Chapter 18

I apologiesapologize, I really have no clue how to spell luncheons* damn name. Even tho I keep checking it. It's just something ya will need to overlook in this chapter.

Clarke quickly decided that working three jobs was great money-wise, but her feet had started to swell with her being at the hospital all the time. The coffee shop wasn't bringing in all that much money anyway, she'd only kept the job because she'd liked it. This is why it was a little sad for her to let it go.

"We're going to miss you around here Clarke." Jay, one of the guys who worked there told her.

Am smiled at her, "With you gone, people are seriously going to appreciate those drawings you do in their coffees foam. I'm just barely mastered a leaf."

Clarke laughed, she'd come in after her morning class to return her uniform and pick up her last paycheck. Jay and Amy were the fire people she'd met while working here, despite her less than sunny disposition when she'd first arrived, they always seemed to look past it.

"While I won't be behind the counter making my own drinks anymore, I know where the best coffee on campus is. I'll be back so much you'll be sick of me." Then a thought popped into her head, pregnant women can't drink coffee. "I should get going. See you guys around."

Clarke made fast work getting to her car, it was across campus and her feet were seriously killing her, especially after she'd pulled another night shift. Something else she would probably have to give up soon. Bellamy always got after her for working so much, when he founds out she'd pregnant he will no doubt demand she cut down. Clarke felt a headache, just imagining the fight that was going to bring on.

When she got to her car, Clarke noticed she was going to be a little late to the BBQ at Kane's place. She told Bellamy she'd be back in time for them to go together, but that wasn't going to happen now. She still had to stop by the hospital and pick up some paperwork she'd been too tired to remember to bring home the other night.

Before she pulled onto the road Clarke wrote out a quick text to send to Bellamy.

Looks like I'm going to have to meet you at Kane's. Sorry. - C

As she dove Clarke heard her phone go off, waiting till she was sitting at a reading light to look at it. Instead of seeing Bellamy's reply, the youngest Blake had been the one to text her.

What the hell is going on between you and Bell? - O

Nothing going on... - C

He showed up here, alone, with a fake smile on his face and looked like he hadn't slept in 3 days. I just assumed something happened between you guys. -O

We're fine. I haven't seen him except to sleep. I've been crazy busy this week. -C

Just get here soon. I haven't seen you in forever either. - O

Clarke didn't bother answering, she dropped her phone into the center cup holder and at the next opportunity took a right. Paperwork could wait, this BBQ was important and Clarke wanted to figure out what was going on with Bellamy.

Thanks to daytime traffic, Clarke ended up being close to half an hour late. When she got out of the car, she could smell the BBQ cooking from the backyard. With a slightly sad look at her old house, Clarke pushes the sad thoughts away. Ignoring the pain in her feet, Clarke walked into the house.

Like she suspected, Octavia was alone in the kitchen making drinks. While the boys were bonding over fire.

"Hi O," Clarke announced herself.

"Good you hear. Now I don't have to drink alone." Octavia smiled wide, handing Clarke an icy drink. "Don't worry, there is hardly any juice in it."

Clarke pretended to take a sip, before setting the drink on the countertop.

"How are things going out there?"

Octavia sighed. "Good, It's nice to have him home. He's been great, I love having my big brother back."

"I bet. You didn't get to have it back the first time."

"Kane's out there with him now, last time I was out there the two were whispering about something. I just decided to make myself useful in here until you showed up."

"Where can I help?" Clarke had to take a seat on one of the barstools, she couldn't stand to be on her feet any longer.

"You can finish up that drink and tell me how you're life has been."

"Well, I quit the cafe today." Clarke hoped the shocking news would distract his friend from the fact that she hadn't in fact picked up her drink.

Octavia stopped cutting up vegetables for the salad mid chop. "I thought you liked it there?"

"I do. I just think it's important to focus on the two jobs that I really love. I only stayed on at the cafe because I wasn't sure what to do with myself after coming back."

"And know you know?"

"I know that art and Medicine are my future, not drawing designs in the coffee foam."

"At least you know what you want." Octavia smiled and continued her chopping.

"I just turned in my uniform today, and I hadn't had a chance to tell Bellamy yet."

