A/N: A whimsical look at a way to get the people of Moonbase Alpha back home in the series Space: 1999.

Sending Help on the Installment Plan

"I just don't like the sound of it. How can the situation suddenly be so dire? We've managed to come this far."

Commander John Koenig, leader of the group of survivors on Moonbase Alpha after it had broken away from Earth's orbit following a nuclear accident, could be excused if the question was asked at all. The group sat in a room that was adequately heated, there was light and plenty of breathable air and all of the occupants could be said to be adequately nourished. In the room itself, the meeting might have very well been taking place in a skyscraper or country retreat on faraway Earth. The deep furrows in his forehead said that it wasn't a relaxed social gathering.

"I've run simulations on the computer, John." Helena Russell, the chief medical officer of the base, wrung her hands. "Any viable population needs to have a base number of individuals of varied genetic material to be able to flourish and grow in size. Even with taking into account current medical technology, we're simply losing too many people to survive as a group. We will continue to dwindle in size until one day…there will be nobody left on Alpha."

"Commander, it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep an adequate number of Eagles flying" Alan Carter, number one pilot of the base chimed in. "With great effort we can try to fabricate new parts and repair our existing fleet – but every time one crashes it means one day closer to where you'll have to walk or take a slow surface vehicle to cross any ground at all."

The commander rubbed his eyes with his hands before he turned to his chief science officer. "I suppose you concur, Victor?" It was said more as a statement than a question.

"There's always hope" Victor said, trying to lighten a bit of the gloom. "It's always possible that we can encounter others that will offer us various means of replenishment of our resources, or even a new home that we can settle on. But barring that, I tend to agree with the others' assessments. History has many examples of colonies that didn't make it because they weren't self-sufficient for one reason or another. We weren't designed to be that way yet; constant supply of people and materials from Earth kept the base going as long as it did. An isolated colony is only as strong as its weakest link, and we've got a lot of them."

"It was some of those materials from Earth that got us where we are now" John pointed out, without specifically mentioning the nuclear waste explosion that had sent them on their journey.

"Of course, I don't deny that. But if it wasn't for the traffic that the nuclear dump created in the first place, this base would be little more than a small pre-fab building buried in a hillside. We don't have solar, geothermal, wind or even petrol-based fuel sources to rely on. Even if we managed to sustain our population, eventually we'd run out of an energy source and with it any chance for survival."

"It's just so damn galling to have survived the initial explosion and yet, here we are three months later and we're sitting ducks for either one last problem to wipe us out or wait and have it happen slowly over a longer period of time. There has to be a solution!" Their leader sat down in his chair, exhausted.

"Of course, we'll keep working on solutions" Helena offered. "Like Victor said - there's always hope. Some new discovery or encounter could be just what we need."

"What we need is the Earth back" John said with a smile. "But I don't think it's out here looking for us. Okay, everyone back to your sections and we'll keep the home fires burning as long as we can." The group broke up and all returned to their normal work areas, leaving the room empty.

…

"So, Jean, I think this would be right up your alley. You're probably better equipped to handle all these numbers than anyone else." With the vast array of people that were the survivors of Alpha, there were many talents distributed among the inhabitants. As an administrator, John was used to shuffling paperwork and numbers but here his hands were so full he had looked for a way to distribute some of the load to others. He had come across Jean Hubbare, formerly an accountant and computer operator whose main job duties had been coordinating the financial affairs of the base and the International Lunar Commission back on Earth. Sandra Benes had quickly identified her as a person with a lack of position following the disaster and had suggested to Commander Koenig she might be useful in some type of administrative capacity by giving consideration to Jean's skill set.

"Thank you for your confidence in me, Commander. I've been kind of lost up here, what with no one to coordinate with back home now. I've been doing what I can, but it can be described as menial work at best."

"No work is menial if it helps us survive, but thank you Jean. I never really thought about the financial aspects of the base; sure, I know we're not self-sufficient but I suppose it's almost like the place is a business."

"It is, if you look at it a certain way. From an accounting perspective, a business comes down to income, expenses, debits and credits. The base is no different; we valued various departments and services, we charged 'rent' on the waste containers we stored and we had the necessary payments for the habituated spaces on the base itself."

