Together
Chapter Four
Date
Kawaki wondered how many times in his life he would act without thinking and get himself into a load of trouble. This was far from the first time and more than likely wouldn't be the last. It was all too much of a bother and one of the reasons he'd decided to become a better person, so he wouldn't end up in this place again. A lot was happening but time seemed to be dragging by. When he was finally faced with a judge, it was up in the air if he would make bail. She wasn't happy with him, an old woman with a stern face—one he'd stood before in the past as well, though she wasn't the only judge who had dealt with him.
All of his past offenses were looked into and she tusked and sighed as she went over every minor detail. Kawaki feared the worst, and his relief at learning he would make bail was short lived when she explained what could happen if he was found guilty, which he was. He would definitely be getting time this round. If he was lucky, she said, a year at least. Five years was what he was facing and to Kawaki that sounded like his whole life.
Depression seized him long before he was back in the holding cell. There were too many fears, too much regret and yet all he could think about was getting high—living his life to the fullest without giving a damn. Why not? He was about to be put away for a long time. Maybe he just needed to let loose and enjoy himself before then. Get wasted. Get laid. He could make it happen and he had faith that he would be bailed out with time to do so before his court date that had yet to be decided.
It turned out that they were already working on it. Only moments after returning to the cell did an officer come for him. His things were returned to him and he was a free man for a little while longer before the real sentence would begin. Resolving himself, Kawaki walked through the station, being escorted by one of the correctional officers.
Once he was shown to the lobby, the officer left him and Kawaki walked ahead. The exit was on his mind, but he pushed it aside when he saw his support group waiting anxiously in a waiting area. They all looked so relieved to see him, but Kawaki didn't have it in him to be happy along with them. He was glad everyone else was happy and okay and calm, but Kawaki had already shifted. He wasn't the same man he had been earlier that day.
Inojin and Hōki were the first ones out of their seats, rushing Kawaki and hugging him tight around his middle. He sighed when the blond apologized repeatedly and Kawaki patted his head, assuring him that everything was fine, even though it wasn't. No matter what he was facing, he knew he was the only one at fault here. He would never blame anyone else, especially not Inojin. The rest of the crew got to their feet as well and Kawaki's gaze zeroed in on the blond with the dark sunglasses who really hadn't wanted to let him go.
Kawaki's chest ached as Boruto stood with his cane, facing him directly with a deep frown on his face. He was listening to Inojin's frantic apologies and Kawaki's attempts to soothe him, but it was obvious Boruto was struggling to keep his distance. He'd been worried about Kawaki too and he'd been so angry about what happened… if only he knew just how bad things were, Kawaki could imagine he'd truly be upset. He wouldn't tell him though, or anyone. He didn't want any of them getting upset or worrying about him. It was already over. He'd worked so hard to change and it was all for naught.
"I'm fine. You guys came to my rescue faster than I could hope." Kawaki smiled reassuringly and spoke as if he were perfectly at ease. It was only on the inside that he was screaming, lost and desperate to escape his personal hell. There was always a quick fix. He just needed to escape his friends so he could find it.
Boruto wasn't sure what it was exactly, but something was off in Kawaki's voice. He could hear it clear as day but had no idea what it meant. Perhaps he was just shaken up. Maybe the experience had brought back bad memories, ones that the blond wasn't aware of. There was a lot about Kawaki that he didn't know. However, he knew him well enough to know he wasn't fine. The blond wasn't doing that well himself and was surprised by his own protectiveness. The others were relieved now . . . but he realized the same thing Shikadai had. It wasn't over this easily, it wouldn't be over so soon. Those petty bastards were going to press charges and Kawaki would have to go to court.
Not wanting to rain on everyone else's parade and rescue mission, Boruto made his way out of the simple building to wait outside. Kawaki watched him leave, telling himself it was for the best. His interest in the blond had been pure, at least that's what he thought… but now he knew the truth. There was nothing pure about him, he couldn't possibly have good intentions and Boruto was way too good for him anyway. Somehow though, even with his heart and mind going insane, he couldn't shake the need to go after him.