"I won't say anything," Octavia promised her. "Okay everything's ready in here, let's go see if the boys are almost done."

The first thing Clarke noticed when she followed Octavia outside was the dark circles under Bellamy's eyes. Octavia was right, he looked like he hadn't slept in days. But his smile seemed genuine when he saw her.

"Hi." She smiled back at him.

"Oh, you forgot you're drinking inside." Octavia looked like she was about to run in and get it, but Clarke put out an arm to stop her.

"You know what, I plan to go by the hospital a little later, I shouldn't show up buzzed."

Octavia sighed but accepted what she was saying.

"How are you doing Clarke?" Kane asked from his spot behind the BBQ.

"Good. I have the rest of the afternoon off, it's been pretty busy recently." Octavia and Kane worked at 6, so the group decided on a 2 pm BBQ.

"You three jobs can be a lot. You're still young, you should make time for some fun in your life."

Clarke immediately felt her stomach drop. She'd been so caught up in thinking and worrying about how Bellamy was going to react to the news of his child. She hadn't even started to think about Octavia, let alone Kane's reaction.

Clarke saw Octavia give her a look when Kane mentioned the three jobs. Bellamy apparently caught that look too, Clarke figured she could get one "Secret" out of the way today.

"Actually it's only two now. I gave my apron back to the cafe before I came here. I don't need it with my other two jobs and I wasn't working enough for me to make a difference."

"Well good." Kane smiled. "It's something, and that's better than nothing."

Clarke smiled, when Kane's attention when back to his BBQ her eyes drifted to Bellamy. The thing about Clarke and Bellamy is they communicate a lot with just a couple of glances.

While he seemed shocked by the news, Bellamy didn't seem upset. That was the most important thing, Clarke was trying to stay on everyone's good side until her baby news was announced. She needed all her friends on her side if she was going to be through these next 19 years.

The dinner started and everyone shared a conversation, But Clarke knew something was on Bellamy's mind. Something that was keeping him from fully enjoying himself. Clarke wanted to pull him aside and ask him about it, but she didn't want to make things worse if he didn't want to talk about it.

While everything smelled like something she desperately wanted to eat, Clarke ate a little salad and half a hamburger. When Kane questioned her, Clarke told him that she'd had a small stomach bug and was working her way up to big meals. While Kane nodded and went back to eating, her lie earned Clarke a confused glance from the Blake siblings.

After dinner, everyone stayed and talked until Kane and Octavia had to go. Bellamy and Clarke saw them off, planning to take care of the dishes themselves.

Once the plate was put in the dishwasher, Clarke got to washing the bigger bowls while Bellamy dried. Now that they were alone, Clarke decided now was the time to see what had Bellamy so distracted.

"Everything okay?" She asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"O said you weren't acting like yourself. Tonight I noticed you seemed distracted."

Bellamy shook his head, shutting off the flow of water to the kitchen sink. Clarke leaned her hip against the sink and looked up at him.

"I'm good." He deflected. "A little worried about you though. I didn't realize you were feeling sick."

Clarke shook her head, technically it wasn't a lie. She was getting morning sickness and her appetite has decreased. It just wasn't because of the flu.

"I've been working a lot at the hospital and the center with all the art students. I was bound to catch something." Clarke told him.

"Maybe you should cut down your hours a little bit, see if you can get some time off or-"

"Bellamy. I appreciate it. But I'm good. I can handle it."

He seemed to think differently, he could see how tired she was. The dark circles under her eyes were more present by the fact that she seemed paler than usual.

"Those nights off you'll have now that you're not at the cafe. You should at least leave them to work free, look after yourself."

Clarke licked her lips, and took a breath; not wanting to fight about this already. "I'm not going to turn down a shift if it's offered but I'm not going to purposefully fill in the time."

Bellamy shook his head, leaning in to kiss her forehead. No one could ever say that the princess was not dedicated or a hard worker.

Turning the water back on, they finished the dishes with more small talk. While they kept their secrets that night, it was only 4 nights later on Saturday that everything spilled out.

.

"Clarke and Bellamy are here!" The two heard Jasper yell as they pulled up to Monty's uncle's yard.

Monty's uncle was away on business. Back in high school, this means there was a ranging party. Nowadays, with most of their high school counterparts all across the country, it was just a small group of them. Sadly that small group still included Finn.

