Chapter 19

Honestly, writers block like you would not believe! If anyone had any idea or predictions on what's to happen next, leave it in the reviews. I love to know what you think. It also can help me think the different way this story can go. I'm thinking time jump maybe?

Clarke's heart dropped just hearing him say the words.

"You're pregnant."

Clarke looked down, feeling Bellamy's hands fist the ends of the shirt she was wearing. She was afraid to look back up, if she did she'd have to face their new reality. Clarke's hands slid from around his neck, coming down to rest on top of Bellamy's wrists.

"'I have to call him back." With that said, Bellamy turned away from Clarke so he could get his phone in the living room.

Clarke watched him go. "Call who?"

"Sgt Miller. I have to tell him I decline."

Hopping down from the counter she joined him. "Why would you do that."

The look Bellamy gave her made it seem like she'd just asked him to kill his sister.

"You're pregnant Clarke."

"And?" Wanting more out of him, she couldn't tell how he was feeling.

He scoffed at her, looking back down at his phone to find his sgt in his contacts. Before the phone was placed at his ear, Clarke had it in her hands, canceling the call.

"Clarke!"

She held her hand out to him palm up, when he tried to grab his phone back.

"Just wait a minute. Bellamy you leave in two days-"

"No. I don't."

Clarke shook her head and licked her lips, "You had to raise your sister, you worked for horrible bosses and always put her first. Because you had to, she was your responsibility." A burden.

My sister my responsibility. "This,isn't the same as that."

"But it is, once again your stuck raising-"

"Woah!" Bellamy's voice boomed, cutting her off. "I'm not stuck in anything."

Bellamy realized where he'd gone wrong. He'd skipped a couple steps. His mind had immediately jumped to wanting to be there to see his kid born, wanting to see Clarke wobble around their apartment and see her stomach get bigger. He couldn't do that if he was fighting in a different country. With his mind stuck on that, he'd forgotten to react.

When he figured it out, all he'd wanted to do was rip his first off her and take her in the kitchen. Tell her how happy the idea that she was giving him a family made him.

Clarke blinded fast, keeping tears from falling down her face. She didn't really know how she expected Bellamy to react, but getting no reaction at all was worse then him getting angry.

Bellamy grabbed Clarke by the shirt and pulled her forward till her chest was pressed tight again his. He slid one arm around her back, the other in her hair. He took a second to relish in the feel of her hands pressed against his chest and her stomach pressed into him.

"This-" His hand slid between them to land on her stomach, "is all I've ever wanted."

Clarke looked up at him from beneath her lashes, "Really?" His words sounding a little too daytime soap, to be real.

He nodded against her forehead, hands roaming her body over his tee. Clarke's head dropped with a thud to his chest, she inhaled deeply. She became easily side tracked, Bellamy's hands awakening all those baby hormones.

With his lips at her ear, he answered her in a huff of breath, "Really."

"Bellamy-" He kissed her quiet. "We need to talk about this."

"Not now-"

"Then when? You only have-" He kissed her once again, not wanting to even entertain the thought of leaving her.

"You just told me I'm going to be a dad. That's all I want to talk about right now."

"But-" Clarke couldn't stop thinking that in 48 hours Bellamy would be in a war zone, undergoing some crazy, dangerous mission.

Bellamy held her chin with his thumb, "Clarke... Stop."

(M)

When she didn't say anything more, Bellamy took her hand and lead her into their room. He sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her to him, Clarke had no choice but to straddle his lap. He kissed her slowly, hand sliding under his shirt and up her thigh. When his fingers moved from skin to panties, Clarke let out a shaky breath.

"Pretty sure this is how we ended up in this situation in the first place." Clarke muttered against his lips.

Bellamy smiled, tightening his grip around her waist, slipping his finger into her panties. Watching her face as he played with her, kissing her shoulder when her hips started rocking against him.

"Uha." Clarke grabbed Bellamy's shoulders, the shirt fabric bunched in her fist.

The blonde's head fell forward as her stomach tightened, the faster Bellamy moved his fingers the quicker her breathing accelerated. When she was a moment from falling over the edge, Bellamy brought his lips to her ear, giving it a nip.

"You going to give me what I want Princess?"