Whether he was okay or not, he wanted Boruto and everyone else to be okay. They were all he cared about in the world anymore and he wanted them to do well, even if the same wasn't possible for himself. Did he really want their last moments together as a group to be bad? No. He wanted to make good memories… that was all he'd ever wanted. They had already made some, but now was his last chance. He at least wanted to be remembered as the man Hōki and Inojin saw him to be, and maybe Boruto too, instead of the man he really was. They didn't seem to think he'd done any wrong, but Kawaki knew better.
He also knew he would do so much worse.
Kawaki removed himself politely from the two cinnamon rolls he'd grown to love and was the first one to walk out behind Boruto. He didn't think anything was keeping them here, so he was surprised when the group didn't follow him out immediately. He wouldn't complain though. It was wrong of him, but he wanted even just one moment alone with the blind man.
Boruto was leaning against the building, still and quiet as Kawaki walked over to him. His heart was pounding while also feeling as if it was shattering. He was hurting. It hurt so fucking much but there was no cure for this pain. He barely even knew Boruto at all and yet he wanted to drop down on his knees and beg to be forgiven. He had wanted so badly to be the one to give the blond hope, to make him happy and support him always, but it all had to be stolen away from him.
It wasn't stolen though, was it? Kawaki had thrown it all away.
He was shaking with fear and anxiety and the urge he had thought was so far behind him now. He couldn't break down now though. Just one more memory and he could let go.
"Boruto?" He called, voice trembling despite his desperation to keep it steady.
As to be expected the shorter man was upset, angry even, but not at Kawaki. "What's going to happen?" He asked. "They have to have told you something, right? How . . . how bad is it?"
Kawaki was touched by Boruto's concern, enough that his heart clenched in his chest. However, he didn't want to worry him. Of course not, so he forced out a light laugh and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Seems like everything is going to work out. I was worried over nothing, so you don't need to worry either. I'm a free man." It hurt to lie, but it also felt right.
Boruto could tell something was still off, hear it just like he could hear that damn squeaking stress ball when no one else could. "Are you sure that's all?" He pressed. "Is that really it?"
"Yes." Kawaki lied easily. It was so easy to be a bad person, he supposed it was just who he was. "But I… wanted to ask… today. Could we cook together?" His heart had been set on it and he hoped to make it happen before he completely surrendered to the darkness.
He was still holding something back, but Boruto let it go. He let his anger go and his frustrations. For once it happened easily and he was able to take a deep breath and control his temper, Kawaki didn't need him blowing up right now. He needed support and even though Boruto couldn't believe he was thinking something so corny, that's what he was there for. He was part of the group now and he wanted to be there for Kawaki.
"Yeah. Let's go on that date."
"Really?" Kawaki smiled, heart speeding up even more. "Is it okay…? Could we have it at my place and I take you home after… or your sister can come pick you up?" He must have sounded crazy, there was no way Boruto trusted him enough and it was dangerous… he couldn't even see. Going to a new place had to be the last thing he was comfortable with.
Boruto nodded, a smile of his own appearing at the more honesty and happy tone of Kawaki's voice. "Alright. I'll call and let her know." She would be ecstatic to learn he was going over to someone's house, he could already hear he freaking out. "It would be easier if you could drive me back . . . she works late."
"That sounds great. Thank you."
This truly made him happy—knowing he could have one last wholesome memory and with someone as endearing as Boruto. Tonight, he would be happy. He would forget the darkness and ignore his demons until he had to say goodbye.
Other than his excitement, everything else was pushed aside. Kawaki was focused wholly on his date with Boruto and making sure it was absolutely perfect. Shikadai was kind enough to drop them off at the market down from Kawaki's apartment and Boruto didn't seem bothered by Kawaki leading him while holding onto his hand. His hand other carried an empty basket as he glanced over the shelves, unsure what they should get.
"What would you like to cook?" Kawaki asked as they wandered down the isles. "I'm not really picky."
The blond wasn't sure, perhaps something easy since he was out of practice. "Spaghetti?" He suggested and held his retracted cane under his arm. His nose was starting to itch, making him scrunch his face. "Are we in the spice aisle?"
"Whoa, you're good." Kawaki chuckled and reached over to poke Boruto's nose playfully. "We're almost through it now."