When they walked into the backyard, Clarke felt Bellamy pull her in closer. She looked up at him, while Clarke wasn't opposed to PDA their small disagreement in the car didn't put them in a couple of moods.

Clarke and Bellamy were in the car on the way to the party. Clarke had stopped getting sick in the mornings, now she was getting sick at random times throughout the day. Which meant that now Bellamy was witnessing it, and it was putting him in a bad mood.

"Would you just go get checked out? I don't understand why that's such an outrageous request."

"We aren't going to the hospital just so I can get checked out, I'm there more than I am at home at this point."

"The medic on base can check you out or we can drive to another hospital." Bellamy was trying to stay calm, but his voice was raising.

Clarke threw her arms up in the passenger seat, "It's not about the hospital! My point is, I'm there all the time, if anything were really wrong with me someone would have noticed and I would have gotten it checked out." Clarke indeed had asked one of the doctors up in speeds, what could cause all-day morning sickness.

They just said some point get it in the morning or afternoon and some unlucky souls get it all the time. There wasn't anything Clarke could do at this point but eat as little as possible without hurting the baby, and stay away from things that smell too strong.

"You're not fine."

"Look it doesn't even matter, we are going to this thing at Monty's uncles," Clarke said trying to defuse the situation. "I was only sick this morning. Aw, I'm feeling a lot better now."

This secret she was keeping was starting to get between them, but so was his. They hadn't spent more than 8 hours together all week. And when they were together they were both weren't themselves.

Bellamy gave her a sideways glance, "You don't look better."

Clarke bit her tongue, settling with folding her arms overhear chest and looking out the window in silence.

With Bellamy's hand on her hip and chest at her back, Clarke followed his eye line and found Finn Collins looking at them. Clarke wanted to puke right then and there, she thought he was out of town and was not prepared to deal with him tonight. Her feet hurt, she felt like she could puke at the slightest whiff of anything and she was just plain tired.

"Great," Clarke muttered under her breath.

"The hell is he doing here?" Bellamy asked.

Clarke just shrugged, everyone was sitting around the fire pit. Drinks in hand.

"Who the hell is that!?" Bellamy snapped.

Clarke looked back up at him again, then followed his eyes back to the fire where Octavia sat; on the lap of some beefy dude.

'Oh Fuck' Clarke couldn't help but think to herself. Octavia picked tonight, of all damn nights to bring her secret boyfriend to meet her brother.

Clarke turned and put her hands on the hard plain on Bellamy's chest. She could feel the elevated speed of his heart rate in his chest, he was more than a little agitated now.

"Listen, she's been seeing him for a while. She likes him, Bellamy. Just don't just all over-"

His gaze snapped from the fire down to her, "You knew." He growled. "Of course, he fucking knew."

Bellamy stepped around her and marched toward the fire, grabbing a beer from one of the coolers on his way. Clarke dropped her head back and looked at the sky, praying for the strength to live through the night.

"Hey," Finn said he'd waited for Bellamy to leave before he walked over to her.

"Hi, Finn." Somehow Clarke found the strength to not tell him to leave her the fuck alone and go fuck himself.

"You're looking good. Almost dying probably does that to a person though, make you appreciate life."

"I guess. How'd you even know about that?" She knew none of her friends would have told him.

"It was on the news. They mentioned your father and a couple of other things. I put it together."

"Okay well. I'm not really in the mood to talk about it ever so-" Clarke went to walk around him, but Finn side-stepped her blocking the way.

'Seriously?' Clarke thought. "Can I get you something?"

"I should be the one asking you that."

"I'm good. Just looking to sit down." Clarke told him, raising her eyebrows.

"Right! There is an open seat right next to me."

If she wasn't so tired, Clarke would have protested harder to Finn's hand on her lower back. But her boyfriend was focused on her sister right now, tonight Octavia was on her own, Clarke could only do so much.

Taking the fold-out seat between Finn and Jasper, Clarke let the fire heat her bare legs. She's worn a royal blue dress that flowed with a cream-coloured cardigan to hide whatever stomach she had.

"So Clarke what are you doing now?" Finn asked her, trying to keep her focused on him.