Clarke bit her lip, his words pulling a whimper from her mouth. She nodded at him, unable to speak. He chuckled, talking his hand out of her panties. With one hand now free, Bellamy used it to free his cock from his pants. He was well past ready for her, he knew that his teasing had her on edge, but Bellamy still wanted to take this slow.

Lifting Clarke up slightly, he groaned when his cock felt the heat of her entrance. Clarke steadied herself, both her hands on Bellamy's shoulders. When she was sure she was secure and wouldn't fall out of Bellamy's lap, Clarke sank down on him.

"You feel amazing." Bellamy told her, once she sat firmly on his lap, with him filling her completely.

Bellamy felt her walls fluttering around him, she was so damn close. She felt so damn good, he held her down on his lap. Together they moved their hips against each other, their movements mixed with how deep he was inside her. It was only a couple moments later when they both fell apart together.

.

"Go!" Clarke told him, "Seriously, I'm good."

Clarke stood with Bellamy at the door to their apartment. He had his bags packed and his ride was waiting for him down stairs.

"I'll only be able to call you when I'm on base, safety reasons."

Clarke nodded, Bellamy picked up his bags ready to leave, when she called out to him.

"Bellamy, just-come back."

He looked her over, pausing on her stomach. Nodding at her, Bellamy left.

Once she was alone, Clarke locked the doors and stood in silence. If she was being honest with herself she wasn't sure if Bellamy was going to leave when it came time. The morning after he'd found out she was pregnant, she spent the time before heading to work, convincing him that he had to go.

(FB)

Bellamy pulled Clarke closer to him, under the sheets. their bare bodies warm from their activities throughout the night. They'd both were slowly waking up and since her alarm hadn't gone off yet, Clarke knew she still had some time to laze around in bed.

"Every morning could be like this you know." With her head on his chest, Clarke look up at him brows frowned in confusion. "If I stayed."

Clarke sighed, using her index finger she started drawing patterns on Bellamy's chest.

"My mornings consist of puking and sweating until I need to shower for work."

"You know what I mean."

Both of them watched, as Clarke drew shapes and letters. Their conversation as lazy as her movements.

Clarke tired to reason with him, "You can't not go Bellamy."

"I could be gone till after the baby is born." He swallowed thickly.

"Or you could be there and back before I blow up to the size of a whale. Either way, I don't really think you have much of a choice."

"Clarke. I want to be here."

She stopped her movements and looked up at him once again. "Okay. So let's say you don't go. This is your job, a couple months down the line you could get another call."

Bellamy rested his head back into the pillow, his eyes on the ceiling. It was true, up until he came back to his home town on orders from Jake Griffin, Bellamy hadn't taken a breaks. He'd jumped from one job to another, back then he always had Miller with him, and he hadn't had Clarke or a baby to worry about coming back to.

"If you're worried about me, don't be." Clarke tried another angle, hands on his chest she rolled so she was now laying on top of him. "I have all my friends, who are most likely going to be spending most of the next 7 to 8 months, fighting over who gets to be the god parent, and who's the best uncle. I'm sure Octavia's going to be pretty excited too."

Bellamy looked at her. One hand now on her thigh, the other cupping her side.

"I still have some time. I need to think about all my options."

Clarke groaned, going from laying against Bellamy to sitting on top of him.

Thinking her noise came from annoyance at his words, Bellamy defended himself. "It's not a fast and simple decision Clarke."

But the blonde hadn't been reacting to his words, but rather the build up of saliva in her mouth and sudden need to barf. Her face paled and she quickly removed herself from Bellamy, running toward the bathroom.

Realizing what was happening, Bellamy grabbed a pair of boxers, slipping them on. Next he grabbed the bed sheet, and followed Clarke into the bathroom. Bending down next to her, he wrapped her naked body in the bed sheet, so she wasn't bare skin to the cold tile surrounding her.

After wrapping her up, Bellamy went into the kitchen and got out some salt crackers and turned on the tea pot to mix up some tea. Leaving that behind, he went back to the bathroom, taking a seat with his back against the tub.

From his own experience, Bellamy knew that when he was throwing up and his mother would rub his back, it would make him feel like he had to throw up even more. So he settled for placing a hand on Clarke's covered thigh and rubbing circles into it with his thumb.