"Not really . . . just heightened senses and all that." Boruto said and barely held back a sneeze as they walked past the black pepper. "If we have to pass any cheese, leave me behind. I don't want to risk smelling any of that imported stuff that stinks. Limbergur, I think."
Kawaki smiled, trying to watch where he was going, but it was hard when he just wanted to stare at Boruto. He helped him along, finally finding the isle they needed. "I don't think we have to go over there." He said as he stopped in front of the noodles. "What kind of noodles do you prefer?"
"Thin." Boruto told him. "And ragu tomato sauce." If they were going to do this then they would do it right. He might not have touched a stove in two years, but that didn't mean he forgot what things were the good stuff. Ragu was the only way to go.
"Okay, traditional?" Kawaki asked, having already grabbed the noodles and led them down to the sauce. "Is it really necessary to have so many different kinds?"
"Yeah. More than half of them taste like shit." Boruto said even if he couldn't see what brands were there. When they came to a stop, he waited as Kawaki looked for the right sauce. "Did you check the expiration date?" He asked when he heard it drop into the basket.
Kawaki blinked and picked the sauce back up to check the date on it. Once he found it, he set it back in the basket. "Yep. It's good."
"Alright . . . we still need meat but, what else do you like with it?" Boruto asked, deciding that he wanted to try to make it to the other man's taste.
"Hmm…" It has been a while since he had spaghetti but when he thought about it, he liked it with anything really. "Can we add onions and peppers?"
The blond nodded. "Sure. Lead the way."
"Gladly." Kawaki grinned and held onto his hand a little tighter as they moved to the vegetables. He brought Boruto over to the onions and looked them over. "We only need a small one, right?"
Boruto's eyes were starting to water, but he stepped closer and let go of Kawaki's hand to feel them for himself. A few he brought up to his face to sniff, but he put it in front of the taller man for the last bit of confirmation. "This one. Does it look alright?"
"It looks perfect." Kawaki smiled and took it to place it in the basket, quickly taking the blond's hand again. "Peppers are here."
The blond did the same with the peppers and then handed a couple to Kawaki to examine and add to the basket. Then they went and grabbed the beef. "Okay . . . that's everything." It had been a lot easier to shop than Boruto thought and gave him a little confidence about doing it again on his own.
"Great. Shopping makes me more hungry." Kawaki mused as they walked to the check out. Once he paid for everything, he collected the bags in his left hand, still holding onto Boruto's with his right. "Sorry about all the walking. I don't live far so I walk most places. But I will be able to drive you home."
"It's alright, I need to get more fresh air anyway." Boruto confessed, having been told that many times in the past. Stuck in the apartment all day and all night . . . another factor to his temper problem.
"Ah. Fresh air is good. It helps me calm down sometimes. That, and the stress ball." Only now, Boruto was what was calming him down and the fact that he wasn't letting himself think of any of those bad thoughts. Not yet. "I guess you don't get out a lot, huh?"
"No." The blue eyed man admitted, but maybe that would change now that he was trying to change.
Walking down the sidewalk was starting to bring back memories of that first year after he lost his sight. The sound of the cars was maddening and scary, tripping over cracks in the concrete was frustrating. Simply walking around was one of the few things Boruto pushed himself to learn before he got too angry and said fuck it. It was a lot easier now even if he had to use his wretched cane, though it was more than easy like this. Boruto only accepted help when he wanted it. Knowing he was limited was one of his biggest triggers, but this was nice. All he had to do was follow and let Kawaki lead. He didn't have to worry about anything . . . and Kawaki's hand was so warm.
Thinking about it made his face start to heat up, we're on a date.
"I wish… we could do more." Kawaki said hesitantly. He did wish they could, but it just wasn't possible anymore. They only had tonight.
"We'll see." Boruto said with a small smile. He was trying to change, but it wouldn't be smooth sailing all the time. "It depends on if you can talk me into it."
Though his heart ached at the loss he anticipated, a soft, sad smile came to his lips. "I bet I could…"
"Oh yeah? What do you bet?" He asked curiously.
"Anything. Everything." Kawaki sighed. He could just feel it. If only the world wasn't so against him.
While Boruto didn't know the reasons behind it, he could still sense the emotions in Kawaki's sigh. This was a good distraction and all, but it was obvious the situation was nagging at the other man's mind. "Everything, huh? Even Iwabe wouldn't make that bet."
