Chapter 17

A lot of flashbacks coming your way. I'll try to keep it straightforward.

Clarke shivered as she walked across the cold tile floor that made up her kitchen space. It was a little after midnight and she'd just gotten home from her shift at the hospital. Bellamy was sleeping in the room that they now shared, Clarke closed the door to the bedroom to lower the risk of waking him up.

It had been two months since Bellamy had found her, two months since Pike's rain in terrorism had ended. Bellamy did what he said, when they got back home he took some time off to hang out with his sister. Octavia along with the rest of their friends had graduated high school, so they'd gotten to spend a lot of time together before they all went off to look at prospective colleges and start summer jobs to help pay for it.

Clarke quietly pulled out the chicken parm Bellamy had left her in the fridge. She had to say that his cooking was definitely an upside to having them live together this past month.

(FLASHBACK)

Clarke had just gotten out of the art class she'd been teaching, she was so tired after pulling the night shift at the hospital and was looking forward to crashing as soon as she got home.

The new schedule was rough to get used to. After getting back and having to spend a night on an army base in the med bay Clarke had been 'allowed' to leave. Miller's dad had told her that they wanted to know what happened while she and Lexa were together.

Bellamy had gotten to talk to her during the flight home, he told her to keep it simple. She didn't need to be sharing specific details about what happened while she was on her 'suicide mission'.

So she did keep it simple. Told him Lexa had used her for her own gain. She wanted Pike dead and that was the only thing that mattered. Bellamy had made sure he sat in with her during the debrief, to make sure she didn't say anything she shouldn't.

It had only been two weeks since then. Bellamy had taken Octavia out and they'd been doing a lot of fun things. Every once and a while Octavia would post pictures on Instagram. Clarke was happy her friend was finally able to spend time with her brother and vice versa.

Clarke on the other hand hadn't seen much of anyone. In her first week back she looked into hospital internships and because everyone at the general hospital knew her mom, they were lenient with the rules. Clarke worked in the clinics like she use to and even joined the new residents at that hospital on a volunteer basis.

While she made pretty good money doing that, she also wanted to focus on her other passion. This is why Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday mornings she taught art at the local community center. While that didn't really pay much, she didn't need the money anyway. With her parents leaving her their finances she was not struggling to pay the bills.

She also kept her job at the local cafe, but it was only on a fill-in basis. She would get one, maybe two shifts per week if someone called in sick. She was getting back to her life.

It was just after one in the afternoon when she pulled into her apartment's parking lot. She was about ready to drop. Sadly when she looked over toward the other side of the lot she saw Kane's car parked and empty. Which meant Octavia must have gotten sick of her brother and decided to make her way back to Clarke.

The blonde loved her friend, she really did. But Octavia's usually chipper mood and shining personality can sometimes make it hard to be around her when exhausted.

Clarke shook her head, finding Octavia already inside her apartment, brewing a hot chocolate in the kitchen. Per Bellamy's 'request' Clarke started locking her door when she wasn't home, as a result, Octavia insisted she gets Clarke's spare key for 'emergency'.

"Hey- Woah. You're not looking too hot."

Clarke scoffed. "Thanks, O. I just worked the graveyard shift at the hospital and then my art class was this morning."

"That's nuts. I thought you were supposed to be taking it easy?" Octavia offered her drink up to Clarke, who declined.

"The medic on base said I was fine. Bellamy is the one who said to take it easy. Speaking of, you guys been having fun?"

The young girl smiled. "I'm happy he's back and has real-time to spend with me now. we've gone rock climbing and some other fun things. I'm really happy you guys were back in time to see me graduate. It's been nice to have him back. Though it's put a crimp in my personal life if you know what I mean."

Clarke raised a brow, that caught her interest. "Seriously? You're still seeing that college guy you met last year?"

"Yeah." Octavia blushed. "His name is Lincoln. He's god Clarke he's sexy as hell."

"What's big brother think of that?"

"aha. I haven't told him. The guy is 26, no way Bell would approve. So keep it under wraps." Octavia pointed at Clarke.

The blonde shook her head. "We don't really hang out. I'd say your safe."

"Why? You two are totally hot for each other. I know something kinda happened a couple of months ago, but you both were hurting. I just assumed you'd get back together once everything was done."

"He's a more solid O. He's home for now but what happens when he leaves again. I went through it with my dad, I know how tough it is. From recent experience, I've gotten to see it."