20 minutes later, Clarke was slumped beside Bellamy, head cooled by the tub. When she felt satisfied that she wasn't going to throw up anymore, she stood on wobbly legs. Washing her mouth with water in the sink, she turned to Bellamy, who'd also gotten to his feet and was now standing behind her.

He looked like he was fighting an inner battle, Clarke knew it was over him leaving. She assumed that would be how he would spend his day, debating wither or not to leave. As much as she would love to have him here, Clarke knew she had to make it her job to get him back in the field.

Putting on her best smile she told him it was, "Time to get ready for work."

(FB)

Walking over to the counter, she saw all the different kind of tea Bellamy had bought in preparation for his departure. She couldn't help but think 'now what?'. There was another 3 hours left in her morning before work, without Bellamy around to keep her company, she'd just have to try and find something else to occupy her time.

Knowing her phone had at least a handful of emails she still needed to respond to, Clarke curled up on the couch.

.

Bellamy second guessed his decision to leave the whole way to the base. He almost asked the driver to turn back, all he would have to do was tell Sgt Miller he wasn't ready yet. In his heart Bellamy wanted to stay with Clarke, see the baby grow inside her. His head, knew that she'd been right. There were going to be times through their lives together where he would miss mile stones, because of the job.

As he boarded the plane, Bellamy couldn't help but think to early this morning, Clarke had one some old baggy PJ pants and a black band tee. Laying in bed on top of the covers, is where he found her when he got back from the store.

She held a book above her head, it looked like a mystery novel, if the cover was anything to go on.

"Hi." She greeted him, once noticing he was leaning in the entry way, staring.

"You're face looks really pale." Clarke scoffed, looking away from her book to look at him. "Did you get sick while I was gone?"

"No. Not to jinx myself, but the baby seems to be giving a break this morning. However, I think the nauseous feeling is just something that never goes away."

Bellamy walked into the room, sitting on the bed beside her and removing the book from her hands.

"Why don't you come to the kitchen? We can go over the emergency numbers one more time and I can make you some toast."

Clarke let out a slow breath through her lips, "You wrote all the emergency information down. I don't think I have to worry to much about memorizing it. If I'm not at Class or work I'll be here, I'll keep the paper on the fridge. But there isn't going to be an emergency, and if there was, I'm sorry but I'm going to call O, or any one other of my friends, and 911 before I consider maybe calling someone on base."

"This is serious."

"I know, because you keep telling me how serious it is."

"I'm not going to be here Clarke, I'm giving you the next best thing."

Clarke reached over to put a hand on his thigh, "I know you're feeling out of control, so you want to control what you can. At this point all it is doing is annoying me."

Bellamy shook his head, biting his tongue.

"You're going to look so different when I get back." Bellamy slid Clarke's shirt a couple inches up her stomach. "There is only a tiny bump, I don't think I would have noticed it."

"Take a long good look, I'm going to be rolling places, like that girl from charlie and the chocolate factory."

Bellamy snickered, "At least you won't be blue."

"You never know." Clarke joked. "Blue has always been my color."

Humming in agreence, Bellamy leaned down to give Clarke a kiss.

"Here." Bellamy handed Clarke her book back. "Someone will be here for me soon, I'm going to pack the rest of my stuff."

Clarke felt woozy, like her body couldn't decide if it wanted to pass out and throw up, or maybe both at the same time.

"You know what, I should get up anyway. I'm going to try and get down a couple crackers and then take a shower. If there is still more to do, I'll help you pack."

Moving slowly Clarke stumbled her way into the kitchen, bumping into the living room chair as she went.

"What was that?" Bellamy asked her. "You okay."

"Fine." She said back, sinking to the floor in the middle of the living room.

Clarke was suddenly feeling very week, she was between the kitchen and her room. At this point she could either, crawl back to bed or try and crawl to the kitchen and eat something.

After figuring out that either option wasn't really going to happen, Clarke chose secret option number three.

"Bellamy?" Her voice sounded as week as she felt.

He called back out to her, but when she didn't give him a response he quickly made his way out of the bedroom.

"Clarke! What the hell?" Bellamy ran to her and dropped to his knees beside her.

Clarke had her head resting on her knees as her head spun, she was doing everything she could to keep from passing out. Breath in through her nose and out through her mouth, keeping her eyes firmly shut.