"Work."

Finn laughed, "I assumed so, I meant what field."

Clarke wanted to just smack him, usually, his advances were just annoying but tonight they were making her angry. All the baby hormones in her were causing some serious mood swings.

"Art and Medical."

"Ah, following both paths. You always looked your best while covered in paint."

Clarke gave him the side-eye, was he being serious right now?

Thankfully Jasper lit up his bong, Clarke used that as an excuse to go sit around on the other side of the fire. She found that Bellamy and Octavia had disappeared to the other side of the yard, where they seemed to be fighting. Leaving her boyfriend alone.

"Hi, I'm Clarke." She said, shaking his hand.

He nodded like her name was familiar to him. "Lincoln I'm-"

"With Octavia," Clarke said, giving a nod of her own. "Don't worry about Bellamy, he's just protective."

"I respect that."

"Seriously?" Clarke almost couldn't believe that. "Good for you. His bark is worse than his bite."

Monty took that time to slide his dirty mind into the conversation. "You would know, wouldn't you Clarke."

She shot him a dirty look and Monty went back to talking cartoons with Jasper.

"Here, looks like you need a drink." A hand came over her shoulder, as Finn offered her a beer.

"No, I'm good." Clarke would have turned to look at him, but his face was pressed against her cheek.

Standing slightly, his chest touching the back of her head, and one hand massaging her shoulder while the other held the beer. He turned to Lincoln.

"This girl could drink me under the table in high school. She drove me crazy this one."

"Looks like she just wants to hang out tonight," Lincoln said back.

Clarke smiled at him thankfully, happy he was coming to her defence.

"Sit down Finn." Raven snapped, their conversation had drawn the attention of everyone around the fire.

"I'm good," Finn answered, thinking the comment was about his level of drunkenness and less about the fact he had just started to play with Clarke's hair.

The beer on his breath was making Clarke's stomach turn, "Yeah Finn, It's just a little two warm being stuck between you and the fire."

"Is that why Bellamy was sitting on the other side of the fire? You were too hot?"

Clarke sighed, trying to bat his hands away from her hair. "Finn seriously, I'm not in the mood for this tonight."

"That's not what you were saying the last time we were all together."

Clarke could have clocked him, she did not need everyone knowing she'd almost let Finn fuck her while Bellamy was away.

Across the fire, Monty started to hand. "I would leave her be."

Clarke hadn't realized why he suddenly sounded so worried until he heard Octavia yelling after her brother and Bellamy's pissed-off voice.

"I've had enough of this." He said, seconds later, Finn was no longer stuck to Clarke's back.

"This was a long time coming." Clarke heard Jasper say.

Turning in her seat. Clarke says Finn laying on his back kicking up at Bellamy, who looked enraged.

"Knock it off!" Octavia yelled, trying to push her brother away from the drunk Finn; but he wasn't moving.

Clarke knew Finn wasn't going to walk away and she knew Bellamy sure as hell wasn't, not unless she made him. Getting to her feet Clarke rounded the chair, where Lichon had started to stand up.

"Did ya know that?" Finn taunted.

Clarke knew Bellamy knew what had happened that night, or at least he knew that nothing did. But she still saw the fire in his eyes at the insinuation.

Rolling to his side, Finn stumbled to his feet. Bellamy had his shirt in his hands their faces inches apart. Clarke knew Bellamy couldn't really get into it like a normal guy could like she knew he wanted to. With his training and military status, it was severely frowned upon for Bellamy to use his training to kick random people's asses.

"Bellamy!" Now that the punching had stopped, Clarke walked so she was standing beside Finn. "He's not worth it. I'm ready to go, walk away."

Bellamy had his eyes burning a hole in Finn, who suddenly seemed less cocky. When he didn't look at her or release Finn, Clarke placed one of her hands on his shoulder and said his name again.

Slowly they all watched to see what He was going to do. After a couple of quiet moments, Bellamy pulled Finn a little closer then shoved him away roughly. Clarke set in front of Bellamy then, because even though Finn fell to his ass he still tried to get back up again. Monty and Jasper intervened then. pulling him back to the fire.

"Let's go," Bellamy said, grabbing Clarke's hand and pulling her toward the front yard.

