This I Promise You
A fan fiction by Aoi Kitsukawa
Disclaimer: Joker Game belongs to Yanagi Kouji and its related committees; I only borrow the characters in the manga/ anime (or related sources).
Author's Note: It seems like I can't do my writing if I didn't listen to any music or OSTs that can make me move my hands or I'll end up being lazy again. Despite having lots of ideas, I still need some motivations in forms of songs (not just random songs!) to continue my writing. Not to mention a proper keyboard with stands (my favourite one broke both of its stand so I had to lay it on flat surface. Still manage to damp my motivation though, unlike when I am doing my work at office).
This chapter will have lots of conflicts within Miyoshi himself, between Miyoshi and Sakuma, and what kind of secrets that Sakuma will reveal.
Summary: During one night of heavy rain, Miyoshi went all the way deep into a green forest alone, single and pregnant. Wandering without any aim, the youngster was at the edge of collapsing when he met again with the person who made a promise with him, long time ago…
Chapter 03: Confessions
When I say, "I'm okay",
I want someone to look me in the eyes and say,
"I know you're not."
It was raining heavily that day when he woke up slowly.
A pair of brown orbs slowly fluttered open. The room was blurry; he could not see, but the barest amount of light stung his eyes. He could hear sounds around him, although it is not very clear. His throat was hurt and aching…as if it was burning his throat terribly. The throbbing feeling was painful on his left cheek
What is happening to him?
How long had he been sleeping?
He blinked his eyes weakly, squinting.
Where is he?
Nothing seemed to be familiar for him.
He tried to turn his head, but it felt like there was something heavy pressing his head. He tried to speak, but he couldn't utter a single word out as his throat felt painful. He could feel that something was being injected into his arm; something sticky was placed on his skins, a sooth movement on his head, as someone's hand was gently stroke his brown hair back.
Then suddenly, there were heavy footsteps running and voices were mixed around him again before the sound of door being opened was heard.
"Miyoshi?" a deep, masculine voice called. "Miyoshi, can you hear me?"
A rough, but gentle hand grabbed his.
'Who? This voice…'
"Miyoshi, if you can hear me, please squeeze my hand. You can do that, right?"
'Wha...? My hand…?'
He fought back with unconsciousness that was pulling him. Soon, the lights became blur than before and before he knew, the darkness had surrounding him.
But the same gentle hand held his.
Tightly.
It was louder than usual.
The music was louder than usual, the customers kept on going into the bar, dance floor was crowded with youngsters, which mostly students from high schools and colleges. It was usual though, because right now was the day was exams were over, and college students entered their spring vacation. Most of them choose to celebrate their vacation or graduation from high school exams by partying and drinking. This bar was one of their favourite ports to drink, hanging around and dancing.
Miyoshi Katsuhiro slumped against the bar's counter, holding a glass of scotch. It was his 6th glass, or maybe more, he did not know. He really don't care anymore, after what happened that day. He knew many people stared at him, since he was wearing a uniform from one of prestige academies. Even the bartender in front of him was looking at him concern, since he had been at the bar since evening, and it was already past 8.00 PM.
Hmph, he didn't care what people were thinking about him. His exams were over, and as far as he remembered, his father's family had decided to go for vacation once the exams were over for a week. Therefore, nobody was home except for the servants. It also meant that they didn't care if he was home or not. He decided to drink as much as he wanted, to forget the pain he felt in his heart.
Actually, not only his heart, he also felt like his body was feeling strange and uncomfortable; something he never felt before. When he was presented as an 'Omega' during his second year, his heat only appeared once and never since then. In addition, his symptom was a heavy fever that he was admitted to hospital, something rare happen to any Omegas. It was rare, but never seen as strange, since the hospital kept records on the condition of the Omegas that admitted to hospital due to heat; his case was mention several times. Still, it made his mother worried about him.
'It might be stress,' He thought, taking a gulp of his scotch. 'It's normal since exams are all over…'
Miyoshi raised his glass, asking for another drink. Instead, he was give clear water by the bartender, who was looking at him worriedly.
"You should go home," He said. "It's your 6th glass, and you drink it on empty stomach. Besides, it's dangerous here…"
"Hmph…!" Miyoshi smirked, as he looked up at the bartender. His calm, dark orbs shone dimly in the dark. "I'm already 18! I'll be 19 in few months; I can take care of myself!"
The bartender did not say anything, but smiled kindly. He turned around and left for a while much to Miyoshi's relief, when the said man came back and put a small plate of chocolate cookies in front of him. Miyoshi widened his eyes; it was his favourite!
"Take it. It's in the house," He said. "I wish I could serve something heavy but the kitchen is busy. If you want anything, just call me or the others," He said as he left Miyoshi with the cookies. Miyoshi stared at the man's back until he disappeared behind the wall, and slowly took a bite of the cookies.
Time passed, it was almost 10 p.m and the bar was getting crowded and louder, with many adults came inside. Dancing, talking, drinking, laughing…Miyoshi held his head as he felt his body became warmer than before. His sight seemed blurry as he blinked his eyes many times. The loud sounds and the bright lights made Miyoshi felt restless. Not to mention the constant nudge-by-accidents he had to face due to tiny space to move made by the visitors. Miyoshi was not comfortable at all.
