Omega Kid

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the Kick-Ass comic or film written by Mark Miller, or any guest characters from other Kick-Ass fanfic's they are owned by their own writers and creators. However, all rights and characters for Omega Kid belong to me and are owned by me alone. So if anyone wants to ever use any characters or anything else from this story for a special chapter or fic will have to ask first...but don't worry, there's a 99% chance I'll say yes.

The Supervillain Arc

Chapter 29: I am Cook!

''I'm telling you Thomas, this is wrong!'' Alex said to me.

''No, trust me this will work!'' I replied back to him, but he was having none of it.

''No, I can't take it. It's just not going to work!''

''I'm going to have to agree with Alex on this one...'' Steph cut in. ''I see no way this will work!''

''I promise you...when has Joss Whedon ever let us down?''

''He's only good at his own things; I can't see him making the Avengers movie any good. Besides what do you care traitor? You joined teamed DC!'' Alex spat with quite some bitterness as he drank more of his Pepsi.

Yeah, he's still sore about that. Ow, just mentioning the word sore reminds me of the pain I was feeling at the moment. If I took off my shirt, I'd look like I got into a fight with David Haye. But of course we're sitting in the middle of Comic City, so I'm not going to take my shirt off. But that's just the consequence of non-stop fight after fight. Ever since Jack the Ripper's death, crime rates have nearly tripled. Wannabe criminals have taken to the streets and have pushed the four of us to the brink. It was a miracle we were still walking.

''Okay guys?'' Jenna called over as she along with Megan and Stella brought over a couple of large meals. ''Chicken Fill for the girls! Two Big Munches for Thomas and Stephen...and a large pepperoni pizza, two cheeseburgers, chicken wings, mash and fries...with a coke for Alex!''

''I'm hungry!'' Alex defended himself as he helped Jenna try to fit all of his food on the table. He might as well have shared his food with us; but can't blame him, being a superhero really brings up your appetite.

''I'm going to find Rachael, tell her the food's ready.'' I said quickly as I got up to find her.

''Don't do anything you shouldn't!'' I heard Alex shout, but I was too far to really comment back at him. I checked around the first column of comics and found Rachael organising some new shipments. Every day there were new comics being created, most of them inspired by the superhero craze in America. I still don't see an Omega Kid comic in the making, but the arrival of my TV series is soon, so no complaints.

''Hey, food's ready.'' I called over to her, and helping her stack a few more comics.

''Thanks, you start on I've got a few more to finish.''

''Come on, I think you deserve a little break. Most people don't know it, but stacking comics is a lot of work.'' She chuckled slightly and gently kissed me on the cheek. Rachael and me have been a couple for a few weeks now…could you imagine the school's reaction when it was publicised? More often, people didn't even know who I was, let alone telling Rachael dating me would be bad for her image. Their image wouldn't look any better when saying that to Rachael's face and feeling her wrath.

It has been really awesome finally being with her and showing that extra care, and it's amazing how well Rachael's handled the whole me being Omega Kid thing. I was always afraid to be with her, in case she wouldn't want a superhero for a boyfriend, but she's fine with it. I think she described it like a commitment to a soldier in war, believing what I was doing was right. She does have some sleepless nights worrying over me, especially with the crime rate rise. But it's not just her that worries about me...

Rachael's watch started beeping. ''Hold on a sec!'' She took out a little bottle from her pocket, opening it, and then swallowing two pills. It was still a shock to me that Rachael had Parkinson's. Someone like her, so young and undeserving of it. But she's said that if she wasn't diagnosed; she might not have grown up to be the kind, caring and brave women she is, and could have instead turn out to be a stereotypical popular bitch of a girl. She was much stronger than me; I mean I fight criminals and killers, but anybody can do that. But the people who want to pull through for themselves and others and fight diseases and conditions; they're the real superheroes!

Jenna then came around. ''You might need to eat something quick, with Alex and Steph there I can guarantee it won't last long.''

''But I've just got two more rows to...''

''I'll do it, you two go on and eat up.'' Jenna interrupted, and before Rachael could protest, she was already organising and pushing Rachael and me away.