Octavia smirked as if she knew something Clarke didn't. "Nowhere in that did I hear you deny the fact that you're crushing hard on my brother. He talks to me too you know. I know things weren't all innocent and tea parties while you guys were hiding out together."

"Cause nothing is more romantic than running for your life," Clarke said while wondering what Bellamy possibly could have said to his sister.

"Works for 90% of all love stories."

Clarke rolled her eyes, her head was starting to hurt at this point and she wanted to get to sleep before it turned into a full-blown headache.

"You can hang out if you want but I need to get some serious sleep if I am going to be heading back into the hospital tonight."

"Naw it's cool. I should get going. I just wanted to see you. Do you have a to-go cup for this?" Octavia asked, opening and looking through cupboards. ]

Clarke moved to help her once, Octavia started looking in her fridge.

"O just use one of the sealed mugs on the counter."

"Do you even eat? There is like nothing in this kitchen."

Now Clarke realized why she had gone from looking for a cup to looking in places food should be. "I mainly grab something at the hospital. I not home all that much."

"That's not really enough." Her friend looked her over.

Clarke had always been curvy, something Octavia had tried to emulate with tight clothes. Since she got back her curves were a little less defined.

Not much more was said between the girls before Octavia took her to leave. Usually, Clarke would expect a bigger stink from Octavia, she didn't realize what her leaving would lead to until a knock on her door woke her a couple of hours later.

Clarke ignored it, trying to go back to sleep. She was successful until her phone went off.

knock knock

The text was from Bellamy. 'Son of a bitch' Clarke thought, throwing her quilt off her and grumpily making her way to the door.

"Seriously?" She asked upon seeing him.

"How's it going? I've been meaning to check on you, but I wanted to give you some space once we got back."

Clarke crossed her arms as they conversed in the doorway. "You're here cause O texted you. Whatever she said, I'm all good. You don't have to worry about me."

"And if I want to?"

That threw it off, Clarke paused and changed her game up.

"I'm not the only person who lost someone. We've been back for two weeks. Worry about yourself."

"I've dealt with it." Miller's death.

"Did you forget I was also in that warehouse. I saw how you 'dealt with it'".

"I've lost people in war before Clarke. It happens." His tone was level, but he was getting worked up.

"Doesn't make it easy." She reminded him, uncrossing her arms.

"No." He agreed. "Which is why I should have come to see you before now."

Clarke shrugged. "I'm a big girl." She stepped aside then, letting him into the apartment.

They ended up talking the rest of the night, Clarke went into the hospital at nine for her shift. Bellamy became consistent in her life after that, they hung out more turned into something more. After a month of Bellamy living between the base and Clarke's place, they found themselves living together full time.

(End of flashback)

Clarke opened up the container of chicken, immediately feeling like she was going to be sick. Sighing to herself, Clarke closed up the container and tossed it back into the fridge. Opting to eat a handful of mixed nuts, she was in no mood to cook something else for herself.

When she was done in the kitchen she made her way back into the bedroom. She's taken a shower at work to avoid the delay of getting into bed at home. Throwing her clothes into the hamper, she grabbed her pj's slowly pulling up her cotton shorts. Her right hand brushed the raised scar there, a reminder of her time away and a reminder of the secret she now carried.

(FlashBack)

Bellamy had noticed Clarke was a lot quieter and stuck in her head the past couple of days. Clarke use to do that a lot when they'd first gotten back together, zone out on him. When he'd ask her what she was thinking about, she'd just respond with 'everything'. Bellamy knew to just let her be when she was like that. It was a little over a month now that they'd gotten back together and he hadn't noticed her getting quite like that until recently.

He decided to talk to her about it, picking one of the rare days she had off to do it.

"Hey." He greeted, coming to sit on the other side of the couch she was on.

"Hey." She responded, not looking up while typing away on her computer. "Octavia was telling me Kane wants to have us over for a BBQ or something soon."

Bellamy nodded, still looking at her, "You've been pretty busy lately." He hinted. "Everything alright?"

Clarke paused what she was doing to look up at him. "You've got your serious face on. What?"

"Just checking in with you. You've been quiet."

"I'm taking on more responsibility at the hospital. My head's busy is all." She said turning her attention back to her laptop.