Miyoshi may have looked fine on the outside but in actuality, he felt light headed and giddy. The bartender was nowhere to be found and it was getting hotter, so Miyoshi slowly left his seat and walked away. He did not realize that several pair of eyes that belonged to several 'Alpha' men was looking at him dangerously. He only thinks of getting himself out from that place. The longer he walked the more he felt…off. His walking was unsteady and he felt fuzzy…could it have been that drink?
"Well well…what do we have here?"
Miyoshi jolted in shock as a group of tall and built-up men suddenly surrounded him; people whom he realized were 'Alphas'. Miyoshi knew he was in trouble when he realized his back touched a wall and he was far away from the counter he sat before. He was near a corner, which was dark, and a bit isolate, a perfect place for people like these Alpha men to do some 'naughty game'.
"There's a little kitten got lost here…" Said one of them as he casually touched Miyoshi's face and earned a slap on his hand. Instead of getting angry, he just smirked.
"Oh look! The kitten is angry!" The men laughed as one of them grabbed Miyoshi's arm. "Never seen you before. A new one?"
"Maybe. Look at his uniform, still a kid!" Said another man as he jerked Miyoshi's face so he could get a closer look. "But quite a beauty…I guess we're lucky today…!"
"He's an Omega, right?"
"Yeah, finally a feast tonight," Miyoshi widened his eyes as he finally realized what those men were trying to say.
He needed to get away!
"The hell…let go of me!" Miyoshi tried to release his arm, but the man who held it quickly grabbed him from behind, successfully locked his movement. He licked Miyoshi's ear eagerly, almost making Miyoshi cried in fear.
"Hmm….sweet smells of Omega. I wonder how good you are in the bed." He laughed as he pushed Miyoshi harder to the wall, the rest started to touch him.
Someone was touching his body, which enough to make Miyoshi shaking in fear as he remembered his mother's dark past and he refused to repeat it. Miyoshi struggled to release himself, but with alcohol still strong within his system and the man's grip was stronger than his made him unable to escape. Not to mention the loud songs and people's voices were enough to drown his own voice. Even if he screamed for help, it was futile; people could not see in the dark and hear anything due to loud noise.
"No…stop…Please stop..!" Cried Miyoshi, tried to release himself. The men just laughed and one of them even tried to touch his lower part. He was scared, he felt weak and vulnerable, desperately wanting someone to save him from the hell he was suffering now…
Someone…Someone please…help me…!
Help me…!
HELP ME!
"WHY YOU DAMN BASTARDS!"
WHAAAM!
A loud shout suddenly heard that the music immediately stopped. Miyoshi suddenly felt a gush of air went through his right side, followed by a sound of a flesh being hit before he was roughly pulled away and into someone else's arms. A loud groan was heard as Miyoshi felt someone was pushing his head against someone's body gently but very protective. Strong arms wrapped his shaken body as he heard the poor man cried in pain.
"You shit..! Who the hell are you…urgh…" He said as one of his friends helped him stood on his feet. Despite slowly feeling the effects of the alcohol, Miyoshi could see the man's nose was bleeding and some of his front teeth were missing.
The person who punched him must be very angry and very, very strong!
"We should be the one to ask you!"
A cold, venomous female voice echoed throughout the silent bar as sounds of footsteps slowly appeared, revealing a tall figure with murderous aura released everywhere. At her left hand was a katana (1) unsheathed and shone within the darkness. The men who were trying to molest Miyoshi immediately paled as they realized who the person was.
"RUN!"
"Oh no you don't!" A voice Miyoshi recognized as the kind bartender appeared and the said person gave one of the men a good punch right on his face. "After what you did you guys just want to run away, huh?"
"Eat this!"
A 'woosh!' was heard and suddenly some women were screaming. It turns out the rest of the men including the injured one were slashed by the mysterious girl with her sword and interestingly, all of their clothes turned into pieces with the exceptional of their boxes. The crowd cried in joy or embarrassed; none of them were important to Miyoshi anymore. His mind only thought to escape himself from the person who held him, so he squirmed restlessly when he heard his name was called.
"Are you alright Miyoshi?"
Despite being under influence of alcohol, Miyoshi could not help but widened his eyes. The voice who called his name was very familiar, very much resemble to 'that' person…
Was he dreaming right now?
"I don't think he's in good condition, sempai," Said the bartender as Miyoshi felt his bangs were pushed back. Yet he did not feel it disgusting. "He took six glasses of scotch all night and not to mention a glass of lemonade mix with vodka when he came here!"
Urgh, shut up you busy body bartender!
"WHAT!?"
"Yeah, and on empty stomach as well."
"That's hard…" Said a girl's voice, the same person who cut off the men's clothes and currently under custody upon some crimes they done. Miyoshi took it as a sign to release him and slowly walked away from the group who had just saved him.
"Sempai, follow him! Tatsuya, go with him!"
"What?" Another male voice was heard, but deeper and cooler than the bartender was. "Shouldn't you're the one to accompany him?"
"I can't let this tomboy goes around without me accompany her" –WHACK! "–ITTE! The hell!?" The bartender cried in pain as the said girl kicked his leg. "He's under alcohol; it's dangerous to leave him alone. Besides…"
Miyoshi did not hear what the group was talking about but he knew that one of them agreed on something, as running footsteps were hear, following him from behind.