"You mean like rent? I don't remember seeing that anywhere on my reports" John questioned.

"Of course not; it wouldn't be called that, in so many words. But no one person or nation owns the moon; given that, someone has to have a custodial role for the Earth so in effect the ILC 'owns' the moon for accounting purposes. They get their payments back in the form of services like our low-gravity research laboratory. We aren't receiving any more personnel or supplies from Earth, but they've got to find another place to store their nuclear waste and do research now. It's like my apartment I had back on Earth; I obviously can't pay the rent there anymore so I'm sure somebody will be taking it to live in."

"Huh" John responded, mulling it over. "I guess I'm too close to the forest to see the trees." He clapped Jean on her shoulder gently. "I never thought about how the Earth lost a financial partner too. Well, I've got to change hats and move on to the next job; I think I've got the right person for this one now" he said as he smiled.

"Thank you, Commander."

John went back to his office and sat at his desk. For a moment he tried to think of himself as a CEO of a large business, but the image refused to stay. No, he was just an upper level manager – the real owners were back on Earth. They just weren't going to get any more payments on their investment now. What were they going to do, take…

John trailed off in thought, and an idea struck suddenly. No, it was stupid. Ridiculous. Outlandish, even. The notion itself was ludicrous.

But then again, that pretty much summed up their situation already.

John flipped the com open and spoke with Jean for a few minutes, asking what must have seemed quite odd questions. He mulled the answers over and then contacted Sandra and had her send a message back in the direction of Earth and not expect any reply.

It probably wouldn't work; but it took very little effort and was just another possible avenue to explore; as long as there were straws to grasp, John would be willing to try. It was understandable that his reaction was a mix of surprise and relief when Alpha received a message a week later.

Moonbase Alpha, Acme Collections has had your account with International Lunar Commission turned over for payment. Please contact us within forty-eight hours to arrange terms or actions will be taken against you.

Sandra stifled the urge to scream – most people had a collection letter at some point in their life. More than a few residents talked of the burden of student loans among themselves in the past. She looked at the commander for guidance. "Orders, Commander?"

"Ignore them."

"John, is that wise?" Victor asked. "Some of those collection agencies can be ruthless."

"Victor, I'm counting on it. But you're right – I should send some response. Sandra, tell them 'Due to circumstances beyond our control Moonbase Alpha will no longer be providing payments or services to Earth'. Send it along, please."

Forty-nine hours later the base received a short response. "This is your last chance to pay; contact us immediately for terms."

"This time we ignore them completely" he commanded.

Several crewmembers started sweating; this was more intense than anything they had encountered, even the accident itself; the stakes were becoming high now even if they didn't understand the game.

Work slowed and came to a standstill over the next days as the tension mounted; finally, it was announced that a large vessel was approaching from behind them. John chose the time to let the base in on his plan and he addressed everyone over the loudspeaker.

"This is Commander John Koenig. As many of you know, Moonbase Alpha has a very dim prospect of survival for any extended period of time. Rather than take the chance on the slim probability of some random encounter with a previously unknown entity, I have chosen to deal with the forces we know. I have made it known to the financial powers back on the Earth that Alpha is in default of payments on our base and that we will not be offering any future concessions. It was my hope, slim as it might have been, that powers greater than ours would act and they have. We are being approached by a large vehicle which, unless I miss my guess, will arrest the motion of the moon in some fashion and tow it back to Earth for the debt collectors. As desperate as this action is, I have determined it was our best chance at surviving and the responsibility is mine. Please wait calmly and we shall see what awaits us."

Several hours later, a large round vessel the size of an asteroid pulled up to the moon. Small drones placed flashing beacons on several spots of the surface around Earth's former moon and with a huge shake began to tug the satellite back towards its old celestial partner. After the initial jolt and shaking from the change in velocity, the personnel cheered as the moon started back to Earth, gaining speed as the towing ship pulled more strongly.

John grinned and sat down. Everyone was going to have rotten credit scores when they got back, but at least they'd be home.

The End

A/N: Not surprisingly, I got this idea driving along the road and seeing someone's car get towed. I debated whether it was a breakdown or repossession, and then started thinking about seeing tow trucks get towed by even larger tow trucks. I started wondering just how large a vehicle could be towed if necessary. Why not a moon?