"I'm all alone."

Mike presses his lips together. He knew it was going to be hard to read the raw emotion that the other Mike had written down. Let's face it Mike, there is no other Mike. There's just me. We were all alone. All of us. But somehow we are able to find El. I know Max and I were going out, but I admit now that it was fading. I was going to be alone.

"Lucas has Max, Dustin has Suzie. I mean, both are pretty girls, but not my type. I don't even know what my type is. I guess I'll know when I see her. Doesn't really make any difference though. No girl is going to want to go out with the frogface. I know I look goofy. I see myself in the mirror everyday. I told mom about it, and she said I'll just get more handsome (yeah, that was actually the word she used) as I get older. Maybe. But for now I'm the frogface. And this stupid frigging haircut isn't helping either. Mom keeps having it straightened. I think i could talk her out of it though. No. I'm all alone."

Mike thought the pages of the leather journal looked like they'd been water stained, but after reading the page he realized they were tears that had fallen. He had been really lonely when he'd written this.

He read pages of it. It was tough to read. How do you go through your teens being that lonely? I don't know, but I did it. Maybe it's made me appreciate the love of a girl even more. Whenever that happens.

He thought about the ride back when Max had asked El about her hair. She'd mentioned the lab again and Mike thought he would lose it right there. He couldn't look at her. If he did, he would have started blubbering. How can anyone treat another human being that way? When he'd heard her story at Lucas and Max's place- and that reminds me, I'll have to ask them how they came to be in my parents old house- she'd been very stoic recounting her abuse there. I promise you El, even if we are never together, I mean, I'm starting to think that we belong together now, that we were put here because we are soulmates, but even if we don't get together, I'll be your friend and never treat you badly. I'll dedicate my life to making you smile. I promise.

Even though, she'd been, oh what's the word? Bitchy. Yup, definitely bitchy, I told her I was hungry and I was going to about to do a bad western twang style accent and say I would ' rustle up some grub' , but she cut me off and told me to figure it out, then left for the bedroom. It didn't bother him. It was hormones and there wasn't a lot she could do about it.

If nothing else I figured out the toaster, I was surprised to find Eggos in the freezer, probably my second favourite breakfast option. A little while later I was putting Eggos in the toaster and heard her come out from the bedroom . "It's all I really know how to make."

"What are the blankets for?" I asked her.

"I'll make up the sofa for you." She looked a little sheepish, or maybe guilty. I didn't say anything she'd had a really bad day.

"You don't have to do that El."

"Yes I do, Mike." She looked very determined so I didn't want to challenge her.

"Well, thanks. Those blankets look warm." She gave me a little smile when I thanked her. That smile. No way to describe it really, other that it makes my heart hurt a little. Face it Mike, you want to kiss her. You could just have walked over to her and kissed her. Sure, Mike, and that would have ended any chance of getting to know her more, or be with her.

Mike continued reading.

The painful entries went on for a year of pages. Mike had been bitterly alone. He'd become a little cynical and developed a mostly negative attitude about everything. Have I been this lonely in every universe? Probably. All I know is that the girl who wants to be with me will never regret it. Sure we may have problems, every relationship does, but I promise that girl I will do everything to work things out. If that's you, El. It's another promise. I keep my promises.

He was starting to get a little depressed reading all the negative things he'd written down And then one entry stood out for him, and lifted his heart.

"I was sitting at the Party Table today and I looked over and saw another kid sitting by himself. It looked like he was reading a dictionary, so I figured he must be a nerd. Us nerds have to stick together so I thought I'd just go over their and invite him to our table."

"I went over to his table and got the surprise of my life. It as a girl! Not just any girl. She had really pretty eyes. I don't think I could take mine off hers the entire time. I noticed she kept her hair really short, so she was probably made fun of by all the girls in her classes. Some of the bitchiest girls you'll ever meet are in Hawkins Middle. I think we have the highest rate of bitchy girls per capita, as our social studies teacher would say. She didn't say anything, she just looked at me with those killer eyes and nodded. What's really weird is that I had a sudden urge to lean over and kiss her. But I saved myself from having her laugh in my face, probably with a slap. I am the frogface after all. I started to regret asking her to the Party Table, but I did anyway."

"What can I say, I liked her right away. It seemed like she was different, maybe a little self-conscious of her looks, but I was too. I introduced her to Max and Lucas, and Dustin and Suzie. She seemed a little intimidated by how pretty Max and Suzie are, but those two have nothing on El. El, that's her name, probably short from Eleanor or something. They all agreed she could be our Mage. She was looking around as if she expected there to be another person at the table. I don't know what that was about."

"Me and El are hanging around a lot together. It think it's pissing off Max and Lucas. El is always nice to me. When she smiles at me, my knees get weak. If she smiles at me and then gives me that look with her eyes (a look I haven't figured out yet) I find it hard to get a breath of air. She's so pretty. "

"I got crazy for a minute today and seriously thought about asking El to go out with me. Reality kicked in for me though. A girl that pretty is so not going to go out with me. I started to rethink having her in the Party, but no way I'd change that now. Just getting to see her every day makes the days go a lot better. She'd give me that we can just be friends line and that it. It would be all over. It would probably kill our friendship too. I'd never get to see her. Right now that's completely unthinkable."