"Well, Iwabe loses pretty often." Kawaki shook his head at the thought. "But I don't. I only bet if I already know the outcome."
"If you're so confident about it, then I'll take you up on that." Boruto said before adding, "When you invite me to do something . . . I'll say no and you'll have to give me everything."
"Or you could say yes and still get everything." Kawaki suggested softly.
Boruto laughed at the idea. "So either way I win? Sounds good to me."
"Me too." Kawaki murmured, knowing it was just wishful thinking, but it still made him happy.
After ten minutes, they finally arrived at his apartment and he explained where everything was on the way to the kitchen. He set the bags on the counter and released Boruto's hand, almost going to pull everything out but then he stopped himself.
"Will you unload the bags while I get the pots ready?"
Pleasantly surprised by the question, the blond set his cane down before agreeing to help him get set up. Kawaki busied himself with getting the pots on the stove, his eyes constantly drifting to Boruto. He was taking his time pulling everything out and setting it on the counter and once he was finished, he crumbled up the plastic bags and started feeling around as he moved. He was looking for the garbage can, Kawaki assumed and he wanted to help, but he also wanted to let Boruto do it himself.
"The trash is on the end, under the counter." He explained, wanting to make it easier without just doing it himself.
Boruto followed his instructions and put the bags in after his hand touched the top of the can. Satisfied, he went about familiarizing himself with the kitchen and gauging the size of the room.
"It's not too big, but it's just me, so… it's enough." Kawaki explained as he got his cutting board out and a suitable knife.
"It's very clean." Boruto said, offering some kind of observation.
"Thank you. Cleaning keeps me busy." And less frustrated. "Will you come help me with the vegetables?"
Right, they were here so Kawaki could teach him how to cook again. Boruto went towards Kawaki's voice and came to a stop beside him, standing in front of the counter. He didn't put his hands on the smooth surface yet, knowing the other man had grabbed some things. It would be best not to start knocking things over or cutting himself by mistake.
"I'm ready."
Kawaki got everything ready to be chopped and then pulled Boruto in front of him, placing the knife in his right hand. "You have to watch me or else I'll cut myself." He said teasingly.
"Or I'll end up cutting both of us." Boruto said and brushed his left hand over the onion, grasping it properly the next instant. "Should I just go for it?" Cutting it straight down the middle was doubtful, but maybe he could get close.
"I'll help." Kawaki smiled, letting his left hand lay over Boruto's to help him hold it. "You can feel with your hand here, just work under your hand. It will help you know where you are." Together, they slid the knife over the onion and sliced it down the center. "Even here," he helped Boruto turn one side of the onion to the now flat side and kept his hand on it. "Feel your way through."
Boruto was paying attention, but the whole set up was . . . distracting. He didn't notice it before, didn't remember if he ever had the chance to, but he fit perfectly into Kawaki's arms.
They sliced and diced, taking their time until the task was complete and Kawaki set the knife in the sink, sniffling. "Shit." His eyes were watering like hell and he was finally remembering why he hadn't cut onions in forever.
He wasn't the only one whose face was turning into a waterfall, Boruto was having just as hard a time if not worse due to his sensitive sense of smell. "Was it always like this? Damn it." He sniffed as well and took off his sunglasses to wipe at his eyes. "Almost burns."
Kawaki wiped his eyes and looked at Boruto, smiling wide at the sight of his eyes all red and watery. It didn't take away from how beautiful they were. "Poor baby." He said teasingly as he reached for the beef.
"As if yours aren't red and miserable too." Boruto stated with a huff.
"They are, it's just not a cute look for me. You pull it off though." He laughed and carried the beef over to the stove, dropping it in the pot. "You okay enough to bring over the cutting board so we can add everything in?"
The blond hummed, putting his glasses back on before he carefully picked up the cutting board. "Let me know when you're ready."
Kawaki sulked a bit when Boruto put his shades back on, but decided not to say anything. "Ready." He told him and Boruto carefully dumped the onions and peppers in. Kawaki quickly added some seasoning and then covered the pot, having it set low. "Come here, we can wash our hands and then sit while we wait."