"Are you alright?" The mysterious man asked again in concern when it was rather clear that the alcohol already taken effect. Miyoshi was tipsy and seemed to be having a hard time walking in a predictable pattern. It was rather amusing on at least some level…
"…n-" Miyoshi collapsed into the mystery man from the side, sagging into his embrace with all his dead weight. "I…don't feel so well…I feel like I'm going to be sick…" Miyoshi muttered out almost incoherently.
The man scoffed while his other companion reached him after that. "I knew you weren't fine...how many times I told not to do stupid things…" Internally, Miyoshi would stood up and replied to the said man with his usual sarcastic answers, but the way he scolded him sounds nostalgic, as if he had known Miyoshi for some times. Something from him smelled nice and calm; the same feelings he had whenever a boy, older than he was, while crying after his family's beating, found him. Holding his hand while taking him back to his mother despite his protest and crying…but he obediently followed him and back to his mother.
He would gladly leaned himself against the man and sighed in relief, if not because of the sudden wave of nausea that he gasped, cupping his mouth as he tried to move away. It was fail though, as he unable to hold it anymore and vomited loudly on the road. The men cursed as he kept on bending his body, throwing everything inside his stomach out before he wobbled. The last thing he remembered was that the same arms seized his slender waist quickly and pulled him closer to him.
Miyoshi's eyes slowly opened as he felt something cool and wet on his face. His sight still in blurry and his body was heavy, perhaps due to the alcohol's effect. Sat next to him was a man with dark hair and eyes (he was wondering how come he could see the eyes despite his blurry sight), gently wiping his face. His body felt warmer than before, making Miyoshi felt uncomfortable to stay lying on his back. He felt funny, his body starts to sweat, and he could feel butterflies in his stomach. He even realized that he was not in his uniform and was wearing a bit oversize shirt.
The mysterious man seemed to talk something about him, but he couldn't hear it clearly. His body became uncomfortable, certain parts of his body felt weird and painful, making him rolled to his side. He was scared…what exactly happen to him?
When he felt the sudden lift of weight on his side, he immediately grabbed the man's back shirt. He was shaking; he could feel his lower part starts to feel painful and wet; he felt uncomfortable and scared. He did not want to be leaving alone.
"Don't go…!" He said, shivered as he felt the man's hand at his back, as if he was trying to hold him. He wanted the man to stay by his side, to hold him, touch him…his desire slowly aroused, trying to look at the man before saying, "Don't go…please take me…Just don't leave me…"
It's cold…
"Miyoshi, you -!"
Stay with me…
"Please... I know what I am doing so please... Just please..."
Please…
"Stay…"
With that, all hell loose over.
Starting with a sudden kiss, one led to another, Miyoshi had no time to collect his thought as everything went too fast for him. He suddenly found himself lay on his back, feeling warm kisses trailing on his neck and jaw, shirt unbuttoned, hands roaming on his skin, causing him to moan in pleasure and setting him to burn under those touches. The warmth he felt as he was wrapped in embrace made him squirming and sweating, giving the man the positive reactions. More than just kisses, they wanted to devour and possess the other.
During the heating moments, Miyoshi felt a warm, firm kiss was placed at the side of his neck. Then everything exploded; and everything around him turned into a smudge of blurry images, only his voice moaned and cried for the mysterious man permeating through the rush of blood running through his ears…
When Miyoshi woke up the next day, he found himself alone in the rent room. The mysterious man was no longer there, not even his traces could be found. Miyoshi almost believed that it was just a dream, if not because of his naked body covered by the blanket, the horrible hangover that almost splitting his head open, the sore feeling between his legs, the hickeys on his neck and torso, and the warm feeling he felt in his chest.
However, reality hits him sooner than he thought.
He was left alone, in the end.
He felt empty upon the realization.
Miyoshi slowly held himself, as if he was feeling cold.
Yet, the blanket that covered his naked body was tug up to his chin; as if the said lad had made sure, Miyoshi would not get cold after their intimate moment. His scattered clothes were hang against the wall, with folded new clothes was placed on the chair. He slowly stood up and walked towards the chair where his cellphone was placed, and saw a message was left, saying that everything was taken care and he should not worry on anything, just go back home safely. Miyoshi stared at his phone silently, before saving the message as a draft and prepared himself.
Miyoshi left the lodging inn (he only realized that when he came out from the building) with calm feeling, but at the same time, he started to feel cold. Being into that mysterious man's arms felt so good, as if his warmth manage to melt the icy feeling he always had and became worst after his mother passed away. His touches felt like burning his skin, touching everywhere as if he knew where his sensitive spots. The kisses were soft and gentle as if he was a lover, and each thrust made him shudder in ecstasy and pleasure…
Along with the warm, firm kiss that was placed at the side of his neck.
But not without his terrible hangover that haunted him until he reached home.
He drank lots of alcohol and it took at least 2-4 days for the alcohol out of his system. He also had to spent almost all of his time in the bed since the hangover was too much for him to go anywhere outside the house. Good things that the servants understood his situation and brought his lunch and dinner. At least without the main family, they could be at ease and Miyoshi will not have to face them like that as well.
Until two weeks later, Miyoshi started feeling strange with himself.
When he found out he was pregnant, he felt the world around him was broke into tiny pieces.
Miyoshi did not know how long he was out of cold.