Once we were sat down at the table, and were out of hearing range from Jenna, the serious talk began. ''So things have been pretty bad?'' Rachael asked us.

''You don't know the half of it sister.'' Alex replied.

''I told you to stop calling me that.'' Even when Rachael and me are together, Alex still can't help but flirt at times, friendly way of cause.

Before Alex could say anything else, I got out first. ''Thanks to the Ripper's influence, we have to work double time.''

''The day you say triple I'm going to demand a wage increase!'' Alex mumbled.

''We don't even get wages!'' Steph said to his brother.

''Have I ever mentioned how much I hate you?''

''Jeez, what crawled up your ass and grew?'' Stella questioned.

''Nothing, I just annoyed more when I'm hungry.'' He said before chowing down on his food, he's half way through, and he's still hungry? Well growing up, his parents did give him the nickname hollow legs, plus I don't think our pizza eating competitions helped.

Megan spoke up. ''What about Hellrider? Hasn't he helped?''

''He's been a no-show since our fight with Ripper!'' Stella answered.

Alex gave us an unwelcomed belch and comment. ''I don't really care! I've never liked that guy, where is he when the real big bads show up? Leaves it for us! He's probably quit, hopefully quit!''

I'm not so sure; he's made it a promise to fulfill that he and I would fight to the death. And he's too much of a straightforward, cliché avenger to back out from that promise. He's probably still healing from the Ripper fight, as was I was. Although for me, it's still more mental then physical…as much as the physical hurt though. You may think that I killed a killer, just get over it! Well when you kill someone tell me how that went. It's not that I don't think it was right; it's that it happened, and I keep having nightmares about it. Whether it is the public turning on me, the Ripper pushing me out of the window…or the worst…me becoming the Ripper. The idea of death still frightens me. ''Thomas…Thomas?'' Rachael repeated snapping me out of my thoughts.

''Huh? Sorry?''

''You spaced out, you alright buddy?'' Alex finished for her.

''Yeah, I just…we're just tired. It's been hard the past few weeks, but I'm sure it'll quiet down soon. Tomorrow, we can just rest, and focus on school.''

''Do we have to?'' Stella joked.

''Just think of it this way, one more year, and then off to college.'' Megan brightly cheered.

Jesus, I can't believe how quick my life is going at the moment. One day you're checking out your new school, the next, you're savoring your last moments of it (although savoring it may be stretching it a bit for Hallblock). Even with Omega Kid in my life, everything is always moving at a pace I can hardly keep up with. Again I was broken out of my thoughts when I felt Rachael's hand on mine. She warmly smiled at me, and it again brought up the thought of leaving a kid life and starting something. Maybe it's too early to say that, but right now, I just want it to be with Rachael.

Oh great, Hallblock school's specialty…glop, I think? Normally I would do my own pack lunch and bring it to school, but I was so tired from last night's patrol I couldn't be bothered and just decided to have school dinner for the first time in years…now I remember why it's been so long. ''Well, well, long time no see,'' A familiar voice whispered next to me. Why if it isn't my least favourite fan Kevin. ''Where have you been lately? Oh wait, I know, getting soft with Rachael.''

''That's none of your business!''

''Hey, no problem. You got to her first, well played.''

I looked at him in an offended tone. ''Well played?''

''Sorry, poor choice of words!'' He said apologetically. ''You know, this is the first time I've seen you up near the cafeteria.''

''I've never been big on the school food.'' I told him as I checked the mash with my fork, and I swear I actually had to use all my strength just to dig my fork in it.

''Well, that might all change soon. See the new cook over there?'' He pointed over to the far side of the cafeteria. Behind the last section, where all the good food looked to be, there was the new cook. Dressed in the traditional white cook suit and large hat. I could make out his blond hair, square shaped head, and a weird look about him like he was looking for something. Kevin whispered in my ear. ''Word going throughout the school, this guy is good at what he does.''

''You're telling me this guy actually makes Hallblock food taste good?'' I'd believe that I could take down Toxin, Marcus and Douglas all at once, blindfolded and with one arm and leg tied behind my back before I could believe that this school actually could afford a good cook.