The shorter man went along with him to the sink to wash up and then was taken into the living room. After they sat down on the plush couch, Boruto noted that the other man was sitting closer than he needed to by the strength of his cologne.
"Thanks for doing this." Boruto ended saying. He really did appreciate it.
"Are you kidding? I'm the one that's thankful." Kawaki chuckled and quickly ruffled Boruto's hair before standing back up. "I just remembered, I have something for you."
"What?" He didn't know they were doing gifts.
"Just wait here," Kawaki said before disappearing down the hallway, leaving Boruto to listen to his steps. He only stopped for a few seconds before he returned and sat back down, even closer this time. Boruto could hear something, like thick paper rolling around. "Give me your hand."
Boruto did as he was told, having no clue what it could be. Kawaki moved his hand forward, pulling him until he had to lean forward and then his hand laid over the paper on the coffee table. However, he could feel something on the paper, thick, smooth and prominent.
"Well go on, feel around it." Kawaki said excitedly.
Boruto's curiosity was growing by the second and he traced over the almost 3D lines and curves darting around. He reached out with his other hand as well to help him picture the shapes in his mind, the motion oddly familiar. Soon it hit him what he was touching though there was no way he should have been able to feel the paint to this degree, unless . . . unless Kawaki did something to it. He made it like this so Boruto could see it.
"Our finger painting . . ." The blond trailed quietly, still running his finger tips over the ridges.
"Yeah," Kawaki sighed wistfully. "It's an important memory." One he would never forget.
Boruto couldn't contain his grin. "It doesn't look half bad, not at all."
"I know." Kawaki agreed. "It's actually pretty badass. I just really wanted you to see it too…"
He was glad he did, it was amazing he made this work just so Boruto could see what it looked like. It made it clear that the grey eyed man cared, that he wanted to ensure he was included anyway he could. It was honestly a really sweet gesture.
"I'm really happy you like it." Kawaki said, loving how Boruto continued to feel the painting with that big smile. He was too cute. "I'll go check the food."
After seeing to the meat and vegetables, Kawaki got himself and Boruto a bottle of water and then walked back into the living room and sat back on the couch. The blond accepted the bottle as his mind started racing. He didn't have a gift and a thank you wouldn't be enough, it was worth more than some grateful words. An idea popped into his head and he decided to go through with it before he could back out. Boruto reached over and touched Kawaki's arm, moving it up until he was cupping his jaw. Then he leaned over and kissed him on the cheek though he ended up pecking him closer to his mouth than he intended.
Kawaki sucked in a quick breath, heart screeching to a halt. He wasn't expecting that, not even a little. And why… "w-what was that for?" He asked, neck heating up.
"The painting." Boruto explained as he turned his head to hide his face, drinking from his water bottle to cool down.
"Oh." Kawaki whispered, still surprised but just as thrilled. He really shouldn't have been so happy. It would only make things hurt more. "Thanks." His hand raised, fingers grazing over the side of his mouth where he'd been kissed. Even with those damn shades on, Boruto was so cute.
"No problem." Boruto smiled, but couldn't turn back to him just yet. His face was still warm and his lips tingled a little. I can't believe I made the first move.
"Are you hiding from me now?" Kawaki leaned closer to him, bumping their shoulders. "Come on,"
"I don't hide." Boruto insisted, but his smile only grew.
"Yeah? Then let me look at you."
Boruto turned his head for a second and then turned it away again. "There."
Kawaki laughed, finding his cuteness to be almost too much. "That wasn't enough… and there's something on your face."
"No there isn't." Boruto protested and brought a hand to his face to check.
During his investigation, his sunglasses were stolen, Kawaki setting them aside on the coffee table. "Got it."
"You're ridiculous." Boruto chuckled before relenting what turned into a silly game and faced Kawaki. "Now you see me."
"I like seeing you." Kawaki said, leaning forward to press his lips against the blond's cheek. He didn't kiss him though, only lingered there, smiling like an idiot.
Somehow this was even more embarrassing than the kiss, but the smile was what made his heart beat faster. "You're ridiculous."
"You already said that," Kawaki mused, not bothering to pull his lips away from Boruto's smooth cheek. "But go on, tell me more."