Morning broke and Miyoshi found himself in an unfamiliar room. His body felt warm but heavy, as if it had become as heavy as stone. As his vision cleared so did, his senses and Miyoshi realized the unfamiliar room was familiar after all; it was a hospital room. A throbbing pain slowly came as he brought a weary hand to his head… and found it was pin with IV and it hurt. He looked around wearily and found that he was on the bed under a warm blanket.
Just like that morning.
"How…" he whispered as he looked to his side and saw a young man was sleeping on chair, next to the bed and the table sitting.
Miyoshi narrowed his eyes to see closer, before he realized who the person was. He stood up almost immediately that he regretted his act when he felt a sudden wave of nausea came to him. His hand immediately reached his stomach as he tried to suppress the awful feeling. Mild nausea came to him and he took another deep breath to hold himself from running to the toilet. He must had done loud noises, because he felt large hands touching his back and hand that covered his mouth. The same nostalgic scene hit his sense of smell as he slowly looked up and was meet with a pair of concern dark eyes.
"Sa…Sakuma…san…?"
Sakuma did not say anything; instead, he slowly pulled Miyoshi closer to him much to the young man's shock. Sakuma stroke Miyoshi's back gently as if he was trying to comfort him, and it was show by Miyoshi's small sigh of relief. He closed his eyes as he leaned against Sakuma who calmly kept on stroking his back.
"How are you feeling?" He asked and was greet with silence. Miyoshi at the same time was listening to Sakuma's heartbeats before he slowly released himself from Sakuma's hold, trying to answer his question.
Suddenly, his vision went funny, all woozy and washy. He closed his eyes and knew what was coming. Even Sakuma knew what would happen as Miyoshi cup his mouth suddenly. He grabbed his free hand and ushered him to the washroom where he was noisily throwing out into the toilet while he squatted behind his, holding back his long bangs without saying anything. Miyoshi was cursing himself mentally; the morning sickness had started out since two weeks ago and he did not find the whole thing as "amusing" as what the books and his female seniors had said. He was trembling and shivering on the aftermath of his nausea, his skin felt clammy and the last thing he needed right then was to explain the situation to Sakuma. Much to his chagrin, he picked him up, flushed the toilet then slammed down the seat so he could sit down on it with his still wrapped on his arms.
Muscles began flexing all over him as he stretched out a hand towards the washbasin and just manages to reached a tap and turn it on. Two seconds later a damp cloth arrived on his face. It was so refreshing he just closed his eyes and gave in to his grimly silent ministrations with the back of his head resting in the hollow of his shoulder and his legs dangling limply along the length of his.
Eventually he went still. His world began to steady. Miyoshi could feel the pound of his heart against the back of his head and he just couldn't resist releasing a small sigh. "Feeling a little better?" He nodded and he was starting to feel comfortable in his embrace when the next question made him tremble. "You...are pregnant, aren't you?"
No!
He shouldn't know that!
Miyoshi immediately wriggled out of his embrace and finding the strength to land on his two feet but the moment he did, a wave of dizziness set the floor rocking beneath his feet. A strong arm hooked around his slender waist to take his weight again. He did not even saying anything this time, but simmered in magnificent silence as he bent to hook the other arm around his knees then carried him out of the bathroom before he placed him on the hospital bed. As his body touched the soft mattress, Miyoshi sighed in relief and relaxed his already weak body. That was when he took a good look at Sakuma and realized the said man's face was covered with bruises and swollen lips. He gingerly touched Sakuma's face that made him jolted a bit.
"What…happened to you…?" Asked Miyoshi with hoarse voice. Sakuma let Miyoshi's cold hand cupped his face before he placed his hand over his and smiled.
"A small fight," He said. "Hatano beat me up, if you want to know the culprit is."
"Hatano…?" Miyoshi asked, narrowing his eyes. It was a long time since he ever heard about Hatano. The last time he saw him was right before the spring break of their first year of middle school.
Miyoshi had long wonder where did Hatano disappear. Miyoshi first met Hatano Ryousuke when he was 10 years old in the special D-Class of their future middle school. Hatano was a thin, droopy-eyes boy but with exceptional talent in martial arts. However he was still shorter than the rest of the classmates with Jitsui being the second; Kaminaga often making fun with his height and ended up got 'smack down' by Hatano. His mother already passed away and left him to live with his strict, abusive 'Beta' father. It was no wonder where he gained such talent since his father was a martial art instructor. Everyone knew his father was pushing Hatano too much for his own expectation, especially since Hatano was the sole heir to the family, but they never thought something horrible happened to him several years later.
What exactly happened to Hatano was never reveal, even to their D-Class' circle until now. Not long after they ended their final exams, Hatano suddenly absent from school two days later, followed by Odagiri the next week. Then suddenly Hatano's father was arrested for sexual abuse and human trafficking along with several suspects several days later, shocking their entire school. Odagiri was no longer coming to school right after the arrest, while Hatano came during the last day of school, looking so pale and traumatic. Everyone believed that his father for knowing his crimes beat up Hatano horribly, yet Hatano never said anything. When the new semester opened, Hatano was no longer there.
That was the last time Miyoshi ever sees Hatano again.
"I don't know where he lives…" Said Miyoshi as he closed his eyes but let Sakuma held his hand on his face. He slowly opened his eyes and glanced at Sakuma, "What exactly happens that made him punch you…?"
"…Things…" Said Sakuma after a pause. "I'll tell you later."