''Well, see for yourself.'' Kevin muttered and showed me that it was me that was next for the new guys food.

I moved in front of him, seeing as he's new, and he's cooking what I'm about to eat I might as well be nice. ''Hi, how are you?'' He looked at me strangely, but not in an annoyed way, but almost as if he was trying to understand what I was saying. He gives me a cheesy grin, and shows off the food he has, impatient isn't he? At least the food actually looks edible. ''Okay then, I'll have the Tika Rice, please.''

''OKAY!'' He shouts. With one switch move of his spoon the rice is now on my plate. ''I am Cook!'' He says with a bit of authority and an accent.

''Kay, thanks.'' I walked away to find a table, with Kevin not far (enough) behind.

''Well?''

''He's enthusiastic isn't he.'' I replied.

''I meant the food dumbass.'' He spat back with no emotion. I gave him an annoyed look before picking up some of the rice. It was still hot, so there's hope. And it smelled good, so who knows? But the taste…

''Holy crap! That is good!'' I was expecting half decent at the most, but this was phenomenal. This was the best rice I've ever had, and it was from a new cook I couldn't even have a conversation with.

''Another victim to the Hungary Cook's power.'' Kevin smirked.

''What are you talking about?'' I asked.

''Well he's got nothing over there I really like…''

''No, no, the Hungary part, is that meant to be a bad joke, the Hungary Cook?''

''Would be, except he really is Hungarian!''

Well at least that explains the accent; maybe it's also to do with his kind of campy personality. But then another thing was bugging me now that I knew he was Hungarian. ''Hold on, does he even speak English?''

At first I thought that was a stupid question, until Kevin answered. ''With cooking like that, guess the school didn't bother giving him a quiz,'' He then walked off to his table, leaving me bemused by all this. How can he work in an English school when he doesn't even speak English? Surely he must know some otherwise how can he work here? Before I could find a seat, Kevin rushed back over to me. ''Oh, I almost forgot our little Omega Kid trivia.'' Just when I thought I was going to go one day without finding a talk with Kevin embarrassing.

Trust me when I say, you don't want to know what Kevin's question was. You'll never listen to my story in the same light again. But at long last I managed to get away from him after lunch, and boy, that's the best lunch I've had for years. This guy may have speech difficulties, but he makes five star cooking look easy. Next lesson was English, which I share with Stella, and if you thought I was ecstatic about the Hungarian Cook, well…

''I swear I was thinking about going back for fifths!''

''You had four meals from him?''

''That's nothing…well okay I had the most, but that guy is amazing. And it's weird how he looks like a younger Gordon Ramsey.''

''Yeah, but he acts like Jim Carrey. But it still bugs me…''

''Oh, aren't you the one that use to complain about the school's food?'' She cut in.

''I'm not complaining, I just don't understand how someone who can't speak English gets a job at an English school.''

''That's nothing, Sophie and Chloe's aunt is Mexican and she works in Australia. That's complete opposite lengths of the world…'' She stuttered at the last bit and looked short of breath.

''You okay?''

''Yeah, just a little weak,'' She was breathing a bit heavier now. And now come to think of it, I was feeling a bit topsy-turvy myself. It's probably just the hangovers from our crime fighting, it's happened before. But normally it would lead to head numbing, this felt more like close to vomiting. ''Is it hard?'' Stella asked me out of the blue.

''Is what hard?''

''You and Rachael, out in the open?''

''Well…it can have its moments. But I wouldn't want it to be any other way. I think one secret is enough for me. Why do you…oh…'' Kind of made me sound like a prick there, going on about my relationship when Stella and Megan have still got theirs hidden, except for us.

Stella spoke up again. ''Sometimes I think I'm just selfish keeping it hidden like this.''

''You're not selfish, it's complicated…''

''What's so complicated about telling the world that me and Megan are in love!'' She whispered to me bitterly.

''No, I didn't mean that, I meant…I…I'm probably the worst person to ask about relationship issues.''

Stella looked at me with a soft expression, before turning away from me. ''Sorry I lashed out, I just think Megan deserves better.''

