THE SUBSTITUTE LEAGUE OF AMERICA
Case Nine: "An Equatorial Grasslands Bestiary"
(lyrics from the novel Silverlock copyright the estate of John Myers Myers)
The triangular form of the Silver Streak arcs across the Mediterranean seascape, Blue Beetle, Captain Action & Action Boy peering across at the Greek isles as they flash by. "You sure you know where you're going," Blue Beetle enquires.
Captain Action's hands are deft at the controls as they hit land. The Silver Streak extends a triad of wheels which takes the vehicle over the rocky beachline. "I know where we're going, though I'm not sure precisely what we'll find there. Copper, silver, and gold ... in ancient Greek: Chalcon, Argyron, and Chryson, three of the Telchines. They were evil magicians of legend."
Blue Beetle nods, "I hadn't heard of them, though most of my research has been in the antiquities of Egypt ... but clearly someone empowered, and evidently struck down the New Olympians when it was clear they couldn't defeat us. 'Copper, silver, gold' is a tenuous clue, but after my confrontation with the god Khepra I'm no longer inclined to scoff at such things."
Action Boy grins, "Well, I think it was pretty clever. But even though we've been using these magic coins for almost a year now ... the idea of actually meeting a god of ancient Greece ... that's just incredible."
"Incredible, yes, but potentially the most dangerous thing we've ever done. I'm still not sure it was the right thing to take you," Captain Action glances at his son who starts a protest. "But we decided that, depending on what we find, those with archeological skills would be the most useful, and you've been interning for Clive Arno for quite some time."
Blue Beetle scans the horizon, "I still think it would have been wise to include Yankee Doodle ... certainly his cover identity as an archeologist must have involved some actual field work ... you never know ... "
"Aw, he's a stick in the mud," complains Action Boy.
Captain Action adds, "If we do find what I think we might ... I'm not sure I want it reported back to the Pentagon." They find themselves in a small clearing in the ruins of the ancient Greek city of Sikoyn, surrounded by trees and lit here and there by dapples of sunlight. At first the forest seems still and deserted ... but as the sense of this place begins to fill them, they notice shapes and figures all around them, darting through the trees and across the clearing.
As they approach, Captain Action hears in the distance the thin, haunting notes of the pipes and the sound of voices, bellowing a song. He places his finger to his lips to silence his companions, and brings the Silver Streak to a slow halt. The trio dismounts, and continue the journey on foot. Finally, they stand on a ledge high above the sparkling waters of a gulf, by the steps of a plain hut built of mountain laurel-wood, woven with stalks of native fern. Nearby, a stream runs, the rushing water sounding in their ears.
"Old Man Zeus he ... kept a heifer in his yard;
Hera smelled a ... rat and took the matter hard.
She swore she would ... watch the varmint anyhow,
Damned if she'd play ... second fiddle to a cow!
Here's to Zeus and his hot pants! He learned to pay his debts.
The more he started to explain,
The more she jawed him with disdain.
She wouldn't hear; it was in vain
He vowed he just liked pets!"
Action Boy blushes bright red, and Captain Action looks like he wants to cover the boy's ears.
"Young Adonis ... was a handsome lad, I hear.
But some parts were ... missing from him, as I fear;
Aphrodite ... swung her hips and rolled her eyes,
But for once she ... couldn't even get a rise.
Here's to young Adonis, who is dead and ought to be!
He chased a pig, he shot and missed,
So he got killed instead of kissed.
I wish that what had slipped through his fist
Had only come to me!"
"They know their old stories, at least," Captain Action whispers to Blue Beetle. "And it's certainly someone with no love for the gods of Olympus."
"Once a centaur ... loved a Lapithaean dame,
So he thought he'd ... work to try to snatch the same;
But that cutie ... didn't thank him for his pass,
For she said she ... knew he was a horse's -
"Hold on!" a voice interrupts. "There are intruders."
Blue Beetle snaps his fingers, "It looks like we've been detected." He beckons with a motion of his head, "Let's see who our musical friends are."
The hut is bare inside, but for nine low tripod chairs set over a cleft in the dirt floor; three of the chairs stand empty, and on the remaining chairs sits a group of six dog-headed and flipper-handed figures, wearing long, hooded black robes which conceal their bodies. They have webbed feet as well as webbed fingers. One is holding a trident, another a flint sickle, and a third is carrying a battle-helmet. From a hole located in the center of the hut, mists are rising from the earth.
As the trio enters, the grotesque sextet stand erect to face them. The one holding the trident beckons angrily, and the three find themselves tossed out of the hut by the gusts of a miniature storm. Action Boy is the first upright. "I guess they don't like music critics," he says with a grin, then turns serious as he sees the three armed figures following them out of the hut and into the small clearing surrounding it.
The one bearing the trident waved his weapon, and a line of fire appeared on the rocks, encircling the heroes. The one carrying the battle-helmet dons it, immediately becoming invisible. "Back to back," mutters Captain Action to his allies, "Don't let them surprise you."
The trident is waved again, and a spring gushes up underneath the heroes, knocking them off-balance and sending them tumbling off their feet. Blue Beetle is suddenly scooped up into the air by an invisible foe, and tossed off the ledge.