"Shut up." The blond said in an attempt to hide how flustered he was getting, but he knew it was pretty pointless. The feel of Kawaki's lips was maddening, but he didn't dare move in spite of his rapid pulse. "A-are . . . are you going to kiss me or not?"
Kawaki cocked a brow in surprise. Boruto just kept doing the unexpected and everything was making Kawaki crazy. He asked that like he definitely wouldn't mind being kissed… maybe he wanted to be. Instead of asking, Kawaki just went for it, kissing his date fully on the lips. Even though he asked him to do it, Boruto was still taken unawares. His hands fisted his pant legs at the thighs and he closed his eyes. There was no point in denying it now, he liked Kawaki. He enjoyed being in the other man's presence and hearing his voice. He was learning something new from him all the time, be it about him or himself or life in general. It had been awhile since he let someone get close enough to be his friend and now . . . now he had something more.
Not wanting to push his luck, Kawaki pulled back and Boruto's head followed the movement for a second. That made the taller man laugh softly and he placed another quick kiss to his lips. "You're really sweet Boruto. I'm happy you agreed to this date."
"Sweet? The only person that thinks that is you." Boruto smiled as he opened his eyes. "But I'm happy we're doing this too."
Standing up, Kawaki grabbed Boruto's hand and pulled him to his feet. "We better get our spaghetti finished up." He suggested and the two of them went into the kitchen together.
While Kawaki put some water on to boil for the noodles, Boruto added the sauce to the beef and vegetables, taking his time to mix it well. He was capable and it really made Kawaki happy to see him at ease. It felt good to know other people were feeling free and for some reason it felt even better when he thought about Boruto.
For the next twenty minutes, they talked about the group, Kawaki telling Boruto more about all their friends. It was important to know about each other, but Kawaki wanted him to understand them, he wanted him to be comfortable with them, so they would all help each other when he wasn't around anymore.
Boruto fixed their bowls and Kawaki carried them over to the bar. They ate mostly in silence, but it wasn't an uncomfortable one and they did occasionally make comments on how good it was. They both thought they'd outdone themselves and it had been fun cooking together.
"I don't think I should have had the second bowl." Kawaki groaned as soon as they'd transitioned to the couch.
"I tried to tell you." Boruto chuckled, leaning back to get more comfortable. "You ate too fast too."
"Ugh, it was so good." Kawaki whined in his defense. "Don't call me out anymore."
This time the blond full on laughed and reached over to poke the other man's stomach. "Do you always eat like this?"
"...no."
As if that was convincing. "Poor thing."
"Stop it." Kawaki huffed. "I was excited, okay. I just need a minute."
It had been delicious and a good first attempt at cooking again for Boruto, but Kawaki had been a big help. "You did a great job." He told him.
Kawaki smiled, eyes closing softly as he leaned over and rested his head against Boruto's. "You were the one who did everything." He said. "I really loved it. You're an excellent cook."
"Thank you." Boruto said and decided to make another bold move today, snuggling up against the other man. It was a date, after all. He was a cuddler though he would never admit it.
"Are you having fun?" The question was asked softly, curiously, with an underlying tone that was almost sad. No matter how great the date was, it was obvious there was still something on Kawaki's mind.
"Are you having fun?" Boruto asked and hoped he wasn't starting to think about the day's earlier events, but he knew he probably was. He couldn't blame him.
"I am." Kawaki assured him with a smile and moved his arm around Boruto, wanting him even closer. He had to enjoy it while he could. "I wish it never had to end."
"And keep me here forever? Isn't that kidnapping?" Boruto teased, but knew what he meant. "Making good memories . . . we can always keep doing that, can't we?" It's what was helping him cope and deal with his issues. It's what saved him, Kawaki and the group was saving him.
Kawaki hummed softly. "I guess that would be kind of like kidnapping. I like making good memories, Boruto. I'm really grateful that I met you… but…" he stopped himself, near panicking at his almost slip. He couldn't tell him, he had to keep him happy and if the word vomit started it probably wouldn't end.
"But?" Boruto pressed.
"Ah, b-but nothing…" he stammered, hugging the blond a little tighter to his chest. "Just… thank you." Kawaki parted his lips to place a tender kiss to the top of his forehead and then repeated, "thank you." with nothing but sincerity.
He meant it from the bottom of his heart.