''Trust me, I know that feeling.''

''Life just isn't easy, is it?'' She asked sarcastically.

''If life ever was easy, what would be the point of living it…'' I couldn't finish because my throat clamped up, and I have to cover my mouth with my hand. ''Oh God, I think I'm going to be sick!''

''Me too.'' Stella said weakly. Then the strangest thing happened, a girl sitting right in front of us was the one who started vomiting on the ground. At the same time, someone behind us ran out of the class covering his mouth, but that didn't stop some sick coming out of his mouth. Everyone got up from the seats, and was immediately clutching their stomachs, including me. ''Thomas, help…'' Stella got out before nearly fainting from her chair before I grabbed her. But those sudden movements almost made me throw up right on her. I gently helped her out of the class (this was an excuse out of class I could do without), and once in the hallway, we could hear the commotion going on in the other classes. People running out of class, throwing up in the hallway or just making it to the bathroom. ''Thomas…I'm gonna…'' Too late! Chunks of Stella's breakfast and lunch all over my right shoulder. It was amazing I was holding it in, but only just. But Stella was so weak now, she couldn't even walk, I had to put her down.

''Thomas! Stella!'' Alex and Steph called out as they ran over to help me. ''Something's happening all over the school, everyone is sick, even Megan and Rachael…and Chloe, those ruby red lips…''

''Ruby red lips? Alex! Is this really the time to think about that?''

''Guys!'' Steph shouted. ''What do we do? How can we fight a sickness?''

Steph was right, this was something we had no way of fighting, and what's worse is that I was feeling the effects. I don't think I can run let alone fight anything…or anyone. Hold on, this can't be a coincidence. ''Stella, what did you have for lunch?''

''I told you, Tika Rice and Kiev.''

''All from the new cook?'' She nodded. I turned to the others. ''It has to be the new cook, I know the school cooks aren't good, but they can't do anything like this!''

Alex shook his fist in frustration. ''I knew there was something off with that guy…no pun intended. I mean his cooking was alright but he was just creepy with that eccentric…''

As he went on something clicked in my head after hearing what he just said. ''Alex?'' I cut in.

''Yeah?''

''Did you just say his cooking was alright?''

''Yeah, it was actually pretty…'' Before he could finish, he covered his mouth and his cheeks puffed out making a disgusting squishy belch like noise.

This is unbelievable. ''YOU ATE FIVE ORDERS FROM COMIC CITY LAST NIGHT, AND YOU STILL EAT HIS FOOD HERE?''

''I was hungry!'' He shouted before running off to the bathroom close by to us.

''Steph, please tell me what you ate for lunch today.''

''Well, my parents said I should eat healthier, so they told me to have a vegetarian meal every Monday.''

''So you couldn't eat any of the Cook's food?'' I said with a bit of relief, even if it was just Steph and me having some back up was needed.

''Well, he did have a nice salad…'' Then Steph covered his mouth and bulged cheeks before running to the bathroom.

''AH CRAP!'' I screamed which only made me feel worse.

''Thomas, you'll have to fight him.'' Stella got out. I could barely hear her she was so weak.

''I'm too weak, I can't fight him alone!''

''What did you have for lunch?''

''A bit of rice and that was it!'' Just mentioning the rice made it feel like I was going to puck it all back out.

''You're the least affected; I'm certainly no good. Thomas, the whole school is affected! You have to do this, people could die!''

I looked around me; it was like a pandemic from those George A Romero Zombie flicks, only this was actually much scarier. No silly zombie plot, this was people's lives on the line. Everyone, including my friends and girlfriend! And what's going to make this cook stop from attacking other places? This is going to be my first one on one since the Ripper fight, and I was much weaker now, but I had to do this. ''Okay, just hold on!'' I told her before walking as fast as I could to the cafeteria.

''Cook!'' I yelled once entering the café. The place was empty, even the cooks behind were gone. I walked around the serving stools and into the kitchen. I bet every kid in school has wondered what goes on behind our enemy lines in the kitchen. Well at the moment not much, everything was spick and span. Even though there was no sign of the Hungary Cook, I still had that gut wrenching feeling, although now I can't tell whether that's just my Omega sense tingling, or me about to litter the floor with my insides.