"So that's the way it is then," grumbles Captain Action. He gestures with the power of Zeus, and lightning bursts from his hands, striking at the magical trident. The bearer is thrown backwards in surprise, but summons a storm of his own, pelting Captain Action with rain and hail.
Action Boy runs directly at the figure carrying the sickle, hoping to take him out quickly. As he gets close, the figure sweeps the sickle in a gesture which seems to slice through time and space, and Action Boy is startled to find he has crashed into himself, knocking himself down to the ground, and stares upwards at his opponent confusedly.
Blue Beetle recovers from his surprise in time to fly back to the clearing angrily. He lands close to where his opponent had been standing, and narrows his eyes, looking for tracks or signs. He feels a sudden, powerful blow to the back of his head, then another one to his side and he is sent sprawling.
The skies darken and rumble as those endowed with the powers of the gods duel using the forces of nature itself. Captain Action's heightened senses, using the awareness of Heimdall, spies Blue Beetle's attacker easily. He breaks away from the rain storm and runs to his fallen ally, tackling the other's opponent with the strength of Hercules and wrestling him down.
The sickle slices again, and before Action Boy can react, a prehistoric raptor leaps out of a hole in the world straight towards him. The creature is intercepted by Blue Beetle, who swoops down out of the air and grabs the creature by the tail, swinging it into the one who had brought it from the depths of time.
Action Boy grins, "I love playing musical chairs," and using the speed of Hermes, zips easily through the hailstorm created by the magical trident. Before its bearer can react with another attack, Action Boy rips it out of his hands and tosses it into the air, where it lands several yards away.
The three figures, who had remained seated during the battle, finally rise to their feet. They each raise their flipper-shaped hands, and the mists stream out from their hut and into the clearing. Blue Beetle, Captain Action & Action Boy find themselves unable to breath as the gaseous substance crawls into their lungs. They fall to their knees and gasp for breath.
Their three original combatants close in on them, pummeling the trio with powerful blows as they find themselves unable to protect themselves. Finally, Captain Action raises his hands defensively, choking out the words in Attick Greek: "We are Clive Arno, Carl Arno, and Dan Garrett. We came here seeking those named for copper, silver, and gold. We ... "
One of the figures interrupts him with an unearthly voice as he gestures their attackers to restrain themselves. "Cease your poor pronunciations. We can speak to any mortal who comes into our demesne." The other sextet of figures who had been seated around the circle pick up the monologue, alternating words from one to the other. "We are the Telchines."
"We are Actaeus, Antaeus, Damonax, Lycus, Megalesius, and Ormenos."
"We are the Children of the Sea."
"We are the children of Thalassa and Pontus, the sea titans."
"We made the sickle of Cronus, with which mighty Zeus cut his father's thews. We helped Capheira to nurse Poseidon in his childhood. We made the first statues of the gods. We minted the first coins to be distributed upon the earth by carving the visages of the gods on copper, silver, and gold. We were the hounds who tore Actaeon to pieces."
"Zeus and Apollo aided and abetted while the sons of Helios persecuted us. In revenge, we hid in the city founded by our niece and put the evil eye on the works of men. We were driven out by the power of the Olympians."
"The gods thought us dead, but they had only slain the three eldest of the nine of us: Chalcon, Argyron, and Chryson ... those whose names mean Copper, Silver, and Gold."
"Copper, Silver, Gold."
Captain Action looks at his son, and reaches into his side pocket, pulling out three silver discs, fused together as if by an immense heat yet still visibly bearing the recognisable visages of Heimdall, Hercules, and Zeus. "The coins of the gods you mentioned ... like these?"
"We had thought them all destroyed, until we sensed someone trying to remove them from this world. We cast a spell which tied them to the world, and then gathered scions to return them to us. The scions failed."
Captain Action holds them up so they glitter in the sunlight. "And if they were returned to you?"
"We have no other issue with the affairs of men."
Blue Beetle scowls, "You can't give in to them that way ... they murdered those people!"
Captain Action looks at him. "And what would you do, turn them in to the Greek authorities to send them to prison? Or ought we take them back with us to an American jail?"
Blue Beetle says, "I've fought gods before ... "
Captain Action nods, "And we've lost, this time." He tosses his coins to the closest of the Telchines, who snaps it out of the air. He turns to his son. "Carl?"
Action Boy reluctantly reaches for his coin with the visage of Mercury. "But Dad ... what about the next time we meet our arch-enemy, Doctor Evil?"
Captain Action smiles softly, "We'll just have to develop some other ways to defeat him." He takes the coin in hand and tosses it to follow the others. "Next time ... you could have just asked, you know."
"The gods do not ransom their property from mortals. Go on your way now."
As they depart, Blue Beetle looks askance at his teammate. "Just as well Yankee Doodle didn't accompany us ... he'd have reported you to the authorities. I'm not sure I shouldn't do the same, in fact."
Action Boy says, "It just didn't seem right to me either, Dad."
Captain Action sighs, as they approach the Silver Streak. "Those who bargain with gods, like the New Olympians evidently did, must be prepared for the fact that gods are, by their nature, capricious and whimsical. We gave the Telchines back their own property, and that's the end of it. If they try to interfere with us again, I'll summon our other allies ... Goody Rickels and I can contact Superman ... and things will go very differently. I promise you that."