There were a couple of muttered goodbyes on the way out.

Once they got back to the car, Clarke watched as Bellamy paced in front of him. Still angry, she knew he's had a couple of beers in the short hour they'd been there and wasn't about to let him drive them home like this.

When it seemed like his pacing was slowing down, Clarke walked over to him. Holding her hand out for the keys, usually, he would protest a little. Tonight however he handed them over without a word and got in the car.

The drive back to the apartment was quiet because they knew once they got there; they were going to have to talk.

"What was that?" Clarke asked him, once he'd locked the door.

Bellamy kicked off his shoes. "Every damn time he's around he's all over you! If he isn't he's saying shit that I don't like. I should have knocked his ass out." He spoke between clenched teeth, his anger still present.

"That's just Finn." Clarke didn't know what else to say. "That's what he does, we both know it. You're just supposed to ignore him."

"I can't, not when you let him be all over you like that!"

Clarke's jaw dropped. "I don't let him do anything-"

"You already did! When he reminded me of tonight. Or did you not hear?"

"Wow! You can't fucking use that as a- Nothing happened. You know nothing happened! You can't fucking throw it in my face when there is nothing to throw."

"It wanted it then. Who's to say you won't want it again."

"Excuse me?"

"You god damn heard me."

"You think I'd cheat on you?" Clarke couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Bellamy shrugged. He didn't think she ever would, but he was hurting and he wasn't in control of himself.

"Let's just clear the air, if I ever did cheat. It wouldn't be with some idiot like Finn. This isn't even an old fight? I don't understand why you're trying to make this about Finn."

"I'm not making it anything. Finn was hanging all over you tonight and I didn't like it! And I sure as hell didn't have to standby and watch it happen!"

Clarke threw up her hands, she didn't know what the hell to say anymore. Instead, she chose to say nothing and walked to their room, closing the door loudly behind her.

Changing out of her dress, Clarke put on one of Bellamy's big band t-shirts and a pair of black panties underneath. Once she was done she walked back out into the living room. She hoped that in that time, Bellamy calmed down enough so that they wouldn't have another screaming match.

Bellamy was standing in the kitchen, hands planted on the island countertop, his head hung down. Clarke went over to him, thankful that the pacing had finally stopped. With a little help from the drawer below, she got up so she was seated beside him on the counter. She sat in silence until he was ready to talk.

"Finn's an idiot, I shouldn't have let him get to me." Clarke nodded, Bellamy raised his head. "The possibility of you two was never something that bothered me until recently."

That made Clarke confused. "It isn't a possibility Bellamy."

"I got a call from Sgt Miller last week. He needs me to lead a team, I ship out in two days." He's seen men get letters while away, their wives and girlfriends leaving them for someone back home. He didn't want Clarke and him to end like that. Somehow whenever he'd imagined it this past week, she'd always left him for Finn.

Clarke felt her heart drop, she knew this was coming, she just didn't expect it now.

"How long?"

"Hard to say. He said it would be quick and dirty. But quick in the military could be a handful of weeks, a couple of months... Sometimes years if things go wrong." He was looking at her now, gagging her reactions.

"I'm going to be here when you get back Bellamy." Now that she realized what his problem was, she would erasure him. "You don't have to worry about that stuff with me."

Talking his right hand, Clarke pulled until he moved to stand in front of her. Bellamy occupied his hands by resting them on her thighs and playing with the helm of his shirt. He loved when she wore his clothes.

"I could be gone a long time Clarke. It won't just be once. I'll get called out like this for the next 10 years, or however long I stay in the game."

Clarke laced her fingers around his neck. "I know. It doesn't change anything. Why didn't you tell me."

"We're getting into the swing of things, it's never fun to leave for war Clarke. I didn't want to see the look on your face when I had to tell you I was taking off. and-..."

"And this will be your first mission solo." Without Miller.

Bellamy shook his head, in sadness. He leaned forward to rest his head on her shoulder. Clarke hugged him tight and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Since we're being honest. You're not the only one, who's been afraid to share something."

Bellamy pulled back slightly so he could look at her, he waited in silence, as she had for him.

"The reason I've been so sick... It's not the flu Bellamy. I have- I have morning sickness, Because-"

"You're pregnant."