Miyoshi smiled weakly as he sighed. After handed him a glass of water, Sakuma took a remote control of his bed and slowly raised the upper bed into half-sitting position, which Miyoshi was gladly accepted. The said position would make him easier to talk to Sakuma or for the doctor and nurses to check on him. Many things happened; his mother's passing, Johan Bauer's betrayal, his fracas with his estrange father, the news of his pregnancy…
"How long do you know about the pregnancy?"
Miyoshi's heart beat faster. At least he wanted to keep his pregnancy a secret from Sakuma, the last person he wanted to let know. However, he also knew that Sakuma surely got the news of his pregnancy from the doctor who treated him while he was unconscious, based on the room he was staying. Slowly, after some time of silencing himself, he looked at Sakuma who was patiently waiting for his answers. Sakuma could see his hands were slightly shaking.
"…About three weeks…it was a one night stand…" Said Miyoshi, slowly. He eyed Sakuma's expression and it was unreadable. He found that slightly disturbing him a bit. Usually he was the one who managed to control his own expression and made Sakuma easily to read like an open book, however circumstances won't allow him to be the one in control. Despite Sakuma was an honest, straightforward person (which made him a very easy target for bully and teasing among D-Class), if he suddenly became silent and unreadable, it could mean something serious. He once saw Sakuma choked and raised single-hand an Alpha senior who tried to bully Jitsui due to his small figure, under that state. Despite the Alpha was big and tough, Sakuma was stronger than what eyes could see. The senior was lucky that another member of D-Class, who only joined the special course, stopped him from beating the senior (but he was end up got kick by the said student and given warning. He then ran away like a chicken, seriously!). Ever since then, whenever Sakuma was in silent or unreadable mode, no one would ever dare to step the borderline further.
"Do you know who that person was?" Miyoshi shook his head, as he really did not know the identity of the mysterious man that managed to make his heart beat faster despite knowing his hair and eyes' colour. He realized Sakuma resembled the mysterious man a bit due to his black hair and eyes, but knew they were two different people.
"I just know that he's saving my life when I almost got molested by a group of Alpha. He did take care of me since I was drunk, before we…" He let the words unfinished, letting Sakuma to think by his own.
Silence impregnated the room with the exceptional of the ceiling fan and the sound of the breeze that gently blew the curtains and outside trees. Miyoshi stared the ceiling silently, while Sakuma sat on the chair next to his bed, hands clasped tightly. Nothing was say between them, for some long time, when Miyoshi decided to break the ice.
"Where I am…?" He asked, jolting Sakuma a little.
"Fudomae General Hospital…we're in the Human World," Said Sakuma
"Human…World…!?" Asked Miyoshi, shock. "How…! I mean…!"
"I found you at the forest near the borderline between Human World and Dark World," Said Sakuma. "You're soaking wet, from head to toe, and crying."
So it was not a dream…except Sakuma had seen his weak side…
"What happen? Why didn't you stay with you mother?"
"…She's gone…"
"Eh?"
"Okaa-san…passed away almost two months ago…" Said Miyoshi weakly. His eyes looked dull the moment he mentioned that, which Sakuma believed the signs of him being depress, which is not good.
"But that's not the only thing you've been in such condition right?"
Miyoshi did say anything, but Sakuma knew that young man was thinking about something serious.
"I need to find a job here…"
"In a place where you didn't know anything and just arrive?" Asked Sakuma, disbelieved. "Miyoshi, this isn't the Dark World that you know. This is a Human World, a place where it was a fragile existence but cruel at the same time. You just arrive here, there's no way you could survive without any supports!"
"It's alright Sakuma-san, don't worry," Said Miyoshi as he smiled. "I'm fine, don't worry about it. Once I'll be release, I will temporarily find an inn and find jobs."
"Miyoshi…"
"Sakuma-san, if you're worry about my condition, don't worry. I'm perfectly fine. I'm alright don't worry about it."
'What a smile…' Sakuma frowned, as he leaned forward and looked directly into Miyoshi's eyes.
"No, I know you're not Miyoshi."
….
…
….
…
..
.
Miyoshi was speechless.
His expression changed completely that even Sakuma could see it clearly. Slowly looked down Miyoshi mumbled in a horrid expression, "No…No, you're wrong…I am not…! I am not…!"
"I know you're not alright…There's nothing wrong to say it…" Sakuma spoke softly but firmly. "You might feel better if you tell me about what is troubling you…"
"I-I…doubt that…" He stumbled out with a fake chuckle.
"Try me," Sakuma replied dryly, while shifting his seat slightly.
"…" Miyoshi hesitated. It looked like he was having an inner battle on whether to spill or not. Sakuma could see how much tense and depress Miyoshi was, which worried him a lot.
"I…I can't tell you…" he finally confessed.
"And why is that, Miyoshi?" Sakuma spoke. "I was under the impression that we were to the point where you could open up to me…"
"Well, I…" he stammered frantically. "It's not tha-that…I…I wan-want to…" tears suddenly started to spill forth from his eyes in a rapid downpour of emotion.
"Ah…" Miyoshi whispered as he reached up to his face to touch the swiftly falling tears. "I-I'm sorry…"
"Don't apologize, Miyoshi…now tell me what is going on." Sakuma replied in a much gentler tone. He knew that what Miyoshi had experienced until now was something very big that it tortured him so much that to see him cry made him worry and he wanted to know the cause of his sadness.