I rush over to the tap next to me, and I don't care if the water is dirty, it can't be worse then whatever the cook's put in the food. I turned the cold water on and scooped up some water, taking little sips, even drinking made me feel like I was going to…the sick feeling was gone when I saw on the reflection of the tap of the Cook charging at me with a meat cleaver! I jumped back just as his weapon connected with the tap.

He gave me a sadistic smile, and that crazy Jim Carrey-like look. From behind his cook suit, he brought out another meat cleaver, and scraped them both together like a cook ready to make his next meal. ''Szüksége van megtudni, maradjon meg más emberek a buisness gyerek!''

''Why the hell are you doing this? You're killing innocent people!''

''Miért? Ez a mi I. után nem minden,'' Why am I even bothering? I can't understand a word he's saying. ''I AM COOK!'' He shouts and the laughs manically before charging at me. I rolled back just as one of his cleaver's comes crashing down. I kick at his leg and he stumbles back; but he regains his footing goes at me again. I move aside and punch at his gut, but I can't get a decent punch on him, I'm so weak.

He round house kicks me in the gut, which really didn't help my cause. He screams like a psychotic again, and starts waving his cleavers just as crazily. I can't get close until he swings too hard and I get a free shot. BAM! I get him in the chest, but then he kicks at my legs knocking me to the ground. He readies to strike, but I kick up at his face pushing him away. If I get up too fast I'll vomit, if I move to slow he'll catch up with me.

BAM! He kicks at my face knocking me into some drawers BAM! And kicks me for good measure in the stomach, I spit out a bit of the rice. He steps on my head, giving me no way of escaping, if only I didn't let my hunger get the best of me I could have taken him. ''Szégyen, egészen I. szerette magát!'' Great, a villain's fatality line is usual epic, and I can't even understand what he said.

BAM! The sound of metal echoes through the kitchen, and Hungary Cook steps off of me and starts screaming in pain I think. And then I see a sight I'd never thought I'd live to see…Kevin saving my life, with a frying pan! Come to think of it, I don't remember Kevin eating anything the Cook made, yeah, he said he had nothing he liked…should I be thankful? I'll give him the benefit this one time.

He looks down on me like some damsel in distress. ''Step aside amateur, let the pro's show you…'' BAM! Cook gives him a strong kick to the face, knocking him towards a cupboard. Then he attacks with both his cleavers, but Kevin blocks with his pan.

All these hits I've taken, all the pain and punishments has finally done it, and I let it all go. I coughed and wheezed after I finally puked everywhere. ''Glad I finally got that out of my system!'' And then it felt like I was struck by a bolt of lightning Captain Marvel style, I felt better. Not 100%, but enough to move around a bit more. And with both villain and wannabe fan distracted, now was the time to lay down my rucksack and bring out the costume.

Even when looking in the face of death, Kevin still has the smug Omega Kid fan boy attitude. ''Even if you strike me down, Omega Kid will avenge my death…although it would be nice if he showed up now!''

''Ómega Elbolondít? Ó, azt hiszem, nem jön, tudom!'' Cook replied with his twisted laugh and smile.

I tapped him on the shoulder, and he got quite a surprise when he turned and saw me in blue and silver. ''Hi, I'd like a meal to go please!'' BAM! He goes flying back with just one punch to the face. Oh, it feels so good to be back close to full health.

''Holy Crap!'' Kevin stuttered, oh no, I was not going to enjoy this. ''Omega Kid! Sorry about the foul language, but…Holy Crap!''

''Nice to see you to kid!'' Once again I spoke with Christian Bale's infamous voice.

''This is so cool!'' He shouted.

''AHHHHHH!'' Cook screamed at the top of his voice while running towards me. I pushed Kevin aside, and moved away just as the cleaver zoomed past both of us. BAM! I kneed him in the stomach. BAM! But he elbowed me in the face, which made me feel woozy again, just not as bad as before. He aimed one of his cleavers at me, and I blocked with my knuckle-duster. Using my other hand, I had a clear shot to his face BAM! BAM! BAM! I knocked him back and he dropped one of his cleavers.