"Please don't touch me." She was afraid if he moved her from the spot she'd found that made her feel the smallest percent better, she could be a goner.

"I'm calling 911."

"No!" Clarke told him. "I'm okay."

"This isn't okay." He's tone one you'd use if speaking to a toddler, phone already in hand.

She took some deep breaths, "Can you just get to the kitchen, get a spoon, the nutella jar and a glass of ice water?"

"Clarke..."

"I'm constantly throwing up. I'm just feeling weak because nothings really stuck around in my system long enough. It's the same feeling you get after a really hard workout." She took another deep, steady breath. "Can you just get me the things I asked for please."

Pensive eyes still on her, Bellamy got to his feet. Moving around the kitchen, he found everything she told him to get. Bringing them over to her.

Bellamy watched Clarke go for the nutella first, taking a big spoonful and cleaning the silver with her mouth. He watched her carefully, the color slowly returned to her cheeks, as little as was there before. Once she was feeling strong enough, Clarke lifted her head to sip at the cool water.

"Thanks."

Bellamy nodded, "Maybe this is a sign."

"No, no, no, no. Look It was dumb of me, I was feeling weak this morning. I was enjoying the no puking and decided to delay getting up for breakfast. I won't do it again."

"If I wasn't here, what would you have done?"

"Crawling."

Bellamy shook his head, he couldn't believe he was leaving in 5 hours. Couldn't believe, Clarke still expected him to leave after this .

"I already said it wasn't going to happen again, I know this looked bad, but I promise it's fine."

Shaking his head, he asked Clarke if she was ready to get off the floor. When she was he slowly helped her to her feet and back into the bedroom.

"Wait here, I'll bring you something for breakfast."

Clarke sighed, the guy was already having trouble leaving her, then she had to go and nearly pass out on him. Looking over at the clock on her night stand, the blonde calculated that there were 5 hours left until Bellamy had to leave. Five more hours for her to make sure he doesn't change his mind.

As Bellamy boarded the plane, the plane that was taking him away from his family, he paused. His eyes trained on the exit.

.

2 Months and no word from Bellamy. Clarke had started to show, her stomach growing with the baby it held inside. Octavia had been over the moon about the news. Bellamy had told her the day before he left, making sure that Clarke would have someone to talk to through the time he was away.

While Clarke knew if something had happened to Bellamy, she'd be getting a visit from Sgt Miller. It didn't keep her from worrying. Bellamy could be injured or in trouble at any moment and she wouldn't know. Just like he hadn't known when she'd been in trouble during her months with Lexa.

Though thoughts were always in her mind, but so was the thoughts of her baby. Clarke slid up onto an exam table in the doctors office. Clarke finished her shift at the hospital 2 hours ago, but waited around for Harper to check her over. Harper was someone she'd come to like since working at the hospital. It was only an added bonus that Harper is what some people call a 'baby doctor'.

"The spotting and cramping has stopped." Clarke told her, nervously playing with her fingers. "The cramping, it only really lasted a couple hours through the afternoon. I wouldn't have thought anything about it, but then I noticed some blood when I went to the bathroom."

Harper smiled at her, reading over Clarke's chart and looking at the past ultra sound. "I think you're baby is trying to tell you something. You were already over working yourself, but the last couple weeks you're working overtime almost every night. This is your bodies way of telling you to slow down."

Clarke looked down, she found it hard to sleep with Bellamy gone. She couldn't help but worry about him. She figured if four hours a night was all she was getting, she could get that between patients in an on call room.

"I quit my job at the campus cafe, I guess I just picked those hours up here."

Harper sent her a skeptical look, "I think this is a little more than what you use to work at the coffee shop. You're baby is healthy, let's try to keep it that way. Take some time off to rest."

Clarke knew Harper wasn't just suggesting a little break. No one else of staff knew about her pregnancy yet, but Harper wouldn't be shy about going to their boss if Clarke didn't take proper care of her self and book some time off.

"I've already committed my schedule this week, with the extra hours. But I promise when the week is over I'll just work what they booked me for."

The had a mini stair down for 10 seconds before Harper nodded, content.

I legit wrote half of this while falling asleep last night, there may be some mistakes I missed while skimming thought this morning.