He was met with silent sobs and sniffles. Slowly, Miyoshi started crying, his sobs racking his already fragile frame, as Sakuma's big hands pulled him into an embrace and squeezed the back of his hospital robe between his fingers. He let him weep, each sob hurting him more than he thought possible, however, he knew he needed that. During all those days, from the moment he was born and living with such cold family until when Miyoshi found out about the new life that was growing inside him, he kept it all hidden inside himself, trying to keep his mask in place. Miyoshi always tried to be strong, but Sakuma knew Miyoshi had already reaching his limits, not to mention being pregnant.
"I'm so scared…" Sobbed Miyoshi. "I really scare…when I found out that I was pregnant…I really don't know what to do…I don't have anyone to turn for help…I feel like my whole life is really in mess….I don't know who's the father of this child….and-and the servants couldn't do more than what they've been told…so I…"
"I thought of getting an abortion…"
Sakuma widened his eyes as he heard Miyoshi's confession. He felt a strong urge to shake and yell Miyoshi for thinking such things, but then he tried to calm himself. He needed to be patient; during that time, Miyoshi had just lost his only family and his close friend Johan betrayed him, therefore putting Miyoshi in such delicate and unstable situation. He needed to understand Miyoshi's situation as well, since right now, the said person was sitting with him with hands covered the area where another life was growing and living inside him. He really can't blame Miyoshi on everything since he too, was a part of the fault.
Because he left the young man alone and unable to keep his promise to him, 6 years ago…
"Then…" He said, as he held Miyoshi tighter. "What happened..?"
"At the beginning…I thought that I wanted to, but I also thought of giving birth to the child…" Miyoshi said as he choked a little, and Sakuma rubbed his back gently. "…But in the end, I became confused, and I tried so hard not to think about it, which I failed…" Miyoshi cupped his mouth as a wave of sadness went through him, making his tears fell down more. "I was force to think about it anyway and it anguished me more and more…"
"And that's why when the result was positive, I had an impression that I couldn't run to anywhere or anyone…I was also scared to go to the hospital….but I told myself that if I really was pregnant then I have to get an abortion as soon as I can…"
"I thought of myself that if I get an abortion without saying anything to anyone, nobody would found out…and that I'd be able to continue living my life as it was…" Sakuma stared at him sadly, as he let Miyoshi continued. "But when I was about to go to the hospital…as I stood in front of the building….I understood that it was really my child that was inside my stomach... and all of the sudden, realization struck me…"
"I then thought that I'd be unable to get an abortion and keep on living as if nothing happened…my fear and anguish faded away and the only thought that I had was that I need to be strong for the sake of my child…" Miyoshi tried to wipe his tears as he continued. "It's difficult to say…but I felt a strong urge of me being the only one who can protect the life of this child that I'd been carrying…and I wondered if I'd be able to give birth to him and raise the child all by myself… "
"Is that why your father strike your face?" Asked Sakuma, concern. Miyoshi nodded his head.
"He was furious, and I swear it was the worst anger I ever seen in my life…He said that I've ruin my life and his plan to marry me into the Asahina Family by being pregnant…well, knowing his mind, he only thought of his business and never once mind me…" Miyoshi took a breather before continued. "He disowned me and told me to leave…since I no longer his son…I don't mind, I've been waiting for the moment to leave that hell…"
"But you couldn't do that before…" Miyoshi nodded his head as tears fell down.
"Kaa-san always sick, ever since she was young…" He said. "I couldn't leave her just like that…she's always doing her best for me, even in such condition…so I…" Sakuma held Miyoshi as he cried, leaving the words ended just like that.
"When I thought of this child, I remember how kaa-san was alone and she only have me in this world as a family…that's why…that's why I couldn't abort the child and keep it within me…"
"I'm sorry for your lost…" Sakuma said. "I'm sorry…"
Miyoshi did not saying anything, just cry. Right now, all he really wanted was a comfort from someone after so many incidents happened in his life. Just like his encounter with the mysterious man that night…
"I shouldn't leave you that night…"
Huh…what!?
Miyoshi snapped his head up, staring at Sakuma's calm face with shock. Suddenly his mind went back almost two months ago; during the night where he had an intimate moment with the mysterious man who knew had left him alone after their heated night…
Co-could it be…?!
"That's right," Sakuma said. "I was the man who saved you that night, then claimed you, before I left you for my mission…"
Miyoshi stared with wide eyes, slowly, an anger emerged inside him as he asked, shaking, "You…you're the one…that night…?"
"That's right."
"After you promise me that you won't leave me….why…!?" Miyoshi felt angry, betrayed…many negative emotions appeared inside him as he cried harder than before.
"Why didn't you…why didn't you come back!? Why did you leave me like that, all alone!?" He cried, tears already strained down his face. "You promise to stay with me! You promise you won't leave me alone! You promise me! You…you…!"
Miyoshi's tone increased as well as his anger, started to hit Sakuma who tried his best to stop Miyoshi from getting out of control. He knew it was his fault too, for leaving Miyoshi 6 years ago and after their one night stand, but he also know that adding more fuel to the already enrage Miyoshi can be dangerous too. According to Yuge-sensei, the Omegas; male or female, when they entered the pregnancy stage, their hormones will become unstable like normal woman and can cause them being too emotional and they cannot control it. There were some Omegas still can control themselves during their pregnancy, however in Miyoshi's case he already faced several problems that adding the stress on his body; Sakuma knew Miyoshi had reach his limits and was losing it that he needed to be the one remained calm and rational.