He opened a drawer and pulled out a rolling pin, not the most intimidating weapon…BAM! But painful when he throws it at your privates! He then grabs me and throws me on the cooker, thankfully it wasn't on. He slams his other meat cleaver at me, but I roll out of the way, and I accidently turn on the cooker with his hand still on it.

He screams like a little girl (who could blame him?) as the cooker was turned up so hot that he couldn't even take his flesh off the grill. I found a large pot nearby, I know this trick only works in cartoons, but seeing as he's trapped might as well use it. I slam the pot over his head, and then using his meat cleaver, I whack the pot causing it to vibrate violently. He stumbles to the ground, his hand on the cooker the only thing keeping him up. Taking a chance, I lift the pot off his head, and see his battered and unconscious face.

Kevin stood next to me. ''That was so cool. You're one of a kind you now that! You want me to hold that?''

''Huh? Yeah sure!'' I said handing him the pot, but then taking it back off him as I vomited into it.

''How come you're sick?'' Kevin asked suspiciously. Just great, out of all the people in the world, he's the last person I want to know my secret identity.

''That rolling pin to the balls hurt a lot.'' And I'm not lying about that, but at least it was an excuse.

''But I swear your balls are made of steel?'' I'm so tempted to hit his head with this pot right now!

It wouldn't be for at least another three hours before the affects of Hungary Cook's food wore off. From what police found, he was putting some kind of chemical in the food to lower everyone's protein and calcium levels dramatically in a short space of time. And if he put another milligram of zinc powder in the food, it could have been fatal, talk about a lucky break.

At least that means I wouldn't be seeing the Cook's crazy face for quite some time. You know in a way he was kind of like our first real Supervillain in weeks, he had a costume (although it was his work clothes but you get what I mean). But I doubt he could be a real Green Goblin like threat, I took him out while I was sick.

''You're telling me Kevin saved your life?'' Rachael asked in disbelief.

''I know! I'm still trying to process it.''

Alex then spoke. ''Typical, just as the school gets a decent cook, he turns out to be some deranged maniac. We just never seem to win in life.''

''That's school life for you.'' Stella said.

And then we all heard a rumbling sound coming from Steph's stomach. ''I'm hungry.''

''After all that you want to eat?'' I asked shocked.

''I threw up my lunch and breakfast, I'm hungry.''

''Come to think of it, I'm hungry too!'' Megan said.

''Same.'' Rachael next.

''Well, at least we know Comic-City food is safe.'' Stella answered our problem. So we all got up, and walked off in the direction of our secret hideout (not really any other cool place), all of us except for Alex. ''Aren't you coming?''

''No, no, no! This day has taught me a valuable lesson; never let your eyes get bigger than your belly. I'm going on hunger strike.''

''Alright your choice!'' We all then walked off to have our first decent meal since forever, with the Cook's food it felt like that long. And we all walked off thinking the exact same thing about Alex; it'll be a few hours before he follows…

''Hey wait up!'' That was quick.

(3rd Person View)

Cook was lead into his cell, his new home for a good long time. The trail was quick, and all the evidence went against him. Even with the language barrier he didn't deny any of the charges; he tried to show he was proud of his newfound fame, but deep down he was hurting. His plans foiled, by a couple of kids…pretty embarrassing he thought.

The cell door closed behind him, and he had no trouble getting around his new home. One bed, a sink and a toilet. No stove, no cooker, no kitchen utensil; this was foreign land to him. But then something caught his eye, something that would stand out even if he weren't in a jail cell…a fortune cookie.

Nothing better to do; he grabs it and delicately opens it. Loving the crackling sound it made, and the feel of the crispy shell breaking. He finally opened it and saw the writing on the little slip inside. It may not have been a fortune, but it put that twisted smile back on his face…

'Mr. Cook, Hogyan szeretné bosszút?'

Hungarian for…

'Mr Cook, How would you like revenge?'

To Be Continued…