Disclaimer: Ngozi Ukazu owns Eric Bittle and the rest of the Samwell crew, and Hank Green and Bernie Su own this iteration of Lizzie Bennet and company.

A/N: Remember, this is going to mostly follow canon, except that I'm imagining that the Lizzie Bennet Diaries took place in 2014-2015 to line up with Year 2 of Check Please.

Eric has just walked out of his awful impromptu meeting with Hall and Murray to cry on the steps of Faber when his phone starts buzzing the way it does when he has an incoming call. He pulls it out of his pocket, fully intending to reject his mother's inopportune attempt to contact him, but it's not his mother; it's Lizzie. And she's someone he actually wouldn't mind talking to right now about this, so he picks up.

He knows his voice is choked up and barely better than a sob when he says, "Hey," but he's hoping that'll work in his favor and garner him some much-needed sympathy. He's only talked to Lizzie on the phone once since Vidcon, when things got especially frustrating at Netherfield, but they text most days, though there's been a little less of that since Lizzie was able to move back into her own house. All in all, it's been shockingly easy to fall into a close friendship, probably because they share the combination of intense public vulnerability in the form of vlogging with a sort of anonymity born of only having met once in real life.

"Hi," says Lizzie, and it sounds like she's crying, too. "Sorry, is this a bad time?"

"Does everything suck?" Eric asks, trying to inject some levity into his wobbly voice. "Absolutely. But I have some time, so go ahead."

"Sorry, you don't need to deal with me right now."

"No, seriously, go ahead," says Eric. "It would be nice to talk to someone who's not connected to hockey right now. I kind of want to talk about what's going on here, too, if that's all right—assuming nobody's died on your end, because in that case you would absolutely have permission to dominate the conversation—but you can go first."

"If you're sure," says Lizzie.

"I am," Eric replies.

"Okay. I think Charlotte just friend-broke up with me, and it's all my fault. The video's going up tomorrow, but basically she took the job with Ricky Collins and I accused her of selling out."

"That sounds like something you can fix," says Eric.

"You don't understand," Lizzie insists. "I berated her. I said horrible things about Ricky Collins, and the job she's taking, and what those things mean about Charlotte."

"And you're still going to put up the video?" Eric asks dubiously. He's not crying so much anymore.

Lizzie sighs on the other end of the line. "It's called the Lizzie Bennet Diaries for a reason. Charlotte knew the camera was on, and she knew I was going to post the video, so it's not even like what happened with Bing."

"I suppose," says Eric. "Are you going to apologize?"

"I don't know how," Lizzie whines. "I really did mean what I said, you know? I do think she's selling out, and I am mad that she's leaving me, and I do hate Ricky Collins."

Eric shrugs even though he knows Lizzie can't see him. "If you're sure."

"I'm not," Lizzie admits. "I don't know what to do. I don't know how to do anything about this."

"I don't know how to help you, then," says Eric.

"That's okay," says Lizzie. "It helps just to talk to someone who's not here in the thick of it, you know? I'm sure Jane is going to start hovering any minute now, but that kind of makes her harder to talk to, and of course I'd never want to talk to Lydia about something serious."

"Right," says Eric.

"Now, you said you wanted to talk to someone who doesn't play hockey?" Lizzie asks.

"Oh, right," says Eric. "So, my coaches are talking about kicking me off my team."

"Seriously?!" Lizzie half-shouts. "But you won that award last year! I thought you were doing so well!"

"I can't take a check," Eric admits. "It's like it was at the beginning of the season last year. Jack helped me through it, then, and I got better, but now it's worse than ever, probably because of that check at the end of last season. And now Jack's a senior, and I just don't know if he's going to have the time or inclination to help me again, you know? I know we were starting to be friends at the end of last year, but he came into the bathroom while I was showering a few days ago to tell me to stop singing, and that's basically all the interaction we've had since I moved in two weeks ago. I could see him deciding that four a.m. checking practice isn't worth his time for a second year running."

"Maybe," says Lizzie. "Do you think you could ask him for help to see what he says?"

Eric sighs. "You haven't met Jack Zimmermann. One does not simply ask him for help."

"Shower incident aside, are you sure an ancient meme reference is your best course of action here?"

Eric groans. "I suppose I can ask Jack for help. But I want you to think about ways to apologize to Charlotte. If you think the problem is your fault, there must be some way for you to apologize, even if you stand by a lot of the things you said."

"Fine," Lizzie agrees. Then she says, "Oh—Jane just walked in. Do you mind if I go?"

"Sure, that's okay," says Eric. He feels somewhat better when he hangs up than he had when the phone rang, and he sets off in search of Jack to ask for more checking practice.

OoOoO

Lizzie and Eric don't talk on the phone again for another couple of months. Lizzie doesn't find a way to apologize to Charlotte, mostly because Charlotte isn't taking her calls—she only knows any of what's going on in Charlotte's life from Charlotte's Twitter and a few texts from Maria—but Eric texts to let her know that Jack agreed to help with checking practice, so that's something, at least. Lizzie and Charlotte make up eventually in spite of Lizzie's initial inability to apologize, and Lizzie goes to visit Charlotte at Collins & Collins.

Then, of course, Darcy shows up with his friend Fitz in tow, and things go from regular-weird to awkward-weird to truly and utterly mind-boggling over the course of about two weeks, and suddenly Lizzie needs to talk to someone who hasn't just watched the whole situation unfold, so she calls Eric.

"Hey, I just got out of class," says Eric when he picks up. "What's going on?"

"I need a source of sanity right now," says Lizzie. "The entire world has just lost its mind and also I think I just set myself up for a lawsuit."

"Well, Shitty's not a lawyer yet, so I'm not sure what I can do about the lawsuit, but what kind of world-toppling things have been happening? Does this have anything to do with your tall annoyance, or is it Charlotte?"

"It's not Charlotte. Darcy just came in here—I'm at the Collins & Collins offices—and said that, against his better judgment and the wishes of his family, he's in love with me," Lizzie explains.

"What?!" Eric yells into the phone, but then he says, ". . . Actually, never mind, that makes total sense."

"In what universe does it make total sense?" Lizzie demands.

"I think Darcy probably has social anxiety," Eric says. "Jack was a real jerk when I first met him, and it turned out he was just anxious. I think Darcy might be the same way. And I'm not trying to excuse the way he announced his feelings, because obviously that was really tactless and hurtful to you, but like, given the way you've talked about him acting up until now, it makes sense that he's been secretly in love with you this whole time."

"What?" Lizzie demands. "Why would anyone—"

"Because people's brains work differently," says Eric in his most patient voice, which Lizzie honestly finds a bit annoying.

"That does not mean he gets to list off a checklist for what a woman needs to do in order to be 'accomplished' and tell me my family is horrible in the course of declaring his love for me," she argues.

"Of course not," says Eric. "He was wrong to do those things. I'm just saying I can believe he's been struggling with his feelings."

"Ugh, fine," says Lizzie.

"So what was that about a lawsuit?"

"Oh, right. He was confused about why I was turning him down, so I told him to watch my videos."

"Oh," says Eric. "I'd ask if you think that was a good idea, but if you're worried about a lawsuit I'm guessing you've realized that it wasn't."

"Pretty much," says Lizzie. "What do I do now?"

"I think all you can do is wait," says Eric. "Listen, I just got to the Haus and Dex and Nursey are having a screaming match, so I think I need to go, but good luck with everything!"

"Thanks, Eric. Good luck to you, too," says Lizzie before hanging up.