"I hate you! I hate you!"
"Miyoshi…please…" Sakuma tried to calm down the emotional Miyoshi while stopping the hits.
"You…! You lie to me…! I –I shouldn't…believe in…you!" He cried louder. "I-I…trust you…! But…! Yo-you…!"
Sakuma noted that while trying to hit him, Miyoshi's breathing started to become heavy and uneven, signs he detected as having panic attack. Therefore, he quickly grabbed one of Miyoshi's hands, wrapped his other arm around his shoulders and slammed their lips against each other.
Miyoshi's eyes widened in shock as Sakuma's lips claimed his in a bruising kiss. His mind suddenly went blank and everything that was haunting him washed away in an instant. All he could feel was the warming sensation that spread throughout his body. He could feel himself immediately relax into Sakuma's embrace and with it, his body settled down. He felt his lungs loosen up and by the time Sakuma pulled away from his face, he found himself breathing normally.
Sakuma slowly cupped his face before gently wiping the tears with his thumbs. The tears did not stop though, but Sakuma still held Miyoshi's face in his hands.
"I know that…I've hurt your feelings by leaving behind that time and…broke our promise many times…" He said, as he looked straight to Miyoshi's brown orbs. The beautiful eyes he always loved…
"I didn't mean to break our promise. The reasons why I left the Dark World, and leaving everyone behind years ago…are to protect Odagiri and Hatano as well as to escape from the aftermath from serious accusation that Odagiri was accused on," Explained Sakuma as Miyoshi widened his eyes in shock. "It was due to circumstances reasons, not because I was coward or something…"
"Circumstances…of what…?" Asked Miyoshi as Sakuma slowly released his face.
Sakuma sighed as he remembered the incident that led his eyes open to the world of hypocrite and lies and how easy a trust can betrayed, "Do you remember when Odagiri was suddenly summoned not long after the end of the year's final exam?"
A nod.
"That time, he was called by the Vice-Principal Mutou to the office where two police officers came to take him away. It was a coincident that I was about to enter the office when I overheard that Odagiri was accused of trying to violate Hatano –"
"That's absurd!"
"But it did, and he almost got taken away if I didn't step in and stop them. Mutou was actually trying to find any fault in our class in order to take down Yuuki-san, so he believed Odagiri's case is the perfect one. I was the one who interfere with the things he wanted to do, but what we never expect that he cooperated with Hatano's father to spread rumors among the teachers about Odagiri had sexually assaulted his son two days before. Some of the teachers did not like Odagiri, so these people treated him horribly and even harassed him outside; making the neighbourhood he lived treated him like a real criminal. He stopped coming to school after that, and when I came to visit him one day, he already cut his wrist and almost died…"
Miyoshi widened his eyes, never expected the events that happened with Odagiri. While he not very close to Odagiri unlike Fukumoto and Sakuma, he cared for him, as he was one of few people that befriended him sincerely.
"The situation got worst as I found him almost died from blood lost, and when he woke up from unconsciousness, he cried and told me everything that happened. He actually went to Hatano's house to give him some of his notes, when he saw a group of men was sexually abused Hatano at his home along with his father. He jumped in and trying to save Hatano, causing a small fight before they managed to leave the house. I was there when I met them and helped them to get away but I don't know what exactly happened. After that, I reported the incident to our King and Hatano was kept under his custody when Odagiri was summoned to the office. His father accused Odagiri for sexual assault while in reality; he had been the one who sold his own son for money."
"When the truth came out, I started to get stalk by strangers whom I know were done by Hatano's father, following me whenever I go and I was confront by Yuuki-san after that. He asked me to take both Hatano and Odagiri away from Dark World once the semester ended, and he helped us to find settlement in Human World. He also helped us to fight against the accusations that led to the arrest of Hatano's father and his underlings, but the cruel treatments towards Odagiri still continue and Hatano was scared as well, so I decided to take Yuuki-san's advice and left with them after Hatano's last day at school…"
Miyoshi say nothing as he clutched some of the fabric on Sakuma's chest, trying to accept the information he had received. He finally understood why Sakuma suddenly left them along with Odagiri and Hatano, yet he still felt it was unfair to be leaving behind like that.
"Why didn't you tell me…?" Asked Miyoshi as tears gathered on his eyes again. Sakuma kissed his forehead gently as he continued his words.
"It was too fast, and I need to consider both Hatano's and Odagiri's mental state as they really refused to stay behind any longer. Odagiri survived his attempt suicide but his emotional state was still weak, and Hatano was suffering from the same trauma as well. I need to go to some place where they can heal properly, and when I contacted my maternal grandmother, she asked us to come. We lived there ever since."
"Lots of things happened after that, and somewhere along the way I started to work part-time as a member of HUNTER Organization where it started operated whole world several years ago. I was shock to find Yuuki-san is the member of Japan branch in Tokyo but I felt grateful for his help. Not long ago we received a case where a group of men targeting young people from Dark World, especially the Omegas for human trafficking, so when we finally got the clues of where these men gathered, we collaborated with some of the Natsume Guardians to catch them for good. One of them, Naoki-san, went undercover as a bartender to make sure the information we received was true and contacted us after that."
