggle out of the grasp.

Inside the science center, Kra moves quicker than expected from a foe his size, and catches Adam Strange by the ankle. The champion swivels his belt dial, and with his rocket pack tries to angle out of the way, but Kra grabs him by the waist and tears off the dial, and Adam Strange curses as his rockets deactivate. "So much for that," he says, tossing the other into the wall. His opponent rolls and tries to evade the robot's grip, but Kra catches him again.

"You may defeat me," Adam Strange grunts out, "but Rann is united against you ... the Substitute League of America is against you ... you'll never defeat them all!"

Kra laughs and slams the flat of his metallic hand against Adam Strange's jaw. "I will show them their Champion, and they will collapse into despair. I will break your flesh body in half and they will all bow to Kra!" The pair start to fade as Kra teleports them to the roof of the science building.

Outside, the Tarantula shouts, "Zis shall not be ze end of ze mighty Tarantula!" Drabny uses his telekinesis to shatter the nylon web. He stares down at the pair, clinging desperately to Tarantula's web line, and telekinetically lifts them both into the air. The pair scream hysterically as he floats them around randomly. "You two are the most annoying, bungling, incompetent so-called heroes I have ever met," he says. "I almost wish the Challengers were here."

Yankee Doodle fires again at Multi-Man, only to have his bullets bounce off the stony surface. "I should have known there was a catch," he grumbles to himself, as he seeks cover from the gravity-defying planetoidal villain.

Fighting American and Speedboy circle around the Volcano Man, who lumbers after them. "Hisss!" This piping looks familiar, thinks the older hero. Hoping for the best, Fighting American leaps up to swing himself onto the pipes, and wolf-whistles loudly. "Hey lavaface, come and get me!" The creature grabs for the pipes, melting through them and splattering it with water as Fighting American leaps free, diving out of the steam cloud.

Alanna fires repeatedly at Multi-Woman's wrist. "You little flying bitch!" the woman shouts, as the ray blasts wear through the skin revealing the robotic structure inside. She tries to grab for Alanna with her free hand but the woman manages to stay just out of reach. The distraction though allows Liberty Belle to work her way free, and she runs towards the hovercraft.

Inside the science center, Kra vanishes. He reappears, holding Adam Strange victoriously over his head, and looks around to find himself on an isolated sandy floor underneath a blue sky. "Where am I?" he demands of his victim, then roars as Adam Strange's jetpack blasts him full in the face.

Adam Strange arcs backwards coming to a landing several yards before the giant robot. "My flight equipment is controlled mentally via my helmet," he says. "That belt dial was a cheap piece of plastic to distract you, so you would think you could catch me easily."

Kra runs at the man as he takes off into the air, hovering above him. "Where am I? What did you do to me?" he demands.

Adam Strange smiles. "I knew you could teleport. My body is highly irradiated with zeta-rays; I guessed correctly that if you tried to teleport me anywhere, it would send you back home to Earth. Sardath is waiting outside the door, back on Ranagar, for the zeta discharge. Your robots have been shut down. You've lost, Kra."

"I can still ... kill you!" Kra shouts, as he teleports before where Adam Strange is standing, reaching up to grab his ankle. Suddenly a brilliant glare erupts before him, and the alien robot sees suspended in the air, the famous hero halo: 'HERO OF THE BEACH.'

"Not if I have anything to say in the matter," flexes Flex Mentallo, and with a mighty blow decapitates the robot. "Rock 'em sock 'em," he says to the head of the creature as it rolls across the sands, shouting alien profanity.

Adam Strange scoops it up as Kra glares at him. "I'm fairly glad I don't know what all that means," he says. "Thank you, Flex."

"My pleasure," flexes the other. "So what're you going to do with him?"

Adam Strange walks around the immobilised body. "I suppose I'll fly the head over to Challenger Mountain, and let them take care of it. I'll tell them where they can pick up the rest."

Beneath the green skies of Rann, Sardath raises a glass. "To our friends from Earth."

Yankee Doodle smiles beneath his mask, and abstains from imbibing. "I only wish you'd been able to do more."

Alanna says, "Your league tipped the balance. We could never have held off Kra's forces without you."

Speedboy looks at the unfermented fruit juice he's been handed, and sighs. "Well, I'm just glad once Kra's robots froze, your security forces were able to tip the balance for us, too." "So, um, Sardath," enquires Liberty Belle as she sips the alien wine, "how exactly are we going to get home?"

Sardath coughs, "We're looking into that. We're contacting representatives from Oa and Thanagar to attempt to arrange transport."

"Not to worry," insists Tarantula. "Zere are many fine restaurants we have yet to explore in zis exotic planeet of yours." He sniffs the wine delicately, and takes a sip, coughing as the unaccustomed alcohol pours down his throat.

THE END