"Troy called me a frogface today and then punched me. He really hit me hard, rang my bell as my mom would say. I was dizzy and El walked me home. She held on to my arm! I asked her not to tell my mom, she'll just go to the Principal and when Troy gets in trouble and he'll punch me even harder the next time. When we got to the basement she cleaned me up. Her hands were so soft and gentle on my face, even when she some ice to keep the swelling down. I just couldn't stop looking into her eyes the whole time. I think I was still woozy or something because I didn't care what I said. ."You have really pretty eyes El." She started to cry and I felt like shit. I didn't mean to make her cry! So I asked what I did wrong, and she said she was ugly. I was shocked and immediately said, "No you aren't El. You're pretty. Really pretty. She cried even harder, and said "But what about my hair?" I told her, "It really brings out your eyes." Which is totally true. "Short hair like that isn't the worst thing if you have pretty eyes like that, El." I almost didn't hear what she said next. "But I have no boobs. Boys like boobs." I felt my face heat up. How do you respond to something like that?, I fumbled my way through it. "Sure, but you will get them soon, they might not be humungous, but guys like me like pretty eyes and pretty faces… you have both. And you are smart, guys like me, but especially me like girls who are smart.." I had to look away. Nice going Wasteoid. That's with a capital W. Complete and utter Wasteoid. You absolutely can NOT talk about a girl's boobs when that very same girl is crying about them IN FRONT of you. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I figured she'll never talk to me again after today."

"She sounded very unsure of herself, she said, "do you… do you like me Mike?" I still couldn't look at her, but nodded. "Mike… look at me." My face was still hot so I know it was red but I steeled myself to look at er. She kissed me! She just leaned over and KISSED me! And I kissed her back! Her lips were so soft. I'll remember that kiss for as long as I live."

Mike wished he'd remembered a kiss like that. Truth be told he'd never had one like that with Max. Sure he remembered the first kiss, everyone does, but it really wasn't anything special. The journal entry let him know how special that first kiss with El was. Mike sighed to himself. He wasn't that Mike, but he sure felt like it. With every fibre of his being.

Where he came from seemed to be half backwards, he would have a lot of new technology to tinker around with here. But none of that would be any fun without someone in his life. An El someone.

Something that Dustin had said that maybe they did belong together. Mike hoped so. He already loved the El that this Mike had written about. The one in the other room, she looked the same, sure she was older and… Mike smiled to himself, has boobs, not humungous, but boobs nonetheless. Cause that';s what it's all about Mike? Of course not! Asshole. Besides I'm more into bums anyway. I've seen El's, had to be careful there, if she saw that I'm sure she would have mentioned it. I think I almost got caught once.

He continued to read what he'd written in this universe.

"Well. I did it! I asked El to be my girlfriend! She started to cry and I asked her If I'd said anything wrong, she told me she was happy, She told me I wouldn't be sorry I asked her. But Lucas and Max were pissed off now. I don't know what their problem is, but Max has been getting on my nerves. Me and El have been spending more and more time alone. We kiss all the time. I love kissing her . She's a very good kisser. She said I was too, but she's the only girl I've ever kissed, but I'm pretty sure she's a good kisser.

Good for you Mike, you finally grew a pair. I'm not sure I would have asked her.

Mike read how their relationship progressed. These two were in love, and it got stronger and stronger. Mike sighed again. It was getting hard to read. El was perfect for him. She knew his moods, but he never seemed to be down anymore. She told him that she could be difficult as Mike had written, but she would still love him. Seriously. Mike thought. What would it be like to have a girl who loved you like that. If I ever get the chance to kiss this El. I'll let her know she's loved. More than she ever thought possible. That's a promise El.

Mike continued reading. He more than blushed when he read about the first time He and El had sex. He wrote that the makeout sessions had been one thing, no sex was involved. Mike was almost shocked at what he'd written. He and El had done that? Well, they were seventeen and exploring the physical side of their relationship, of course they'd want to try everything. See what worked and what didn't. From what Mike had read though, it all worked. I can't let El read this, she'll take one look at me and say something like 'Not a chance mister.'

Of course. Mike smirked to himself. You could always just start out with a kiss. He was more than a little turned on reading those passages. It passed, he'd have to take a cold shower later or something. He'd never be able to look at El again today if he didn't.

"I asked El to marry me today. She was so happy she cried. Shit. Now I am too. I love that girl so much, I can't even put it into words. If you ever read this El. I love you. By now you know just how much."

Mike had to close the journal. Ran the back of his hand over he eyes. Yeah, no way she feels that way about me. No way I could convince her that we belong together. In my heart I know it's true. I don't think she's ready to accept someone that feels that deeply about her. Not after what she's been through in her life, and even today. Losing her dad while he's still in the room had to be devastating. Knowing the way I feel about her there's no way I can live here. I'm going to bed. I can't think about this anymore.

Mike went over to the sofa thinking he'd have to sleep in his clothes, but he saw his pajamas neatly folded for him on top of a turned down corner of the blanket. It was very thoughtful of El to do that, his heart twinged a bit. She had done that for him and they weren't even together.

He was exhausted thinking about it. He got into his pj's and crawled under the covers. El had even fluffed the pillow for him.

His head hit the pillow and he was out, almost instantly dreaming of her.

In the middle of the night, he felt stirring and a warm, soft body was pressed against his. It was El. She smelled fresh and feminine. He thought he said something about belonging together, he couldn't remember for sure, but he did remember putting an arm around her waist.

And he remembered her backing even closer to him and saying, "I know, Mike." He heard her sigh.

Tomorrow he would tell her. Let the chips fall where they may.

He loved her and he had to let her know.