The Guardians of Natsume…the group of Special and Chosen Guardians who fought for the freedom of Dark World from Kurokaze's iron claw's rule decades ago. Miyoshi wondered how much time passed in Human World since the war, as he knew the Dark World's timeline was faster than Human World.
"But that time, when I met you at the bar, I was taken at the sight of you being a fine young man, but with obvious signs of you having something big that disturbing you. I knew you're a proud person, strong, capable of handling people who're looking down at you…but that night…aside from feeling the pheromone that indicates the sign of an 'Omega' in heat, I didn't see you as 'Miyoshi'…instead, I saw… a sad, broken young man; nobody was there for him, care for him, no protection…it was the same sad feeling whenever I found you but worse than before. So I was mad, at myself and to those men that tried to molest you, so I punched one of them and took you into my arms…"
"Is that why you're sleeping with me? Because I'm just a sad, broken young man?" Asked Miyoshi horridly as tears fell down. Sakuma shook his head in regret, and looked straight into Miyoshi's eyes.
"Because I miss you," Sakuma said as Miyoshi's eyes went wide. "I miss you so much that when I met you again in such condition, I was mad seeing those bastards touched you with their filthy hands. I felt like I want you all for myself, claiming you, making you as mine…but I had to stop myself from jumping on you and took you by force. I knew there were several cases where an Alpha took an Omega by force, and surely, I don't want you to have the same fate as your mother. I could see that when I saw you almost got molested. Besides, a certain young girl will kill me for good for having such things in mind, which I doubt she's going to let me away alive…" Sakuma shivered in fear as he remembered the danger of a certain girl.
Miyoshi could not help but felt a pang of jealousy on this girl Sakuma was talking. However, seeing the fear in his eyes made Miyoshi believed that Sakuma did not hold any special feelings to her…
"You then threw up on my suit," Said Sakuma, causing Miyoshi blushed a bit. "So I had no choice but to take you to the nearby inn along with my supervisor Tatsuya-san. Then we found out one of those men managed to run away, and he left me alone with you to catch the culprit. You woke up after that, crying…I tried to stop myself from taking advantages on you, but you…you looked so lonely, you really seem like you need someone to comfort you, so I finally gave in when you cling on me…" Sakuma blushed a little. "…Besides, I also under 'rut' influence so I just…do it without thinking the consequences, I'm such an idiot…!"
"Then, why did you leave me just like that…?"
"Dangerous circumstances happened that night," Sakuma said. "The runaway man had killed one of the people from Magic World who helped us and Tatsuya-san requested my assistance at once. It was really hard to leave you…but I got no choice. Therefore, I did whatever I can to make sure you are all right and can go home safely, and left for help. But I couldn't really forget you even after that, wondering about you, your life…almost like a sick man you know…" He cupped Miyoshi's face, making the young lad's heart beat faster than before.
"So much in love with you that I couldn't dare to leave you again, Miyoshi…"
Miyoshi stared at Sakuma; too shock to hear such confession. Sakuma slowly smiled, as he leaned down and kissed him softly. Miyoshi was shocked when Sakuma suddenly kissed him. Miyoshi, however, did not resisting and instead, slowly closed his eyes, trying to feel the warm of each other.
As they broke the kiss, Miyoshi opened his eyes and looked straight into Sakuma's black eyes. There was nothing but love inside them. A single tear fell down, and Sakuma wasted no time to wipe it.
"I'm sorry for what had happen, Miyoshi…"
Miyoshi shook his head, too embarrass that he buried his face onto Sakuma's chest, still having hiccups and sobbing. Sakuma held him as he kept on stroking his back, occasionally kissed his head. Miyoshi refused to look up, and Sakuma knew aside from seeking protection and comfort, Miyoshi's refusal to look at him was due to his flushed and tears-stain face, that he believed he looks so ugly he rather die. Sakuma tried his best to hold his laugh, because despite the situation, he still found it too cute for Miyoshi pouting on such matter. He tightened his hold, letting Miyoshi to be calm. He wait for a while when finally Miyoshi had calm down, his hiccups and sobs less than before, when he finally spoke.
"Miyoshi…"
"….…Hmm…?"
"…"
"…"
"Let's get married."
End of Chapter 03
Hints or Explanations:
(1) Katana –A type of Japanese sword. Historically, katana (刀) were one of the traditionally made Japanese swords (日本刀 nihonto) that were worn by the samurai class of feudal Japan, also commonly referred to as a "samurai sword". The katana is characterized by its distinctive appearance: a curved, slender, single-edged blade with a circular or squared guard and long grip to accommodate two hands. It has historically been associated with the samurai of feudal Japan, and has become renowned for its sharpness and strength.
The mysterious girl who appeared in the flashback was holding this type of sword, and it was believed that she is a sword master.
To be honest, this chapter is really difficult to make since it has to be done through the perspectives of people being confused and vulnerable (Miyoshi), having secrets that conflicted yourselves (Sakuma), how to make the confession, the fights between two people (the consequences) and reconciliation that finally led to the chapter's conclusion. Since so far nobody has ever done a very weak and vulnerable Miyoshi (correct me if I'm wrong), I hope everyone could give me your opinion regarding this chapter.
Thank you for those who read this story, I really appreciate it.
–Aoi Kitsukawa.