Bellamy didn't think that was it, but he kept that thought to himself. Instead, he just continued to look at her and noticed the way she sucked and nibbled on her bottom lips as she continued with whatever she was doing.

"Plus this whole Finn thing is driving me nuts." She shared.

Bellamy rolled his eyes. Finn had been a major pain in their asses ever since they got back. Clarke had shared that she might have almost hooked up with him before she left with Lexa. That hadn't impressed Bellamy at all. But at least she was honest with him about it.

"What's is it this time?" Bellamy asked with a sigh.

Clarke shrugged. "We have a pinboard on the high school website. He keeps posting all these photos and memories and stuff, it's not really anything. I just keep getting tagged with them, it's not a big deal he just gets on my nerves."

Bellamy chuckled under his breath. "Could be worse."

"You're right. I could have actually slept with him."

Bellamy gave her a disapproving look, letting her know he didn't like her little attempt at humour.

"HAHA." Bellamy slid his hand at Clarke's computer, shutting it.

"Didn't like that one?" She asked, lowering her laptop to the floor.

Bellamy stared at her, watching Clarke try and hide a smile. He wrapped his fingers around one of Clarke's legs and pulled it across his lap, Clarke had no choice but to follow and sit straddling his legs.

"No." He said blatantly. "There are better things to do than joke about what could have been your tragic sex life."

"Oh." Clarke faked understanding. "You're just worried that my sex life would have been sad. Not the fact that it would be Finn I'd been having the sad sex with. I may not have first-hand experience but locker room talk is not a guys-only thing. He's gotten some glowing reviews from girls who've been between his sheets."

Bellamy grunted, this conversation getting less and less fun by the second. Clarke smiled at him, raising her hands in surrender.

The two sat in silence looking at each other. Bellamy's thumbs slipped between where her shirt and leggings met. His hands grazing her scar, Clarke watched as his eyebrows frowned at the different texture.

She's gotten it ages ago, back when he'd tackled her off that land mine in the middle of the woods. There had been so much wrong that day, between her going missing, the poison. That scar was just a memory of what Clarke like's to joke about as 'their first vacation together.

Turning his body, Bellamy lays Clarke under him on the couch. His lips find the scar and he kisses it after running his tongue over it. Clarke shutter and closed her eyes, loving the attention he was giving her body.

She felt Bellamy's hands curl in the fabric on her shirt pulling it up till it rested under her bra. His lips suddenly changed missions and started travelling up her stomach. Clarke's eyes flew open as she started to feel panicked. She grabbed Bellamy's chin and pulled him away from her skin and up to her lips.

Clarke's heart raced as she tried to distract herself from her weird actions. Bellamy loved exploring and claiming her body with his lips, Clarke always enjoyed that herself. But not much anymore. This is the first time she'd even given in to his sexual advances since she'd gotten a call from the hospital on the weekend.

Apparently, the hospital where Clarke had gotten all her previous tests done, had sent the remaining test results to the medics on base here. When she'd gotten a call, she expected them to be looking for Bellamy, but they weren't.

The medic had congratulated her on her pregnancy and said that the other hospital had wanted to let Clarke know that her baby hadn't been hurt. The blonde managed a thank you, over the phone before mentally breaking down alone in an on-call hospital room.

(End of Flashbacks)

Clarke still hadn't told Bellamy that they were going to have a baby. Clarke didn't even really know how she felt about it. She was 19 and working more than one job, she was sure she had some PTSD and her boyfriend was in the army. He wouldn't be home forever and she wouldn't ever ask him to not serve with his people. Not after what he already lost.

Bellamy was still young too, sure he raised his sister but that was different. Kane was always there. Clarke wasn't sure how she wanted Bellamy to react. She was going to keep it, that was about the only thing she knew. And that she was almost three months along. Maybe Bellamy hadn't noticed but Clarke was almost certain she could see a small bump forming where her baby was growing.

Clarke knew she'd have to tell him soon, but she pushed that thought aside for the night. Clarke wasn't sure if it was his army training or what, but Bellamy always seemed aware, even in sleep.

Bellamy slipped an arm under her breasts so he could pull her into his chest. He inhaled deeply once he had her tucked in safe next to him. Clarke smiled at that, closing her eyes she prayed he'd been out on his morning run again tomorrow. That way he'd miss her body punishing her for getting pregnant in the form of morning sickness.

Some of you called that baby news :)